Adir: citalopram

[Adir]

Hello,

My name is Adir, I wanted to share my history with Citalopram.

 

December 2019  
I was prescribed antidepressant for depression and anxiety. I started off with 5 mg and over the course of 1.5 months this was gradually increased put on 30 mg for 6 months due to some extreme changes in life

July 2020 
I had tapered off over the course of 4 weeks as per my GP.
 

August 2020 
Symptoms came back so my GP had prescribed Citalopram again, this time only 20 mg.

March/April 2021
I tried to taper off again. But I was careless, I would sometimes take it, sometimes not. I also had a lot of stress in my personal life.

April 30th 2021
I made an unsuccessful suicide attempt. After this I was prescribed citalopram 40 mg and was on it till Jan 2022.

January 2022
I removed myself from circumstances which were impacting me negatively and leading to severe depression and anxiety. I was also having lots of urinary symptoms where I had to pee frequently this had been on going since September 2020 I had a suspicion it was medication related as when I tapered in March/April these symptoms improved.

January- September 2022
Every 2 months I tapered off 10 mg. I stayed on 20 mg for an extra month because I didn't feel ready to go to 10 mg.

September 4th 2022
I have been off completely. My mood swings are a struggle. The first 10 days the nausea and dizziness were terrible. That has improved. I have attached a mood chart (green are good days, light blue are neutral, dark blue are bad, purple are the worst) the lets me tag what I felt and journal a little. I also found a DESS symptom tracker thing online which I fill out every 10 days (see attachments). Not going to lie, I have no idea how its scored. I just put an "x" in the appropriate column and call it a day.

I am really scared. To be honest, my family does not understand psych issues at all. My partner tries his best. I got employed in Jan of this year after 3 years of unemployment. I am scared about my performance, I am scared about my endurance. I am scared about my relationship, I don't want to lose it.  I feel alone and just...scared. 

 

I want to know what to expect here realistically with my withdrawals. To be honest some of the stories here are scaring the actual life out of me.

I want to know how to regulate my moods when they go off course abruptly. I want to do this right and successfully.

Thank you for listening.

September 9.xlsx September 20.xlsx

[Adir]

Also I forgot to add, I have Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder (HSD)
I have so much body pain. Specially below the waist everything just aches in fire sort of way. I know withdrawals also include body aches. What do I do about it?

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  It is normal and common to be scared while we are going through withdrawal.  It sounds like you may have tapered off too quickly, and maybe you jumped off the drug at too high a dose.  I'll need more information from you, which I explain below.  

 

What was your final dose of the drug before you stopped taking it altogether on September 4, 2022?  

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs and supplements you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise vertical list (no symptoms), only specific dates, include the day (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day), drug names, and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Use this example:

 

Feb 15 2020 - June 30 2020 - 25mg citalopram, 2mg xanax

July 1 2020 - Sept 7 2020 - 50 mg citalopram, 4 mg xanax

Etcetera

 

Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully, and be very cautious about changing our doses: 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

A small reinstatement might help you.  Going back on a small dose of your drug, which we call reinstatement, is best done very carefully.  This is temporary, and after stabilizing you would then taper gradually off of this.  There is some risk involved, and we need more specifics about your drug history before we can suggest a good dose at which to reinstate.  Here is some information about reinstatement.  

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  Please read through it, and mull it over, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and take heart.  We in this forum have been through this, and we understand first hand the pain and discomfort you are going through.  Please know that the brain is amazing in it's healing abilities.  It takes time, but healing can and will happen. 

[Freja]

Hi Adir, and welcome to SA!

 

I’m also tapering citalopram, (currently holding) and have similar withdrawals as you, dizziness is the worst! I’m also working a job that doesn’t require to much, while i’m enduring the worst.

I found that reading the success stories here really helped me keep my head high. Even on my worst days. I hope you find a bit of peace on here as much as I have. And I wish you the best in your recovery

[Adir]

Hi Getoffflex,

Thanks for the warm welcome!
 

On 10/2/2022 at 2:09 AM, getofflex said:

 It sounds like you may have tapered off too quickly, and maybe you jumped off the drug at too high a dose.  I'll need more information from you, which I explain below.

I do agree with you, I think I tapered off faster than the 10% rule. We don't have the syrup version here and so the smallest increments I could manage was 10 mg. (5 mg gets too powdery and hard to control since the pill disintegrates completely).

 

On 10/2/2022 at 2:09 AM, getofflex said:

What was your final dose of the drug before you stopped taking it altogether on September 4, 2022?  

My final dose was 10 mg
 

On 10/2/2022 at 2:09 AM, getofflex said:

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs and supplements you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise vertical list (no symptoms), only specific dates, include the day (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day), drug names, and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Use this example:

I have a signature already, hope you can see it. I will add more details date wise although I never kept track so it'll be an approximation. They gave me Oxazepam for sleep disturbances but I never took it regularly because my sleep wasn't too disturbed and also because I didn't want to be addicted to it. Altogether I took maybe like 10 pills of 10 mg oxazepam over the course of the past 2.7 years. I am taking Vitamin D since I stopped my antidepressants. I am taking 5000 IU once a day because I have a history of low vitamin D and when I take a more normal amount of 1000-1500 IU my results are alway still very low. 

Mid of  December 2019 - End of June 2020: Citalopram |30 mg 
Early July 2020: 4 week taper -10 mg/week | 0 mg 

End of August 2020 - Early March 2021: Restarted Citalopram due to relapse |20 mg 
Early March - End of April 2021: Careless and inconsistent tapering  | 0 mg 

End of April 2021: Suicide attempt
End of April 2021 - Early January 2022: Citalopram | 40 mg
End of January 2022-  End March 2022: -10 mg | 30 mg
End of  March 2022-  End of June 2022: -10 mg | 20 mg
End of June 2022-  End of August 2022: -10 mg | 10 mg
September 4, 2022- Present: 0 mg | Vitamin D 5000 iu
Total time on Citalopram: ~ 2.7 years 

 

On 10/2/2022 at 2:09 AM, getofflex said:

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil.

I'll definitely look into magnesium since I've heard it may help with the body pain.

 

On 10/2/2022 at 2:09 AM, getofflex said:

A small reinstatement might help you.  Going back on a small dose of your drug, which we call reinstatement, is best done very carefully.  This is temporary, and after stabilizing you would then taper gradually off of this.

My dizziness has improved quite a bit since I first posted. I think I'm okay with a reinstatement if you think its necessary. I just prefer not to go through the dizziness and nausea phase again. Would that happen? 

Right now, my main complaint would be body pain + mood swings (although these too are less abrupt now)

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me! I am going to read through everything you've provided and get back to you.

[Adir]

On 10/2/2022 at 2:50 PM, Freja said:

I hope you find a bit of peace on here as much as I have. And I wish you the best in your recovery

Hi Freja!

Thank you for such a warm welcome!! I hope your dizziness is getting better. Mine took a month to see some improvements.
That's a really good suggestion, I feel like I've been mainly focusing on the stories of long-term withdrawal, I'm gonna make sure I balance my perspective too.

Good luck with everything and take care of yourself!

[getofflex]

8 hours ago, Adir said:

We don't have the syrup version here and so the smallest increments I could manage was 10 mg.

There is a way to make a homemade liquid from your citalopram.  This link will explain how to do that: 

 

Dosing and Tapering Citalopram

 

8 hours ago, Adir said:

My dizziness has improved quite a bit since I first posted. I think I'm okay with a reinstatement if you think its necessary. I just prefer not to go through the dizziness and nausea phase again. Would that happen?

I won't tell you a reinstatement is necessary, because I'm not a doctor.  All I can do is give you what your choices are, and let you decide for yourself.  The purpose of a reinstatement is just to help make the withdrawal symptoms tolerable.  It sounds like you are actually doing pretty well, so you may not need a reinstatement.  What other symptoms are you currently having besides mood swings?  Has the nausea improved? How is your sleep, eating, and basic daily functioning?   

 

To help allay your fears, I suggest you try reading the success stories on the forum.  

 

Success Stories

 

 

Edited October 4, 2022 by getofflex

[getofflex]

On 9/25/2022 at 5:13 PM, Adir said:

I want to know what to expect here realistically with my withdrawals. To be honest some of the stories here are scaring the actual life out of me.

Try to avoid reading the stories on the Introductions Forum.  To reassure you, many people who come in here were polydrugged, and have been on drugs for decades, so their situations are more difficult and complex.  You should have an easier time recovering than many people, as you've only been on one psych med regularly, and only for 2.7 years.  

 

This link will go into the various aspects of what to expect with withdrawal: 

 

How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

Edited October 4, 2022 by getofflex

[Adir]

I just wanted to do an update as its been a month.

 

I have a flaky scalp now and dry skin everywhere which sometimes itches. I get that it could be winter related. It's really irritating though because I'll get out of the shower, my hair will dry. I'll notice small flakes and powder stuck to the scalp, then I'll obvious scrape them off and take them out of my hair. and thennn by the next day my hair starts to get greasy. So I'm not sure if it's like a dry scalp or dandruff due to fungus/excessive sebum.

 

Is this because of WD? I've tried to search on the skin issues section but haven't really found very many people talking about flaky scalps.

 

Another thing that has been happening is anxiety.

Several nights a week there is this dread that creeps in and it's so pervasive. I feel it in my chest and then have difficulty breathing. When I was taking citalopram I had  acute panic attacks maybe a handful of times. But this is different. It's just a low-grade level of discomfort, dread, fear. And it'll be triggered by mundane things like dandruff or weight changes, or plan changes.

 

My therapist thinks that if the strategies that she has given don't help by the next two weeks I should see my psychiatrist again.

 

I'm really worried. 

 

I don't want to be on meds again, I also don't know how to regulate myself during that anxiety. I also don't know if its WD or relapse. Aaaand I don't wannt to feel the way I feel I don't think I can sustain it for long. The anxiety usually comes at night and I have trouble falling asleep.

[getofflex]

On 11/10/2022 at 9:40 AM, Adir said:

I don't want to be on meds again, I also don't know how to regulate myself during that anxiety. I also don't know if its WD or relapse. Aaaand I don't wannt to feel the way I feel I don't think I can sustain it for long. The anxiety usually comes at night and I have trouble falling asleep.

Adir there are many effective, non-drug ways to cope with, and reduce anxiety.  Have you tried any of these out? Go see the link in my first post to you about nondrug ways of coping with symptoms. There should be some stuff in there. If you go to a psychiatrist, it’s pretty likely that they’re just gonna put you back on drugs, and you’ll be back to square one. Since you jumped off citalopram at a high dose of 10 mg just two months ago I’m pretty sure that this anxiety is related to withdrawal. You could still consider going back on a small reinstatement. In fact I would suggest that. Try just 1 mg citalopram.  After you stabilize on this, you can gradually taper off.  

Edited November 29, 2022 by getofflex

[getofflex]

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/2023-tips-for-tapering-off-celexa-citalopram/#comment-19887

this link above will show you how to dose the non-standard dose of 1 mg. 

[Adir]

On 11/29/2022 at 5:29 PM, getofflex said:

If you go to a psychiatrist, it’s pretty likely that they’re just gonna put you back on drugs, and you’ll be back to square one. Since you jumped off citalopram at a high dose of 10 mg just two months ago I’m pretty sure that this anxiety is related to withdrawal.

I think non-drug ways of managing anxiety have been really effective for me! I just had a 4 day window!!!!

Also, I just realized that my psychiatrist here (pakistan) screwed up so bad. When I was in the Netherlands I was on 40 mg of citalopram. The psyche here put me on 40 mg of escitalopram. I have been tapering escitalopram this whole time which means jumping off 10 mg was actually an even higher dose. There is absolutely no way I can go to a psychiatrist and trust them here again. That sort of negligence is common here and one can't even take action against it.

I do understand that this 4 day window doesn't mean WD is done and I'm good to go although damn that would be noiceeee.

For the past 4 days I have been having a burning feeling in the vagina. I did a urinary test and it was all clear so no UTI. I'm hoping to god its not PSSD or something? It's a constant burning feeling down there, no abnormal discharge. Do you think its WD related? I tried searching here but there was so many other symptoms going on that I didn't find anything resembling what I have. I have slightly less libido during WD, but tbh November was hell so it was the last thing on my mind. In my window libido was fine, I was able to orgasm too. 

Thank you for your help and your responses!

[getofflex]

In your drug signature when you were on 40 mg of escitalopram did you mean to say November 2021 and December 2021 instead of 2022?

 

Your signature also says that you were on citalopram 40 mg from April 2021 to November 2022? Is this correct? Or should that be November 2021?

 

The vaginal burning is pretty likely to be a symptom of withdrawal. Our nervous systems are in charge of all of our systems in our body so when they’re messed up anything in our body can get messed up. It would be a good idea to go to a gynecologist and have it checked out though. Perhaps you have a vaginal infection. 

Edited December 5, 2022 by getofflex

[Adir]

 

1 hour ago, getofflex said:

In your drug signature when you were on 40 mg of escitalopram did you mean to say November 2021 and December 2021 instead of 2022?

 

Your signature also says that you were on citalopram 40 mg from April 2021 to November 2022? Is this correct? Or should that be November 2021?

 

The vaginal burning is pretty likely to be a symptom of withdrawal. Our nervous systems are in charge of all of our systems in our body so when they’re messed up anything in our body can get messed up. It would be a good idea to go to a gynecologist and have it checked out though. Perhaps you have a vaginal infection. 

Yes sorry my mistake, it should be 2021. I'll fix that.

 

And yes I have a gyno appointment tomorrow to see whats going on. If she doesn't find anything infection wise, then what do you suggest I do to treat it? 

[Adir]

So basically, the burning sensation is due to vaginal dryness. Why that's happening I don't know...
It's dry as a towel in there I've never felt that before.

Urine test, thyroid test, and vaginal swab test are all clear.

I have hormone tests coming up if my period comes. There aren't any vaginal moisturizers available here.

Literally this is the sole source of my stress & anxiety now I was doing so great before this. And when I can put it aside it's fine too.

 

Would love some tips/insight pleaase.

 

I'm sure AD or WD have caused hormonal imbalances leading to dryness... I have no numbness or like lack of pleasure.

I just want help.

[Vancouver1986]

On 12/4/2022 at 9:15 PM, Adir said:

For the past 4 days I have been having a burning feeling in the vagina. I did a urinary test and it was all clear so no UTI. I'm hoping to god its not PSSD or something? It's a constant burning feeling down there, no abnormal discharge. Do you think its WD related? I tried searching here but there was so many other symptoms going on that I didn't find anything resembling what I have. I have slightly less libido during WD, but tbh November was hell so it was the last thing on my mind. In my window libido was fine, I was able to orgasm too. 

Yep. Unsuccessful Disastrous Seroquel I.R. Liquid Taper this past March/April attempt is when it started for my body. Well, I actually had it start earlier in my body. I took the b/c shot in late 2022, because I got home from an in-patient faciility a 3rd time within 6 months, & I was significantly unwell in W/D and also significantly unwell on this god-forsaken Lamictal being added. I took the b/c shot in case me being unwell was hormonal (which it never ever is) or making things worse. So, I thought, until I can get off all of this stuff that's decreasing my mental health and physical health, at least I can suppress my cycle & trick my body into thinking it's pregnant. I remember while having the b/c shot put in thinking: "I've made a huge mistake" but had no choice, because the Psych Ward a few weeks prior denied my request to go to an in-patient facility a 4th time in order to get off of the Lamictal & Seroquel X.R. that they had just added. So I had to try to help myself with any ideas that I had.

 

When the pregnancy-control shot wore off after the 3 months, it took 6 months for my period to come back. When I took the b/c shot 2 years prior on just 50mg Pristiq, my period came back instantly - literally. I stained a chair, because I wasn't anticipating it so soon. I figured it may take a few weeks or something. I dunno. Once my period finally came back in fall 2023, I then started noticing bizarre pelvic floor issues. I thought it was the Copper IUD, although I know an OB/GYN installed it correctly. So I had no clue what was going on. I started reseaching Perimenopause. lol. I waited 3/4ths of a year in genuine pelvic floor discomfort on/off, and then couldn't take the discomfort anymore so took myself to the local E.R. to get it taken out.

 

It obviously wasn't the Copper IUD causing the pelvic floor issues, but I still wanted to eliminate that variable. My long-term partner and I never really used the Copper IUD ($200) because I've been so unwell on these legal Psychotropics. The IUD was taken out like 5 years too soon.

 

Angie Peacock mentioned in 1 of her videos that AaltoStrata had mentioned to her that these legal Psychotropics mess with your dopamine/endocrine system/thryoid. Both Seroquels mess with your dopamine/endocrine system/thyroid. There we go. Finally an answer.

 

On top of Pelvic Floor discomfort, I'm so incredibly dry. I have zero discharge anymore. No vaginal discharge. No ovulation discharge. And it stings like hell sometimes. & my ovulation is incredibly mild. I'm too young for Perimenopause. A couple of months ago, when I dropped the Pristiq from 150-->100mg, it was unbelievably uncomfortable and musty. Like, what the hell? I didn't consent to this. After a few days, I had to take myself to the E.R. to see if there was anything they could Rx to give me some discharge. lol. The pain was a 7/10, so that's why I took myself. You wouldn't take yourself if it was just 5/10 or 6/10, but 7/10 is really pushing it. In Med School, they tell you that you have to ask your clients about their pain rating. It's really ridiculous that these legal Psychotropics & the w/d from them clog up the E.R.s around the world. It's unbelievably dumb.

 

The E.R. Dr said to just keep using the Gynelac you have at home. I bought it this past summer for ridiculous $30 while my body was still stuck in a chemical dependence on the Lamictal but having issues post Seroquel I.R. liquid taper attempt disaster. The Gynelac just seeps out as soon as I sit up, so no dice. It would've been cheaper to just use sex lube, asit's similar.

 

On 12/5/2022 at 4:29 AM, getofflex said:

The vaginal burning is pretty likely to be a symptom of withdrawal. Our nervous systems are in charge of all of our systems in our body so when they’re messed up anything in our body can get messed up. It would be a good idea to go to a gynecologist and have it checked out though. Perhaps you have a vaginal infection. 

Precisely. These legal Psychotropics are so unbelievably powerful. If you f with them, they will f right back with you - even harder. I'm not trying to be crass. I'm posting to warn other women + for other women to eventually find this & realize just what the hell is going on in their Anatomy & Physiology beacause of these legal Psychotropics.

 

On 12/12/2022 at 10:31 PM, Adir said:

So basically, the burning sensation is due to vaginal dryness. Why that's happening I don't know...
It's dry as a towel in there I've never felt that before.

Urine test, thyroid test, and vaginal swab test are all clear.

I have hormone tests coming up if my period comes. There aren't any vaginal moisturizers available here.

Literally this is the sole source of my stress & anxiety now I was doing so great before this. And when I can put it aside it's fine too.

Yea. The E.R. swabbed me 3x when I took myself recently to get an exam once/get a referral to an IUD clinic here to get the Copper IUD taken out (swabs were perfectly fine - duh), get the Copper IUD taken out another time (referral was taking too long or something) (& swabs were fine - duh), and then ask if there's some Rx they can give me to increase discharge...lol (swabs were fine - duh). It's the Pharmaceuticals. It's always the Pharmaceuticals. I've never had an STD before.

 

 

I'm still not anti-modern medicine. Consumer's choice. Just give Informed Consent. & signature as well if you like. I've seen recently on google that the State of Wisconsin has Informed Consent forms with signature spots. Nicole Lamberson and the Benzo Safety Initiative has also crafted up a document for Informed Consent. Great! That's all we ask.