Sveta81: tapering Lexapro and Oxazepam - burnout and withdrawal symptoms

[Sveta81]

Hi everyone. I’m so happy to have found this website. I’m not an English native speaker, but will try to share my story.

 

I have been on Lexapro for around 4 years now, and since Januari of this year I have tapered my dose from 7,5mg to 1mg. It was prescribed to me for chronic depression, and I’ve been seeing psychologists for most of my life. Since end of last year I’m doing better due to some events in my live and having found a more holistic approach and tools to battle my mental issues. This helped me make the decision to try tapering the Lexapro again.
 

I have very limited medical support with this process. My GP prescribed me the drug at the time, but it became clear quite soon that they had no idea about the side effects. Also, one other psychiatrist told me that if I was unhappy about Lexapro, I should try another drug. I refuse to do so, because I’m so tired of being on these drugs. I lost faith in modern day psychiatry. 
 

I am looking into the tips on tapering after reducing the dose to 1 mg. For now I plan to reduce to 0,9 mg by diluting the drop of Lexapro liquid in water. Hope to be able to share experiences with users here, as this seems the only place where I can get help. Thank you. 

[Frogie]

@Sveta81

 

Welcome to SA. We are a volunteer ran site helping people taper off psychiatric medications or have tapered off and are now healing.

 

This is your introduction page where you will receive information, ask questions and meet other members. We ask that you only have one introduction page so we can keep all your information in one place.

 

 

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It seems that you have tapered way too quickly. We don't suggest more than 10% a month and many go much slower than that.

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

 

 

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications:

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

Here are some links that you will find useful.

 

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

 

We don't suggest supplements because they can be very stimulating to the central nervous system (CNS) except 2. If you would like to try one, try a small amount and wait a few days before introducing the other.

 

 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

 

After you have read the links provided please reach out with any questions you may have.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Sveta81]

A quick update. I am currently keeping the 0.9 mg Lexapro dosis for several months. I missed a dosis of one day (my own fault), and boy what a hell I went through. My body and mind felt strange, foggy and as if not belonging to myself. I felt emotional, scared and sad. It was difficult to calm myself down. Almost like a panic attack. I live alone, and the world can be quite a scary place in such moment. I know though, that I would feel better after dinner, when I was able to continue with my normal dosis (I take my drops after dinner). Can't believe how powerful this substance is, even at such a small dose. 

 

What helped during my difficult day was this website, and reading about the hardships others have gone trough. It is inspiring to see how some can be so positive. Also, I learned about the idea of waves and windows and that seemed to calm me down a bit. 

 

As part of my holistic healing process, I have also been educating myself about Ayurveda, and when I feel restless I now rub warm oil on my feet. It is very grounding and relaxing, so this was something that also helped me during this difficult day. 

[ChessieCat]

You might also look at the success stories forum:

 

Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal

 

And this topic:

 

Best of SA - Favourite advice and insights

[Sveta81]

I would like to use this thread to update on my tapering journey. I am now at 0.65mg per day of Lexapro drops. I live by the rule of not tapering more than 10% a time. I must say, I tend to do even less and really listend to my body. 
 

The past year, I have been a bit struggling with my health. I got COVID 2 times and flu 2 times. It seems that my body and mind are very sensitive to stress and if I have too much stress, it weakens my immune system. It is easy to drop into a cycle of high stress, mild restorative sleep and catching some illness again. I don’t know if it is caused by the withdrawal?

 

I feel that the Lexapro side effects are slowly fading. Dry mouth and low libido are becoming something of the past. I do have a lot of night sweating. 
 

I have weekly therapy for my anxiety and depression issues. And I use Ayurveda, meditation and breathwork to support myself and make it more bearable.

 

I think I can’t complain about my withdrawal, when comparing with others here in the forum. However, I would like to be more resilient and have a better working immunity system. GP says it’s very normal to be sick so often, and I should accept it. In the past, blood levels and iron was checked and all OK. Heart is also fine. 

[6ofclubs19]

@Sveta81 Hello, I also am tapering Lexapro - I’m holding at 5mg at the moment. I also agree with no more than 10% drops is best. 
 

Meditation is definitely part of my tapering journey as well. It allows me to be present with my body and my feelings, and most of the time find my withdrawal symptoms aren’t as bad as I thought they were.

[Sveta81]

Time for an update, as I seem to be struggling with a few things and in doubt about further tapering down. 

 

After my last taper, I experienced episodes of anxiety, almost leading into a panick attack. I was able to calm myself down by non-medical ways of treatment and exercises. I realized that now I am at such low dosis of AD, the 10% rule doesn't seem to work for me anymore. I am trying to find a new suitable way to taper. It has been 1.5 month since my last taper. I will try now to move from 0.5mg to 0.49 mg and see the result. 

 

Physically I feel rather fit, and my immune system is not bugging me as much as it was before. I am able to run for a few times a week, do yoga almost on a daily basis. I have also continued daily breathing exercises (SKY breath) and trying to meditate daily. I have been seeing an Ayurvedic doctor in July and this was a real eye opener. I have started using various supplements since and further incorporate the Ayurvedic diet in my life.

 

Since the last taber, it feels like my mind is a bit vulnerable. I am struggling with all the thoughts, doubts, and feelings that I am not used to feeling anymore since they were suppressed by the drugs for many years. Personally I am quite a sensitive person, with an unconventional family life, past traumas and a job at a big corporate that is very demanding as well. This past week there seem to be some events that have triggered a lot of thinking and feeling. At the end of some days, my head can feel so heavy, aching and throbbing. There is a pressure behing my eyes, and my sight seems to be not ideal. Eyes are very sensitive. I wear contacts with a heavy prescription, but even though I am used to the normal irritation, this feels worse. I feel like I am becoming more stuck inside myself, more inward focused. Anyone recognize any of this?

 

The medication also have suppressed the self-criticizing voice in my head for years. It seems now this voice is slowly coming back, and that also ignites some fear in me. At this moment I feel extremely conscious of everything I do, my posture and how I look. I remember this from my pre-AD days. It was something that weighed heavily on me at the time, and seemed to have increased my feelings of self-rejection and depression back then. 

 

Any tips about tapering the last bit? And also how to battle (or accept?) the self-criticiting voice and self rejection? I already am going to group therapy. 

 

 

[6ofclubs19]

On 8/5/2023 at 9:32 AM, Sveta81 said:

Any tips about tapering the last bit? And also how to battle (or accept?) the self-criticiting voice and self rejection?

I also work for a large corporation, and I can completely relate to your last entry. I don't have any tips for tapering the last part, as I've been holding at 5mg for the past 3 1/2 months as I navigate through the most difficult portion of my divorce and am now going to start my 2.5% drop of current dose per week. However, I totally understand what you're saying about the self-critical, rejection-focused self-talk! I like to call this stinkin thinkin. When this happens, I try to be present with my feelings, recognize when I'm getting into the spiral down into negativity, and try to focus on more positive things. Another aspect of my "stinkin thinkin" is that I get really paranoid with my job and think that everyone hates me, even though that's really not true. I'm good at my job and people appreciate me. That's good you're going to group therapy, listen to other's stories and learn from the smart ones.

[survivetaper]

usually when do the withdrawl starts, right away or after few days?

Is it 10 days after dose changes?/

[Sveta81]

On 8/20/2023 at 1:54 AM, 6ofclubs19 said:

I also work for a large corporation, and I can completely relate to your last entry. I don't have any tips for tapering the last part, as I've been holding at 5mg for the past 3 1/2 months as I navigate through the most difficult portion of my divorce and am now going to start my 2.5% drop of current dose per week. However, I totally understand what you're saying about the self-critical, rejection-focused self-talk! I like to call this stinkin thinkin. When this happens, I try to be present with my feelings, recognize when I'm getting into the spiral down into negativity, and try to focus on more positive things. Another aspect of my "stinkin thinkin" is that I get really paranoid with my job and think that everyone hates me, even though that's really not true. I'm good at my job and people appreciate me. That's good you're going to group therapy, listen to other's stories and learn from the smart ones.

Thank you for sharing, 6ofclubs19. Your reply really helped me feel less alone. For some reason, even though I rationally know that there are lots of people struggling with this, I can feel so isolated sometimes. I think because the "stinkin thinkin" is only in your own head, this also makes it a lonely burden. And in any case, people that haven't experienced either withdrawal, or these type of mental issues, have difficulty relating. Which is good for them of course. Good that you are able to challenge these thoughts and tell yourself they are not true. 

 

Thankfully the thoughts have improved a bit. Although this can change day by day. What I am now experiencing is a lot of memories and rumenating about things in the past. I wonder if it means that I am able to feel more emotions again.  It is like my brain and body is reliving past experiences and organizing them in my head. 

 

I can understand that you are taking it slow with tapering in your circumstances. 

 

 

[Sveta81]

On 8/24/2023 at 9:26 PM, survivetaper said:

usually when do the withdrawl starts, right away or after few days?

Is it 10 days after dose changes?/

No, not right away. I think closer to 10 days. 

 

I have moved now from 0.59 to 0.58 mg in a week, and have not felt anything. But it can be a few weeks later that a wave hits me all of a sudden. 

 

I see you are tapering quite rapidly, is that going well?

[preturndays]

Hey,

 

Thanks for sharing your story with me.

I'm also tapering off Lexapro

 

But I just want to root for you !

[6ofclubs19]

@Sveta81 Hello, so glad I helped you feel less alone. I guess that’s what we do here. 💟 I see you’re on <1mg Lexapro, I will be there myself, some day. Slow and steady, they say. It’s the large jumps that are not advised. It’s possible to feel the effects weeks or even months later, that’s what I’ve learned here. It’s so easy to entertain in my head the idea to quit cold turkey! Butttt that’s what has led me to going back on Lexapro each time I’ve tried to quit. Hopefully this time is different. Good luck! 

[survivetaper]

17 hours ago, Sveta81 said:

 

I see you are tapering quite rapidly, is that going well?

Yes, some headaches , sleep issues.

Anything I can take for sleep help?

[Sveta81]

On 8/29/2023 at 2:44 PM, survivetaper said:

Yes, some headaches , sleep issues.

Anything I can take for sleep help?

I have no experience with insomnia during tapering. But I know a lot of other people on this forum are suffering from this withdrawal symptom. So if you would search on the forum you should find those threads quite easily.

[getofflex]

On 8/5/2023 at 9:32 AM, Sveta81 said:

Any tips about tapering the last bit?

Yes.  I spent 2 years getting off my last tiny bit of Lexapro, and I'm really glad I went super slowly.  Lexapro is a real powerful SSRI, 2-4 times more powerful than other SSRI's.  And the lower doses have a disproportionately higher effect on the brain than the higher doses.  So, it gets even more important to go extremely slowly and carefully at the end of a taper.  

 

Here is what I did.  I would reduce by a really tiny amount, even less than the suggested 10%.  Then, I would wait until my body felt somewhat stable for about 2 weeks.  I listened closely to my body, and I intuitively knew when it was time to do another reduction.  If there was stress going on in my life, I would wait to do another taper. So, often I would wait 6 to 8 weeks to do each taper.  You can see my signature to see exactly how I tapered.  

 

This link explains more about how at very low doses, these drugs still have a powerful effect on us.  Pay attention to the graph in there - even a tiny decrease at the lower doses has a big effect on our brains.  

 

SERT Occupancy Studies

 

 

[getofflex]

On 8/5/2023 at 9:32 AM, Sveta81 said:

And also how to battle (or accept?) the self-criticiting voice and self rejection?

Do you have trauma in your past?  There is a great book by Pete Walker about his called "CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving", and he has lots of ways to combat our inner critics.  You can get it on amazon.  

[6ofclubs19]

@getofflex @survivetaper @Sveta81

 

Great discussion in this thread. I really appreciate being reminded about the powerfulness of this drug, especially at lower doses, when tapering down. I agree that CPTSD has a lot to do with what we are going through. I definitely have sustained childhood trauma, which I think propelled me into getting on Lexapro in the first place.

Also, in all honesty, I haven't found anything (drug, supplement) that has worked to help me with my insomnia. Nothing. I'm currently in a state of acceptance of the fact that I sleep over 7 hours/night 3 days out of the week, and the rest of the week I sleep 4-5 hours. Yes it sucks, but it has been like this my entire life, not just during the taper/withdrawal.

I did try something recently that kinda worked, Magnesium Glycinate 200mg. It's a small window of time where I feel the effect of it, and if I don't fall asleep during that window, then it's gone. Your results may vary.

ALSO, my sleep hygiene is terrible: I stay on my phone too long before I go to sleep. If I worked on this, I'm sure I would sleep longer each night! We are all human, what can I say? 🤣

[Sveta81]

On 9/9/2023 at 1:27 AM, getofflex said:

Yes.  I spent 2 years getting off my last tiny bit of Lexapro, and I'm really glad I went super slowly.  Lexapro is a real powerful SSRI, 2-4 times more powerful than other SSRI's.  And the lower doses have a disproportionately higher effect on the brain than the higher doses.  So, it gets even more important to go extremely slowly and carefully at the end of a taper.  

 

Here is what I did.  I would reduce by a really tiny amount, even less than the suggested 10%.  Then, I would wait until my body felt somewhat stable for about 2 weeks.  I listened closely to my body, and I intuitively knew when it was time to do another reduction.  If there was stress going on in my life, I would wait to do another taper. So, often I would wait 6 to 8 weeks to do each taper.  You can see my signature to see exactly how I tapered.  

 

This link explains more about how at very low doses, these drugs still have a powerful effect on us.  Pay attention to the graph in there - even a tiny decrease at the lower doses has a big effect on our brains.  

 

SERT Occupancy Studies

 

 

Thank you, that a tiny decrease at the lower dose has a big effect is my experience as well. I was on holiday abroad last week, and I made the mistake of not bringing my syringe and measuring cup. Therefore I could not measure my exact dose of 0.57 and I assume it was closer to 0.5 mg that I took daily. After a few days I got flu like symptoms such as sore throat, low energy. I couldn’t tolerate the AC inside anymore (it was a warm country). At night I got intense sweating attacks. The temperature regulation of my body is off. In addition, I also feel unstable mentally. I clearly am in a wave right now and will take my time to stabilize. So easy to overestimate what you can handle sometimes.

 

With regards to trauma, yes there is a history of childhood trauma. One of the factors (I believe) that lead to my depression and starting with the AD in the first place. I am reading the book ‘The body keeps score’ now and can recommend this to anyone that has to deal with this topic. It also explains how trauma affects the body, and points out how modern day psychiatry often disregards the affect of trauma on the body. 

[Sabinesh]

@Sveta81

i agree that when the taper is in progress and at lower doses our minds start to analyse and digest events with clarity. Sometimes it may be the past events. Not to be labelled as ruminating as a symptom of depression, but to be seen as  our intelligence is working. Sometimes it gets in the way of sleep cycle.

[Sveta81]

On 10/16/2023 at 7:55 AM, Sabinesh said:

@Sveta81

i agree that when the taper is in progress and at lower doses our minds start to analyse and digest events with clarity. Sometimes it may be the past events. Not to be labelled as ruminating as a symptom of depression, but to be seen as  our intelligence is working. Sometimes it gets in the way of sleep cycle.

Hi Sabinesh,

 

Thank you for posting in this thread. The AD induced fog indeed seems to slowly disappear, and feelings and events are clearer, but it can also be a rather raw experience. I have been stuck at 0.5 mg now for a few months and I still don't feel ready for the next taper. 

 

As a matter of general update, I had quite some rough past few weeks. I did a lot of travelling for work and leasure, and pushed my self a bit too far I guess. Also another big live event. I feel a bit unstable emotionally, and very vulnerable for external stimuli. As if the protective coating of the AD is wearing off, which makes sense of course. It is like I have to learn about myself again, who I am and what my boundaries are. It also seems that the "unfinished psychological work" of many years ago is appearing again. And it can make me weary. How much should I be able to accept and live with? What is part of my character, and what is trauma? 

 

Additionally my body doesn't feel very strong. Sometimes I feel very much stress in the stomach area. Not able to do much sports at the moment, besides walking and stretching.

 

I will try to take it easy the next weeks. No travelling. Building in a frequence of yoga and meditation again in my daily routines. I have continued doing the SKY breath techniques on a daily basis. I think it really alleviates things. So thankful for these natural remedies. 

[Sveta81]

Another update from my side. Lately I had more energy and decided to take up a new sport. This sport enables me to vent some emotions. This might help me in my recovery and to deal with my new feelings. 

Today I felt emotional. It seems I am able to cry more easily. It feels good to be able to cry at the grave of a loved one. This was blocked for a long time by the AD. 

I’m considering to go down a bit and taper some more. I have a 100ml syringe. Measurements are not so precise so I will be able to drop to 0.48 mg only. 

[Sveta81]

In the meanwhile I have tapered down to 0.48mg. I have realized that I have been doing this in maybe not the most accurate way. I dissolve 1 drop of the 20mg/ml drops in 100ml water, and then by using a syringe remove 52ml of the water. The bottle has a closed cap, so wouldn't know how to do it any other way. It seems to work for now.

 

I am going through a lot of stress at work the last two weeks. Possibly looking at a move to a different country for my work (something I want but also fear a lot). I feel that I am not happy in continuing in my current position at work, so I have no other choice than to look further. 

 

This weekend I felt kind of low. I try to be accepting to myself of the feelings and emotions that might not be so pleasant. When I feel bad, I now say to myself: I love myself completely. I love my anxiety, I love my depression, I love the symptoms of stress in my body. I feel it gives some release. In the past I have been pushing away these emotions and feelings. And also was ashamed of them. The depression seems to come from a place of self-denial and shame. Therefore, accepting all the parts of myself is now something I would like to start trying. And it is not easy. The first inclanation of the mind seems to be to criticisize myself, self-denial and shame. I wonder why this is, and why so many people struggle with this. Why are we so rough on ourselves?

[Sveta81]

Hi everyone,

 

An update on my Lexapro tapering journey, that is already taking 2 years now. Slow and steady is the motto.

 

Recently I tapered to 0.4 mg Lexapro. I think I went a bit too quick. I jumped from 0.45 to 0.4 mg basically, and my body wasn't very happy. I felt light headed, from time to time dizzy and experienced some heart palpitations. What made it worse is that I drank too much alcohol during a company event last week. The next day I felt really, really awful. I kept in bed for several days and then had to travel by plane for a business trip of a week. The days after I still felt dizzy sometimes and anxiety flared from time to time. One night I woke up as if the bed was shaking. I could really feel it shaking as if there was an earthquake. It was scary. I had a hard time sleeping well the first days of the trip. Thankfully I stabilized after a few days and am feeling normal now. At night I can still wake up anxious and disoriented, especially when the room is too dark. It is a signal that I need to be careful. I am a bit upset with myself honestly for taking it too far. 

 

What has helped me during times of unease, is to think what my body is trying to tell me at those moments. And remember the "slow and steady" motto. Slow movements, mindfullness, de-stressing. I tried to sleep long hours. I did yoga nidra and take daily baths. Soothing the nervous system helped me sleep better and feel better. I also kept on exercising, even though I didn't know if my body would react well to it. I took walks outside and after a few days did some fitness. It helped me sleep better in the end. This journey is all about trial and error..

[preturndays]

Dear Sveta 81,

 

I hadn't seen your replies in a while so I'm glad you touched base with all of us.

I'm real sorry about your anxiety flaring up and that you had heart palpitations and one night you woke believing your bed was shaking. That must have been really...scary.

I've never had that in my journey (the bed part and knock on wood hopefully never will or you won't go through it again), but I have had briefly heart palpitations and anxiety all of these under Mimic Anxiety Disorder.  So I can relate to that.

 

I don't consume alcohol, since it is a downer for me.  Even before taking my antidepressant, alcohol could get me feeling pretty good but then I would crash hard and try to attempt suicide or have suicidal thoughts.  So, I stay away from alcoholic libations.

 

I hope you go easy on drinking or social drinking.  To me, it doesn't sound like you have a problem but because you're experiencing a negative with alcohol during tapering off and your symptoms are affected by this maybe not drink or drink very little ???  Not wanting to sound like a mother or anything or trying to tell you what to do with your life, because it is your choice.  I was just worried that it might happen to you, again.  I don't want to see that, because I've been at "really, really awful" before.  I may not relate to your alcohol situation, BUT I've made the mistake of tapering off HALF my dosage when I should have tapered off 10% or even less than that (this was before finding this website and using it properly).  It's been a journey for me, as well. 

 

I'm glad you found yoga nidra, taking baths, walking, and exercising.  I also feel the same when you write "I also kept on exercising, even though I didn't know if my body would react well to it."  Yeah, there are times where I don't know if practicing yoga will help me that day but I keep up with it as well.  Unless, my Mimic Gastroenteritis is bad (nausea and diarrhea) yoga, exercising, and fitness will be part of my life on this journey. 

 

I'm glad you feel better and rest better :)

 

I looked up yoga nidra, because I didn't know what that was and found it to be helpful tool.  Something else I could use in my life so thank-you for that  I'm glad I connected with this community. I'm learning as well. 

 

Take care of yourself Sveta 81.  I look forward to your next post because they give me hope.

 

[Sveta81]

On 1/27/2024 at 2:22 PM, preturndays said:

Dear Sveta 81,

 

I hadn't seen your replies in a while so I'm glad you touched base with all of us.

I'm real sorry about your anxiety flaring up and that you had heart palpitations and one night you woke believing your bed was shaking. That must have been really...scary.

I've never had that in my journey (the bed part and knock on wood hopefully never will or you won't go through it again), but I have had briefly heart palpitations and anxiety all of these under Mimic Anxiety Disorder.  So I can relate to that.

 

I don't consume alcohol, since it is a downer for me.  Even before taking my antidepressant, alcohol could get me feeling pretty good but then I would crash hard and try to attempt suicide or have suicidal thoughts.  So, I stay away from alcoholic libations.

 

I hope you go easy on drinking or social drinking.  To me, it doesn't sound like you have a problem but because you're experiencing a negative with alcohol during tapering off and your symptoms are affected by this maybe not drink or drink very little ???  Not wanting to sound like a mother or anything or trying to tell you what to do with your life, because it is your choice.  I was just worried that it might happen to you, again.  I don't want to see that, because I've been at "really, really awful" before.  I may not relate to your alcohol situation, BUT I've made the mistake of tapering off HALF my dosage when I should have tapered off 10% or even less than that (this was before finding this website and using it properly).  It's been a journey for me, as well. 

 

I'm glad you found yoga nidra, taking baths, walking, and exercising.  I also feel the same when you write "I also kept on exercising, even though I didn't know if my body would react well to it."  Yeah, there are times where I don't know if practicing yoga will help me that day but I keep up with it as well.  Unless, my Mimic Gastroenteritis is bad (nausea and diarrhea) yoga, exercising, and fitness will be part of my life on this journey. 

 

I'm glad you feel better and rest better :)

 

I looked up yoga nidra, because I didn't know what that was and found it to be helpful tool.  Something else I could use in my life so thank-you for that  I'm glad I connected with this community. I'm learning as well. 

 

Take care of yourself Sveta 81.  I look forward to your next post because they give me hope.

 

Thank you for your reply, preturndays. It was really encouraging to see that my posts have given hope 😊. The shaking bed was indeed very scary. This hasn't happened any other time after since, thankfully. Sorry to hear you have also experienced hart palpitations and anxiety as part of your tapering journey. I read it quite often here on SA.

Anything that helps you in these moments?

 

I agree that it is better to leave the alcohol, at least try to drink less socially. The past period it went quite well. The thing is, when I have been having a stressful time, I just get an urge sometimes to forget everything and have a good time. I am quite a sensitive person and for me the relief from "overthinking" everything and just having fun can be so tempting. Also, sometimes social events that drain my energy can be better doable with a glass of alcohol. It is bad, I know, but at this moment I don't really know what to do with it. Last weekend I just had one glass of wine. Sorry to hear that you had some very bad expierences after drinking alcohol.

 

It reminds me of the time just before I started Lexapro, when I experienced that the alcohol didn't help forget my depression anymore during an evening clubbing. I was trying to numb out my feelings. And I guess I still have that urge sometimes. Especially when I am with other people that make me feel less comfortable.

 

Do you have any idea when you will be heading to the 0? Or you are taking it slow and steady as well and will see when it comes?

 

 

 

 

 

[Sveta81]

A general check in from my side. I am ready to taper down to 0.38 / 0.36 mg as I have been feeling stable. I did get some signals from my body that I need to build in more moments of rest. I definitely feel I need more time than normal to recover and relax. It also feels my heart is quite sensitive at the moment. I easily get a higher hart rate, and sometimes it doesn't want to go down. I find it difficult to relax at times. It is almost impossible for me to sleep after I had a long day with a social activity after work for example. This can be difficult as I have to travel for work sometimes, have social events etc. I really need to have hours of winding down before bed. I don't remember if I had this before I started to use the AD. It could also be that I am older now, and can't handle stress as well anymore. 

 

I wish sometimes I could go into nature and just wind down without all the noise/sound/ technology stimuli, and just see nobody. However, I live in a place where there is always noise, always people around and buildings etc. It is very crowded always. Not sure how to deal with this, or I am just being too demanding... 

[preturndays]

Dear Sveta81,

 

Thank-you for your reply.

Sorry if it is a late reply.

 

When I do have waves like when my heart races, I just have to simply ignore it, sit somewhere comfortable, breathe, and calm myself down.  If I'm at home, exercise like yoga helps me out or listening to nature music with or without my headphones on helps, too.

 

I don't know when I'll finish my medication.  It will probably be slow rather than fast since when I was doing it too fast my withdrawal symptoms would be worse.  Perhaps, next year.  Fingers crossed.

 

I really understand being the alone with nature to unwind part.  I don't think it is too demanding or excessive.  It's pretty normal for anyone to want to be in a quiet place and just enjoy the silence or watch the scenery unfold.

If you feel up to it you could always buy real or fake plants/flowers for your apartment.  I live in the U.S. so there's always fake plants/flowers in a store to buy and they look really realistic or go to an art store where they sell a lot of different fake flowers.  Maybe buy some real flowers and place them in a vase so you have something like that to enjoy???  Or buy a tabletop waterfall.  The sound of water can be soothing and relaxing, too, especially when you close your eyes and breathe/meditate.   I don't know if this helps you out but just trying to give you an idea.

 

I hope you have a great day and may your troubles lessen,

Preturndays 

[OffPills]

On 2/29/2024 at 8:14 PM, Sveta81 said:

A general check in from my side. I am ready to taper down to 0.38 / 0.36 mg as I have been feeling stable. I did get some signals from my body that I need to build in more moments of rest. I definitely feel I need more time than normal to recover and relax. It also feels my heart is quite sensitive at the moment. I easily get a higher hart rate, and sometimes it doesn't want to go down. I find it difficult to relax at times. It is almost impossible for me to sleep after I had a long day with a social activity after work for example. This can be difficult as I have to travel for work sometimes, have social events etc. I really need to have hours of winding down before bed. I don't remember if I had this before I started to use the AD. It could also be that I am older now, and can't handle stress as well anymore. 

 

I wish sometimes I could go into nature and just wind down without all the noise/sound/ technology stimuli, and just see nobody. However, I live in a place where there is always noise, always people around and buildings etc. It is very crowded always. Not sure how to deal with this, or I am just being too demanding... 

Very recognizable. I also need hours to wind down after a socially active day. Could indeed be caused by your Lexapro and my Celexa, but I suspect being highly sensitive being the cause in my case.

 

And same here about the hard time winding down with all the noise. In that perspective I would like to live in a more quiet environment. So I don’t think you’re too demanding.

 

I wish you well and good luck with your next step in tapering down!

 

[Sveta81]

On 3/6/2024 at 3:00 PM, preturndays said:

Dear Sveta81,

 

Thank-you for your reply.

Sorry if it is a late reply.

 

When I do have waves like when my heart races, I just have to simply ignore it, sit somewhere comfortable, breathe, and calm myself down.  If I'm at home, exercise like yoga helps me out or listening to nature music with or without my headphones on helps, too.

 

I don't know when I'll finish my medication.  It will probably be slow rather than fast since when I was doing it too fast my withdrawal symptoms would be worse.  Perhaps, next year.  Fingers crossed.

 

I really understand being the alone with nature to unwind part.  I don't think it is too demanding or excessive.  It's pretty normal for anyone to want to be in a quiet place and just enjoy the silence or watch the scenery unfold.

If you feel up to it you could always buy real or fake plants/flowers for your apartment.  I live in the U.S. so there's always fake plants/flowers in a store to buy and they look really realistic or go to an art store where they sell a lot of different fake flowers.  Maybe buy some real flowers and place them in a vase so you have something like that to enjoy???  Or buy a tabletop waterfall.  The sound of water can be soothing and relaxing, too, especially when you close your eyes and breathe/meditate.   I don't know if this helps you out but just trying to give you an idea.

 

I hope you have a great day and may your troubles lessen,

Preturndays 

Thank you for your reply and tips on the plants/flowers for my apartment. Thankfully I do have a garden and now the weather is becoming better it will be a spote were I will spend more time :). And I have decided to buy roses for myself more often. They are quite uplifting. We have the sea here at about an half hour drive as well, so I might go there more often. 

 

I am experiencing some waves at the moment. It feels my nervous system is very sensitive. Almost as if the nerves are buzzing/vibrating in my body. Not a pleasant sensation and it keeps me from falling asleep sometimes. Thankfully I have a week off from work, so I can calm myself down. 

 

How are things at your end? Hopefully not experiencing too many waves?

 

 

 

 

[Sveta81]

General update from my side. 

 

As I am writing this, I feel a bit restless. It seems that I have been hitting some waves. Like today. Now and then my nervous system feels very sensitive, almost as if I can feel my nerves run through my body and they are warm and pulsing. Very strange sensation. My heart is also beating quite frequent. I used to have a smart watch that registered my heart rate, stress levels and body battery, but I decided to keep it off this month as the data was not very encouraging. Even a meeting with friends causes my body stress at the moment, even though I mentally enjoy it and need it 🙂. On the other hand, I feel restless often (this is quite normal for me, but now even worse). That makes it difficult for me to just chill and do nothing. 

 

I did talk about my experience and withdrawal symptoms to my partner, and thankfully he is very understanding ❤️. 

 

I will try to go to the gym today as I was planning to, and take it easy. Sometimes it helps me get through the uncomfortable state of mind. 

 

I am still working fulltime and I am planning a big life event this year. I think this gives me stress and it doesn't help. Thankfully the planning is going in a good direction and I will hopefully have some more confidence that things will be okay. I will be a week off now, so I have some time to rest.

 

I also experience some relapse symtoms. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since my late teen age, obviously this has been suppressed by the Lexapro. I feel now that some events can trigger episodes of depression and anxiety. Sometimes I even have the feeling that people are conspiring against me. At the same time I also know it that this is rediculous. But it give extra stress to the body and mind at such moment. Its like a battle between the mind and body??

 

What helps me is knowing that this is just temporary. And this forum really helps to keep hope and that we are not alone 💐.

 

 

[preturndays]

Dear Sveta81, 

 

You mentioned:

                    "My heart is also beating quite frequent.

                    I used to have a smart watch that registered my heart rate,

                    stress levels and body battery, but I decided to keep it off

                    this month as the data was not very encouraging."

 

It may not be on the Withdrawal Symptoms Sheet that I downloaded from this site, but Hypertension and Blood Pressure to shoot up is also a symptom that some people can have when they are tapering off their medication.

 

If you have anxiety all the time, it can shoot up your Blood Pressure plus you might feel your Face Flushing and have Tension Headaches happen from it, too.  In other words, this is absolutely a normal part of withdrawing and I'm sorry you are going through it.  It is weird, I know, but I hope and pray that it lessens for you.

 

Yeah, when you mentioned people are conspiring against you....I've been through that and even the opposite, too!  It's totally untrue and it's really strange that it feels "normal" but it is absolutely ABNORMAL and I'm glad we can both see that and laugh about it later.  It really is a "fight" between the mind and body, sometimes. 

 

I wish and cheer for you the best on your Big Life Event! Woo-hoo!

Preturndays :)    

[Sveta81]

@preturndays thank you for your kind words! It helps me feel less alone in this process. I hope you are doing well, I see you are continuing with the slow taper. The big life event is starting to give me some happiness as well, now things are becoming more concrete :). I just try to live my normal life as much as I can. 

 

Thankfully the visit to the gym went OK last time I wrote. With the first exercises I felt really weird, like there was an electric current going through my nerves. And this took me on the verge of a panick attack. But I kept on going, with some light exercises and actually felt better afterwards. 

 

Yesterday we had a national celebration here and I had some plans. And in the morning I also felt a panic attack coming again. I realize now what is causing this to happen. Now and then (due to WD), I feel strange sensations in the body, such as nerves that feel electrically wired, numbness in my tongue, tingling feet, and a numb pressure in the middle of my head. Then I start to panic and this is how my panic reaction is born. What I try to do now is say to myself: "Body, I know that I am feeling these sensations, and I took note of them, but I am just going to slowly continue what I am doing". Other times I ask "Body, I feel these sensations, what are you trying to tell me? I hear you". It is my way of practicing self-care at the moment. It is not easy, but it gets me through the days and sometimes alleviates things a bit. 

 

A few weeks ago, I went for a massage and the massagist told me that my legs were so stiff. It is as if my body is full of tension. After the massage I felt dizzy and I had to take a nap. This never happend to me before. I wonder if this muscle tension is also caused by WD? I have sore legs now more frequently, but I don't believe it is akastesia. 

 

 

 

 

[Sveta81]

A quick update from my side. For a few weeks now I have been struggling with what seem to be (near) panic attacks. The latest two of them were at work related social events (a lunch and dinner) after a night I didn't sleep well. Due to WD my nervous system is very sensitive. It regularly impacts my sleep and then I am prone to these attacks. When I travel for work, this is becoming a problem and I am struggling to find the right balance.  

 

I haven't been taking enough rest. Therefore, I decided to make some changes and block my diary for at least a full day in the weekend. Also, I am now prioritizing my yin yoga classes on Saturday as I feel these are very restorative. I have made a change in my supplements towards the ones advised on this website. I am still struggling sometimes to refrain from drinking a few glasses of alcohol at a social event, but I know that this can be dangerous for me right now. 

 

We've been having nicer weather the past weeks, and I am really enjoying sitting in my garden in the sun and reading a book. Or a walk in nature, and sometimes even leaning against a tree. These are little moments of relief. 

[Ariel]

Hi @Sveta81

 

2 minutes ago, Sveta81 said:

For a few weeks now I have been struggling with what seem to be (near) panic attacks.

 

Something that helped me when I was experiencing panic attacks was completely removing the label or story of "panic attack". I stopped calling it that and refrained from thinking about it as such. Instead, I focused on feeling the bodily sensations -- noticing a variety of changing sensations in my chest, throat, breathing, abdomen, head, etc. -- really feeling them, accepting and allowing them, and releasing. Progressive relaxation techniques were very helpful towards practicing that letting go. I guess it's sort of the same principle as Claire Weekes' rag-doll technique of going limp (haven't tried her methods but have read about them and many SA members benefit from her work). The underlying idea is to dispel any fear reaction around what is happening in the body, because if there's a fear response, we go into resistance, which creates additional tension in the body, contracting muscles and worsening the original symptoms. So the practice is to accept accept accept and allow everything that's happening, practice telling oneself that one is safe, and relaxing into the sensations as much as possible. 

This methodology was tremendously helpful to me. I don't know whether it might be useful, sharing it just in case. 

 

10 minutes ago, Sveta81 said:

We've been having nicer weather the past weeks, and I am really enjoying sitting in my garden in the sun and reading a book. Or a walk in nature, and sometimes even leaning against a tree. These are little moments of relief. 

 

This is great! Well done, you, for noticing and taking in those moments of relief. 

 

 

Healing vibes to you <3

[preturndays]

Dear @Sveta81,

 

I am happy to hear that you finished your work-out and you enjoy yin yoga.

It couldn't be easy, because of the the withdrawal symptoms but I am rooting for you!  Don't give up and don't give into those emotions !

Exercise or spending a day outside is rewarding.  I'm glad you are doing it and it gives you relief.

 

I like Ariel's method of trying not label these attacks as "panic attacks" and trying to accept, but also releasing these bodily sensations through progressive relaxation techniques.  I've never tried it, but it seems helpful.  I hope it works for you.

 

I don't know how to give you advice on how to get more rest.

They have pages here that might help you.  Here are some:

They write about Epsom Salt Baths and have a link to a Epsom Salt Bath recipe.

I can highly recommend Epsom Salt Baths (I haven't tried that recipe on the link they provide.  I just kinda eyeballed the amount in the bath water and I didn't place any baking soda or essential oils, but I'm going to try next time to place some baking soda in it), especially when I had aches and pains.  It really can be relaxing and it has revitalized me.

 

 

 

 

 

Another link is the anxiety you might be feeling:

There's a member named Nikki and she's the fifth replier and she mentions her way: 

Six Steps To Put An End to Panic Attacks

 

Use these six steps for waves of sadness, anger, worry, fear, etc.

 

 

1. Accept - float don't fight

2. Permission - I know what this is

3. Breathe - Inhale 2, Exhale (notice that your shoulders have dropped)

4. Inner Dialogue - positive, comforting

5. Distract - action, mental & physical for at least 15 minutes. (shower, clean a closet)

6. Let Time Pass - discomfort always passes, remind yourself of this

 

 

Notice personality traits that encourage anxiety.

 

Begin to appreciate the positive side of our personalities.

 

You can change the way you think.

 

Begin making behavior changes.

 

Begin journaling.

 

Slow down in all ways.

 

Begin an exercise routine and reduce caffeine. In WD a mild form is best.

 

Recovery is a gradual process.

 

Use relaxation tapes.

 

Listen to your inner dialogue... Is is respectful, kind and compassionate?

 

I am proud of myself for the changes I am making. This condition is temporary.

 

If you scroll down more Nikki also has more replies.

 

 

 

 

There's one last link and it provides more links on sleeping problems, but there's a TON of withdrawal symptom information and possible treatments. 

 

I hope this helps and may your days become brighter and happier,

Preturndays