Brookie: Lexapro for 11 years and taking trazadone

[Brookie]

I was prescribed Lexapro for acute post partum depression and anxiety after my baby was born in 2011. My baby is about to turn 11 years old and I am still on 20 mg. I am 34 yo woman, 5’3, 156 lbs. 

 

My short term goal is to cut the dose in half. Long goal is cessation or very low dose. The drug makes me feel flat, unable to feel happiness. I am afraid of the negative emotions that I will experience, but understand it is necessary to feel alive again. I also feel very restless at times. 
 

Over the years I have attempted to taper off a few times and failed. I think I did it too quickly over one month last time.  I got down to 10 mg and my anxiety was so severe I almost lost my job. I get the brain zaps and extreme fatigue as well.  I have a career, marriage, kids , mortgage  etc . and cannot afford a nervous breakdown. 
 

For the last two months, I have began to taper by taking 3/4 of the pill or 15 mg every other night with regular dose on the off night.  I am not sure how I will cut the pill for the taper I need. 
 

I have noticed slight increase in anxiety but it is manageable. I am seeing in color a bit more if you know what I mean. Trying to keep perspective that feelings are not a bad thing. 
 

I appreciate your support and advice. It’s not something I talk about to anyone.  My doctor is not very helpful and just switches me to different SSRI or adds something else which has never helped. 
 

Side note- I take 50 mg Trazadone to sleep due to insomnia. I have had so much trouble falling asleep all my life and am not looking to cease that med at this time. 
 

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Brookie

 

Please do not alternate dosages to taper! This confuses your nervous system and could be the cause of that anxiety -- a mild withdrawal symptom that could get worse. 

 

We recommend a gradual taper by 10% at a step. Using the liquid form of the drug is the easiest way to do this. See Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

 

Why and when did you start taking trazodone?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Brookie]

Thanks for the advice. I will have to ask my doctor for the liquid form of lex. I wish there was a way to cut the pill. 
 

I started taking trazodone 11 years ago the same time I started Lexapro. I take it because I have such a hard time falling asleep. 

[Altostrata]

Very possible the Lexapro itself is responsible for your poor sleep.

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[ChessieCat]

Please remember to do this; it allows us to see your drug history at a glance whenever you post.  The information you gave when you joined is different.  Thank you.

 

53 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

 

[Brookie]

Also I am interested in the positives of getting off Lexapro. I have read about all the bad effects when withdrawing. 
 

I think I will feel more like myself if I can stop. I barley remember since I have been on it so long. Do you know if any positives stories ?

[Happy2Heal]

1 hour ago, Brookie said:

Do you know if any positives stories ?

 

 

you can find positive stories under the heading Success Stories.

 

for people who successfully got off of lexapro, you can look for those with the tag "lexapro"

 

like this one:

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/19581-scottly9999-lexapro-nightmare-now-almost-a-dream/#comment-398870

 

and this one:
https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-doctor-too/#comment-86658

 

[Brookie]

I’m down 15 mg from 20 mg Lex and feeling optimistic. I want to be successful and not rush it at all. I think I will stay at this dosage for a month or so to make sure I am not over doing it . I also don’t have the liquid so it’s hard to get the dose I want. I would follow the 10% rule if I could. 
 

I am sitting  outside today and realized I am feeling some happiness with nature. I am appreciating the breeze, birds chirping, leaves changing color. I normally feel that everything is pointless, so this is a good sign. 
 

I struggle with pressures at work. If I can cope with anxiety during the work week will be the true test. I also have a pre teen daughter that has some crisis daily. 
 

I am grateful for this site. It is the only source of support I have. My doctors advice is to just take the med forever. 

[Happy2Heal]

On 11/5/2022 at 7:25 PM, Brookie said:

I think I will feel more like myself if I can stop. I barley remember since I have been on it so long. Do you know if any positives stories ?

 

Hi Brookie

I can relate!!

 

 I think you will be very happy to get your "self" back! 🌞

 

I was on lexapro at doses from 20 mgs to 40mgs for approx 15 years, but I was on psych meds for a total of 43 years, so not only did I not remember what I used to be like, in those 4 decades I'd changed a lot and so coming off the drugs I was arriving in the body and mind of almost a new person LOL

 

Getting off lexapro can be difficult but if you go slow and keep things steady, you'll be fine.

 

I have been off for 5  years now and I can honestly say that my life just keeps getting better.

I am able to feel everything now, whereas on the lexapro, I felt NOTHING. Not sad, not happy, nothing. Life seemed utterly pointless

 

I must admit, I'm not thrilled when I feel sad or angry etc, but I know that's a part of the bargain, if you're going to have feelings, you've got to accept them all.

but I wouldn't have it any other way

 

the joy and the peace that I have now... it's wonderful.

 

I am very glad I got off the lexapro

 

you probably will be too.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you said:  "I’m down 15 mg from 20 mg Lex "

 

how long did it take you to get from 20 mgs to 15?

 

you want to go very slow with lexapro.

 

I too tried to get off it and was forced back on because I went too fast.

Lexapro is a VERY strong drug

 

even tiny tiny TINY bits of it have an effect

 

Many of us who got off lexapro found we needed to go SLOWER when we got down around 2.5mgs

Getting TO that low a dose often went easier than getting from 2.5mgs to zero

 

You are a LONG way from that, but when you get there, I'll remind you, if you'd like, that you need to go slow and steady!

 

 

 

[Taperstruggles]

Hi @Brookie!
I was put on Lexapro for the same reason as you about the same time as you. I have tapered suuuuper slowly over 1,5 years. I am not sure if I will ever be able to go completely off them but I'm happy to at least have managed to lower my dose significantly. 
My first drop last year went pretty smoothly, this second drop that I have stayed on now since July this year has been distinctly tougher. If I taper any more (I will stay on this at least a year now) I will taper way more slowly the lower I go.
I am slightly more anxious about life ups and downs now and super teary (which is not all bad though, I used to have trouble crying while on a higher dose and only felt like a pressure in my chest build when I felt bad, now it comes out, I was teary befor the meds so this is more like I used to be). 

Positives I've noticed from having lowered my dose are:
-I finally managed to start losing weight. I started gaining as soon as I was put on meds and gained about 15-20 kilos over the years that I could not shed no matter what I tried. Now I've lost 10 kilos in a year since I tapered down.
- I'm WAY WAY less tired. I have so much more energy. I never realised it was from the meds as I was put on them during baby years when I had three children below the age of 4 home full time with me so I was tired before the meds as well due to lack of sleep. But now that kids are big and sleep well since many years I was still as tired, once I started tapering dosage, wow, the energy is so much better! I'm finalising projects around the house I've been putting off for years.
- more feelings means more anxiety, more tears obviously, but also more happy feelings. Music moves me again, I cry happy tears again etc.

- I feel less brain fog. I was in such a fog for so many years, I never imagined it had anything to do with the meds but the fog has lifted, I feel like I'm back again in many ways. (not too happy about the increased anxiety I had pre-meds though I must say, my hypochondria is back with a vengeance-ugh). 

For now the positives of tapering are outweighing the negative, my goal is to find the sweet spot of as low a dose as I can manage on without my anxiety I've had most my life taking over too much. 

[Brookie]

Thank you for the replies. I had been alternating 20 mg and 15 mg doses for 2 months as a start because I had no advice on cessation until I found this forum, and I do not have liquid for the suggested 1 mg taper. 

For the past week I am now on 15 mg daily.  I have been having emotions that  I normally can’t feel. It is welcome and subtle so far. Since I did such a big cut, I will stick with this dosage until end of year at least.  
 

I have had a condition come up in the last year I am now wondering if is a result of the 11 years on Lex.  My allergies indoor and outdoor became very severe year round. Like a permanent cold. I also developed very itchy flaking peeling skin on my face under my eyes. A year later now and it has not cleared it up at all. Nothing helps. It looks very red and irritated. Strange as I never had any skin issues before. 
 

I am committed to getting off Lex as long as withdrawal or anxiety  isn’t unbearable. Being on it is just as unbearable in its own way. Having no joy or happiness or interest is not living. It’s misery to watch your life happen but not be able to experience it.
 

When I first started on it, I started having  constant suicidal thoughts. It made no sense because I had everything going for me in life.  I was too afraid to tell any one. It went on for a couple years. Everything just seemed so pointless. After that I started drinking daily to numb the numbness? I cut that out a few years ago and restrict alcohol to one weekend day a week. I struggle with cravings. 
 

 I thought something was wrong with me and I had no choice but to be on it forever. I now realize dealing with emotions is much better than being a zombie and not participating in my own life. 
 

I have not told my husband about any of this. Afraid he will not support me getting off of it and talk me into taking it again if withdrawal gets rough. 
 

will update if any changes. 

 

 

[Heath]

Hello @Brookie welcome And glad you found SA ! 
 

We do not recommend no more than 10 % of current dose per month. And you can go slower than that. I have been averaging tapering around 7 %. 

example 10 % of 20 mg would be 2 mg making dose 18 mg .
Then after 1 month 10 % of 18 would be 1.8 mg making new dose 16.2 mg. 

I have tapered too fast before I found SA and it is no fun and can make it harder to taper in future. I would say if there is no emergency you can’t go to slow. 
 

If you can get liquid lexapro prescription that will be the best, and make sure you have plenty of extra tablets to gradually transfer over to liquid. 
https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/25691-cross-over-changing-form-eg-tablet-to-liquid-of-drug-or-changing-brand-of-same-drug/

 

 

Easy to use tapering calculator 

http://www.taperoff.co/

 

 

 

Please read and ask questions before taking steps in this journey. Read all you can here. 

PLEASE fill out your drug signature as soon as you can so the mods can advise you and answer your questions. 
just short form 

date - drug- dosage 
 

Slow steady stable. 
 

 

[Altostrata]

Good to hear your first reduction went well, @Brookie

 

Often the first reduction goes well, but you will need to make smaller reductions to continue. Please do not rush your taper. If you get withdrawal symptoms, you will need to pause until they go away. Don't make a reduction on top of withdrawal symptoms.

 

On 11/7/2022 at 5:26 PM, Brookie said:

After that I started drinking daily to numb the numbness? I cut that out a few years ago and restrict alcohol to one weekend day a week. I struggle with cravings. 

 

@Brookie, your system may be sensitized by starting your taper. Alcohol can cause serious setbacks, triggering withdrawal-like symptoms. Please be careful.

 

We need this information: summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Brookie]

Hello friends. 
So it has been 2 months since I started my taper of Lexapro. I went from 20 to 15 mg due to not having liquid for suggested 1 mg per month. 
I did well the first month. The numbness and adhedonia improved. 
Now wrapping up month 2 I am struggling with some anxiety. I just have this constant underlying feeling that something bad is about to happen. 
I do not want to go back to the dead inside of 20 mg Lexapro. I could go back up to 17.5 mg. for a couple months? hate to backtrack but the anxiety is a problem. 

Also, I feel relieved if I take 25 mg of delta 8 in the evening.  let me know if you can share how others did with Delta 8 or if it creates more problems. 
 

I appreciate your advice and support. 
 

Brookie

[Heath]

@Brookie 

Glad you have had improvements, that is a very good sign! 

 

If you will complete your signature with drug dose and date only Then SA will be able to accurately assist and advise. Please fill the signature out. 
Example 

20 mg  2011

18 mg Nov 6 2022

16.2 mg Dec 5 2022

15 mg Dec 27 2022

We also need any other drugs and supplements listed with name , dates and dosage in the signature. 

On 11/5/2022 at 5:13 PM, Altostrata said:

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this

what mg tablets are you using?

I will tell you what I did. I told my dr I had to go real slow to taper down to get rid of side effects. I asked for smaller tablets. He wrote me a script for three 5 mg tablets per day. And after I got lower I asked him for liquid. 
 

you can cut the 5 mg tablets and get down to 11.25 mg  under  the max 10% per month. After that it’s weighing or liquid. 
 

My suggestion would be to hold and get a liquid prescription. And read through the self help section on this forum for the symptoms you are experiencing atm. There are several that help me with the anxiety part- exercise , cold water, and distraction.

If your dr will not write liquid script there are 100s of other drs that will gladly do it. 
 

we do not suggest any supplements other than magnesium and omega 3. 

 

here is one link on coping. 
 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/13669-ways-to-cope-with-daily-anxiety/

 

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Brookie Before any more discussion, please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature