Signmaker: introduction

[signmaker]

Hello,

 

My story starts on New Year's Day 2021.  I contracted covid, which did not affect my lungs.  At the time I thought it was simply a respiratory thing.  I suppose we continue to learn more about covid.

 

I was having nausea, insomnia, brain fog, brutal fatigue.  In February, I developed extreme OCD symptoms with my primary obsession being self harm and harming others.  Due to a panic attack, I found myself at my GP who prescribed 10mg Lexapro.

 

Found relief after about 8 weeks, but the symptoms came back and was increased to 15mg.  Felt really good for awhile, but I wanted to come off after about a year. 

 

So I started a taper in spring of 2022.  After about 4-6 weeks at 10mg Lexapro, I went to 5mg.  After another 4-6 weeks, I went to 0mg Lexapro.

 

First week was fine, then it was bad.  My mind felt like a TV when you can't tune a channel in...the snow picture and the sound.  But I powered through with a little xanax occasionally.

 

Now I am 9 weeks post 0mg and today I am having some depression.  Little to no anxiety, little to no OCD symptoms.  But I have the occasional brain zaps, bad headaches, dizziness.  I have outbursts of anger but really try to keep them under control.

 

I have started CrossFit (4 weeks ago).  Had to take a round of prednisone for bad poison ivy.  Just finished that taper down about a week ago.

 

Haven't taken any xanax for probably 6 weeks.

 

I joined this forum just to learn and for the support.  I am fairly certain my family members, while extremely supportive, just cannot understand the inner struggle.

 

 

[signmaker]

How long does it take for these posts to get approved?  Did I do something wrong?

[Onmyway]

Hi @signmaker, 

sorry you are still suffering from withdrawal symptoms. These can take quite a while. Your original symptoms, while scary would have probably resolved by themselves at the time, but you are right, we know much more about Covid now than we did then. Hindsight doesn't help. 

 

One thing you can do is try to reinstate a small dose of escitalopram - 0.25mg or so. We find that very small doses can relieve the worst symptoms. You will then need to taper that very slowly at no more than 10% of the previous dose - possibly for a year or more. This far out reinstatement may or may not work but if it doesn't we can go back down. You can also choose to get through the symptoms yourself. 

Here is some more info on reinstating. 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

Sorry it took a while to approve your post. We are volunteers who are often also still in withdrawal and want to give each new member proper advice and guidance. 

 

Glad you found your way to us and hope we can help you feel better. 
OMW

[signmaker]

Thanks for the response!  And thanks for your willingness to help others with this journey.

 

At this time, I am now 11 weeks post final dose.  It has been a tough road, but I'm confident I can overcome.  At this point, I am going to stick with 0mg since I have done the hard work of getting through the first 11 weeks.

 

Of course I have the waves and windows as you all describe.  And I'm trying to really appreciate the windows more.  It's easy to not be aware of the good times and only focus on the bad times.  But if I'm honest, I have had long stretches of time that have been good.  I think it's a trap to think too much on the waves and you fall into the notion that that's the only thing we experience.  It's not true, and I am trying to be more thankful for the windows.

 

Thanks again,

Signmaker