FeralFlamingo stopped having windows - feeling hopeless

[FeralFlamingo]

Was on sertraline for 2 years before starting my taper, currently using the 10% method. Original dose was 59mg, on 24mg now, but I've stopped having "windows" entirely and currently only have "waves" of varying intensity. The physical side effects seem to still be slowly improving, however. Does losing your "windows" mean you're going too fast?

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.

 

On 10/30/2022 at 5:08 AM, FeralFlamingo said:

Does losing your "windows" mean you're going too fast?

It is likely that you may be going too fast tapering off of drugs.  You did taper off gabapentin this past year.  Can you give us more details about this taper?  Did you do it at the 10% every 4-6 weeks pace that we suggest?  

 

Also, can you please give us more details about your reductions of sertraline?  You say you are using the 10% method.  Are you doing 10% of the original dose, or 10% of the previous dose, so that the reductions become progressively smaller? And, how many weeks are you allowing between reductions?  Please put this information in your signature box according to this link: 

 

How to List Your Drug History in Your Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully, and be very cautious about changing our doses: 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Tapering is best done extremely slowly, and we generally taper by 10% of the current dose no more than once every 4 weeks, so that the reduction becomes exponentially smaller.

 

 Why Taper by 10% of my Dosage  

 

Tips for Tapering Sertraline

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

When we see more about your tapering of gabapentin and sertraline, we can give you specific guidance.  In the meantime, I suggest you stay on your current doses of your drugs.  Thank you. 

Edited November 18, 2022 by getofflex

[FeralFlamingo]

10% of previous dose, but I was doing more like 3 weeks than 4. I also started my taper going a lot faster, and pretty quickly after gabapentin withdrawal. Thanks for the response, I'm holding at my current dose until I even out some. I'll try to update my signature again, but I've been up and down so many drugs and dosages, it's just really hard to keep a detailed list of it all 

 

[getofflex]

16 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

10% of previous dose, but I was doing more like 3 weeks than 4. I also started my taper going a lot faster, and pretty quickly after gabapentin withdrawal. T

Give it at least four weeks sometimes even longer. There were times I had to go 6 to 8 weeks between reductions. It’s a matter of listening to your body. Your body will tell you when you’re ready for another dose reduction.

 

16 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

I'm holding at my current dose until I even out some

That’s fantastic. Holding is the best thing you can do to help your nervous system heal from tapering in withdrawal. Patient is the key to this. 
 

16 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

. I'll try to update my signature again, but I've been up and down so many drugs and dosages, it's just really hard to keep a detailed list of it all 

Do please keep your signature up-to-date. We mainly need the information for the last one and a half to two years. This is how we get people accurate advice, and we don’t want to mess you up by giving you the wrong advice.

[FeralFlamingo]

Thanks getofflex, holding at the dose of 24mg for a few months has made things a bit smoother. I've still been in a rough cycle of windows/waves, but was starting to feel a sense of progression. I did crash hard this past week though, waking up like how I used to with sweating/speedy heart rhythm/flu like symptoms, and having episodes of strong flu like symptoms with warm/burning skin and confusion/brain fog throughout the day. I didn't change anything or add anything as far as I can tell. Is it normal to suddenly feel a much stronger wave after a few months of more reasonable windows amd waves? 

[FeralFlamingo]

I stopped tapering sertraline temporarily due to intense symptoms, and for a while it seemed to help give me some stability. However, as I approach the 5th month of my hold, my CNS symptoms (tingling full body pain, fast heart rate, heated skin, sweating, etc) have started increasing in severity every week. Is it possible to just start being sensitive to sertraline and get the withdrawal-type effects just by taking it? Apologies for scattered thoughts, just desperate for relief

Edited February 7, 2023 by FeralFlamingo
spelling

[FeralFlamingo]

I stopped tapering sertraline temporarily due to intense symptoms, and for a while it seemed to help give me some stability. However, as I approach the 5th month of my hold, my CNS symptoms (tingling full body pain, fast heart rate, heated skin, sweating, etc) have started increasing in severity every week. Is it possible to just start being sensitive to sertraline and get the withdrawal-type effects just by taking it? Apologies for scattered thoughts, just desperate for relief

[Altostrata]

Please post updates and questions about your situation in your Introductions topic.

 

On 2/2/2023 at 9:29 PM, FeralFlamingo said:

Thanks getofflex, holding at the dose of 24mg for a few months has made things a bit smoother. I've still been in a rough cycle of windows/waves, but was starting to feel a sense of progression.

 

This was 6 days ago. Did anything happen in the last 2 weeks that might have upset your nervous system?

 

What are the new symptoms you've seen in the last 2 weeks? How are you measuring 24mg sertraline?

 

 

[FeralFlamingo]

does this reply count as inside my introductions thread?

 

No I went back through as much as I can but couldn't think of anything, I know I get flares from caffeine and stuff like that but I've been pretty strict and clean for like 2 months at least

 

I use a compound pharmacy to make 24mg pills, been on 24mg since Oct 2022

 

Symptoms that worsened recently are:

 

-Inner restlessness/widespread nerve pain, sortof electric-y feeling or burning

-Flu-like episodes with warm skin, full body aches and headaches/sleepiness

-Strong anhedonia and/or bursts of low mood

-Fast heart rate with lots of sweating and some shakiness for the first hour or so after waking up in the morning

-sh*tty memory/concentration 

[Altostrata]

Yes, you have added to your Intro topic, thank you!

 

In the last few weeks, have you accidentally skipped a dose, taking a dose off-schedule, changed your drug schedule, added any drugs, drunk alcohol, taken antibiotics, or had covid? Changed time zone?Any other big changes?

 

Please keep daily notes of times o’clock you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and after taking each drug, and your symptoms in between. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time o’clock on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can help identify symptoms that are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

[FeralFlamingo]

No alcohol for the past few years. Have been drinking exclusively water and occasionally homemade lemonade (lemons, water, allulose) Haven't skipped or accidentally doubled in 3 or so months, probably more. Schedule has been to take the sertraline around midnight every day for that amount of time as well. 

Using a pill calendar, partner is very helpful and keeps track of everything along with me.

 

Did go under general anaesthesia twice with some kind of pain killer type drip following few days each time, 2020 and 2021 about a year apart

 

Other medications:

- Topical trentinoin for acne

- Topical testosterone hormone

- Occasionally Nurtec for nerve injury pain (not for a few weeks though)

 

No covid or flu, vaccinated for both as well

 

The past few weeks for me have looked like (physical disability in both arms, currently unemployed)

 

DATE:

 

9ish a.m. Wake up with sweating/jitters but doesn't last past 11am
10 a.m. Eat something (banana/oatmeal/low-carb cereal/eggs) then shower

10:30 apply topical testosterone 

2 p.m.
^

l

Get a weird heavy feeling, usually fall asleep for a few hours

l

v

5 p.m. Either wake up from weird nap with grogginess that lasts a few hours, or was able to be awake but mostly bedridden with flu-like symptoms/all-over inner discomfort/restlessness/ prickly feeling skin/low or blank mood
7-10 p.m.  dinner(?) -salads, asian, generally low carb
11:30 p.m. apply trentinoin
12: a.m. Take 24 mg sertraline, go to sleep
Usually have no trouble sleeping, just wake up for bathroom

 

Various symptoms surge throughout the day, sweating/foot tapping, some bouts of dizziness 

[FeralFlamingo]

-I'd also like to add that I've started having vivid, entense nightmares whenever I'm asleep, at night or napping

[Altostrata]

16 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

Other medications:

- Topical trentinoin for acne

- Topical testosterone hormone

- Occasionally Nurtec for nerve injury pain (not for a few weeks though)

 

Please read up on adverse effects of each of these drugs. Any one of them, or a change in them, or a drug interaction, could have upset your system.

 

Please put ALL your drugs in the Drug Interactions Checker https://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.php

and copy and paste the results or a link to them in this topic.

[FeralFlamingo]

I never found any interactions prior, checking again but same thing. Only thing listed is food with sertraline and food with nurtec

 

sertraline  food
Applies to: sertraline

rimegepant  food
Applies to: Nurtec ODT (rimegepant)

 

Everything else is listed as (0)

 

Today more of the same, high heart rate with jitters and profuse sweating in the morning. Seems like I sweat a lot last night while asleep as well. Morning jitters go away but then become consistent brain fog/cut off from emotions, slight headache. Partner says I seem unusually consistent in the emotional blunting/detachment. Still eating super bland food only and water

 

[Altostrata]

Please supply a link to the drug interactions report. Have you read up on the adverse effects of each of your drugs?

 

Please keep daily notes of times o’clock you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and after taking each drug, and your symptoms in between. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time o’clock on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can help identify symptoms that are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

[FeralFlamingo]

https://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=2057-0,3459-0,2230-0

 

it doesn't let me add a 4th so I left off nurtec because I take it pretty rarely

 

I read about the other things I'm on and they are also topical. I'm also mostly experiencing side effects I had even before these topicals, earlier on in my taper when I was dropping more and faster. I've stopped the acne medication as a precaution just in case.

 

Aside from even more sweating my 24 hours is still mostly the same as I listed, next time I have a day where I can write constand detailed updates I'll try to but I'm mostly just concerned with whether to keep holding or not. With the hold starting to have diminishing returns, I'm leaning toward doing my next 10% reduction this week. 

[Altostrata]

Please add ALL your drugs to your signature, with start dates, stop dates, and dosages.

 

When did you stop tretinoin? Please do not make any other drug changes for a week while you observe the effects of this change.

 

FYI Topical testosterone can cause sweating.

 

It could be that what you call sertraline withdrawal symptoms are adverse effects of other drugs. You must take the responsibility to recognize the potential adverse effects of your non-psychiatric drugs. I should not have to Google testosterone and tretinoin, I have other things to do this Saturday.

[FeralFlamingo]

I've added the other medications. I'll hold off dropping for the next week since I stopped the tret.

 

I do understand that testosterone can cause sweating, however I've been closely monitored for over a year during my use and my hormones are balanced. I'm not sure how many other ways I can mention that I am already well aware of the nature of these other drugs, and that I have had episodes of these same symptoms before starting them. I truly appreciate your time and help as you're well aware that the support is hard to find IRL, but I never demanded fast responses or to interrupt your weekend. My question still pertains to my hold, and if my "crash" or flare 4 months post-dropping could simply be the nature of withdrawal, however I'll let this be my last message. Thank you for your time and wisdom. 

[Altostrata]

We have had people here before taking polypharmacy including  testosterone and other steroids. They almost always insist those drugs aren't causing problems, or they can handle those symptoms so no problem. Almost always, the steroids are a problem. Your "crash" might have been from a change in drug other than psychiatric drugs. You're welcome.

[FeralFlamingo]

Apologies but I wanna post again, in case this is of use to anyone (or maybe it's already common knowledge and I'm dumb)

 

I paused the tret but continued to worsen, and a few days later I was about to try urgent care. My partner had mentioned earlier that he saw my symptoms jump with my latest bottle from the compound pharmacy, but I told him that I had already called to verify that the dosage was the same, so I didn't suspect it. He said after some googling, he wasn't confident in the quality standards that compound pharmacies are held to vs factory:

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7605468/#__ffn_sectitle

 

I still have my regular sertraline pills, so I tried switching back to cutting. It's been an adjustment, but the debilitating physical side effects rapidly started improving? I'm staying off the tretinoin as well just in case, but with the timing, I'm currently a bit more inclined to believe that maybe there was a slight contamination of one bottle. I can't really prove anything, and it also could have just lined up perfectly with a really bad "wave" or something, but I think I feel safer with cutting+weighing after reading about the rate of acceptable  incident with compound pharmacies.

 

Also, I think maybe there's a misunderstanding with the testosterone; while definitely true that hormones are naturally/technically steroids, my prescription is not clinically considered as such. As a transgender male, my hormone product is the same that cis males use to have a healthy balance if they live with a deficiency. Performance-enhancement is pretty different, (and illegal/unhealthy) as the goal is to force the body to handle excess testosterone, which I think also might require an additive to even achieve. I'm well-monitored by my endocrinologist and have shared my drug history/withdrawal situation with her, and my testosterone levels have been predictable and balanced on the lower end of average. There certainly can be health risks, but she has not noticed anything in my blood work that indicates adverse reaction, and stopping suddenly could also upset balance. 

 

I'm gonna keep my hold now for 24mg, I've finally had some more "windows" this week but they've been brief and infrequent

[Altostrata]

Good to hear you're resolved your problem.

[littlebird]

Hello from a fellow Californian! Hope you're doing well.

 

5 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

Also, I think maybe there's a misunderstanding with the testosterone; while definitely true that hormones are naturally/technically steroids, my prescription is not clinically considered as such. As a transgender male, my hormone product is the same that cis males use to have a healthy balance if they live with a deficiency.

 

How has that been, testosterone and tapering? I talked to some friends who mentioned feeling some emotions more strongly than before, but feeling so good it was worth riding out the changes. 

 

5 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

There certainly can be health risks, but she has not noticed anything in my blood work that indicates adverse reaction, and stopping suddenly could also upset balance. 

 

Oh yeah, can't imagine stopping would be helpful with mental health!

 

5 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

I'm gonna keep my hold now for 24mg, I've finally had some more "windows" this week but they've been brief and infrequent

 

I'm still figuring out how to hold and when to move! Have you noticed when you hold for longer, your windows get more frequent/longer? I tend to get a little impatient, but I'm trying to figure out when patience is the move. Not easy!

[FeralFlamingo]

hi @littlebird!

 

I was going to wait to start testosterone until I was off every psych drug, but did end up starting after my 2nd gabapentin withdrawal and before my sertraline withdrawal. I had both needed to stop my birth control and was also struggling physically from a long sedentary state post nerve-injury, so starting testosterone actually did have some quick benefits by stopping my disruptive periods, and giving me just the slightest bit of energy for getting up and out more. I stopped for a while (under supervision from the endo) to see how I felt off and on, but honestly mentally I can't say I notice anything. I feel like I have less stress because I'm not thinking about my gender anymore, and I think that's the relief I wanted. Emotionally I think I still feel the same, or at least the windows and waves of withdrawal feel the same. 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

I'm still figuring out how to hold and when to move! Have you noticed when you hold for longer, your windows get more frequent/longer? I tend to get a little impatient, but I'm trying to figure out when patience is the move. Not easy!

This is the first withdrawal I've done a really long "hold". I was going to drop again soon because 4 months felt like so long, but I'm still having those "morning" symptoms? Like, 15 minutes after waking up, getting a wave of jitters and moodiness and sweating hands/feet (I hope it's not just me lol) Gonna stick it out a little longer to see if that calms down.

 

I didn't end up doing many long holds during my most recent gabapentin taper. I dunno if that was the right thing to do because now _this_ taper is hell, but it just felt like hell no matter what I did, stabilizing wasn't happening. A lot of my gabapentin symptoms also only subsided once I had been completely off for a few months. 

 

What I want the most is to heal from the emotional blunting, but I'm starting to think that'll only come once I'm psych-drug-free?

[littlebird]

Just now, FeralFlamingo said:

I feel like I have less stress because I'm not thinking about my gender anymore, and I think that's the relief I wanted.

 

Yessss, this is so good to hear! My mental health definitely improved once I moved along my gender journey, to a shocking degree in fact. In hindsight, makes sense being closeted would have lots of "side effects," but life really took a turn for the better in a lot of ways to get the heck outta there. 

 

6 minutes ago, FeralFlamingo said:

Like, 15 minutes after waking up, getting a wave of jitters and moodiness and sweating hands/feet (I hope it's not just me lol)

 

I kinda get this sometimes, but also it might be my morning caffeinated tea habit. Also sometimes stressed out thinking about my day that starts about that time. Also could be meds, I seriously don't know what's what. Noticed I'm losing hair in the shower last night, could be stress, but also it turns out hair loss is a side effect of Wellbutrin. What don't psych meds do?

 

8 minutes ago, FeralFlamingo said:

What I want the most is to heal from the emotional blunting, but I'm starting to think that'll only come once I'm psych-drug-free?

 

I've been wondering about this too, but also been having more strong emotions "bubbling up from the deep" so to speak, which feels like a move in the right direction. Hopefully! I've also been wondering if I need to do a little more internal work around emotional blunting, I think it was a trauma response.  

[PoetJester]

Hey FeralFlamingo,

 

I just wanted to add some commiseration on the intense, vivid nightmares every night or nap thing.  I had them for 3 1/2 years after stopping zoloft and zyprexa.  From what i've read it can happen from quitting, or lowering dose of either drug.  It's total hell.   Hopefully, if you've had a recent stabilization, they've gotten better.

 

Poetjester  

[FeralFlamingo]

13 hours ago, littlebird said:

Yessss, this is so good to hear! My mental health definitely improved once I moved along my gender journey, to a shocking degree in fact. In hindsight, makes sense being closeted would have lots of "side effects," but life really took a turn for the better in a lot of ways to get the heck outta there. 

@littlebird I'm really glad to hear that. CA definitely helps when it comes to access for gender related healthcare info and support, but there's still no roadmap for this stuff, so it's great to hear you've had this success. Congrats on your journey 😄

 

Also I've never even been on wellbutrin and I've heard about the hair loss. That sounds startling AF. True that stress can do it to, and all this med stuff can cause stress too, I dunno I just really hope for the best for your hair!

 

Sorry you're experiencing the blunting as well. It sucks that it can be both from meds and life itself, and there's no reason it can't just straight up be both I guess. I hope you're able to find some relief either way soon. I think the "internal work" is legit like you say though too, I certainly remember having bouts of feeling a kind of "flat" before all the drugs and looking at some stuff internally with my therapist's help was pretty eye-opening. Sorry to hear you're working with trauma alongside all the drug related stuff.

[FeralFlamingo]

5 hours ago, PoetJester said:

I just wanted to add some commiseration on the intense, vivid nightmares every night or nap thing.  I had them for 3 1/2 years after stopping zoloft and zyprexa.  From what i've read it can happen from quitting, or lowering dose of either drug.  It's total hell.   Hopefully, if you've had a recent stabilization, they've gotten better.

@PoetJester

 

I actually forgot how bad that was a week ago, thanks for reminding me I wrote that my memory is so **** lol

 

I think that's another thing that got suddenly like 50% better after I stopped using the compound pharmacy. I'm still having a lot of my "classic" withdrawal windows/waves, but the vivid nightmares are more just during the night rather than any random nap. I guess I've needed less naps just this week now too? It could have all been a bad wave maybe, but at this point I'm kinda curious to know what other folks experiences with compound pharmacies are, it makes me suspicious. Going back to my usual withdrawal rollercoaster feels more stable after how weird things got though at least.

 

3 and a half years is a long time, a very long time. I commend you on the resilience, and hope that relief speeds up for you soon. Vivid nightmares make mornings suck, rob you of feeling actually rested. 

[littlebird]

3 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

I'm really glad to hear that. CA definitely helps when it comes to access for gender related healthcare info and support

 

Seriously!!! When I first came out, I had a support group offered by my insurance and I think that's only because I live in an area that has a lot of trans folks, people who have the same insurance in other cities didn't have that option.

 

We were considering moving to another state a few years ago and while visiting, a group of teens sat down at the table next to us one lunch and we overheard them talking about how they don't feel safe having their pride pins on their backpacks since starting college in that state; they were afraid of hate crimes that had happened to others.

 

That little warning was a gift from the universe, thank god we didn't move there and find out the hard way. California, you take all my money, but you provide more safety!

 

3 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

Sorry to hear you're working with trauma alongside all the drug related stuff.

 

TBH, trauma is what got me on meds in the first place, if only I'd gotten a cPTSD diagnosis and treatment for that instead of meds! 

 

3 hours ago, FeralFlamingo said:

Vivid nightmares make mornings suck, rob you of feeling actually rested. 

 

UGH, they surely do! My dreams were more disturbing and weird last night than pure nightmare, and still I woke up feeling rough. The nightmare nights? Forget it, I need time to recenter before I'm any use to anyone.

 

I started using a nonverbal signal for my parter to say, "Nightmare night, give me a minute," or "I woke up feeling fine, go ahead and approach with work requests."

 

I worked under a psychologist for awhile who casually referred to the morning after a nightmare as having "morning trauma brain," which I'd never heard before, but absolutely fits.

[FeralFlamingo]

I guess there's not a whole lot of reason to post my story here while I'm using androgel, but just adding my own records I guess.

 

I only ever seem to get even a little relief from physical effects after dropping a dose. This process has been long and is causing many things in my life to remain on hold, and while going slowly has significantly reduced suicidal-ness and insomnia, the "waves" of everything else increase in frequency while the windows shrink. I'm starting to wonder if I'm just sensitive to sertraline at this point, due to a history of rapid on-and-off use of other prescribed psych meds. 

 

Being CT'd off gabapentin years ago is what started this mess for me, and normally I'd never cold-turkey again, but I'm also physically disabled from injury and need to start school for a career change so that I can have a job and support myself. My partner's support and reasoning is what's keeping me from just stopping completely at 19mg and being done with it, because I'm wondering what the point of a slow taper is if I'm already barely functional.

 

[FeralFlamingo]

Everytime I think I'm about to have a window, it turns into a crash/wave. I don't remember the last time I had a day without widespread neuropathy/paresthesia/burning all over, or the inner mental restlessness. I've been slow tapering for almost a year now, and while it keeps the suicidal thoughts to a minimum and allows me to sleep, all the other withdrawal effects are just constantly present. 

 

I need to be able to function when I go back to school in a few months. At this point, I think I'm willing to gamble with cold turkeying off of 19mg, since my ability to function has been so badly reduced during the slow method anyway. 

[littlebird]

1 hour ago, FeralFlamingo said:

I need to be able to function when I go back to school in a few months. At this point, I think I'm willing to gamble with cold turkeying off of 19mg, since my ability to function has been so badly reduced during the slow method anyway. 

 

On 4/7/2023 at 8:06 AM, FeralFlamingo said:

Being CT'd off gabapentin years ago is what started this mess for me

 

Ooh, the CT in the past makes me worry about you saying you want to gamble... can you taper down a little further before you drop off that cliff? Small changes in Gabapentin make big ripples in my brain and body, personally I've stayed way more stable going slowly.

 

Good to hear from you, hope you're wel!

[FeralFlamingo]

Hey, thanks for the message. My partner talked me down from going CT, and I also read through a lot of the documentation on here again to remember why it's so damaging. My second gabapentin taper went quickly and it was rough but it did end, so I guess I'm frustrated at how much my life has been on hold with this years-long sertraline taper. I'm holding at 19mg and have been able to be kinda functional, but I feel like I follow the pattern that Brassmonkey has described, where the first few weeks after a drop are sh*tty, but even when it stabilizes, the "stability" is still symptomatic or "WDnormal". I feel like I have a horrible bout of flu for a few hours every day like 10 hours after I take my sertraline dose, and the anhedonia is still pretty constant.

 

Again, I know my withdrawal journey isn't relevant anymore since I also take testosterone, but I think I'm going to at least post again whenever I go back to tapering down using the "brassmonkey sliding method" just for the sake of personal documentation I guess.

[FeralFlamingo]

Actually, if anyone does come across my thread, I'd love to know how long is too long to "hold" at a dose before it becomes detrimental? 

[FeralFlamingo]

Are there any withdrawal resources like survivingantidepressants for people who are also on hrt?

[FeralFlamingo]

Posting here again, I know pretty pointless but I'm just in a horrible "wave" and I son't know where else to turn. Papers and studies and documentaries keep exposing how awful this **** is, but the public's reaction is to just double down on pro-drug nonsense. All of my friends are on ssri's or other psych meds, and even the internet is scant on community availability for the drug-harmed. My partner and my therapist are the only people in the world that know how much time and life I've lost to these drugs, and while I'm infinitely grateful for them, the loneliness of being both stuck in chemically-induced depression indefinitely while being gaslit about it at every turn is  breaking me.