thissucks: no idea what is wrong - took few drugs not many times

[thissucks]

Original title:  no idea what is wrong with brain, took few drugs not many times

 

Hi I have no idea what is wrong. I used to be an artist very creative, motivated, kind, caring, anxious, but calm and loving and never irritable. Before the incident I was still a great student and person thought I was lethargic depressed and apologetic over a life event at times. Though I was still very loving and excitable. I tried 3 different brands of combined contraceptives within 4 weeks with days gaps inbetween after this had lasting headaches that jump around head and severe moodswings where felt angry and massive brain fog/cognition problems. But was normal some days. I had been on mini pill for few months previously but did not have these problems. Headaches all day everyday for few months I had neck problems and cervicogenic headaches after about 7 months I managed to get rid of or something like that.

 

But before that I tried amitriptyline 10mg for them once. Had ringing in ears for few seconds and funny lights, then went to bed for few hours when I woke up had 0 emotions, then became kind of angry feeling briefly, then was mellow the rest of the day with depressed voice. Next day had severe headache and had irregular heartbeat next few days. Still had the headaches at this point so I was worried about drug and everything and stopped sleeping properly and was very anxious. Got frustration in head and irritated most days. Took the other drugs I wrote about inside the next few months (diphenhydramate, CBD oil, zolpidem, diazepam) and all of them were just bad and foggy and brain gone. Diazepam made me feel relaxed muscles but that was it. And pregabalin made me feel hot and crazy. Become constantly irritable and apathetic, lost all my anxiety and didn't care anymore. I got worse the longer this went on in terms of not being able to be my old self again...

 

I'm 23 (well 24 now probably). I was 22 last year. 😕 Lost my 23 year to all of this. Sigh. Probably lose rest of my life. I worry I have always been slightly neurotypical but I never had mental health problems in terms of moodswings or anything like that. I did have poor cognition if I was crying a lot and stressed I think. But that was all. I was a very motivated student and artist etc.

 

I have no idea. I read drugs all round like antipsychotics damage the brain. I don't know why these drugs are legal if they cause permanent effects. And I was stupid to take drugs or stress over them or whatever is wrong with my brain.

 

Did these drugs do any damage? How do they work and why are drugs damaging the brain? Am I mentally ill?

 

So drugs I took that seemed to cause problems were: 3 different brands of birth control combined contraceptives maybe 7 pills total, amitriptyline 10mg once, diazepam 2mg once, diphenhydramate 50mg 4 times, pregabalin 25mg once, zolpidem 10mg 5 times.

 

Thank you. I hope you all find hope.

 

Edited October 8, 2022 by ChessieCat
added original intro title before shortening

[thissucks]

I appreciate any help.

[manymoretodays]

Hi there thissucks and welcome,

On 10/8/2022 at 10:24 AM, thissucks said:

Did these drugs do any damage? How do they work and why are drugs damaging the brain? Am I mentally ill?

 

I think likely not on any permanent damage.  They do change the brain somewhat when taken, the antidepressants and benzo's do anyway.  It is reversible I believe though.  I don't think you are mentally ill.

 

I really can't comment much on the birth control pills, as that is out of our area really.  But......I do think that the effects you felt that correlated with when you took them...... was probably a good sign you might try something non-drug for contraception.  Talk to an Ob-gyn about that.

 

What the drugs do:

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made.  The CNS likes stability. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.

 

 

So ^ that kind of explains what might be happening now.  It looks like you took a number of different psychoactive drugs, each for a short time.  That could have very much confused your CNS, and led to any present symptoms.  I'm hoping that time, and no further medications/drugs may resolve most of your present symptoms.  And allow your nervous system to go back to baseline.  Many of us adopt non-drug coping practices to help us get through until completely healed.  I think that your chances are great for complete healing.  And especially if you can find non-drug ways to deal with life's ups and downs while so young.  You'll be set for life.....better prepared than most of us were.  It's no crime to try talk therapy, or learn yoga, or do any number of things to help cope with life in general.

 

Ideas to get you started can be found in our Symptoms and Self Care forum

Look at some of the top pinned topics there that apply, and you might find some good practices that help you cope now, without further drugs.

I would recommend that highly to you.  Look at the non-drug coping with emotions, and neuroemotions.  Some of the first posts have nice indexed lists of links to topics useful for non-drug coping.

 

Could you give us a bit more of your timeline with the psychoactive drugs you mentioned at the end of your post.  That would best be done in a signature format.

See:  How to Summarize Your Drug History in Your Drug Signature (just click on the underlined passage to see how to do that)

 

I hope this offers you hope as well.

Best.  Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

Edited October 11, 2022 by manymoretodays