DPMueller: introduction and request for advice

[DPMueller]

Hello everyone

 

I'm so glad I found this forum. I've been really unhappy with the prospects of my treatment, and was desperate to find an alternative.

 

First, I must admit that I'm a bit overwhelmed by the website - there is so much information (which is amazing, but also daunting), so please forgive me if I'm doing something wrong, or not asking the right questions.

 

So a bit about myself... I'm 42, assigned male at birth. I've suffered from very mild depression the majority of my life, I think. Definitely since my early 20s.

 

All my life I refused to take anti-depressants or any sort of psychiatric medication, but then when I was 30 my mild depression became slightly less mild (but still very low) and I fell for peer pressure and people talking me into the fact that it's a chemical imbalance and by treating it, somehow my life will be perfect. So I was prescribed Citalopram (I can't remember the dosage, but it wasn't a lot). 

 

I hated it! And after about 6 months I weened myself off it according to the guidelines - but it was too late - and the damage was done.

 

My mild depression turned gradually into severe depression, until when I Was about 36 it became debilitating. I was unable to move most of the time, but continued to refuse to take medication.

Sadly, it became so bad that I couldn't keep on torturing the people around me and I decided to give medication another try - refusing to take SSRIs, but my psychiatrist suggested I take Elontril - which is Bupropion Hydrochrloride. I started off with a dosage of 150-300 a day before settling on 150mg a day. My psychiatrist also promised me that it's very likely that after a year I'd be able to quit (a reassurance I desperately needed).

 

Now, I'm not going to lie... since I started taking them, I'm like a new person. I'm back to being my old self - I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm experiencing happiness for the first time in forever. However, it's now been 3 years since I started, and I hate having to be dependant on medication. After a year, as promised, I tried weening off the meds, according to guidelines, and as I'm sure you all know - it did not turn out well! So I had to continue again, and now I'm taking 150 mg every day. 

 

I'm really scared of the potential side effects of quitting, but I also know that I have to do it, so I'm looking for advice from anyone who has taken Elontril or Bupropion - how best to do it, and what I can expect, or if there are any articles out there about this... 

 

Thank you so much for your attention.

 

 

Edited September 18, 2022 by ChessieCat
added spacing and removed initials at bottom of post

[Frogie]

@DPMueller

 

Welcome to SA. We are a volunteer ran site helping people taper off psychiatric medications or have tapered off and are now healing.

 

This is your introduction page where you will receive information, ask questions, and meet other members. We as that you only have one introduction page so we can keep all your information in one place.

 

 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

• Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

 

We don't suggest more than tapering 10% a month and a lot go much slower than that. I'm going to provide you with some links that you will find useful when starting your taper.

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Preparing to taper

 

Tips for tapering off buproprion (Wellbutrin, SR, XR, XL)

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

 

 

 

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications:

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

After you have read the links provided please reach out with any questions you may have.

 

 

[DPMueller]

Thank you for that. I've just read everything - very helpful, albeit a bit terrifying.

 

I guess I have a few questions, if anyone has some answers or thoughts - that would be awesome:

 

1. I started taking medication because nothing else helped my depression - and I'm really worried that it will come back. In the video somebody posted, they mentioned to have another way of treating your issue - but if there were another way, I would have done it by now - and nothing seemed to help. Did anybody else have a similar issue with stopping their medication? 

 

2. I take Elontril* 150mg - once a day, which means I assume it's an XR or XL... I am almost certain (from my experience with talking about this with my psychiatrist) that they won't prescribe anything else for me, so I don't know how to taper down if I have an XR. From what I read, it seemed pretty confusing, and I kinda got a bit lost. Again, did anybody else experience anything similar? I would love to hear from people who have specifically been on Elontril.

 

* CC added from https://pillintrip.com/medicine/elontril

   Elontril® (bupropion hydrochloride extended-release tablets)

 

3. A lot of the withdrawal symptoms I've read about were quite specific to SSRIs. From people's experience, should I expect the same for Biprupion? 

 

Thank you again for everything.

DPM

 

Edited September 19, 2022 by ChessieCat
added extra info re Elontril

[Frogie]

@DPMueller

 

Please create a signature so that we can better assess you. I gave you the information and link in my welcome to you, but here is again. Also, list ALL medications you are currently on. Are you taking hormone therapy? Please list that also.

 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

• Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

If you are taking an XR or XL, once you start tapering and crushing or making liquid out of the tablets, they do become immediate release. So at that point, you may have to take your doses 2-3 times a day to keep it steady in your system.

 

These medications numb your feelings. Once you start tapering, you may find that you have feelings again and that is normal. You could try therapy, and CBT to learn how to control them.