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  2. Vegalia

    Frenchgirl on emergency

    Hi @Frenchgirl How are you? Bisous Vega.
  3. Thank you Shep, I know it can take 4 days or more. I' m worry with my awfull sensations in brain and my state who is worse. Affraid to have such symptômes for months or years. I am affraid to have wayting to long time for a succès updose or not updosed enought when I did first time. And in the same time : affraid to be too nervous with a updose now. I never paniced like that. In french forum I was présent to support the other, calme, quiet...Erell, or Frenchgirl could say this. Now, it is me in panic... Thank you Shep for your words. How many time should I waiting before taper L-tryptophane please? Thank you a lot Shep. Vega
  4. thanks @Altostrata I will remind myself of that. I hope there will be some relief soon. I am unsure if the afternoon/eve peak in symptoms is a paradoxical reaction to diazepam build up in the day as I do get some anxiolytic effect from the Evening dose and also it seems to be kicking up before the middle dose? It seems like I am getting a window of 2-3 hours of slightly reduced anxiety from the morning diazepam and usually a small reduction after the evening dose but in between that it is overwhelming and feels purely chemical. I know diazepam has a long half life but I have never got more than 2-3 hours mild anxiolytic effect from each dose except maybe when I was taking higher doses like 15mg-20mg a day earlier in my taper. Maybe the morning and evening diazepam doses are just masking the intensity of the AD withdrawals a bit. Or maybe for some reason the vortioxetine withdrawal is just not as bad in the morning. I don’t know. 16/11 9.00am got up felt some chemical feeling anxiety on waking took 2mg diazepam 10.00am had breakfast and did crossword feel a bit calmer 11.30am walk to corner shop, find this hard. Feel a little bit peculiar and everything around me feels depressing. Random memory comes of a dream I had months ago - try and let it pass 12.30pm chemical anxiety feeling rising, try and do some housework. Head vice feeling getting stronger and tingling 1.00pm view of the world starts to change everything feels threatening not in a paranoid way just discomforting and a definite chemical feel to it 1.30pm try and watch Big Bang theory but the discomforting feeling is still there and I feel peculiar 2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam 3.00pm go to lay down as feel too strange and do some deep breathing. Take 0.85mg vortioxetine 4.00pm try and do an online quiz. Even adverts on there i am having a bizarre reaction to. I feel like I’ve taken a hallucinogenic drug or something I just feel peculiar and getting bizarre intense reactions to things. They feel different than a few days ago in terms of the feeling itself. Brain feels like it’s burning and back is burning 5.30pm manage to have dinner 7.00pm take 2mg diazepam. 7.45pm world feels a bit less distorted I feel a bit more normal albeit still with anxiety. 9.00pm take 16mg sertraline 10.30pm restless legs are back so finding it hard to get to sleep 12.00am sleep fitfully in and out til 4am night sweats too 4.00am - 6.00am waking repeatedly with cortisol rushes and a deeper intense feeling of fear. Back is burning. 6.00am - 7.00am waking with a couple of strong Teeth clenches. Same as last night not until the morning. Head feels electric tingling.
  5. I would not say it's bad because you answered a question - you were wondering if updosing the antidepressant would be helpful and now you know it did not help. It can take 4 days for your nervous system to register a change, so it may be that you didn't give it time. However, since you recently came off the lithium supplement, you may want to stop making changes for awhile and see if your nervous system can become more stable. Please don't be mad at yourself, Vega.
  6. Thanks @Katy398 that’s really kind of you. Will look at it now
  7. Shep

    Morfs Sertraline Help

    It looks like you may have set up your signature when you first joined the forum in July of 2019, but you didn't start posting until recently. Please update your signature to reflect the changes you've made since June 2019. A direct link to your signature is here: Account Settings - Create or Update Your Signature Have you taken any Ativan since June 2019? Have you been consistently on 1 mg of Valium since June 2019? You're now on 7.5mg sertraline, so please update your signature to reflect this change.
  8. Hello Shep, Yes, I did it. 👎 I paniced, I know is bad... 😢
  9. Hi ciasim, How are you today?? I've read somewhere that the moderators are very very busy at the moment. Maybe private message one of them?? Cheers Jozeff
  10. Yeah, I'm very interested to hear how you are doing these days Cookson Cheez jozeff
  11. Arthur

    Arthur: looking for insight

    At what rate should I go up if I suffer no adverse affects..I need to try to stabilize alittle I order to have some semblance of life..
  12. Today
  13. Vega, do you mean you increased the escitalopram to 1.75 mg? And then reduced to 1.50 mg?
  14. Shep

    Lookinup's intro: please help

    Crossovers work best for people who aren't already destabilized, so it's likely not going to be a smooth move because you're dealing with a traumatized nervous system, not just interdose withdrawal issues. Since you're already on Klonopin, you're already on a long-acting drug. If you need to make a slight updose, that's fine. The rule with benzo updoses is to only updose to where you were within the past month AND only if you were more stable at that prior dose. Please update your signature to reflect the drugs and doses you're currently taking and when you made your earlier reductions. A direct link to your signature is here: Account Settings - Create or Update Your Signature
  15. The concept of PAWS originated from the research of long-term damage from addictive substances, such as alcohol and methamphetamines. Keep in mind Dr. Ashton, who first pioneered a slow withdrawal protocol from benzos, originally worked with opioid addiction, so she came from that perspective and background. I'm not exactly sure where the 18-month criteria originally came from, but it's been floating around the benzo forums for years (Baylissa is a benzo survivor who may have gotten it from the benzo forums). The Protracted Section of Benzo Buddies is open only to those who've been off benzos for at least 18 months (at least it was when I was active there a few years ago). A large part of the reason for this is because the posts in that section scare new members who are just starting their taper. So using the 18-month time frame is more of a way of separating the battle weary survivors who still haven't healed from the impressionable newbies. The benzo forums focus solely on benzos. However, the majority of people coming into SA are dealing with polypharmacy issues, so it's much harder to pin a timeframe on any of this. You may want to check out the discussion on what PAWS means here: Protracted Withdrawal or PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome) how long does it last? And a discussion of the time frame for withdrawal is here: Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?
  16. Frogie


    I’m doing ok, anxiety. But that’s to be expected. At least I only wake up with it then it goes away. I’m so glad you are doing well 😊 Take care, Frogie xx
  17. Gridley


    Thanks, Frogie. I hope you're doing well.
  18. Hi dear Guilietta! Yes I did this on my own : it is actually easier Alone. I fear the idea of seeing friends or family. Weird for me because I never suffered from social anxiety, but for now this is my new condition. Well no day looks like the other in WD : since my awful increased symptoms, I Said everyday this week "today was a bit easier than Yesterday". Today I can't : I cry with Spikes of despair, and anxiety doesnt give me relief. Not able To imagine going outsider today. We really have To learn To deal with frustration! When I read the others threads on SA, it seems that older people deal better with patience and acceptance, and that people younger like me struggle more with patience. Don't know if its true. I Feel exhausted of this constant state of anxiety. I'm glad and grateful for being able To sleep : at least I have some hours of peace! Even if I have To admit that even in my dreams i'm a girl in WD...! I also Feel exhausted To start Again the battle every morning : woke up anxious, try To push myself To do small things, cry, force myself To eat, waiting for the day To end... Living in the constant waiting for the day To end is pretty hard, and this is my life since 2nd September. I also Feel cut from the world, from others. And Feel like i'll never Feel Again a part of this world, or able To Feel close To a friend. And cut from the old me, sometimes I don't even know who I am or who I used To be. I Feel too traumatised by the dark places i've discovered. It is also a process in which I Feel extremely powerless : sometimes I Feel better, sometimes worse, and I can never relate it To something I would have done or decide. WD has is own logic. As Rhiannon told me, and I think it is very relevant, Windows and waves are just a métaphore. It doesnt Feel like I live Windows and waves, more ups and downs with variations in intensity. I sometimes Feel jealous of people who expérience Windows, certain that they are Windows because they Feel a lot better. And they seem To be sure that after every wave they Feel better : this certainly sounds lovely. To me it Feels more like a constant ordeal with oscillations. So last few days I felt like I was gradually coming back To my improved baseline. Hope it Will continue despite today's difficulties. My best option is To believe that all this is only temporary, so that is what i'm trying hard To do. I'm so happy whenever I read others progress : like when sunnysideup wrote that she had a day symptoms free, or Sass telling that he has a busy weekend. It gives me hope, it is so important that people share good times on SA ! This is not a complaining post, I just felt the need To write my feelings To people who won't think i'm crazy. Hugs To all dear survivors ❤
  19. Frogie


    That is great! I’m so happy for you😊 Take care, Frogie xx
  20. @Callie Thank you so much for this encouragement. Struggling at the moment due to winter. The only time I felt warm this week was in the sauna after 20 minutes.. A very hopeful message.
  21. Gridley


    @Guilietta @Erell Thanks!
  22. Dear @sunnysideup69 Isn't it wonderful to have a good day. Do a happy dance! 💃 It sounds like you are taking advantage/enjoying a good day. Do you sleep better if you ignore the screen so soon before sleeping? I can manage this only with the TV as long as I am wearing amber glasses - and have 15 minutes or so of a relaxing routine. Hugs Giulietta 🤗
  23. Guilietta

    Erell: struggling with paroxetine

    Coucou Erell, Happy Sunday! Enjoy the day. It looks like improvement since a few days ago and part of the normal cycle of recovery. Look at all the positives/accomplishments: Big news that you have less of these syptoms. I also feel this way much of the time lately (i.e., every day) - am a bit frustrated, but still moving forward, accepting these feelings and trying to look at them as 'normal' on a temporary basis. I accept that this is my life for a while - and it is OK. This is such a big change from the many days you couldn't step out of your flat - even though this was difficult. YOu learned you are safe to leave. Did you do this by yourself? Must run. Thinking of you. What great news to see improvement. Hugs, Giuilietta 💓
  24. drugged

    Ocular migraine

    I definitely need to have my eyes checked. I can probably find an ophthalmologist locally but I don't know about a neuro ophthalmologist.
  25. drugged

    drugged: multiple drugs

    Thanks for the encouragement Rhi. 10 mg is my daily limit of diazepam. I meant to say I would taper down from there. Sometimes I have a disconnect between my thoughts and my typing or speech. That said, I really am not looking to make any changes until after the 1st of the year.
  26. Good morning, 16 november Sleep : 12. pm to 5 am with several wakes. Very slight sleep. woke with legs aches which not during long time. 5.30 : very hard nausea, ball in stomach. Can't sleep anymore. Despair, suicidal ideas: first time. spine, neck, back bad sensations. 6.40 : get up because of nausea : as Every morning. Nausea and ball in stomach horrible. Arms burnings a lot. Spine, back, neck too. Sensation of electricty in head slight.Spasmes in muscle : back and arms.Despair : 8 9. am : prazepam 4,75 mg 11.am : fog in Brain and sligth dépersonalisation, feel like my brain was anesthesied until 3 pm.Back , neck, very contracted. Despair reduce : 6 Noon : escitalopram 1,50 mg. 1. pm : eat bread and banana. 1.30 : go to lie on : a little less physical symptoms 3. pm : prazepam 4,75 mg. 5. pm : a lot of aches and bad sensations to back, spine, neck, head....Horrible. Nausea.ball in stomach. 7.30 eat 8.15 pm : Go to rest. Back and neck always very contracted. Zap in brain, nausea. 9. pm : prazepam 4,75 mg : physical symptôms horrible. Despair 11 pm : L-tryptophan 200 mg. Aches reduce a little : good sleep of 6 h- 6.30 h. ***** nausea : a lot. Equilibrium problems : not a lot visual problems : no Bruxism : 5 sensibility to light and noises : reduce difficulties for speech : a little. spasm in stomach Physical symptôms in back, neck,head umbearable. Hard nausea, ball in stomach. Hard aches in arms like electricity and tingling. I were not particulary anxious... --> Since 15 days I can say that a lot of symptôms has reduced. However I feel me worse : Aches, contractions, tingling, electricity, burnings in back, spine, neck, head and arms are harder and harder. It become extremely violent like an agony. I think it is the reason of my despair. I have thèse symptômes since more of 2 months and they are gradualy harder and harder. Nausea, ball in spasm in stomach are very hard too, my stomach is burning : it increase 3 last day. Fog in Brain is difficult. (I know aches, and I often had sévère aches in my life : endometriosis, multiples orthopedic surgereries, arthrosis, rare illness on a nerv of my left foot, irritable bowel, hard gastritis, récurrent cystitis...) The aches I have now are over all I have already had.= hell. Vega.
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