Poekatey: antidepressant cocktail - quitting cold turkey

[Poekatey]

Hi everybody!  I'm 23m, just turned! (Oct. 1st) I'm a student portrait photographer.

 

It is finally time that I've decided to come to this website to gather information, learn to cope, and or help me get past this dreaded withdrawal. So let me tell you where it all began since it's already been 46 days drug free.

 

Around late August, early September (the current year) I was having a severe migraine that left me with vertigo for a week and a half. I was currently out of work so I was desperate to find something that was going to work for me. Already pretty anxious considering that it was a new job I had just started I felt responsible for my absents. So I was desperate to solve it and find relief and I tried everything. I ended up going into the Urgent Care roughly three times before it finally went away. (I know this is a anti-depressant website, so I'm getting there.) One of the doctors there had prescribed me with Nortriptyline, I believe I was taking a 10mg dose for roughly a 4 days to a week. I don't remember the timeline well but I also wanted to try and see what I could do about my anxiety. (Mind you not knowing that the Notriptilyn was already an antidepressant. Remember I was desperate to find something that worked.) Fortunate for me they had a Urgent Care Mental Health center for quick access to psychiatric meds. So that's how I obtained Prozac. I tried Prozac at 20mg for a total of 3 days before I started noticing oncoming chest pain. It was pretty alarming but nothing that I felt was putting me in danger so I stopped the Prozac Cold Turkey thinking not much of it. Still continuing my dosage on Nortriptyline. So of course another return to the Urgent Mental Health Center, there to meet another doctor instead of the original that proscribe me the Prozac. The previous doctor told me that there was another medication I could try, that was Buspar or Buspirone. So I was prescribed from this new doctor the Buspar. I was instructed to take 10mg twice a day and I only took for two days before all hell broke loose.

 

I wasn't prone to a lot of panic attacks before the medication, maybe a couple throughout the year but it wasn't necessarily something I couldn't bounce back from. I don't remember the exact night but somewhere around early September, I remember waking up in the middle of the night and running ramped with intrusive thoughts. Thoughts that I didn't feel like were my own, I heard voices that weren't mine and of course I freaked out. I rushed out of my bed scared not knowing what was happening, so I ran to my mom and she told me I was having panic. I was told to get into the shower and try and rummage it out. After the whole ordeal I told myself that I was done with all the medication. So I stopped Cold Turkey when I had my panic. It wasn't the following day but after I experienced another panic attack. I was on edge for the rest of the week. My life was a blur it felt like I wasn't living in it. But everyone says you have to keep trying the medication for it to reach full clinical effect. So I tried the Buspar, I tried it for another week. 10mg twice a day, but I just keep feeling worse and worse. More brainfog, intense derealization. It wasn't getting better. I started to get nightmares, very vivid weird dreams. I start getting uncomfortable going to bed. I was worried about what I might dream. Stayed up all night basically tossing and turning, it was truthfully a nightmare. I never experienced these things before so I knew it was the Buspirone. So my solution to sleeping? Back to the Mental Health Urgent Care center. Where I had a doctor prescribe me with mirtazapine. I took one dose of 7.5mg and I immediately crashed, the following morning I felt like I wasn't alive and I believe I experienced a brain-zap while working. Luckily I never had that sensation happen to me again which I'm fortunate about but it was still scary none the less. So I'm at a loss, of course I didn't know what to do next so I decided, "Hey lets try that mental health center again." I assume they thought I was trying to abuse drugs or that I was selling them off-brand because I had showed up numerous times or something but I ended up having one of the worst interactions there with one of the social workers. I couldn't speak to another doctor, instead I only talked to them through the phone in which they suggested that try the Prozac one more time to see if it would cause chest pain. Since when I started the Prozac I was already in a cocktail of drugs. In the midst of this I was already taping thinking it was a good idea. I cut the pill and dropped my dose from 20mg a day to 10mg a day. Starting from the 11th and finished my taper on the 14th, to zero. (I know I tapered to fast.) On the last day i took one final pill of Prozac from the doctors instructions and of course mild chest pain.

 

Today on 10/30/22, I just started experiencing symptoms of hot and cold flashes through my body. I've been dealing with headaches, vertigo, light sensitivity, anxiety, my panic attacks have gotten better (and by better I mean they don't come as often) but the past three days have been awful. I've been in a crying spell ever since Friday and today I feel sick. I have insomnia and sometimes still weird dreams but not as vivid. I have had developed symptoms of Visual Snow Syndrome, where I experience closed eyes hallucinations, Palinopsia (after image), light sensitivity, floaters, and luckily nothing else but still a bothersome.

 

I take 2.5mg of Melatonin to help me sleep.

 

I was taking multi-vitamins but I stopped today because I thought it was contributing to my panic attacks for the past three days.

 

It's been one month, two weeks and 4 days (46 days total) since I've been drug free.

 

That's my story for now.

 

Edited October 31, 2022 by ChessieCat
removed real name/CC added more info after image

[Poekatey]

Some additional updates to what I have also been experiencing.

 

* I've been too nervous/anxious to watch television/ movies. I used to love going out to the movies with my partner but now that seems overwhelming and debilitating.  Sometimes I can handle watching TV a bit but it definitely comes in patterns and waves. (I even get anxiety watching Bluey...)

 

* I used to be an avid video game player. Did so much in that aspect that I built my own PC for that reason. Now I can't even think to play because of how much anxiety I experience. It's been hard to come to terms with but I hope I can at least get back on my feet soon. 

 

* I also developed tinnitus, but it definitely comes and goes. (I think I always had it mildly, but it's been loud as of late.)

 

I'll update more the more I can remember.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Poekatey

 

You've been on each drug only a short time, correct? You only took Prozac perhaps 4 times?

 

What was the initial effect of the nortriptyline on you?

[Poekatey]

Hello!

 

Correct. I took the prozac four times from what I recall. Three times on my first try with it. And then the last final dose from the docs instructions.

 

If anything the Notriptilyn just sent me into a good night's rest each night I took it. Made me drowsy like if I'd taken melatonin. Nothing unusual with it until I started taking the Buspirone.

 

I read online that Notriptilyn and Buspirone together can cause a serious interaction here. 

 

[Altostrata]

Many psychiatric drugs can cause serotonin syndrome when taken in combination.

 

It wasn't clear that you had take nortriptyline and Buspar together. When did you do that?

 

When you were taking nortriptyline and Buspar, did you also take Prozac August 29th - 31st? 

 

The addition off a THIRD serotonergic may have caused serotonin toxicity that you felt as chest pain. Prozac has a long half life that might have been involved in what you thought was an adverse reaction to buspirone September 1-2.

 

Whoever prescribed all these drugs together was remiss, as was the pharmacist who did not check interactions of these drugs.

[Poekatey]

So I stopped the Prozac the 31st of August, yes. But was still continuing the Notriptilyn and then started the Buspar the 1st of September.

 

Unfortunately I just feel like doctors just hand these out like candy.

 

Thank you for giving me this insite.

 

Luckily these past two days I've been having some good windows, I'm crossing my fingers I don't receed into a crazy wave. I just know the fights not over. Since I'm still dealing with derealization and this crazy brainfog. And most other symptoms.

[Altostrata]

It may be that you are recovering from the effects of taking all those drugs together. Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Please let us know how you’re doing.

[Poekatey]

Today's November 23rd, officially 10 weeks drug free from any sort of psych meds.

 

I wanted to sort of use this place as way to show my progress. Update how I'm feeling and what's been going on. 

 

So unfortunately I've been hit with what feels like a set back. Two days ago I got hit with a really really bad panic attack. Where I felt absolutely terror and dread; still thinking that I was gonna die or pass out. But still I acknowledged that it was a panic attack in the beginning so I suppose it's a good thing I recognized it. Weeks prior I was okay for the most part, still was facing derealization but not so much anxiety. Was finally able to handle some video games and shows on the Tele, which is definitely good progress for sure. I thought some parts of me where finally coming back, not that they ever left but more so the anxiety was taking over. I noticed I couldn't play anything overstimulating but still I was gaming which was nice.

 

I don't know why I had a panic attack, I think I triggered it by forgetting to take medication the prior morning. Or even that I drank no ounce of water that day and just had pure sugary drinks. I don't know. Maybe it was time for a wave, that I had a good lasting window for a while. All I know is from seeing posts on here and stories from around the web, recovery takes time. In retrospect 10 weeks isn't a long time all thought everyday feels like the longest. I'm still often affected by the thought that "What if I never took these medications, that maybe none of this wouldn't have happened to me." But I know I can't do that to myself. I'm just tired of going through this. I miss my old life. I'm scared of going out to groceries stores, car rides, watching shows because I just don't want to panic again. I'm scared of Elevator lifts because I experienced a panic attack on one of them! It's ruthless, a nuisance.

 

I'm currently looking to find a therapist and seeing what I can do to counteract this anxiety or find better coping mechanisms at least. 

 

My doctor is also sending me to get a CT scan to see if there's anything wrong with my head. I'm sure everything is gonna come back fine but just in case right?

 

I hope everything gets better soon. I have to start looking for another job because the job I'm currently working is going out of season. And the last place I want to be is stuck at home with these feelings an emotions. At least when I had my job I didn't have time to think about what it was I was feeling. I'm really tired of all this.

[Altostrata]

On 11/23/2022 at 4:09 PM, Poekatey said:

I think I triggered it by forgetting to take medication the prior morning.

 

What medication did you forget?

 

As explained earlier, it may take some months to recover from a serious adverse reaction to a psychiatric drug. It's very unlikely that you have a neurological condition.

[Poekatey]

I take blood pressure medication. Lisinopril 10mg each morning. If I forget to take my medication I usually just experience a tension headache.

 

But I also just experienced another panic attack probably an hour prior to this post. While having taken my blood pressure medication. 

[Altostrata]

What is your daily drug schedule, with their dosages? Forgetting to take a dose might cause upset for quite a while.

 

If you take blood pressure medication regularly, not taking it can cause a spike in blood pressure that can be dangerous.

[Poekatey]

 

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

What is your daily drug schedule, with their dosages?

It's just my Lisinopril at 10mg and I take it around 7-9am in the morning.

[Poekatey]

Gosh this second panic attack ruined me. I feel like I caught a fever or something. I feel incredibly awful. With a headache, increased tinnitus, upset stomach. I'm unsure if I need medical attention or it's just parts of the wave.

 

Let this pass please.

[Altostrata]

Have you looked up adverse effects of lisinopril and what might happen if you miss a dose?

[Poekatey]

There's not a lot of information about missing the dose. Besides it's not a beta blocker where it lowers down your heart rate and you feel physical effects from the medication. 

 

The thing is there's been times where I have missed my dose entirely or simply forgot to take it and took it in the afternoon. I never felt this kind of reaction before.

 

Like I said the times where I missed my dosage I would usually just get a tension headache. But nothing to this extreme.

 

I'd have to think that this is just a really bad wave because I'm doing what I'm suppose to do.

[Tranquilpeace]

@Poekatey

 

Hey there my friend. I'm by no means an expert and I very recently just went through a rough time with Nortriptyline. Much of what you are describing are side effects I suffered from and adverse reaction to that drug alone.

 

I'm still in the recovery process and struggle great deal lately with panick attacks and intrusive thoughts. It gets less and less, but I woke up today in a wave which is why I am here doing more research again.

 

If you get the chance feel free to go look at my story, it may give you some comfort and some things I learned along the way that may help you a bit.

 

Alto and the others on this site know what they are talking about. I encourage you to listen to anything and everything they share with you

[Poekatey]

Emotions have absolutely skyrocketed in this wave.

 

I'm getting weird feelings all over my body, hot and cold flashes. The need to get up and pace. I'm extremely worried and feel awful.

 

What do I do?

[Tranquilpeace]

@Poekatey

 

Hey man, I get that way still. And initially with the akathesia it was really rough.

 

Take a deep breath take a hot bath loaded with some Epsom salt and try to breath. The other thing you can try and do is tea. I make a cocktail of tea with tension Tamer, chamomile, and sleepy time with melatonin.

 

If you haven't already started, starting a daily uptake of Magnesium and Omega 3s really does help a lot.

 

But again I'm no expert. And am still going through some things my self from the nortriptyline. And the 6 weeks I was on nortriptyline was a lot shorter than most on these kind of drugs and I was placed on them for something completely separate than their usual treatment.

 

But these are things that I have been told on this site and things that helped me a bit.

 

From my understanding is your CNS and neurochemistry is just shocked and completely thrown off..all these side effects of yours are your body trying to fix itself. 

 

And with these drugs they directly affect things like the amygdala etc. Which are what we use to process everything from emotions etc.

 

So when that drug is gone, it just freaks out cause it has been changed and altered so severely

 

Hope you get to a window soon

 

[Poekatey]

Is there any way that this isn't a wave? So far the only waves I encountered were 1-4 days at best. And now I've been experiencing this since the start of last Monday carrying on to today. With new symptoms of physical fatigue, headaches, just feeling unwell. Even more increased dpdr, that I'm now starting to worry that it's physcosis related?

 

Could this really be just a wave?

[Poekatey]

I wanted to update and share that I will be starting another anti-depressant Zoloft at 25mg and hopefully adjust accordingly to that. I unfortunately can not endure this struggle anymore and want to feel better. I'm hoping my body, while sensitized, can transition into this new drug. 

 

My choice in this was because I had already initially wanted to start anti-depressants anyway. But I had an adverse reaction to the medication that stopped me dead in my tracks.

 

I guess I do have one last question, @Altostrata. Is it possible for me to adjust to an anti-depressant at the moment? Has there been cases like me before?

[Altostrata]

On 11/26/2022 at 9:40 AM, Poekatey said:

Besides it's not a beta blocker where it lowers down your heart rate and you feel physical effects from the medication. 

 

Yes, it is a beta blocker and yes it does lower your heartrate. If you skip doses, you're making your own problems.

 

On 12/3/2022 at 8:59 PM, Poekatey said:

Is it possible for me to adjust to an anti-depressant at the moment? Has there been cases like me before?

 

There are thousands of cases like yours on this site. We have been trying to give you our best advice based on 11 years of experience and thousands of cases. You do not seem to be interested in this.

 

You have a long history of drug switches. We do not provide peer support advice for drug switches for anything other than going off drugs. 

 

You may or may not feel better. Good luck. 

 

Please let us know when you want to come off your drugs.

[Tranquilpeace]

@Poekatey

 

Hey there Poekatey. Again I'm no expert in this stuff and by no means an I trying to give you medical advice.

 

But I have been flooding my mind with education on these things and just want to tell you what I think.

 

Look your drug history andnsudden changes are very quick almost back to back, you need to research the mechanisms that these medications work on and how they operate in our bodies to change our brain chemistry.

 

Right now you are hitting your neurochemistry and CNS like a pin ball. It's hard I know I get it and it's fricken terrifying process. I see people at work all the time that are going through these things in the psyc wards and man it made my experience even scarier.

 

Healing isn't linear, it is taking me much longer than what the Drs say it should take for someone who "only took it for 6 1/2 weeks" but I am still not completely through the woods on this thing.

 

But based off the advice of those supporters on this site and off of my own education and actually taking the time to read what people like Alto and others post I understand there is a deep and hard science behind this.

 

You haven't given your body your mind or your CNS a real legitimate **** to heal and get to baseline. Which is what you would need to do in order to find out what is going on with you. But from where I am and reading your history and what's going on with you, you are shocking your system over and over and over again, never allowing healing, never allowing yourself to get to baseline to truly see what is or isn't going on with you.

 

And all these different medications have slightly different mechanisms of action and some the same. It seems like you're taking your mental health down that rabbit whole so many people fall into. 

 

I know I only reacted to one and my story is different cause I wasn't taking it for depression or anxiety etc. But man the adverse reaction took me to the pits of hell literally. And if I had gone down the path you have I would of gone through the same thing of multiple different drugs and dosages just rocking my system everywhere to try and find the magic pill and instant relief.

 

But unfortunately it really doesn't t appear to work that way for anyone. I see it in my day to day work and I read so many stories like yours on here.

 

This place exists to help us get through those dark places these medications take us to. It's not easy or fast process by any means. But every wave leads to a window no matter how big or small and everyday we fight and persevere forward is another day that our body works to restore it's neurons, it's receptors, and its natural production.

 

I'll be praying for you that no matter your choice it works out for you and you get to feeling better.

 

Get on YouTube and watch Mykaila Peterson and her father Jordan on his experience, watch, Alto, watch Brooke S. Look up the success stories on here. Look at where they were at one point in time before they made it to their success. It will give you hope and strength to push forward.

 

I'm telling you it helps because then you understand that your not alone. That all of us here even though we take/took different medication are here for a reason. We are here for eachother to let eachother know there is light at the end of this long a** tunnel. And we can make it there.

 

Much love always my friend I wish you well