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  2. Gridley

    SufferingCelexa: Hopelessness from Celexa

    I would hold another month and let's see then. A good long hold is very healing to the system. It does but it takes time.
  3. Cigale

    Cigale: reinstating help

    Funny how I usually only come here to write an update when I am in a wave. But today is not great so far. I did get six hours of sleep, which is good. But woke with dread and buzzing anxious head. Managed to make and eat a breakfast of eggs and toast. Went back to bed and tried reading but couldn't concentrate. Then just went with listening to my dog Stella snore, always a good thing. Need to try and eat some lunch. What makes all waves hard for me is that they logically follow on some medium okay days. Yes, I think I had a window on Friday, July 3! For the first time in over a year, I woke up without dread. The day was pretty easy and calm with a little, sunny bike ride, nap (30-minutes) for the first time in months, and good meals. Saturday and Sunday were medium days with nagging anxiety and baby cortisol surges throughout the day. I feel like I have learned to tolerate those sorts of days. And then wham, today, I am down and out. When I get this down I find it hard to reach for and use my tools. But this is when I have to be kinder and more accepting of my situation. Along with acceptance, acknowledge and float, I need to practice self-compassion. And like @Gridley wrote here so many weeks ago, I need to savor my windows. Healing is happening.
  4. Bonjour @Erell! I am thinking of you and also sending hugs 🤗 🤗! You are doing all the right things to take care of yourself right now, and I am glad you have your parents by your side. And you remind me to look around and feed my spirit with beauty. Bisous!
  5. If you are unsure it would be better to make a smaller reduction to start. This way you won't be adding additional stress worrying about whether 10% is too much.
  6. This is such great news @sunnysideup69! You are doing such a good job pacing yourself through this long journey. I could use some of your patience, that is for sure. 😉 I so want to help! So first I am sending you a hug 🤗! And I am also sending you a spreadsheet for tracking your eventual taper. You may have already seen it from SA member Jozeff, or you might have your own system. I would check its accuracy though since I think it shows a longer taper than Brassmonkey outlines. Hope your week continues to be sunny! Sunny_Taperspreadsheet.xls
  7. Hi everyone, hope all are well Here is my update: So the last time I wrote I had been suffering WD waves because of changing brand of mirtazapine...I switched back to the original brand and eventually I did stabilise and felt a lot better consistently...but was a real shock to be so destabilised by simply a brand switch but now I know NEVER to switch brands and that is great knowledge to have! Since then I have had quite a bit of time off work but the funny thing is I have felt more exhausted because of the time off...probably because of slowing down. Recently I have been feeling quite poorly with blocked sinuses and low energy and only today have I started to feel a bit more energised and happier. I thought it was all down to maybe a cold but I can see that I have also been in another WD wave as my tinnitus has been really strong and mood quite low...I thought I would be totally stable by now having been on 15mg for 5 months but clearly waves can still happen!...what do others think about this? Good news is I can feel some positivity returning today which is welcome My plan is to wait until beginning on August and then, assuming I'm feeling pretty good, I'm going to start the gradual switch to liquid mirtazapine using the method Gridley suggested...this will mean I will be on liquid fully towards end of August and can then spend a few weeks stabilising before doing my first reduction. I really pray that my body takes to the liquid as I have heard of some who could not tolerate it. I am currently undecided as to whether to start with a 10% reduction for min 4 weeks or start with a 5% reduction and see if I get any WD from that. I know it's my choice but any thought around this? I'm excited to get going again and, although I do not want to rush anything, it'll feel good to know that I am going down once again In meantime I am going to move my fortnightly therapy to weekly and also in the process of looking for a new job Be good to hear from any of you lovely people out there Love Malbec in Bristol
  8. Today
  9. Thank you Ridley, I will start on the same. I also did check the link on hypnic jerks. There were a few items in there that can help and will try those. I just hope i am able to get rid of these as these are my only source of anxiety i feel v hopeless. its either these or the loud bangs i sometimes hear when i try and sleep. Are they brain zaps? It can be a sound/bang or a music or like a button clicking enough for me to wake up. What else can i do Please advise
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  11. How do i add stuff to my drug history? I don't know where to click lol
  12. Okay ChessieCat I'm pretty sure i remember the years and rough times. Ill update it now.
  13. I can relate to sleeping better when having a really bad day. I've experienced the same thing. I had bad dreams as usual last night but i woke with very minor palpitations and anxiety that eased almost immediatley, which feels amazing. Feel like sleeping all day when i know im not going to wake up terrified. I'm going to take it easy and just relax all day. I have a habit of fearing the symptoms before they come up. I bet its common to do that.
  14. trenace

    DataGuy: Postwithdrawal Odyssey

    It really sounds like you're on the mend despite a few remaining symptoms. I'm sure you'll get there soon and u seem to know exactly what you're doing too. Its definitley a good idea with the supplements too i really don't think your body needs them unless you have a deficiency or something. Hope you have a good day man 😊
  15. Hi Puglet, Sorry to hear you are not doing so well. Do you know what triggered the situation 8 weeks ago ? Was there some stess or direct situation that may have caused you to go into a wave ? I think the first thing that may help you is that you need to except where you are today. I know that may sound strange to say except being ill but this will help you i think. When i dont except my illness and symptoms i have then i become ill more. Maybe if you can take it a day at time and focus on getting up and trying to do the best you can within the symptoms you have and then at end of the day before you go to bed writing 10 positive things about the day you have had in diary. See if over period of week your overall mood changes by doing this. If this is as good as you have right now then the option is to either battle against or except. I am yet to get off the tablets i have been reducing for over 6.5 years now and still have terrible effects on or off this drug so i know how hard it can be. There are days when i cry because i feel so lost and like i am never going to be well and then there are odd moments where i feel like i should do. Always here to talk if need
  16. Hanna72

    ☼ Hanna72: I will be free

    Yes @Longroadhome 💪 Hugs to you💖
  17. Longroadhome

    ☼ Hanna72: I will be free

    I am also back in a wave at the moment and Like you say Erell it is discouraging We just have to work through the waves and know that recovery awaits us all take care both you are in my thoughts we are Paxil survivors !
  18. Hanna72

    ☼ Hanna72: I will be free

    Thank you so much for your kind words🙏 I am not stronger I feel then any of you in here. I did miss a few days off of work, while switching to Prozac. You do what you have to to survive, anger pushed me, the anger towards the « mentally ill » labelling I have had on my back for 20 years, anger towards psychiatrists, and big pharma. You will also survive Erell, we all will, never stop believing in that. Sometimes it’s the only thing I held on to, still do Lets go 💪
  19. Erell

    ☼ Hanna72: I will be free

    Hello Yes, Brassmonkey essay is a huge work and is very relevant to help understand WD ! I understand : it is very difficult to accept the fact healing is not linear. We are easily discouraged when we fall back into a wave after feeling better. But the fact that you had nice windows show that you are on the right path...☀️ Must confess i admire you for being able to work while riding this bumpy road ! You are so strong dear ! I know you'll be ok ❤
  20. Hanna72

    ☼ Hanna72: I will be free

    Hi @Erell I am ok, rocking back and forward between waves and windows. Thanks for asking I just read brass monkeys essay yesterday, a good informative read for me. Acceptance is what stood out for me, something I have been struggling with. When I am in a window it almost feels like a high for me, and then bam back in a wave I feel like I am at square one. How are you doing? Hugs to you💖
  21. darktimes

    darktimes: adverse reactions

    Hi alto i was on here a few years back saying i had adverse reaction tbh i think at the time i was sufferring with bad anxiety and then doctor put me on 3 different ssri s wich caused me to have a nervous breakdown and spirralled into severe anxiety state . About 3 years ago i started to take 1mg of xanax a day wich were a great help they really relaxed my nerves and my dp . Stayed on them for about 2 years then doctor put me on vallium to taper off . Im just on 2mg of valium now in morning . I tried luvox again because they worked great for me years ago . Lookin back to a few weeks ago i think i was doing ok on 100mg i should have never dropped 50mg so fast its left me feeling terrible again . Is there any easy way to go back up and stabalize ?
  22. ChessieCat

    Melatonin for sleep

    I think you've answered the question yourself.
  23. DataGuy

    DataGuy: Postwithdrawal Odyssey

    Thanks Trenace. I find I am still vulnerable to stress and overwork, but I can maintain my sleep by engaging in conscientious self-care, which for me is mainly exercise (and sometimes deep breathing or guided meditation). I usually walk at least a couple hours per day and will run or workout at the gym 3 or 4 times a week. I have gained about 40lbs of since my lowest weight in withdrawal. I will still have bad periods with the insomnia, but they are becoming less frequent. I also had pretty bad stomach problems and had lost a lot of weight (actually my digestive system didn't seem to work at all in acute withdrawal), but those are slowly improving. One of my worst symptoms is gastritis, which seems to be exacerbated by carbohydrates. Not really sure why, but I have a couple hypotheses that I don't think I'll ever be able to test. Other symptoms include some intermittent sensitivity to light and sound, a strange chemical anxiety that comes and goes, some difficulty concentrating or sitting still, difficulty with goal-related tasks (I have a 'to do list' that just keeps growing), sensitivity to stress, some intermittent cog fog, and a persistent allergy to doctors and hospitals I also had a sensitivity to drugs and supplements and had quite a few bad reactions, but haven't taken any for a couple years. My goal is to never take another one in my life, since I'm taking this as a sign I reached my quota.
  24. Erell

    ☼ Hanna72: I will be free

    Hello dear Hanna, How are you doing these days? Take care ☀️
  25. Chessie, You really sound like an amazing woman ! I like your calm posts : even if I know you are suffering a lot, reading your strenght is a true inspiration. I'm with you on this one 😉 I also like listening to smooth podcasts while doing puzzles. It can really help to distract from too intense symptoms. Take care ☀️
  26. That is great to hear, Trenace. In my acute withdrawal I would often feel so bad I thought there was no way I could get to sleep. But usually it just seemed to pass away for no discernible reason. Sometimes, I have noticed that if I have a particularly bad day, I will actually sleep better (I assume because I'm more tired). So it is a good to know that often these panic / anxiety / CNS states simply disappear on their own. That can be very helpful when dealing with them. Glad to hear you had a good day. Many more ahead!
  27. sunnysideup69

    Erell: struggling with paroxetine

    @Erell, hello, dropping by to give you a hug. I also find it's quite tricky, the whole depatienting process....almost every time I have a dip, I worry about whether it's my 'underlying condition coming back.' I think that has been hammered into my head by various GPs for so long that it's a hard thought to shake. Just very grateful to have found this place ❤️
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