Rick1785: Lexapro, vaccine, desoxyn?

[Rick1785]

I started taking adderall 2003 for ADHD. 30-60mg. When adderall stopped working in 2018, My doctor switched me to desoxyn (methamphetamine) 25mg a day. 

 

I started taking Lexapro 10mg for anxiety in 2005. I was on it for 16 YEARS (no doctor ever bothered to take me off) starting in 2005 and ending last year when I - like an idiot - decided to stop taking it cold turkey. My "psychiatrist" gave me NO guidance whatsoever on tapering or withdrawal. This was July 4. Around that same week, I got the Johnson and Johnson Covid Vaccine.

 

Within 2 weeks of quitting, I broke out in severe brain fog, body pains, insomnia, depression, anxiety, visual disturbances, basically every symptom imaginable. I originally attributed it to the covid vaccine. I started having blurry vision around October 2021 and was diagnosed with Optic Papilloedema (swelling of the optic nerve). I was functioning ok until December , when i decided to stop Vaping (nicotine and also go off my Desoxyn). The Months of December-March were HORRIBLE. I lost all ability to feel most emotions except sadness. Insomnia was worst during this time. could not sleep for more than 1.5 hours at a time. 5-6 wake ups per night.  I started working out like crazy and doingt a carnivorous diet and that helped alot.  Together with the motor complaints I had, they thought I had multiple sclerosis and referred me to a neurologist who put me through all sorts of tests, MRI's, 72 hour EKG's , neuropsychological testing. While seeing the neurologist, i was put on a course of Ciprofloxacin for what they believed was "prostatitis" and during the course, I started experiencing the WORST pressure headaches of my life. Another MRI and a spinal tap, I was then diagnosed with Idiopathic intercranial hypertension (pseudotumor cerebri) - buildup of spinal fluid in my brain due to unknown cause. Had to take an awful diuretic to help the headache symptoms. Fortunately that subsided. The 1 month ago, started developing severe pelvic, bladder, and prostate pain again. Once again told I have prostatitis , given 3 weeks of amoxicillin, given a cystoscope, urodynamic testing, MRI's ultrasounds, etc. and symptoms have subsided maybe 80%, but the nerve pain in my pelvis (shooting pain to the perineal area) is still debilitating. Currently trying to do Pelvic floor exercises and I'm seeking out a chiropractor who can hopefully help.  Oh, and I was told not to drink Coffee because it irritates the bladder, so I had to go off of that 3 weeks ago. 

 

Before July of Last year, I was a successful Attorney, making over 400k a year, living in a beautiful 2 million dollar home on the water. I now have to sell my home and downsize my entire life because I simply cannot do my job anymore. The brain fog is the WORST. I have no organizational skills anymore. I have no Drive. My lust for life is gone. I have socially withdrawn. I cry ALL the time.  I can't be social or talk to people like used to. My verbal fluency has regressed to that of a child. It feels like I know what I'm doing in my brain, but I can't turn thoughts into actions. My neuropsychological exam stated that, although my IQ is 130, My performance on the test is of an average-below average person and does not match the profile of a lawyer. 

 

The doctors have been no help. They don't have any answers. They all think it was the Covid vaccine that caused this, and honestly, it may have played a part in it, but I know that the years of poly-pharmaceutical use was also a cause.  I just want this to go away. I cant live like this anymore. HELP

[manymoretodays]

Hi there Rick1785,

Welcome.

 

And oh my, what a story you have.  I am so sorry for your suffering to date.  Much of which, yah.....likely may have been avoided with tapering, and an alternative to Cipro.  Hard to know for sure, but the CT off Lexapro did not help anything.  Nor the ?CT off Desoxyn.  We do advocate tapering of stimulants too, and nicotene if possible.  Hope you've got the nicotene beat still.  I'm an ex-smoker at this point.  (cautious yay!)

 

Don't.....I know it's hard.......beat yourself up inside.  I mean the "I wish I knew then what I am finding out now" type of thinking.

 

 

I've pieced together a bit of a timeline, which you can put into your signature with any corrections.  The signature will then be shown below each of your posts and helps us to, at a glance, know what is happening with any subsequent tapers, as well as giving an idea of your drug exposure and WD (withdrawal) history.

I'll share:

2003 Adderall 30-60 mg until

2018 switched to Desoxyn 25 mg/day

2005 Lexapro started 10 mg and then CT 2021 July

(Covid vaccine July 2021)

December 2021 went off Desoxyn and also quit vaping nicotene

 

How to summarize your drug history in your signature(click on the underlined passage to get to the link, go to the first post and follow the instructions for creating your drug signature

 

So yah, WD and also some extenuating circumstances have not been good for you, to date.  Again......so sorry.  I mean I am.  Ciprofloxacin, I know too, can be tough for some, with adverse reactions.  Do file reports for what it's worth with the FDA.  I mean it may add up and help someone else someday too.

 

Let's get you started.  I'm going to load you with information as I don't know what you've read, here or elsewhere.  Take it slowly, but take a look.  Appreciate you sharing your story here.  Also some of your current symptoms described do sure sound like protracted withdrawal syndrome.  And do often resolve with time and patience, sometimes a small reinstatement helps, best done immediately when symptoms occur, but sometimes help later too.  So I'll give you the link to that topic today too.

 

Here at Surviving Antidepressants, it is recommended that a person taper by no more than 10% of their current dose with at least a four week hold in-between decreases.  The 10% taper recommendation is a harm reduction approach to going off psychiatric drugs.  We generally apply this method for all psychoactives we deal with here.

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

The windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

Dr.Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made.  The CNS likes stability. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system.  

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Some topics addressing some of the symptoms you mentioned, and some do offer suggests for self care, non-drug coping practices

 

Neuroemotions

 

Apathy, anhedonia, emotional anesthesia, emotional numbness

 

"Change the channel" dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

Brain fog: blank mind, comprehension, concentration cognitive and memory problems

 

Derealization or Depersonalization(DP/DR)

 

Okay.  I'm sure I have not addressed all your concerns but you've got a small library now that you are armed with. 

Hoping we can help with your journey of now healing and recovery.

 

This is your introduction/journal page where you have now introduced yourself to the community, you can ask questions here regarding your case, give updates, communicate with us,  and just keep a record of your journey.

 

Best.  Love, peace, healing, and growth,

moderator many more todays(mmt)

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Rick1785

 

On 10/12/2022 at 8:44 AM, Rick1785 said:

Within 2 weeks of quitting, I broke out in severe brain fog, body pains, insomnia, depression, anxiety, visual disturbances, basically every symptom imaginable.

 

These sound like acute withdrawal symptoms, followed by more uncommon protracted withdrawal symptoms that may have been misdiagnosed as various physiological disorders, which unfortunately is not unusual. 

 

Your Lexapro withdrawal may have been exacerbated by your methamphetamine withdrawal and perhaps antibiotic treatment (we've seen that quite a bit here, too).

 

When people have protracted withdrawal, often reinstatement of a very small amount of the drug is enough diminish the symptoms. Citalopram, escitalopram's gentler sibling, may be substituted for escitalopram. You might get the prescription liquid and reinstate 1mg to start, see if that helps. Please let us know how you're doing.

[Rick1785]

I just wanted to give an update on how I am doing. In short, some things are better and some things are worse. Many of the physical symptoms have gone, but I'm experiencing new ones. Between October and January, I tried reinstating extremely low doses of both liquid citalopram and liquid zoloft (not all at once- one after the other).Maybe 1/10 of the lowest effective dose/1-2 drops of liquid per day. I started SUPER small. Both medications, even at these low doses, caused some VERY bad anxiety (I felt like my neurons got overexcited) and I was forced to go off of them around January.  Soon afterward, I started getting random panic attacks. Like full blown panic attacks where I thought I was gonna die. Most of them happened at night and in the morning. They are still happening now.

 

In mid March, I was put on a rather high dose of doxycycline followed by Azithromycin for a bad infection. The second day into the Azithromycin I completely lost it. Anxiety ,  panic, heart palpitations, irregular and skipped heartbeats, LITERALLY NONSTOP FOR DAYS. It got so bad that i  had to go to the ER twice to make sure I wasn't having a serious cardiac episode. I am now awaiting some cardiac tests to rule out anything serious. 

 

Bottom line is that, as of today, After  21 months after stopping Lexapro Cold turkey and 16 months after stopping Desoxyn/Methamphetamine, while some physical symptoms have improved, my mental state isn't much better than it was before. I feel like my nervous system is EXTREMELY sensitive to ALOT of things now - namely FOOD - even healthy food without preservatives. Big meals  are a no-no, especially at night. Too many carbs, for some reason, are problematic. Even healthy carbs like Quinoa and whole wheat give me problems.  Watching SCREENS is a big one. I just start getting so anxious looking at my phone or watching TV that I just can't. My girlfriend is annoyed that I never want to watch tv in bed at night. I'll start getting stressed out and a have a mini panic episode, which will in turn  completely mess my sleep up for the night. I will get up 5+ times to use the bathroom, toss and turn, be anxious the whole night etc.

 

My question is .. is it common to STILL have these symptoms after SO long without the drugs?? Is it normal to still feel chronically stressed, anxious, depressed, and unfocused? Is this just how God Made me and do I have to deal with this the rest of my life?? Its been SO LONG since I've been completely unmedicated (20 years)...I don't remember all what I was like without the drugs, but I DO remember being able to feel happiness, excitement, and fulfillment. I'm praying that I haven't done lasting damage to my brains reward system and happiness center.

 

These panic attacks SUCK. Its almost daily for the past 3 months that I've dealt with them. I try not to "fight" the symptoms when they happen. (Anxiety Mentor on youtube has really helped). But I'm just really sick of the windows and waves. Seems like more waves than anything. 

 

Oh, and the panic attacks are the worst when I'm JUST about to fall asleep. As I am laying in bed, almost every night, literally immediately as my body is losing consciousness and going into sleep mode, some kind of alarm is triggered in me and my heart just decides to pound out of control. It keeps me from getting to sleep until VERY late and sometimes not at all. 

 

I stopped drinking alcohol and coffee, I still exercise frequently (Dr. okayed pending my test results), and my diet is SUPER healthy, but still havent gotten much relief. If anybody has any more suggestions, videos I can watch,  I'm all ears...

[Altostrata]

Sorry to hear you've had these accidents.

 

Please read the responses you've already gotten this topic.

 

Before further discussion, Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

[Rick1785]

Just an update , I am still battling long term withdrawal after almost 2 years of being off Lexapro. Seems like every week I have a new physical symptom. Panic attacks have gotten a little bit better.  I've been dealing with daily pressure headaches, which have improved slightly , but are still present daily. Anxiety, stress, body position seem to trigger them. Brain fog continues to be an issue with work. I cant drink ANY alcohol anymore as I get horrible rebound anxiety the day afterward. I take 1/2 a teaspoon of magnesium citrate each night  ("Calm" brand powder) , the fish oil was causing brain fog so I had to stop it. However, I've noticed that eating salmon like 3x a week really helps - especially wild caught if you can afford it - better omega profile. Also, I am convinced that limiting the amount of protein you eat at night makes a huge difference in sleep quality. 

 

I have found the amino acid TAURINE makes a HUGE difference for me all around. It gets rid of about 75% of the anxiety and cardiac/tachycardia symptoms, helps me sleep better, and just takes the edge off. Also I find that it helps me to keep my heart rate down during cardio workouts. Getting the dosage right is challenging ... they make it in 500mg and 1000mg capsules, which are WAY too much for me. I've seen some people who take 1-3 g per day but that amount makes me WAYY groggy the next day. I split a 500mg capsule and dump out about 60-80% of it and that much seems to do the trick (somewhere between 50-200mg is the sweet spot) With any new substance, I start SMALL.  I take it 30 minutes before bed along with half a teaspoon of magnesium citrate powder. Also, in my experience, tolerance is a side effect of anything that helps you go to sleep/ affects GABA receptors, so  I try NOT to take it any night that I don't absolutely NEED to.  Anyways, I will update you all as new developments occur. 

 

This is not medical advice and I am not a doctor. 

[Altostrata]

Before further discussion, Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[ADWDSupport]

On 10/12/2022 at 10:44 AM, Rick1785 said:

This was July 4. Around that same week, I got the Johnson and Johnson Covid Vaccine.

 

Within 2 weeks of quitting, I broke out in severe brain fog, body pains, insomnia, depression, anxiety, visual disturbances, basically every symptom imaginable. I originally attributed it to the covid vaccine. I started having blurry vision around October 2021 and was diagnosed with Optic Papilloedema (swelling of the optic nerve). I was functioning ok until December , when i decided to stop Vaping (nicotine and also go off my Desoxyn). The Months of December-March were HORRIBLE. I lost all ability to feel most emotions except sadness. Insomnia was worst during this time. could not sleep for more than 1.5 hours at a time. 5-6 wake ups per night.  I started working out like crazy and doingt a carnivorous diet and that helped alot.  Together with the motor complaints I had, they thought I had multiple sclerosis and referred me to a neurologist who put me through all sorts of tests, MRI's, 72 hour EKG's , neuropsychological testing. While seeing the neurologist, i was put on a course of Ciprofloxacin for what they believed was "prostatitis" and during the course, I started experiencing the WORST pressure headaches of my life. Another MRI and a spinal tap, I was then diagnosed with Idiopathic intercranial hypertension (pseudotumor cerebri) - buildup of spinal fluid in my brain due to unknown cause. Had to take an awful diuretic to help the headache symptoms. Fortunately that subsided. The 1 month ago, started developing severe pelvic, bladder, and prostate pain again. Once again told I have prostatitis , given 3 weeks of amoxicillin, given a cystoscope, urodynamic testing, MRI's ultrasounds, etc. and symptoms have subsided maybe 80%, but the nerve pain in my pelvis (shooting pain to the perineal area) is still debilitating. Currently trying to do Pelvic floor exercises and I'm seeking out a chiropractor who can hopefully help.  Oh, and I was told not to drink Coffee because it irritates the bladder, so I had to go off of that 3 weeks ago.

Hello,

 

I am sorry you have been through all of this.  It sounds like alot of layers and variables with lexapro and amphetamines combined.  I really hope this doesn't get me kicked off of here, but I have definitely seen the covid vaxx exacerbate ssri withdrawal in the work I do in the world.  I've seen brain fog, body pains, insomnia, depression, anxiety, visual problems, POTS, extreme headaches, tinnitus, and muscular problems after it when the ssri taper had not had side effects prior to...or seen those symptoms in people not on ssri at all, but post vaxx. It seems like the vaccine most definitely flares up inflammation in the gut and the brain, and I have heard more than twenty people reporting they were offered psych drugs in response to adverse reactions to the injections who were not on psych drugs to begin with because they were told by er doctors and pcp that there is no way the vaccine could have caused that and they must have mental health problems. 

Im not saying that is what caused all of your symptoms, because obviously 16 years of lexapro could also cause all of these protracted withdrawal symptoms too.  Just to report what I have seen happening around me. 

 

Glad the Taurine offered some relief and that you are able to exercise.  Have you tried early morning sunrise exposure, the first hour of sunlight is the most healing to the whole nervous system and hormones.  Carnivore does seem to be the way. 

[Altostrata]

On 7/21/2023 at 6:15 PM, ADWDSupport said:

I really hope this doesn't get me kicked off of here, but I have definitely seen the covid vaxx exacerbate ssri withdrawal in the work I do in the world.  I've seen brain fog, body pains, insomnia, depression, anxiety, visual problems, POTS, extreme headaches, tinnitus, and muscular problems after it when the ssri taper had not had side effects prior to...or seen those symptoms in people not on ssri at all, but post vaxx. It seems like the vaccine most definitely flares up inflammation in the gut and the brain, and I have heard more than twenty people reporting they were offered psych drugs in response to adverse reactions to the injections who were not on psych drugs to begin with because they were told by er doctors and pcp that there is no way the vaccine could have caused that and they must have mental health problems. 

 

@ADWDSupport this is not helpful. Please do not post any more of these covid vax speculations without good evidence that the vaccine is responsible.

[Altostrata]

@Rick1785 thanks for adding your drug history in your signature.

 

On 10/12/2022 at 8:44 AM, Rick1785 said:

I was on it for 16 YEARS (no doctor ever bothered to take me off) starting in 2005 and ending last year when I - like an idiot - decided to stop taking it cold turkey. My "psychiatrist" gave me NO guidance whatsoever on tapering or withdrawal. This was July 4. Around that same week, I got the Johnson and Johnson Covid Vaccine.

 

Within 2 weeks of quitting, I broke out in severe brain fog, body pains, insomnia, depression, anxiety, visual disturbances, basically every symptom imaginable.

 

This does indeed sound like classic antidepressant withdrawal syndrome, which is seen in its most severe form after cold turkey.

 

Since withdrawal can cause one's nervous system to become sensitized, the subsequent drugs, alcohol, etc. might have set you back. But we have seen protracted withdrawal syndrome can last for years, generally with very slow recovery. 

 

Since you have seen some improvement, that's a good sign.

 

How have your symptoms changed in the last month?