Storm365: getting better after 19 months off citalopram

[Storm365]

Hello,

My screen name is Storm365. I found this site back in July of this year, after I had tapered off of Citalopram 15 months earlier. I am so grateful for all of the success stories and just knowing that I am not alone on this journey to healing from antidepressants. I wish I had found it before my taper. Just like previous posts I've read, I found out I tapered way too fast and I ended up with multiple debilitating withdrawal symptoms from doing so, but the symptoms were not all at once. I tapered over the course of six weeks. And the withdrawal symptoms hit around 3 or 4 months after my taper. Most of my symptoms, such as the tinnitus, tight chest, confusion, muscle spasms, nausea, detachment from emotions, fear, panic attacks, heart palpations and sleep disturbance have subsided. But I am still having some trouble with "brain shivers", vertigo, and stomach gurgling, but the brain shivers and vertigo are starting to get better. I am having longer windows throughout the day now, where I am able to get things done around the house and take care of my kids.  

 

Back Story

I had my first panic attack after taking an over the counter sleeping pill in February 2014, woke up from my sleep, felt like I couldn't breathe, my brain couldn't even find the numbers 9-1-1. Finally I was able to get my thoughts together, at the time I thought I was dying, didn't know what was happening. Later I found out it was a panic attack. Multiple trips to the ER led me to be prescribed Xanax, which didn't help, took it maybe 3 times, never took it again.  In November 2014 I had a panic attack on the highway on the way home from work. About 5 months after that in March 2015 my doctor prescribed Klonopin, tried it for a week, it made me feel numb, I had suicidal ideation, so I stopped taking it cold turkey, no withdrawal effects, accept a weird feeling in the front I my head that lasted 2 sec., but went away after 2 years. After deciding to live without meds, my life was going well, I was dealing with my anxiety, facing my fears, exercising, and just living life to the fullest. Met my husband, got pregnant, around 6 months pregnant I had another panic attack while driving on the highway. I decided to stop driving and developed agoraphobia, didn't realize how bad it was until I was 3 months postpartum in 2016 and started to try and drive again. Still I decided not to pursue meds and I got through it, also while dealing with a health scare.

 

Fast forward to 2019, I started to deal with agoraphobia and anxiety again, through some encouragement from my dad I decide to try Lexapro 5 mg, took it but didn't see a difference, so my PCP at the time upped my dose to 10 mg, I started taking it for about 5 days before I found out I was around 4 to 6 weeks pregnant, I stopped taking it immediately, no withdrawal symptoms, had a good healthy pregnancy. Three months after my second son was born in 2020 I started dealing with derealization, anxiety, and a little bit of depression, we were in a pandemic and I couldn't find any one I could see in person, found this psychiatric nurse practitioner online, talk to her about my issue and she prescribed me 20 mg of Citalopram in August. The Citalopram at first worked well, I had no side affects upon taking it, I started driving again, everything seemed to be going well, the only issue I had was feeling tired, but I felt it was a small price to pay. I would drink green tea in the morning to help with the tiredness. Around January 2021 on a Saturday, I was working and needed an extra boost, so I took an energy supplement (in hindsight I now know it was a bad idea), it contained caffeine, panax ginseng, ginkgo biloba, green tea, ashwaghanda root, and beet juice. I also took the same supplement the day before, but for some reason this day was different. About 15 min after taking the supplement I started sweating, heart palpitations, and feeling like I couldn't settled, that led me to the ER. Test came back that I was not having a heart attack, they told me it was a panic attack, and told me it was okay to take my next dose of Citalopram. So I got home and I took it. From that day forward after taking my next dose, my nightmare continued; tingling in the feet, tight chest, dizziness, feeling out of it, veritigo, anxious, sweating, restlessness etc. Went to an urgent care three days later, advised to keep taking the Citalopram and gave my a prescription for hydroxyzine for anxiety, which would make me shake and shiver for at least 15 to 20 min after I would take it. I decided to not take the hydroxyzine after the second time, because I was afraid it was damaging my heart and nervous system. Talked to nurse who prescribed the antidepressant about week or two after the symptoms wouldn't subside, advised again to stay on meds. Symptoms continued for about four weeks before I decided that I was ready to come off the med. I never was able to stabilize again after that last panic attack, not sure what happened with the supplement, but I knew I wanted to stop the meds to see if I could get back to my normal self. So I was advised to go down to half every 2 weeks, until I was down to 2.5 mg and then it was a week there, then the last week was .5 every other day, in which I had the worst symptoms. April 5, 2021 was my last dose. After about 2 weeks off I was okay, except for heightened anxiety, sleep disturbance, haziness and slight dizziness, but I didn't really know if it was withdrawal or still the after affects from the supplement I took or both. Everything got worse around late July 2021, any withdrawal symptoms you can think of I had. I didn't know at the time that I would be suffering all the way up to now, over a year later.

 

I will say that I am getting better. Like I said earlier the brain shivers and the dizziness are still around, but a lot more bearable than it was three months ago. I ended up finding a therapist who has been really understanding and has helped me get through a lot of the symptoms using basic coping skills for anxiety. Remaining present and taking it one day at a time has helped me get to this point. I no longer having the doom and gloom feeling that I thought would never go away. Its a slow process, but I understand now that healing is definitely possible. Good luck to all in this battle to recover from these antidepressants. We will get there.

 

August 2019-Started Lexapro 5 mg, after a week went to 10 mg for 2 weeks, quit cold turkey (no withdrawal)

August 2020- Started Citalopram 20 mg

February 2020- Begin taper from Citalopram 20 mg:

    10 mg for 2 weeks, 5 mg for 2 weeks, 2.5 for 1 week, last week .5 every other day, next week 0

 

[Storm365]

Getting Better after 19 months off of Citalopram

 

Hello All,

 

My screen name is Storm365. I am new to the site. I was placed on Citalopram 20 mg in August 2020 because of anxiety and agoraphobia when I was 3 months postpartum, until March 4, 2021 where I began a six week taper, that I now know was too fast, because of this site. I had also been placed on Lexapro 10 mg, August 24, 2019 for the same reason, but only took it for 2 weeks, because I found out I was pregnant, stopped it with no withdrawal symptoms. 

 

My Story

I tapered Citalopram 20 mg over a course of six weeks which was advised by a psych nurse that I found online during the pandemic who also prescribed it. I decided to come off because I had taken an energy supplement that gave me a bad reaction. Had taken it the day before, but this time I had a really bad panic attack that I thought it was a heart attack. Went to the ER was told it was a panic attack. Got home and started having tingling in the feet, anxiety, night sweats, was disoriented, restless, just overall uneasiness for about two weeks. The Citalopram seemed to had stopped working at this point, so I visited an Urgent Care because of chest tightness that wouldn't go away, was prescribed hydroxyzine 2.5 mg as needed for anxiety and advised to stay on antidepressant. The doctor said my body was trying to rid itself of the supplement, and that is why I was having all of those symptoms. The hydroxyzine would make me shake for about 15-20 min and then I would calm down and feel sleepy, only took it 2 or 3 times. The anxiety seemed to had gotten worse, so after a month and a half of no relief, I decided that I wanted to stopped the Citalopram. I have had an MRI done, been to the doctor countless times for debilitating symptoms only to be told they couldn't find anything wrong. Most of the withdrawal symptoms such as tinnitus, chest tightness, emotional detachment, crying everyday, feeling like the floor is moving when walking, panic attacks, muscle spasms, sleeping for 15 min at a time, waking up with high cortisol levels, and severe dizziness has all stopped. But I still have the occasional brain zaps, mild vertigo, and I get at least 5-6 hours asleep a night. My brain zaps usually start around the afternoon for some strange reason.  I am thankful that I can now function as a human being now and enjoy my husband and kids. I was so hopeless months ago. I tried fish oil and B complex during my taper but it made my dizziness worse, so I haven't tried it since. Going to therapy, writing in my journal, listening to positive music and podcasts, and using ocean sounds for sleep have all helped in my recovery. I'm remaining optimistic that these brain zaps will go away one day, they are the most worrisome. 

 

So thankful to know that there are other people who have recovered, it gives me hope. I wish I had found this site sooner, I would've done better with my taper and probably escaped the brain zaps. But, I am now 19 months into my recovery and feeling a lot better.

 

Peace, love, and blessings to all who are experiencing this nightmare. It will get better with time. 

 

Edited November 5, 2022 by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Storm365

 

Thank you so much for posting that you have seen improvement since you went off citalopram in April 2021. As you know, stories about recovery are so important to our members.

 

Did you have withdrawal insomnia? Can you describe how your withdrawal symptoms changed?

 

Your remaining symptoms are

On 11/2/2022 at 8:21 AM, Storm365 said:

But I am still having some trouble with "brain shivers", vertigo, and stomach gurgling, but the brain shivers and vertigo are starting to get better.

 

Have you tried fish oil and magnesium supplements? See

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Fish oil in particular seems to help brain zaps aka brain shivers.

 

Please let us know how you’re doing.

[Storm365]

Hi @Altostrata,

 

Thanks for the warm welcome 😊, I am glad to be here. And I hope that my story can be encouraging to others as I remain optimistic that I will make a full recovery. 
 

Yes, I did have withdrawal insomnia. At one point I was waking up every 15 min, being jolted out of my sleep. Sometimes having panic attacks upon waking. Then after a month or two of that I started sleeping for an hour or two at a time and waking. Now I’m finally sleeping for at least five hours, sometimes six hours if I’m lucky.
 

My withdrawal symptoms gradually changed, at first it was slight dizziness and some anxiety during the taper and after a couple months of me being completely off still the same, but I was still able to workout, go the gym, take care of my kids, and drive. Around late July, a little over two months after my last dose I started having panic attacks, vertigo, chronic anxiety, agoraphobia, tinnitus etc. I didn’t know at the time it was withdrawal still happening until I started researching it, I kept being told it was anxiety. The panic attacks lasted for about a month, the tinnitus lasted at least four months, but the crying spells and the feeling emotional detached stayed a little longer after my last dose. I think at the one year mark in April of this year is when I really started to notice improvements. But I was still frustrated, because the brain shivers still exists. I wasn’t crying all the time, I could walk a mile without having a panic attack, was no longer afraid to be alone. It seems now most of my issues revolve around my digestion and the brain shivers. 

Right now as I’m typing this I am having a wave, where I am having brain shivers and brain fog. I forgot to mention the brain fog. 
 

I will try the fish oil for the brain shivers and the magnesium. Because I really want relief. Thank you for the info. 
 

 

[Hopemom3]

Hi @Storm365 

I would like to ask you about progress of your insomnia. I am 9.5 months off cold turkey of almost 3 drugs after very short period of time on it . My insomnia is so brutal. It did got little better but I got months of zero sleep. Now I can get 3-4 hr but not everyday. Every other day. I usually function better if I have some sleep. Can you tell me when you saw better improvement? I also have many more symptoms but many from beginning of process got better. Also have cortisol spikes in mornings very strong. And feel cortisol during day . My heart gives me clue . Please give me some hope. I also have kids and husband that wait for my recovery:(

[Hopemom3]

@Storm365. Hi I forgot to tag you in my previous reply. 

[Storm365]

Hi @Hopemom3,

 

I started to see improvements in my sleep some where around the 9 or 10 month mark of being off the antidepressant I was on. But, I tried not to focus too much on how much sleep I was getting at night, because it made me even more anxious. Sometimes I would try to nap during the day, which helped with some of the restless feeling. To help me sleep I listened to ocean sounds, meditation apps, or bedtime stories on audio. I was also having the cortisol spikes too, for those I did meditation, went for a walk, and wrote in my journal, also did deep breathing exercises. Napping may help a little if you are able to. 

 

I truly hope you find relief and are able to get more sleep, peace and blessings to you.  

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

You're on your way. Please do let us know how you're doing.

[Storm365]

2 hours ago, Altostrata said:

You're on your way. Please do let us know how you're doing.

I started taking 800 mg of fish oil in liquid form, about 3 days ago. It

recommended 1 tsp at 1600 mg once or twice a day, but I started with 1/2 tsp once a day to see how I would feel. I felt fine. Yesterday I switched it up and took 1/2 tsp during the morning and 1/2 during the evening. The brain shivers seemed to be less noticeable, although I felt them a few times through out the day, on yesterday, they were less intense. I was able to do a little bit more with my kids on yesterday, without feeling like I had to go lay down and wait until the brain shivers passed. So, I’m not sure if I’m having a window or the fish oil is working. I’ll give it some more time an update when I notice a significant amount of time has passed without the brain shivers. I have not started the magnesium yet, still a little skeptical about it lol. 

[Hopemom3]

15 hours ago, Storm365 said:

Hi @Hopemom3,

 

I started to see improvements in my sleep some where around the 9 or 10 month mark of being off the antidepressant I was on. But, I tried not to focus too much on how much sleep I was getting at night, because it made me even more anxious. Sometimes I would try to nap during the day, which helped with some of the restless feeling. To help me sleep I listened to ocean sounds, meditation apps, or bedtime stories on audio. I was also having the cortisol spikes too, for those I did meditation, went for a walk, and wrote in my journal, also did deep breathing exercises. Napping may help a little if you are able to. 

 

I truly hope you find relief and are able to get more sleep, peace and blessings to you.  

 

 

 

15 hours ago, Storm365 said:

Hi @Hopemom3,

 

I started to see improvements in my sleep some where around the 9 or 10 month mark of being off the antidepressant I was on. But, I tried not to focus too much on how much sleep I was getting at night, because it made me even more anxious. Sometimes I would try to nap during the day, which helped with some of the restless feeling. To help me sleep I listened to ocean sounds, meditation apps, or bedtime stories on audio. I was also having the cortisol spikes too, for those I did meditation, went for a walk, and wrote in my journal, also did deep breathing exercises. Napping may help a little if you are able to. 

 

I truly hope you find relief and are able to get more sleep, peace and blessings to you.  

 

 

 

 

Hi @Storm365 thank you so much for responding. I still struggle every day. Some days are little better than other. My major symptoms are insomnia, tinnitus 24/7, skin sensations , tension in my feet, heart rate uneven, cortisol high , and still cry but less than on the beginning. My GI problem still exists but better. The hardest part is to be mom and wife. Thank God for my husband who took over many my responsibilities. I still sometimes have feelings that it will be like this forever. I want to trust that it will get better. I am trying my best to be present for my kids . It gives me hope that you getting better maybe I will too. Thanks again 

[Storm365]

@Hopemom3 You are welcome. I totally understand, the wonderful thing about it is you have your husband there to assist you. I had to depend on my husband a lot too. We are both blessed in that area 😊. My kids are 2 and 6, and it was very difficult for me as well to be as present as I needed to be. I was often agitated by noise, but was afraid to be left alone. At one point I couldn’t feel love for them and it scared me, through therapy I was able to find my way back to my emotions and I can feel the love for them that has always been there. I also had tinnitus, crying spells, cried more than I have my whole adult life.
 

Give yourself some grace, do what you can for your kids, but know that it’s okay to focus on getting better too. Although it can be hard to do especially if you have small ones. My youngest was about 14 or 15 months old when I started suffering from withdrawal symptoms. I know he won’t remember it, but I still felt guilty for having to rely on my husband a lot to care for him at times. You feel that burden when you desire to be a good mother, in which I can sense that you are for thinking of your kids in your suffering. 
 

It’s going to be an up and down roller coaster for a while, but you will get through it. The fact that you’re seeing improvement is a sign that you are healing, it’s just a slow process. I thought that there was no end to any of my symptoms as well, and cried every time I thought about it. Your brain needs time to heal. I still have brain shivers (I’m now taking fish oil for those, feeling some slight improvement), brain fog sometimes, and GI problems still exist too. Remaining hopeful that those will end as well. Take it one day at a time. You will be the mom you desire to be again. 
 

Do you have any hobbies? Anything that can help keep you distracted or a positive quote to repeat to yourself to give you some encouragement each day…like…”This is temporary, I will get better.” 
 

 

[Hopemom3]

51 minutes ago, Storm365 said:

 

 

Do you have any hobbies? Anything that can help keep you distracted or a positive quote to repeat to yourself to give you some encouragement each day…like…”This is temporary, I will get better.” 
 

 

@Storm365i have 3 kids . Older than yours so they will remember:( But it is a lesson for them that life is not always easy. And marriage is for good time and difficult time. Hope they will learn what marriage means. From mom who did everything to mom who could barely function for months, this was very difficult for whole family. For being on those medication for longest 6 weeks but poly drug I am paying huge price. Still far from good but thank good that acute period is over . Months of 100 symptoms. Sensitivity to everything. Noise , light, supplements. Lost so much weight and I was not big . I am so happy for you that you getting your life back. Enjoy your little kids . Do you do any diet ? I try low histamine due to one of the med I was on only 3 weeks. It is difficult diet but planing to keep it for little longer until sleep gets better.  As you advise, I also try to distract myself doing something. Unfortunately I am not able yet to nap . My brain is not ready . 

[Storm365]

6 minutes ago, Hopemom3 said:

@Storm365i have 3 kids . Older than yours so they will remember:( But it is a lesson for them that life is not always easy. And marriage is for good time and difficult time. Hope they will learn what marriage means. From mom who did everything to mom who could barely function for months, this was very difficult for whole family. For being on those medication for longest 6 weeks but poly drug I am paying huge price. Still far from good but thank good that acute period is over . Months of 100 symptoms. Sensitivity to everything. Noise , light, supplements. Lost so much weight and I was not big . I am so happy for you that you getting your life back. Enjoy your little kids . Do you do any diet ? I try low histamine due to one of the med I was on only 3 weeks. It is difficult diet but planing to keep it for little longer until sleep gets better.  As you advise, I also try to distract myself doing something. Unfortunately I am not able yet to nap . My brain is not ready . 

@Hopemom3 Thank you and be encouraged that you will get your life back also. Definitely a good life lesson for kids🙂. I also understand the not being able to nap right now...I went through that period also. I lost weight too. Glad you have things that help you keep your mind off the symptoms at times. I know it can be difficult. I bounce back and forth between vegan and pescatarian diet. I consume mostly vegetables, fruit, legumes, beans, nuts and I keep vegan processed foods to a bare minimum. Seafood I may have once, twice, or not at all in a months time. Not sure if this diet helps, but I was vegan for 2 years before all this happen to me, did it because I had a health scare, things got better and then later reintroduced seafood. I feel like if I continue to put healthy foods in my body eventually my mind and body will make a full recovery, just my theory.  

[Altostrata]

Good to hear fish oil is helping a bit. That is the effect many people get from it.

 

We recommend 3000mg-4000mg EPA + DHA in omega-3 fish oil per day. This is often 6 capsules (2 at each meal). Look at your bottle of liquid to find out how much EPA + DHA is in a teaspoon. 

[Storm365]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Good to hear fish oil is helping a bit. That is the effect many people get from it.

 

We recommend 3000mg-4000mg EPA + DHA in omega-3 fish oil per day. This is often 6 capsules (2 at each meal). Look at your bottle of liquid to find out how much EPA + DHA is in a teaspoon. 

Okay, thank you. Will do! 

[Storm365]

17 hours ago, Altostrata said:

We recommend 3000mg-4000mg EPA + DHA in omega-3 fish oil per day. This is often 6 capsules (2 at each meal). Look at your bottle of liquid to find out how much EPA + DHA is in a teaspoon. 

There are 800 mg of EPA and 500 mg of DHA in a teaspoon. 

[Altostrata]

Suggest you take at least 3 teaspoons per day, with food.

[Storm365]

8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Suggest you take at least 3 teaspoons per day, with food.

Okay, I will try this. Thanks for the suggestion. 

[Storm365]

Happy New Year/Happy Healing

 

Hello,

 

Happy New Year to all! Just wanted to give an update on my recovery journey. Although I’m a lot better than I was a year ago, still in the process of healing. Today I’ve been battling a cold or some kind of sinus issue, but I’m okay. The last time I wrote on here I was still having trouble with brain zaps, digestive issues, and occasionally feeling unsteady. The digestive issues are still present, still working on that. The unsteady feeling and brain zaps seems to be more present when I’m tired or hungry. I’ve been taking fish oil 2-3 times a day, I believe it’s helping with the brain zaps, still not sure, but they are definitely less annoying now a days. Would like to take magnesium, but I’m still a little nervous about trying it. I fall asleep just fine, will wake up after 4 hours, but can sometimes fall back asleep and get another 2 hours in. 
 

The thing I am most excited about is starting a new job, I haven’t worked since June 2021, due to the withdrawal symptoms after coming off of Citalopram. The first day of my new job went well, except by the end of the day my nervous system felt a bit over stimulated, had some anxiety, but I was fine once I got home and got some rest. Hoping I can persevere through any lingering symptoms, and keep this job. The two days of work definitely made me feel normal again, despite my anxiety. 
 

Hopeful healing to all in the struggle. May the new year bring love, peace, and grace to you all. 
 

Edited January 3, 2023 by Shep
added title after merging from a new intro thread

[Shep]

Hi, @Storm365 Please note I moved your latest post and merged it with your already-existing intro thread. This way all of your information is in one place.

 

Congratulations on your new job! That's very exciting. I'm glad you're feeling well enough to work. 

 

On 1/2/2023 at 4:11 AM, Storm365 said:

Would like to take magnesium, but I’m still a little nervous about trying it.

 

You may want to start out with an epsom salt bath. Epsom salt contains magnesium but it's gentler to your digestive system - you get the magnesium by absorbing it through your skin. 

 

Might be something to try after the workday is over. Here is a recipe:

 

Epsom salts baths - another way to relax with magnesium

 

You may want to start out with just 1/4 a cup of epsom salt to see how you do. 

[Altostrata]

Good to hear you're feeling a bit better, and about to go back to work!

[Storm365]

Hi @Shep, 

Okay. Thank you so much. Definitely didn’t think I would ever be at this point, where I could even entertain the thought of working again, let alone actually do it. 
 

I really appreciate the suggestion. I will be sure to give the Epsom salt bath a try, sounds like something that will be really helpful after  work. 

[Storm365]

Hi @Altostrata,

 

Thank you! 

[Storm365]

Hello,

Currently in a wave. Started having internal trimmers again about 5 days ago, haven’t had those in a really long time. Not sure what’s going on. Also, having issues with brain fog and feeling like my sensory receptors are not functioning properly. Hope I’m about to enter a window. 
 

Happy Healing! 

[Altostrata]

Did you go back to work? Any changes in the week prior to the wave starting?

[Storm365]

16 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Did you go back to work? Any changes in the week prior to the wave starting?

Hi @Altostrata yes I went back to work, been working about 3 weeks now. I work the weekends, 12 hours a day, I got a really bad anxiety wave on Sunday at work and I’ve been struggling with internal trimmers and these other symptoms ever since. I missed about 2 or 3 days of taking the fish oil and I have added a mixed veggie & fruit beet juice before my morning breakfast for about week.

[Altostrata]

Be sure to get plenty of sleep, rest, and hydrate during the week so you have stamina for working on the weekend.

[Storm365]

2 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Be sure to get plenty of sleep, rest, and hydrate during the week so you have stamina for working on the weekend.

Okay, I will work on the sleep. Been having sleep disturbances the last few days, but I did try a weighted blanket last night and it helped out a lot. I still would wake up, but was able to go back to sleep. Thanks @Altostrata. 

[Walleebug]

@Storm365 are you out of the wave?

[Storm365]

@WalleebugYes, feeling a lot better. Thanks for asking. 

[Walleebug]

Good to hear.  

[Walleebug]

Hi @Storm365.  Just wondering how you're doing with work.  I hope all is well with you. 

[Storm365]

Hi @Walleebug . I’m still working. The 12 hours have been a little tough, but I’ve been hanging in there in spite of. It helps me to feel normal. Been in bit of a wave for the last 5 or 6 days, but I’m okay overall. Tried magnesium for the first time yesterday. I’ll see if it makes a difference. Thanks for checking on me. 
 

How have you been? 

[Walleebug]

Im happy to hear you're OK. Hopefully the waves become less and less intense.   I've been ok. Coming out of a wave now and feeling much better.

[Storm365]

Thank you 😊! Yes, hopefully so. Waves suck, but it definitely gives hope when you come out of them and enter a window. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better and doing okay too.