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  2. Thank you for all your help. In the last few days feeling so unwell to the point where I can't even stand up anymore. Obviously I have my unknown fatigue condition and then the antidepressant withdrawal symptoms on top. Hard to know which symptoms are which now! I'm still taking the 5 htp but worried this could be making everything worse. I've had bad reaction in the past just to supplements. Really need to know if I should just stop the 5 htp instead of tapering incase I'm actually having a bad reaction to them. Only been taking them a month. Would you still taper with a drug/supplement that you are/might be having an adverse reaction too?? If I taper at the pace like some people do with 5 htp it means I'll still have to take them for another month or so which feels way too long if its causing these symptoms. I can't even move and struggling to even make food etc. Thank you for any help. Much appreciated
  3. I didn’t want to increase my dose. I wanted to decrease. There have been times like last night where after I took it (it’s suppose to make you drowsy) I felt more awake. Last night was terrible. Maybe it’s my mind at work. It’s been recommended to get out of bed st the same time every day, but when I’m getting such little rest like this I just can’t seem to. Body is in too much discomfort. I’m trying so hard, this is so hard. I’m trying to survive
  4. Crowman88

    Australia members, please check in here

    Hi Katy, You said you were from Melbourne? I'm from Adelaide, but there IS a service in your state called Reconnexion. It is in Malvern East, and they have knowledgable people with benzo dependency experience, as well as experience with anxiety issues and depression. They offer phone, email and personal counselling. It may help some Australian members. Reconnexion http://www.reconnexion.org.au Ph: 1300 273 266 Thanks, Dave (Crowman88).
  5. Today
  6. Henryk12

    Henryk12: off risperidone

    About 2half weeks off Had a nerve pain tingling and burning sensation crawling sensations on my skin Face spasm twitches crying spell sducidal thoughts tightened neck /face head tarchycardiac irregular blood pressure runny nose I’m sorry just don’t know how to express anything right now
  7. Henryk12

    Henryk12: off risperidone

    Thank you alto , wasn’t sure I got a response cause I’m still learning how to function on the site . My progress is rapid as I can tell to the stories have read on here . My libido is back , my muscles seems going on and off which is strange and I lost them on my very first those on risperidone. It was all of a sudden my body dropped and my body structure was whacked though I didn’t know it was due to risperidone and the anxieties are minimal , tremors reduced . Got used to the pains , the Brian zaps has shakes reduces but worried about the head shake. Flu symptoms almost gone . Subsided after 3 days of blue vervain and neck tighten reduced but the my head tics or shakes I don’t know . Seem like a dystonia reaction and don’t really know how long for me . I was on the drug just for 3 months on and off 2 mg tops . I sense my body is trying to reorganize but not really sure anymore and I need ask if Canabis could help cause I don’t want to take any medication and I’m done taking drugs whatsoever till my last breath on earth . This is not fair. All I wanna do is make some good music and make my mama happy cause she had suffered a lot . I will clock 30 by dec . Can’t believe is gonna be in agony and disbelief. 2019 wasn’t a good year for me at all but I’m wiser and stronger maybe but I’m just fed up with life and those around me can not even see my sufferings . They sometimes make jest of me cause they do not know what I’m really going through. Even fam thinks I’m being making lots of things up . I’m messed up but sometimes ; Pain sometimes could be a lesson . Don’t be lessened. Every sorrow as an ending keep withstanding Understand this and be hopeful cause; Every Phoenix rise from its ashes. A hundred years of pain would end one day Times as no limit ; The roads full of patches Weakness will thread on you if you can withstand it ONLY THE STRONGEST CAN RELATE We All Can Deny It Life is all Mazes . Find the route and Escape the lapses 💪🏾🤴🏾✌🏽🐐⚡️🧠 keep encouraging my brain . Hope my brain won’t give up on me . It’s all I rely on I hope this dark days won’t cloud my life forever thanks 🙏🏽 Just too late before I found here. TOO LATE TO GO BACK NOW
  8. Hi @Frenchgirl, Thank you. MP quand tu veux. Pas de souci. Bisous Vega. Hi @Sassenach After reading what Altostrata Sayed me : that I took prazepam very shortly after escitalopram, I took this morning : 8.30 am escitalopram and 9.30 am prazepam. Have a good day. Vega
  9. Sassenach

    Cloudskishawna: 5 weeks on Remeron / mirtazapine

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdN1pnEaJs0&t=27s White noise to help mask ear worms. Catch you later Sass
  10. @Longestroadhome : thank you for taking the time To stop by here ! I'm back in a violent wave Today, and it helps To read your sweet words. I may have experienced my most violent Spike of despair this morning. I have To remind it Will pass. Thank you ❤
  11. Gaebbi

    Gaebbi: reinstatement gone wrong?

    Oh and there were 2 reasons why I quit the olanzapine. - I was hungry all day, eating about 4000-5000 calories every day. - I didn‘t want to get the next dependence but in the end it‘s better than suicide..
  12. Gaebbi

    Gaebbi: reinstatement gone wrong?

    Thank you very much. It‘s ok to not take Quetiapine anymore. The olanzapine is enough to keep me from suicide. But only taking fluoxetine without the help from olanzapine is really not possible for me, and I think you can understand that. Yesterday I was only lying in bed the whole day and starring at the wall. Couldn‘t do anything. That‘s not possible for me to stand any longer, that‘s why I really need to go on taking the olanzapine, even if I will get the next dependence. Everything is better than suicide. I just hope to gain stability in a few months..
  13. 18/10 8.00am - got up had shower, feel overhwelming dread in stomach 9.00am - took 2mg diazepam, try and do some work emails 10.00am - put washing on, so much dread its constant. I think of anything and its there 11.30am - lie down, I cant sleep, old dreams and memories one after another with surge in anxiety 12.30pm - I despair, I feel so trapped, things are getting worse. I talk to my husband about how I feel 2.00pm - take 1mg diazepam, dread is just relentless, no respite 3.00pm - lie down, I start to fall asleep and its the only relief I feel 4.00pm - wake up but reality hits me and I feel worse, have epsom salt bath, take 2mg vortioxetine 5.00pm - I feel worse, like I am in a parallel universe, the dread is overwhelming, I notice more little electric shocks on my stomach 6.00pm - eat something 7.00pm - take 2mg diazepam, it doesnt give any relief 8.00pm - take 16mg sertraline, start to feel very drowsy 10.00pm - fall off to sleep but woken with a nightmare and burning, small amount of restless legs 12.00am - fall off to sleep again but woken with strong pain in my eyeball 3.00am - woken by bad teeth clenching, dread and panic starts again 4.00am - 6.00am - just in and out of dreams and memories and dread, not really sleeping Today was the worst day, I tried every coping mechanism I have but it was too strong for me. @AltostrataAm I too late for an updose in sertraline now? I can only relate the worsening to 2 things over the last few months - reducing sertraline below 25mg which is when I had problems on my first withdrawal last year or the vortioxetine - so I feel like my only hope is to change one of these but I know changes are destabilising however I am so desperate and I have no evidence of stabilisation only deterioration. I can take 2.25mg vortioxetine today but part of me feels like I am just going backwards
  14. lainfalco

    lainfalco Need help

    Can’t express my self help
  15. i have stop all supplement including iron. too much digestive problem, i eat only modulen ibd for the moment. i have a fungal infection on my tongue. i will search and inform myself on that side for the moment.
  16. lainfalco

    lainfalco Need help

    I made the liquid just by dissolving the pill in water and then put one ml in the jering can’t sleep can’t going to the toilet to evacuate. Noise in my years sweeting despersonalization. Intorable . Can’t do anything. Heat . Pain in all of my body. Music in my head can’t write. Desrealization anhedonia . Empty emotions. Probably more than a withdrawal? Going crazy bad memory no remembers . Burning skin , suicidal but i don’t want to die . Woke up with panic attacks. Zombie. Can’t talk. Feel no connection to my body. More than a withdrawal? Feel like dying. Ansiety . Smoking cigarettes. Confused want to scream but i can’t. No sleeping or just don’t know if I’m a awake or sleep my head changed physically. Delayed pupils vomiting and the list goes on
  17. emilie

    Solutions for Candida and other Fungal Infections

    thanks good video.
  18. Venkat

    Venkat tapering olanzepine

    Some urgent help please. My milligram digital scale shows a reading of 0.001gram as the minimum. Is it possible to measure 4.5milligrams on it? Somebody, please reply urgently. Thanks Regards, venkat
  19. can I use biotin and finisteride medication with effexor as I am treating for my hair loss also? . please help.
  20. clarknova

    Where am I?

    Thank you, Katy, for your comforting words. You're right, my circumstances are stressors for everyone, and my CNS is not in a good place to deal with it. What was I thinking? Getting a new place and a new job? Insane. I'm even getting a new doctor, just to add to the load. I should have stuck with my old ignorant one for the time being. It's hard when you think you're doing pretty well and allow changes to happen. Then withdrawal comes in and slaps you in the face. I'm trying to take it easy. Seeing friends helps a lot, especially the ones I can talk to about this. But I am single, and sometimes I get horribly lonely. I have a cat, which helps a lot. Autumn is pretty harsh here in Oslo, darkness and constant rain. I'm thinking I should get a therapy lamp. Thank you again, Katy. How are you doing?
  21. Hey D - It sounds like you are in a situation where you can "manage" your stuff by increasing doses. (info from PM) It's a trap, and an infinite one - because you increase and increase and increase, and then - when the drugs stop working (or you can't go any higher) you're stuffed. You have been bouncing around trying drugs all year. The drugs you tried in July and August - are now kicking your arse. That's how withdrawal works - what you did 3 months ago (or even up to 18 months ago) can be affecting you now. What would serve you best is stability. Stop trying new formulas. Stay on the same dose for 3-6 months. Then, you will be able to taper off the mirt. insomnia is common, common, common with these drugs. Instead of fighting insomnia, learn to "do your best" on "what you get." It's a level of acceptance that will stop your cortisol from firing so hard (which is hard on sleep). Important Topics about Symptoms Including Sleep Problems http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/53-sleep-problems-that-awful-withdrawal-insomnia/ http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/348-what-is-the-sleep-cycle/ http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6122-guided-meditations-calming-videos-sleep-hypnosis/ So - we have had people in here in withdrawal who never slept for more than an hour at a time, living on catnaps - for up to 2 years. Your anxiety about your sleep is as hard on you (or even harder) than the lack of sleep itself. The human body is an amazing thing - and - as you stabilise and heal, your sleep will improve. You will find little hacks (like sleep hygiene, for example) that help. None of it *fixes* the chemical problems that the drugs have caused - but paying attention to your body and what helps - is the best solution. One of the things I do for my sleep, is to take a 10 minute walk in the sun as soon as I get up. This resets the melatonin, and, in my region, also helps with vitamin D. Naturally, without supplements. I have found that this sun walk is so vital to my mood, that only extreme weather will keep me from it. i hope you see the sun today.
  22. rola

    rola weaning deroxat

    @brassmonkey Hi I am very happy for you and you give me hope I would have liked to read your story I think I take it wrong because I can not find Thank you again for your support have a good day😊
  23. Good morning. Diary Friday 18 October / day 24 on 10mg Paroxetine 7am : woke up anxious (5) 8am : 10mgParoxetine + 1 fish oil capsule 8.30am : lot of anxious intrusive thoughts ( what if I poop out in next days ? Maybe I'll never Feel normal again?) 9am : quick Spike of despair (7) with cries 10am : fear of the future, hard To change the Channel. Tinnitus. 12 : eat a salmon sandwich. anxiety (6) / despair (4) / restlessness (4) 1pm : quick Spike of despair (7), hard To Feel hope. 3pm : Tinnitus. Despair (4) / restlessness (5) / anxiety (6). I décide To try To go out : went To the organic grocery, managed To stay 10minutes. Then went To the sea : did'nt manage To enjoy it, too anxious. 4.30pm : anxiety (6) / despair (4) / restlessness (6) 6pm : despair (4) / restlessness (5)/ anxiety (6) 8pm : bedtime: anxiety (6) / despair (6) / restlessness (5) 10pm : anxiety (5) / despair (4) / restlessness (5). Lights off at 11pm. This night : I fell asleep around 11.30pm. Woke up anxious at 6.30am then slight anxious sleep until 8am. I'm so grateful for these long nights and not waking up every hours! ---》 Hard To tell if yesterday was a window: the day was easier in terms of despair, but anxiety was présent and didn't decrease in thé day...
  24. Katy398

    Where am I?

    Hi @clarknova 1 year off well done. I’m like you FT/CT 10 months. Hang on in there. Remember waves are times of healing and the fact that you do get some relief is wonderful. Yes it’s familiar and very common. For me stressors bring on massive waves. Not being able to manage stress is so typical of withdrawal. You are going through two of the most generic stressful, life events, moving and new job. Adding withdrawal to this must be contributing to your big wave. All I can say is hang on in there, be as kind and as gentle on yourself as you possibly can. If there is anyone who can help you, reach out. What you’re going through is a challenge for anyone, let alone someone in the midst of withdrawal. Remember that you are one year in on your healing journey. Take care thinking of you Kx
  25. Katy398

    HopeforHealing - Seeking Reinstatement Advice

    Hi @HopeforHealing I do not feel qualified to answer any of your questions about supplements or reinstating. My decision not to reinstate was my own decision and was purely because I didn’t want to take the risk. I will never know if it was the right decision. I do know there are some folk on here who reinstate beautifully and others who didn’t. I will say that walking has helped me tremendously. It gives me a good 2 hours respite from my anxiety which is so valuable. Anxiety plagues me for the rest of my waking hours. It was really tough at the beginning but I was so desperate that I forced myself and now it is a habit along with mindfulness. I do like headspace mindfulness, purely because it logs continuous usage. For me it was worth the money because, like you my apathy lack of motivation are hard to overcome. Hang on in there @HopeforHealingwhat ever decision you make SA will support you. take care Kx
  26. clarknova

    Where am I?

    I'm not doing well, and I am trying to get a feel for where I am in the scheme of withdrawal. My mind keeps saying I'm falling back into depression and I should get back on medication. I am a year out after a fast taper (2 months from 10 mg Cipralex to 0 mg). After 6 months I had a wave of extreme muscle pain all throughout my body. After 2 months it passed and I was okay for 3 months. Then, after stress at work, I had a month of muscle pain again. It passed, but it turned into what I'm going through now... Extreme depression, extreme anxiety, extreme sadness, then relief. These cycles are somewhat random, but each last around 5-6 hours. This has been going on for about two weeks and I'm praying it's a wave and will pass, but the last few days it seems to be getting worse. I'm terrified of ending up back where I was 4 years ago - not working and living with my mom. Paradoxically my gut is doing better than in a long time (Is my body sending my reduced reservoir of serotonin to my gut instead of my brain?), and I'm actually sleeping pretty well. This is all amplified, I'm guessing, by the fact that I just moved apartments and I am starting a new job in two weeks. I feel everything is in total limbo and I'm reaching out desperately for some sort of safe footing. I'm desperate to hear someone say this is all familiar territory and even some tiny educated guess about how long this wave will last (I know, I know, it's different for everyone...). Any input is appreciated.
  27. Hi @HopeforHealing Thank you so much for checking in on me, so kind. I’m still in the thick of it. I’d like to find some talking therapy but finances are tight! How are things with you CT is tough. Did you decide not to reinstate as well? what are your challenges at the moment? I constantly say to myself that others have healed from this and that our turn will come as well. This forum can be such a support. When ever I get a message it seems to lift me and give me renewed hope. Take care @HopeforHealingkeep in touch Kx
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