dogsaremymedication: Paxil - unexpected cold turkey

[dogsaremymedication]

My SSRI journey has been short...

 

3 months ago I was prescribed 20 mg of Paxil. No negative side effects. 

 

Without getting lost into the details, I unexpectedly lost my job (+ health insurance) AND had a family emergency that drained my savings. I quit paxil cold turkey. I was on it for 80 days and   have been off it for 8 days. The major withdrawal symptom has been significant dizziness/vertigo. I have also had headaches, nightmares and nausea - though these could be attributed to other things + and my baseline before medication was poor. 

 

I knew this wasn't the right way to handle this, but panicked. I hoped that 80 days was not enough to have as strong of a dependence, and that prolonging the drug in my system would not be helpful. Moreover, if I continued with the last 10 pills and still had to stop cold turkey, that would be slightly worse. Obviously without a doctor's support, tapering/continuing was impossible. 

 

I did initially try to continue the prescription without insurance, but was unable to get my doctor's office to prescribe without an appointment + they would not take me as an uninsured patient. I tried a couple different avenues of finding a doctor for support, and am currently on a waitlist for a telehealth doctor.

 

When I do finally connect with a psychiatrist, I do not want to continue on medication long term, but unsure of starting again just to taper. Again, at just 80 days on, should I just power through the withdrawals? Looking at the list of withdrawal symptoms, all of those symptoms are in my baseline outside of brain zaps, irritability and dizziness. 

 

I want to be clear that I am not suicidal (or have ever been) but for the first time in my life, I feel hopeless. My core belief in my mental health is to power through and know that my body is not reacting to reality. That anxiety is simply my cavelady brain attributing fear inappropriately, and that with time and tools, my brain will not fear the world.  I do all the "things" to fight for good mental health. Extensive talk therapy, meditation/breathing/yoga, vagus nerve stimulation, regular exercise, journaling, supplements, volunteering, special diets, dogs!, no alcohol, no caffeine, etc.  Medication was always on the list as a supportive aide, but as a last ditch effort. 

 

Well, I am at that last ditch 

 

My mental health has become untenable. I am not sure if it has gotten worse as I have aged, but I am exhausted from feeling this way with no reprieve. I could go on about my specific ailments, but quite simply, I am in a constant state of panic and I feel no enjoyment in things that I love. I have always had the mantra that "this too will pass," but this has started to wane and feel untrue after 10+ years of fighting to feel better. Though most of the symptoms were still persistent on Paxil, after exactly 30 days, I woke up without being in constant panic for the first time in months. The only thing that gave me marked relief, has been proven to be a malevolent cure. 

 

[Shep]

Hi, @dogsaremymedication

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants.

 

3 hours ago, dogsaremymedication said:

I quit paxil cold turkey. I was on it for 80 days and   have been off it for 8 days. The major withdrawal symptom has been significant dizziness/vertigo. I have also had headaches, nightmares and nausea - though these could be attributed to other things + and my baseline before medication was poor. 

 

I understand the situation you're in regarding having lost your job and your health insurance. Since you live in Chicago, you should qualify for medicaid since you have no income. Have you started the process of applying? If not, please do so. 

 

Are you able to get in with a doctor or urgent care using a credit card or borrowing money from a relative or close friend? 

 

The reason I suggest this is Paxil is one of the hardest antidepressants to come off of. A cold turkey could disable you for months to years. It's a serious drug with a serious withdrawal profile.

 

And for many people, the worst of the withdrawal won't show up for a few weeks or months. So if you're having problems now, I would encourage you to see out a refill ASAP and get back on it. 

 

I'll leave you some links to read about reinstating:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

Tips for tapering off paroxetine (Paxil, Seroxat)

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Please note from the "About reinstating" thread:

 

On 10/8/2012 at 7:17 PM, Altostrata said:

Often a very low dose will relieve withdrawal symptoms. If, for example, you were taking 20mg Paxil and quit rapidly or cold-turkeyed only a few days ago, 5mg may be enough. After trying the lower dose for a week, you can always increase if you feel you need more. If you've been off the drug longer, your nervous system may be sensitized and it may be wiser to try a sample dose, such as 0.5mg-1mg, to see how you react.

 

This is exactly the situation you're in. So if you can get another prescription, please reinstate at 5 mg and see how you do.

 

The link I posted "Tips for tapering off paroxetine" shows how to get these low doses. 

 

Please post your thoughts and any questions you have.