Ippia: My story

[Ippia]

Hello everyone
this is my first post on SA, although I read here since 2015. I’m a 37 old male from Italy, so forgive me for my poor English. I wish to express my gratitude for Alto and for the entire staff of this community for their efforts to give support to all the members.
Briefly my story. I think I have used AD (escitalopram 10mg) in the worst way that can be used, that is go on it on and off. That is, I usually took AD for, say 9 months and then, after feeling good, quit them cold turkey. After a period of 3-4 months without AD inevitably unpleasant symptoms follows. This pattern went on like this for many times, and I think I have used them for a cumulative time of 6-7 years in a total time of 15 hears. Finally, in November 2013 I learned the lesson and I began to suspect a withdraw problem. Last month I celebrated 4 years since my last pill.
Here a list of some symptoms I have had in this years:

Insomnia
brain fog
brain zaps (only for few days after quitting)
muscle pains
stuffy nose, specially upon awakening
loss of interests
frequent urination
IBS like syndrome
food sensitivity

 

but the list can continue.
The pattern of symptoms is very well know here: windows and waves and not all the symptoms in the same period.

All I can say is that in this years my suffering has been deep and painful. I can say too, without exaggeration, that this was the most profound experience of my life. I even can say that I am grateful to this syndrome because I consider me now a better person.
I think I’m 80% recovered and the worst symptoms like insomnia have gone away. But I think also that are necessary another couple of years to fully come back. But I know this will be a cake walk compared to what I left behind.

It is very difficult for me to tell in English all the aspects of my story but I hope I have given a taste of it.

After introducing myself I want to ask a question. I’m considering to take a supplement for hair loss (I think it’s not correlated to withdraw syndrome). It contains saw palmetto (serenoa repens) and nettle root. Now, I’m a little concerned about the first one because, reading various stories on the web, it seems to acts as finasteride on 5-AR receptors and, as you can imagine, I don’t want to mess my up again. Now I don’t now if there is a link between the receptors I have messed up with AD use and those implicated with 5-AR.
So my question is: it can be safe to take a small amount of serenoa repens (320 mg)? Is there anyone who has tried it?

I thanks everybody for reading my story and for all those can give me suggestion about saw palmetto.

I whish healing for everyone.
 

(for moderators: I don’t know if this is the right place to post)

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Ippia.

 

You have had those symptoms for 4 years?

 

Going on and off drugs can make your nervous system very sensitive to other drugs, supplements, and even foods. It's good to hear you have recovered about 80%. You may need to do some work to move your recovery forward.

 

First, to work on sleep. What is your sleep pattern? See

 

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing cortisol spikes

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful  Melatonin in particular can be helpful taken at nightfall -- then turn off the lights.

 

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime

 

White noise devices for sleep

 

Light therapy for sleep problems

 

I don't know anything about saw palmetto or curing hair loss. We have seen that many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements,

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

You may have acquired food sensitivities, which have caused your gut problems. An exclusion diet might help

 

Elimination or exclusion diets for reactions to food (food intolerance)

 

[Ippia]

Thanks for the reply, Alto.
You must know that this site and your dedication have been very precious in these years for me, although I have never written in this time.
I remember reading here from someone (perhaps you?) something like this: this syndrome makes us similar to zen warriors because we must develop patience and perseverance. So true. This sentence has been a guiding light throughout this years.
So yes, I have followed many tips I have read here, from doing physical activities, eating well, and using some supplements.
I’m currently use magnesium, omega 3 and vitamin c.
I want to clarify that now I have only few manageable  symptoms. But I must also say that times to times small waves occurs, even if are shorter and less intense.
I still improving, I know that, but the healing process is not complete.
Turning back to my question about saw palmetto, I only want to know if it safe to take it.
I try to ask my question on the Symptoms and self-care section. 
Thanks again.

[Altostrata]

Thank you, Ippia. Very happy to hear you're doing better.

 

I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[Gridley]

Ippia,

 

"Patience and perseverance" -- yes, you have it!  Thank you.

[ultimatumprisoncell]

Just an update for now. Day 2 (3?I'm so confused right now) of breaking down and taking 5mg of Prozac. I feel asleep finally around 5am this morning or so... I think. I slept pretty well despite my usual horrible nightmares, until around noon. I had a missed call from the sheriff's department on my phone around 7am which makes me wonder if I was screaming in my sleep again... Will need to set up signs activated recorder app on myself again I guess.

The first thing I noticed getting up was the HORRIBLE anxiety/panic coursing through me. Worse than yesterday. I used to get this pretty much daily for years while on Paxil. 

Besides the anxiety I am still unable to think clearly. I'm nauseated and have no appetite. I have palpitations and I'm very shaky. I know it's not my blood sugar, as I have forced down some Gatorade and a protein shake.

And I still just feel so hopeless.

When can I have my "life" back?

[ultimatumprisoncell]

My apologies Ippia, 

I thought I was on my post. Please feel free to disregard and delete (if you can) my prior post.

 

UPC

[Ippia]

Many thanks for the feedbacks. Unfortunately writhing in English is a big limitation for me and I can’t express myself at the best. Many thanks for the sun, Alto. It is very encouraging for me. Actually I consider myself a small “veteran”, and I want to say that this site has become a second family in these years. As everyone know here it’s so hard to explain to the others, family and friends, what's going on, and finding empathy it’s only possible comparing oneself with those who are going through the same thing. 

I want to share below some thoughts and experience (in random order, and some very well known) that I consider of some interest:

 

1-Rubik cube process: I firmly confirm this kind of pattern (a genius who had find this example!). I have seen by now a wide range of symptoms, not present all together, appearing, disappearing, turning in a chameleonic way one into each other, and so on. 

2- Congestion: link between dopamine and lymphatic system? I don’t know if it has already been discussed, but there may be a connection. I say this because I have had bad puffy and sunken eyes (not still completely gone, but improved), probably due to a nasal congestion, and in turns it can be due to a stagnant and not proper functioning of the lymphatic system. Somewhere I read dopamine and lymphatic system are linked. But another dowel of the puzzle can be hydration. To alleviating congestion I have to drink ton of waters. This gave me some relief. So I suspect an hidden link (in some order) between dopamine system-lymphatic system-hydration status.

 

3- The final step: I guess (at least in my case) that the so called higher functions of the central nervous system is possibly the last to heal. I mean here especially brain fog that seems to me particularly hard to defeat despite many progress. Brain fog for me means a kind of mental patina interposed between me and the reality. Although it’s worth to say that the intensity of this symptom highly fluctuates during the day: from a bad peak at the first afternoon to almost normal functioning in the evening.

 

4- Nicotine: when I quit smoking some months ago (after 15 years of heavy dependence) I have slept as never before. I mean 8-9 straight hours for almost a week. I knew it would be an hazard to quit during the withdraw but I wanted to do anyway. Some explanation for this weird phenomenon?

 

5- Insomnia: keep going, the big bad boy can be defeated over time. And this becomes a boost in the healing process. 

 

 

[LexAnger]

Hi ippia, just want to thank you for sharing your success story to help others who are still on the road!

 

wish you fast and full recovery soon!

 

 

 

 

[Ippia]

Thanks Lex!