Terrie: fast taper off Wellbutrin and Lexapro

[Terrie]

Hi there, I would appreciate it advice on this please. I was on Wellbutrin 300 mg and Lexapro 10 mg was tapered by a company and I was off of all medication in a month. It seemed like there wonder supplements were supposed to help me thus  justifying a Fast taper. after being off the medication‘s for  two weeks I went back on one quarter dose of Wellbutrin and then taper down from there. I gradually tapered off that over a couple of months and then the withdrawals got even more horrific once I was off of everything. Off of everything for two months I reinstated Lexapro at 1.25 mg. I went to see a functional medicine doctor and she put me on hormones . I’m on progesterone and oestrogen patch. apparently going off of anti-depressants reeked havoc on my hormones. I cannot work I cannot participate in any of the sports I was involved in. I’m basically a useless lump and I spend most of my day In bed.
Should I increase my Lexapro a little bit more? Not really sure what to do at this point. Thank you. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Terrie

 

What are your current symptoms that you attribute to withdrawal? What effect has the progesterone and oestrogen patch had? When did you start that?

[Terrie]

MOD NOTE:  Alto has advised to keep post hidden.  REPORT:  https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/modcp/reports/4285/

 

Cannot exercise or enjoy life

 

Hi there 

 

Still on last 0.85 mg of Lexapro after a rapid taper by a “coach”. Was taken off Wellbutrin 300mg and Lexapro 10 mg in a month. (March 7-April 😎

 

EVERY time I start to feel a bit better I do something physical and I am in bed, suicidal for a week to 10 days. I am doing a fraction of what I used to do. Easy hikes, easy gym workouts. But with severe consequences. 

I am an avid skier and snowboarder. I volunteer for 2 different organizations to guide and teach blind skiers. One is a man I take to Sunshine Village Banff. I can’t do this anymore.

 

I am losing my life. My whole life is sports. I was sick for 2 weeks every mountain bike weekend I went on in the summer.

 

I only have one friend that isn't active. I have no idea how long this will last or if I will have no friends at the end of it.

 

People know what I am going through but rarely ask. Nobody really seems to care. 

 

I am looking into assisted suicide. I am dead anyways.

 

Can anyone relate?

 

Edited November 12, 2022 by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic

[Terrie]

I started the patch and Estrogen on October 23. 
Withdrawal symptoms: If I do ANY physical exercise I get tremors, shaking. flu like symptoms, sweats, nausea, irritable, agitated, suicidal, exhaustion where I cannot get out of bed for days.

If I am not exercising I am 100% exhausted 80% of the time with small bursts of energy. When I do have these bursts of energy I feel like I can do what I used to do which is exercise.

[Altostrata]

When did you take your last doses of Wellbutrin and Lexapro?

[manymoretodays]

On 11/3/2022 at 10:24 PM, Terrie said:

Off of everything for two months I reinstated Lexapro at 1.25 mg. I went to see a functional medicine doctor and she put me on hormones . I’m on progesterone and oestrogen patch. apparently going off of anti-depressants reeked havoc on my hormones. I cannot work I cannot participate in any of the sports I was involved in. I’m basically a useless lump and I spend most of my day In bed.
Should I increase my Lexapro a little bit more? Not really sure what to do at this point. Thank you. 

 

Hi Terrie and welcome aboard,

A little more detail is needed now to help and support you.

 

When were your last doses of Wellbutrin and Lexapro?

When did you start the 1.25 reinstatement dose of Lexapro?   And then when did you further reduce to 0.85 mg?

 

You can can add those dates to your signature.  To get to it again quickly for an easy edit go to:

AccountSettings/update/edit

Following the drug name, get the dose noted, then date again, and next dose noted

 

Here's that last line of your present signature:

2022 off Both with 30 days via True Hope you might add- off Wellbutrin(last dose) month and day, off Lexapro(last dose) month and day.  And then reinstate Lexapro 1.25 mg, month and day, reduced to 0.85 mg, month and day

 

On 11/8/2022 at 10:38 PM, Terrie said:

I started the patch and Estrogen on October 23. 
Withdrawal symptoms: If I do ANY physical exercise I get tremors, shaking. flu like symptoms, sweats, nausea, irritable, agitated, suicidal, exhaustion where I cannot get out of bed for days.

If I am not exercising I am 100% exhausted 80% of the time with small bursts of energy. When I do have these bursts of energy I feel like I can do what I used to do which is exercise.

 

Yes, it can be very hard when WD(withdrawal) takes away doing the things we love that bring us joy and keep us balanced.  Many here have had to adjust their lives while dealing with WD and protracted withdrawal syndrome.  Most do improve and heal with time.  So do please hang on.

-exercise-do-more-do-less-do-nothing-what-worked-for-you/

 

You might find more relief now with guided meditations or relaxing exercises:

-relaxation-exercises-guided-meditations-calming-videos-sleep-hypnosis/

 

You are in withdrawal land now Terrie.  And in WD, or protracted withdrawal syndrome.  And I'm so sorry.  Guessing that True Hope may have taken you off your medications much too quickly, and I'm not sure they are well versed in deprescribing, tapering, and such.

Do tread carefully now with any coaching around your WD, further medications, and or supplements.  Learn to do your own research when you can.

 

So see neuroemotions

 

I'm just going to give you a few more basics today too, read when you can.......and you may have already seen some of our topics, but I never know.  And this way they'll be here for you to look at when you can.

 

The 10% or less, taper recommendation is a harm reduction approach to going off psychiatric drugs.

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Tips for tapering off Lexapro

also methods to get doses that are not mass produced are in ^

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

And good that you reinstated low.  Any improvements with symptoms since your reinstatement?

 

What has been happening:

Brain Remodelling

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

 

Dr.Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

Look at the PDF, I'm sure you'll see some of your own symptoms there

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made.  The CNS likes stability. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur. And sleep is really important during withdrawal. 

 

Are you sleeping?

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system.  

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-treatments-diet/

 

We don't recommend other medications or hormones for direct treatment of WD either.  Any changes noted in symptoms since you started your patch and estrogen?

 

If you can clarify a bit more for us, that will be helpful.  Meantime hang on.......eat, sleep, try and get some human interaction in.......even if just by phone or internet.....if you can let someone on the ground into your struggle now.  They may be a comfort and help.

 

And I can relate Terrie.  I had a long haul myself of psychiatry and drugging and feeling and functioning poorly.  I will say that it did and it does get better.  I finally tapered and off my final drugs and it took some time, but.......have written my success story now, and my life is good.  I am happy and at peace most days.  As an aside- I also got really thrown when utilizing True Hope/Empower Plus many years ago.  Took awhile to recover......however, I did and am here to tell the story.  So again, hang on.  Perhaps we can help.

 

Best, Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

 

@Terrie,Terrie, we care and you are not alone.

This is your introduction/journal page where you have now introduced yourself to the community, you can ask questions here regarding your tapering or WD, communicate with us here, give updates, and just keep a record of your journey.

 

 

Edited November 10, 2022 by manymoretodays
additional I can relate

[manymoretodays]

Hi Terrie, @Terrie

This is your Introduction page, and a good place to post.  There are questions for you above, which I don't know if you have seen.  You still have not added any more specific dates to your signature, as to when you came off your 2 drugs.  So, it can be confusing to us.

  

6 hours ago, Terrie said:

I’m wondering if my exercise intolerance is because of a quick taper or does this happen to everyone? 
I was tapered off WWellbutrin  and Lexapro  over a month, then reinstated Wellbutrin . at 1/4 dose then  tapered again. Severe withdrawal then reinstated Lexapro  at 1.25mg. Now, after 7 weeks on 0.75 mg Lex.
If I do any exercise I get severely depressed for at least a week. Very angry, irritable, severe fatigue. It used to be worse in the heat. I would mountain bike all weekend and for 2-3 weeks be in severe withdrawal and bed ridden . Now in the winter I xc ski for an hour and I am wrecked for a week. Still too unstable to work. Started this journey nearly 9 months ago.
So,,, does this happen to everyone or just with fast taper?

 

We do have a topic that speaks to the topic you created and so I quoted your post over there.

-exercise-do-more-do-less-do-nothing-what-worked-for-you/

 

You'll see your recent topic and post on page 12 of that topic ^ now.  You might like to see what others have experienced like you, and browse the whole topic.

And I know it's real hard if movement and sports were your life.  I do want to tell you to maintain hope, that this pattern of yours now......it won't last forever.

 

What can you do now?  Are you eating okay?  Sleeping?  Getting outside even briefly on your worst days or wave days?  Visiting with others on the ground, or locally? 

 

Would you update your signature with your recent reinstatement, date, drug, dose, and then your subsequent decrease after 7 weeks.  Please.  Thank you.  A short cut to edit/update your signature is here:  AccountSettings/signature update/edit (just click on the underlined passage, to get to your signature, and then hit SAVE, on the lower right, once you have edited in your update)

Also get the dates in there, even the month when you initially came off your drugs.  It is so helpful.

Did you want our help and support?  Are you just having trouble navigating the site?

 

I'm so hoping you will update right here telling us how you are doing, and especially if anything is getting better, or if there are any improvements at all.

Did you feel any change with your re-instatement of Lexapro 1.25 mg?  Why did you go down so much, to 0.75 mg of Lexapro?  We usually do have members taper their reinstatement doses too, at a 10% or less of the previous dose, after HOLDING at the reinstatement(if noticing any, even slight improvement in WD symptoms).

 

Okay.  Post here.  Update your signature.  Let us know how you are doing.  We care.  You are not alone, others have and do experience, what you are experiencing, here.  Maybe we can help.

 

And best.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

Edited November 26, 2022 by manymoretodays

[Terrie]

Hi there

i’m wondering if I will go back to normal if I restart my medications? 
I posted something about exercise intolerance. I got a message today from a lady that tapered slowly, over two years and after five months of being off medication she became very intolerant of exercise. So she has been off meds for nearly three years and has to be very careful with exercise.

All I do is sports all year round, every weekend and during the week. I downhill ski and snowboard and cross country ski. I also go for winter hikes and snowshoe.

I was on the ski patrol years back are used to ski instructor. Now I am a guide for a blind skier. The ski season in the Canadian Rockies is 6 1/2 months long. In the summer I both downhill bike and cross-country bike. Now I can do nothing Without at least 3 to 5 days of severe depression, fatigue and anger. When it was hot during the summer and I would bike for the weekend it would be two weeks in bed.

I don’t socialize much in the evening as far as going to bars or parties. All my friends and my social life revolves around sports.

i’m wondering if going back on antidepressants will give me more of a life back. I was depressed on them, but now I am depressed off them AND  my life has been taken away. I’m on disability from work, cannot do much for exercise, chronic fatigue. What the hell did I do? Why did I do this? It was so crazy to go off anti-depressants for this kind of a life. I regret it immensely. Nobody seems to have any compassion for me because I think everybody feels like I did this to myself.Nobody seems to have any compassion for me because I think everybody feels like I did this to myself.

 

[getofflex]

Please keep all your questions about your situation is this one thread, to avoid confusion and duplication of effort.  Each member gets one thread in the Introduction's and Updates forum, which is where they discuss their own personal situation.  Thank you for understanding. 

 

This is a forum for getting off drugs.  We do not advise for going back on drugs, except in the case of a temporary reinstatement with the purpose of reducing withdrawal.  

[Faure]

Quote

i’m wondering if going back on antidepressants will give me more of a life back. I was depressed on them, but now I am depressed off them AND  my life has been taken away. I’m on disability from work, cannot do much for exercise, chronic fatigue. What the hell did I do? Why did I do this? It was so crazy to go off anti-depressants for this kind of a life. I regret it immensely. Nobody seems to have any compassion for me because I think everybody feels like I did this to myself.Nobody seems to have any compassion for me because I think everybody feels like I did this to myself.

Hi Terrie, I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like you wanted to get off these drugs, you found a company who said they could help you, you quite reasonably believed them, and it has all gone horribly wrong. It isn’t your fault. There is no short cut to getting off these drugs.  Tapering by 10% of your most recent dose no more frequently than every 4 weeks is the safest and most sure fire way to do it. Holding for longer if necessary. 
 

Your brain became dependent on these drugs and they have been taken away too fast. Your system is in uproar because it is completely destabilised. 
 

I’m sorry to say that going back onto the drugs with a view to remaining on them is no guarantee of getting back to how you were. I had a failed taper, got very ill, didn’t listen to advice here, reinstated the full dose because I thought it would make me feel better and was extremely fatigued for 18 months till I had another go at tapering. This time following SA advice. The fatigue is gradually diminishing as I go back down in dose. Also research shows the people on ADs do worse overall than people who are not on them. They have adverse effects and are very dangerous, powerful drugs as you are unfortunately finding out. 
 

I would suggest you answer Alto’s question: 

 

Quote

When did you take your last doses of Wellbutrin and Lexapro?

and perhaps tag her when you do.  She may well be able to suggest a reinstatement dose that will eventually help you to become stable. This can take many months, there is no quick fix. The important thing will be to stick to the dose regardless of how you feel. It will be tempting to go up / down / tweak it but this will make things worse. Support will be here from the mods if you need it during this time, they will be able to provide suggestions. 
 

Again, I so sorry this has happened. I see that your life revolved around physical activity that you love. You will, unfortunately, need to work on accepting that this will not be possible for the moment. It will return, but in the meantime I would suggest you try to find something else to help you through this. Something you can do quietly…crochet, reading, listening to the radio, watching tv. Nothing like you want to be doing I know. I’m sorry. 
 

Let us know if you want more help 🙂

[manymoretodays]

Hi Terrie,

Here's the neuroemotions topic for you, possibly again, sounds like you are in a tough spot now.

Neuroemotions and make sure and look at the first post there.

I don't know what your before self was like, other than a sporting enthusiast.  But it is so easy to go off, have a bit of a tantrum while in WD or sometimes dealing with adverse effects of drugs.  Do your best to control.  I love sports too, and outdoor stuff.  Imagine if you had just lost a limb or got cancer or any number of things that could throw your plans off now.  Maybe that helps???

16 hours ago, Terrie said:

i’m wondering if I will go back to normal if I restart my medications? 

 

My own experience would answer this with a resounding NO!!!  I went for years and years on medications........drinking the magic kool aide of sorts, doing what they(my doctors told me) and just....kept.....getting.....worse.  Finally......I listened to my innermost self and began healing.  I mean it might take longer than you wish or expect, but it generally happens for all of us.  Do you have any other interests you could pursue for perhaps the next year, while slowly working up again to the type of exercise, sports, activities you'd like to continue?

Here's one of my favorites, that helped me a ton early on:

Oh, just try to smile a little, or find a bit of humor Terrie.

 

On 11/25/2022 at 10:04 PM, manymoretodays said:

Did you feel any change with your re-instatement of Lexapro 1.25 mg?  Why did you go down so much, to 0.75 mg of Lexapro?  We usually do have members taper their reinstatement doses too, at a 10% or less of the previous dose, after HOLDING at the reinstatement(if noticing any, even slight improvement in WD symptoms).

 

I had asked this ^ too.

 

Did you have other specific questions Terrie? 

We are all overstressed, overworked, understaffed, and are all in this together.  Do try a little bit of patience and kindness.  Thank you.  I am editing in here.........to say not always all of us, all the time.........overworked, overstressed, understaffed........in other words it's not all bad all the time.  Terrie, it took me some time to get and feel healed.  I definitely got a lot of support and wisdom here.  Please feel free to read my SuccessStory, or any of the Success Stories......those might help.  Hope you stick around.

Just do your best to be your best you now.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

And. Try not to over compare your story, your particular case, your journey with anyone else.  We're all different, unique.  As Alto says or something like this X= 1  .

 

Edited December 1, 2022 by manymoretodays
additional, and later edited in a bit in last black paragraph before signing off there

[Najla]

On ٤‏/١١‏/٢٠٢٢ at 07:24, Terrie said:

مرحبًا بكم ، سأكون ممتنًا لتقديم المشورة بشأن هذا من فضلك. كنت أتعامل مع Wellbutrin 300 mg وتم تخفيض Lexapro 10 mg بواسطة شركة وكنت خارج جميع الأدوية في غضون شهر. يبدو أن هناك عجبًا في أن المكملات الغذائية كان من المفترض أن تساعدني وبالتالي تبرر الاستدقاق السريع. بعد أن توقفت عن تناول الدواء لمدة أسبوعين ، عدت بربع جرعة من Wellbutrin ثم قللت من هناك. لقد خففت تدريجيًا ذلك على مدار شهرين ، ثم أصبحت عمليات السحب أكثر رعبًا بمجرد أن أخرج من كل شيء. خارج كل شيء لمدة شهرين أعدت ليكسابرو عند 1.25 ملغ. ذهبت لرؤية طبيبة الطب الوظيفي ووضعتني على الهرمونات. أنا على لصقة البروجسترون والإستروجين. يبدو أن الخروج من مضادات الاكتئاب أدى إلى تدمير هرموناتي. لا أستطيع العمل لا أستطيع المشاركة في أي من الرياضات التي شاركت فيها.
هل يجب أن أقوم بزيادة معدل Lexapro الخاص بي قليلاً؟ لست متأكدًا مما يجب فعله في هذه المرحلة. شكرًا لك. 

Hello Terry, you are not alone, I have the same problem as you, too. Sports was important to me. I used to practice long walks, and after stopping treatment, it became impossible. I could hardly walk for ten minutes, and I had leg cramps, pressure and throbbing, but I am sure we will get over this. We just need time and we will remember. All these stories and we will be happy because we succeeded. I noticed that you mentioned that you like to go to bars and of course you may drink alcohol. Through my reading on this forum, I noticed that they are getting worse by drinking alcohol, so you better stay away from it
I see that you should practice simple sports such as yoga or interval walking. Drink more water. Look for comedy programs. Read a book. Record your diaries.
I also suffer from my hormones, and my period comes twice a month, but I hope that everything will be better than it was.

[Terrie]

Thanks but I can’t see my post for some reason. I don’t drink at all I said I don’t do anything like go to the bars or anything like that. My social events are all sports related

[manymoretodays]

It's viewable now Terrie.  Good....great....on the no alcohol.

[jon1]

Hi @Terrie.

 

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it.

 

My situation is almost identical to the person who messaged you. Two years of tapering, which I finished completely at the start of this year. Then 5 months later I was suddenly exhausted and couldn't go to the gym for several weeks.

 

The situation has improved a bit. I can now go back to the gym, but I have to be very careful about what I do, and limit myself. I only do short moderate workouts, and always finish after a set amount of time, even if I'm still feeling energetic. I've found that keeping within these limits and very slowly increasing them seems to work.

 

If I overdo it, I'm exactly like you and get a week of terrible symptoms. Agitation, anger, insomnia then depression.

 

So the only advice I can really offer is to try and accept that you won't be able to force your body to do too much for a while. No drugs, pills, or potions will help; just time.

 

However, you can try and take control of the situation by setting out your own limits on what you can do. Then work on slowly increasing them. You may still feel frustrated, but at least if you see progress, however small, it's a positive.

 

I use an Apple Watch, which really helps me keep track of heart rate, distance, calories burned, etc. So over time I've been able to see which types of exercise trigger symptoms and which are okay to do.

 

If it's possible, try and still take part in something to do with your normal sports. Even if it's admin work, something where you can still turn up but don't necessarily have to take part. At least then you won't feel as cut off from the social aspects of it.

 

My therapist was telling me a lot of the exercise intolerance symptoms are similar to long Covid and other post-viral syndromes. The mechanism may be different, but treat yourself as if you've had a serious illness and need to take time to recover.

[Terrie]

Thanks so much. Was it worth getting off of the medication? 
How long have you been off now?

Sooo discouraging 

Terrie

[jon1]

4 hours ago, Terrie said:

Thanks so much. Was it worth getting off of the medication? 
How long have you been off now?

Sooo discouraging 

Terrie

 

You’re welcome Terrie.

 

Yes, despite all the withdrawal symptoms and the affect they’ve had on my daily life, I’m still glad I stopped taking the drugs. After all, if they’ve done this much damage to my system in the time I’d been taking them, I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if I’d taken them for any longer.

 

The one thing I would definitely change is the dosage I finished on. I stopped Lexapro completely at 2mg. At the time I thought that was a low dose. I’ve since discovered that Lexapro is much stronger than many other SSRIs and 2mg is still very high, so I’ve actually been through a mini cold-turkey without realising it.

 

I completely get why my previous post was discouraging. I’ve been an avid gym goer for years, it’s been something that got me through most of my tapering period and the pandemic. Having that routine and support structure ‘taken away’ has been hard to come to terms with. 

 

However, the only way I’ve been able to get through this is to accept it. Stop fighting the urge to ‘push’ through it, and to take control of my recovery instead. (Using the word ‘recovery’ instead of withdrawal always feels more productive to me).

 

I’ve no doubt you’re similar to me, as in exercise has always made you feel better, and if you’ve felt low, or tired, it can often give you a boost.

 

But it’s important to accept that things are temporarily different, and if you try and force your body to exercise too much, it will result in you feeling worse. Not accepting it and trying to behave as you always have will only result in recurring symptoms and a self-destructing frustration that will hinder your recovery.

 

I know that’s the opposite to what is considered ‘normal’, but it’s important to pace yourself and to slowly but surely improve. It’s not a quick fix, but it gives you the power and control, and saves your sanity!

 

PS: I love being active up in the snowy mountains too, although as we don’t have many in London so I usually have to go to the Austrian Alps. Can’t wait to visit again. 😊

[Terrie]

Hi Jon
Thanks so much for your support and encouragement. 
I only meant it was discouraging because you started this process nearly 3 years ago and you still can’t exercise full out. But then again it seems like you exercised all the way through until five months off. Like the other person who posted did. So strange.

 

I agree with everything you have said. Sometimes I have made plans with friends because I feel obligated and then I feel sick after. This week I went downhill skiing for 2 1/2 hours on Monday. I didn’t feel bad the next day. A little agitated and a little bit depressed but nothing compared to how I would normally feel. So on Wednesday I went to the gym and did a slow jog on the treadmill for 25 minutes and then weights, And left the gym after 45 minutes total. The next day I was in bed all day too tired to get up and do anything, depressed and  exhausted

Last night I had 10 hours sleep and I’m still totally exhausted. Also tremors. Some of the other things that I usually get like flu like symptoms are gone. The worst is the depression and agitation I get. I want to go back to work soon but any physical activity shakes me up too badly. I am a nurse but I work in the community so I am in and out of about six homes a day, carrying supplies. If somebody has wounds all over their body. I will be on my knees doing their foot wounds and then maybe the wounds on their back and then on their head.( Thinking of one patient) So I am up and down getting the supplies as I am working on them. Plus carrying my computer into the home etc. About  50% of the day is spent in the office which is better.

 

It is really difficult as far as an identity goes. I am well known in the ski  community for being the best female skier in the ski club. My nickname has been “legs of steel”. After doing 2 1/2 hours at the hill  the other day my “legs of steel” are so stiff and sore, from lack of use.  I wonder what I’m gonna be like when I’m through this. Am I gonna keep doing sports or will I lose my nerve? I didn’t start snowboarding (from skiing) until 4 years ago.It’s a nerve-wracking sport, but I put in 36 days the year before last and then about 20 last season ( started withdrawal) So I worked really hard and now I board all black runs. Don’t want to lose my progress.

I have a good friend “Peter “who took me out for lunch yesterday to encourage me. He is totally blind and I guide him skiing. I told him about my identity crisis. He said that I am not what I do but I am in my intrinsic value does not depend on what I do. He encouraged me even though knows that I might not be able to guide him this year. He is an amazing person. He lived alone before he got married. He worked full-time and was able to take an early retirement several years ago. I was able to talk to him about his struggles going blind. He was able to see pretty much with his nose on a book and tall grade 9 and  he couldn’t see it at all. Then it just got worse from there. He is truly an amazing person.

I think about the recent movie stars who have died, Bruce Willis , Olivia Newton John and Kristy Alley, all who struggled with cancer. Now Celine Dion with stiff person syndrome. I  used to hear stories like this and think how terrible it was. Their illnesses  were  all terminal so I am very lucky. I’ve been a nurse for many years and I’ve seen people not be able to do what they used to do. But until it happens to you you don’t really get it. It is such a grieving process.

Yes I’m going to get out with my volunteer group on Sunday nights even though they don’t need me indoors Just to be in the social situation.

I like what you had to say about the drugs that did the damage. I agree. I had such bad tremors from the Wellbutrin and possibly from the Cipralex /Lexapro whatever you call it wherever you are 🙂 I

 have an old friend that I run into a couple years ago. He’s been on bipolar medications for years. Now he has Parkinson’s from the medication‘s. He looks like a 75-year-old man at 57 years old. His tremors are visible his speech has changed and he looks like a typical Parkinson’s patient. That scared me. That was a big doctor in my deciding to come off medications. And yes if coming off the drugs has been this  traumatic what have they been doing to my system ?And how much worse would I be later? I have to keep telling myself that. They weren’t even working! I was on three medication’s and still 5-10/10 depressed all the time. 
And yes I think you did go through a  cold turkey  going from 2 mg to nothing. Not really mini though:( Maybe  that is the issue as to why you cannot exercise fully. What I have read any quick taper can result in withdrawal symptoms even months after quitting. That is so sad because you went down so slowly. You did everything right until the end But, youdidn’t know.

(II used a few “coaches ” (Same company) who took me off  2 meds in a month!! I Would love to sue but I did speak to a lawyer and it would probably take about $50,000 to maybe prove myself. Not worth it and lawsuits just keep your angry anyways.) I like that you call it recovery. The coach told me that you have to treat yourself like you had major surgery and it takes a while to recover. I get that part being a nurse but the unknown is the difficult part. With every surgery there is a known approximate recovery time.
I had to reinstate up to 1.25 mg, September 8. it is now December 9 and I am still at 0.66. The coach told me to go down every few days and get off of it quickly. I’m not going to do that anymore. Today I am decreasing to 0.5 mg. I’m too afraid to go any faster.

Thanks  again for all your kind words and taking the time to write. I know this is long.

Terrie 

 

[Altostrata]

On 12/9/2022 at 12:52 PM, Terrie said:

I had to reinstate up to 1.25 mg, September 8. it is now December 9 and I am still at 0.66. The coach told me to go down every few days and get off of it quickly. I’m not going to do that anymore. Today I am decreasing to 0.5 mg. I’m too afraid to go any faster.

 

@Terrie there's a reason we advise 10% reductions. You're still going too fast. Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

[Terrie]

Really? Ok,, I will stay at 0.66 for now. 

[Terrie]

I didn’t decrease to 0.5 like I thought I would. I chickened out 🙂 

[jon1]

Hey Terrie,

 

Yes, I was perfectly fine with exercise when I was tapering, and for the first few months after stopping completely. It was the fifth month when I felt like I'd been hit by a truck!

 

I get what you mean about the lack of consistency with symptoms too. Sometimes you can get away with doing a little bit more, but at other times, it's a big mistake. But you never really know until you've pushed yourself too far.

 

I've definitely noticed that cardio exercise affects me a lot more than using weights. I still watch very carefully what I lift (and much lighter than I did, often using bands), but it seems easier to get through than if I try to do anything that requires a bit more endurance.

 

I'm currently seeing a therapist who - as luck would have it - is also a sports therapist. As soon as I told her my symptoms she emphatically said 'it's cortisol!'. Our bodies aren't currently making enough of the 'good' neurotransmitters that normally keep cortisol in check, so it's essentially got free rein. It's perfectly normal to produce cortisol after exercise, but our bodies are making a lot, causing all the subsequent symptoms and crashes.

 

She's made me create custom workouts on my watch. So if I go for a walk, it will alert me when I'm halfway through and it's time to turn back. The idea is to increase the length of the walk slowly over time.

 

Gosh, I can see how nursing would absolutely tire you out; it's such a taxing and active job even when you're feeling great. Are your colleagues open to you working at the desk more until you recover, if that's possible?

 

If you haven't already (and if it's feasible), it might help to look into what the minimum amount of exercise you can do to maintain your current levels. For example, I was surprised to discover I only need to do a relatively light workout once every two weeks to maintain my current fitness, which is doable.

 

Another thing I've found is that using fitness bands doesn't seem to cause any symptoms. I've no idea why, as it still feels like a proper workout, but something about the way they work our muscles doesn't appear to trigger the same cortisol release. 

 

I bought some 'industrial strength' bands 😁which are really strong, they're nice and large, so it's even possible to perform squats with them. Maybe something like that could help you maintain your 'legs of steel'? 🦵

 

Jon

 

[Terrie]

OMG so slow is still too fast

 

Hi there

reinstated Lexapro at 1.25 mg September 8. I am down to 0.66 mg. I decreased to 0.5mg  six days ago and I am a wreck. I am 10/10 depressed, intrusive thoughts, raging etc. How can this be? One of my “coaches “ said to taper down and hurry up and get off of it, but I can’t. 
Today I went to a compounding pharmacy and I am going to start going down at 10% at a time. 

This is nuts! Can anyone relate?

Edited January 5, 2023 by manymoretodays
merged and added title

[manymoretodays]

Hi @Terrie

If it has only been 6 days then you do have the option of updosing back to your previous dose of 0.66 mg, either partway or all the way.

Were you doing a lot better while on 0.66 mg?

And if so, when did the increase in symptoms start in regard to your taper down to 0.50?

Yes....I calculated that your last taper was a 25% drop.

 

To figure out a 10% taper from say 0.66 mg you multiply (present) dose X 0.90.

And so that would have brought you to 0.59 mg or you might round up to 0.60 mg.

 

And some will do less than 10% at the lower doses too.

 

Sorry to hear you are still in a major struggle with WD symptoms.

 

Are you up and out more often now?  I remember you were not able to get out of bed or the house most days.

 

Coaches can be helpful I imagine, but listen well to your body, spirit, mind too......and ultimately you decide.  Lucky you to have coaches.

 

Yes, for sure this happened with me, way back when I really did not know of WD or tapering.  Massive drug changes or just being taken off one, and then major crash and boom......and then many months stabilizing again as well as adjusting to new medications.

Hoping you get back to baseline stability soon.  Which often is not complete healing, but a more tolerable baseline.

 

And best.

Oh, please post right here in your Introduction Topic.  That is best and saves staff time.  I've moved 2 new posts here this morning.  One was a duplicate of the other so that one is not in view.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Terrie]

Thanks for your support. I did go up to 0.66 again. I was doing better unless I exercised That’s why this is so strange. I haven’t exercised ( which is when I feel better ( cranky, irritable and depressed but not like this)

 

I have been crushing and using a razor blade. I have now taken a prescription to a compounding pharmacy. 
I am actually worse off now. Christmas and the hope of improvements in health and return to work soon gave me hope. But with over $400/ month of supplements and hormonal replacement therapy I am no better. I was also just diagnosed with chronic fatigue which is debilitating. 
I seriously don’t know where to go from here. Nobody seems to know psyc drugs. 
I have hardly any support because on the outside I look fine. I put on my happy face and carry on in social settings. If anyone would ask what I an REALLY going through I would tell them. My sisters know more than anyone but they never ask.

Just venting now. Crazy drugs. Crazy trying to get off them.

Thanks for reaching out

[manymoretodays]

Ooooh.  Thanks for reaching back.

I ran across an old post of mine where I had noted that my Mum(now passed) had said to me, "I wish you'd just get over this WD thing!" 

So I lost her, as far as continuing to talk about how I was. 

With her it was okay, as I'm so glad I shifted to taking care of her, and listening real hard to her health concerns and lonliness, and oh......just everything.  When she died she was 93 and still independent, living on her own.  Maybe I helped with that.

 

Anyway.....isn't that part of why these communities exist........to talk about with people who are or have been in the same boat.  As much as we want to.

So there other people!!!!

 

I know.  I am for the most part over the hump, on the other side, I don't know what to call it sometimes.........still though, I like to talk about it.  It's validating.  It's real.  And now........my greatest wish.......to prevent, for at least a few others.........going through what I did.  And for so, oh so many years.

 

Terrie, you sound better.  That's a plus.  Take it as a sign of healing.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Faure]

On 1/5/2023 at 7:38 PM, Terrie said:

was also just diagnosed with chronic fatigue which is debilitating. 

Hi I’m sorry you’re still feeling so bad. Just to say my doctor tried to diagnose me with chronic fatigue. I had many of the symptoms. But I *knew* it was the drugs. They make us feel so totally exhausted, and all the fighting our brain is having to do to stabilise makes us tired. So don’t lose hope regarding this *diagnosis*. It is the only thing they know how to do. They choose not to educate themselves about the huge downsides and side effects of these drugs and so draw on what they currently know and it’s often wrong. You need to rest to let your body deal with everything. As you stabilise and start to come out of this however long it takes, things will improve for you.

[Terrie]

Thanks so much! It feels like a life sentence:(

[jon1]

On 1/5/2023 at 7:38 PM, Terrie said:

Thanks for your support. I did go up to 0.66 again. I was doing better unless I exercised That’s why this is so strange. I haven’t exercised ( which is when I feel better ( cranky, irritable and depressed but not like this)

 

I have been crushing and using a razor blade. I have now taken a prescription to a compounding pharmacy. 
I am actually worse off now. Christmas and the hope of improvements in health and return to work soon gave me hope. But with over $400/ month of supplements and hormonal replacement therapy I am no better. I was also just diagnosed with chronic fatigue which is debilitating. 
I seriously don’t know where to go from here. Nobody seems to know psyc drugs. 
I have hardly any support because on the outside I look fine. I put on my happy face and carry on in social settings. If anyone would ask what I an REALLY going through I would tell them. My sisters know more than anyone but they never ask.

Just venting now. Crazy drugs. Crazy trying to get off them.

Thanks for reaching out

Hey Terrie, so sorry to hear you’re having a tough time.

 

Have you looked into ‘Adrenal Fatigue’ at all, which has similar symptoms to CFS? It’s not a particularly well known or publicised condition, but my therapist put me on to it after I described my exercise related symptoms to her.

 

Her theory is that the constant cycle of ‘trauma’ my CNS has gone through over the years of tapering and withdrawal has exhausted my adrenal glands. It means that now, any physical stress on my body causes an adrenal crash - which causes the symptoms in the days after exercise.

 

If it interests you, there is a lot of information on the internet, but I’ve found the most helpful to be the website below. The link is to one of the pages on exercise, but the site has a vast amount of information you may find useful.

 

https://www.drlamcoaching.com/adrenal-fatigue/lifestyle/adrenal-fatigue-and-over-exercising/

 

The good news is that it’s a condition you can recover from, it just takes patience and a slow and steady approach to exercise.

 

 

[Terrie]

Hi there 

thanks for your input. I have been seeing a functional medicine nurse practitioner. She said that my adrenals are working hard some parts of the day and the other parts of the day they’re not working hard enough. she helps me on some holistic supplements but no change so far. 
Thanks again 

Terrie

[Terrie]

Hi still on 0.66 mg Lexapro. Waiting to see if my insurance will approve compounding before decreasing any further.

I wish I have found this site earlier because I have done everything wrong. I started on massive dosages of supplements by True Hope. I also spent thousands of dollars on a functional medicine nurse practitioner who has me all hormonal replacement therapy. Since starting the HRT I am even more depressed than I was prior to starting it. 
I started taping in March 2022 with the “help “ of True Hope. They took me off 300 mg of Wellbutrin and Lexapro 10 mg in a month. I reinstated a little bit of Wellbutrin after being off of everything for a couple of weeks. Then they tapered me off that quickly. I was off everything for two months and had to reinstate Lexapro at 1.25 mg. 
This journey started 10 months ago and I am more depressed than ever despite being on massive doses of supplements and hormones. I’ve also been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome which started prior to withdrawal and just got worse.

Can anybody relate to this? I’m thinking about ditching all supplements and HRT. 
I really don’t know what to do. If I don’t get back to work soon I could lose my house. I would  sell it but rent where I live is almost the same as my mortgage and I have two dogs. 
I don’t really have windows. My life is one long wave. Actually I did have a good day on New Year’s Day and I think a good day somewhere in the fall. I seem to be spiralling downhill fast. My sister asked me if it was a good idea to go off of these medications. At least I was functioning. 
i am second guessing my decision and don’t know where to go from here. I have recently been calling crisis lines in the middle of the night. 
Any words of wisdom? Not looking for medical advice. Thanks 

[Altostrata]

Please add your updates to your Introductions topic -- this topic.

 

You are now experiencing antidepressant withdrawal syndrome first-hand. Nobody seems to like it.

 

On 1/12/2023 at 7:41 AM, Terrie said:

This journey started 10 months ago and I am more depressed than ever despite being on massive doses of supplements and hormones. I’ve also been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome which started prior to withdrawal and just got worse.

 

If they're not helping and the expense is a burden, you might stop them. Please note that you need to taper hormones.

 

As others have said above, I would take a diagnosis of chronic fatigue with a helping of salt, unless it's made by definitive tests. Otherwise, it's just a lazy guess and in the context of withdrawal syndrome, highly dubious.

 

Suggest you get as much exercise as you can do comfortably and very gradually increase it, as @jon1 recommended. You might also slip into working part-time, maybe a few hours a week at first, maybe even helping people taper antidepressants (if you can prescribe).

[manymoretodays]

On 1/12/2023 at 8:41 AM, Terrie said:

This journey started 10 months ago and I am more depressed than ever despite being on massive doses of supplements and hormones. I’ve also been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome which started prior to withdrawal and just got worse.

Can anybody relate to this? I’m thinking about ditching all supplements and HRT. 
I really don’t know what to do. If I don’t get back to work soon I could lose my house. I would  sell it but rent where I live is almost the same as my mortgage and I have two dogs. 
I don’t really have windows. My life is one long wave. Actually I did have a good day on New Year’s Day and I think a good day somewhere in the fall. I seem to be spiralling downhill fast. My sister asked me if it was a good idea to go off of these medications. At least I was functioning. 
i am second guessing my decision and don’t know where to go from here. I have recently been calling crisis lines in the middle of the night. 
Any words of wisdom? Not looking for medical advice. Thanks 

 

Yes, yes.......I can definitely relate Terrie.  I too, fell prey to True Hope and a too rapid reduction of a couple of meds/drugs I was on way back, while taking massive supplements.  I'm sure I wound up remedicated, possibly hospitalized myself at some point due to horrible WD(unknown to me, or any professional at that time).

 

Any chance of even temporary disability to help you?  Either through your employer or the government.  I know it's not ideal, and hoping it would only be temporary, but worth applying for.  Social Security.  You've no doubt paid into it. 

Do you have a doctor who might support this, that you really do have a current disability due to your drug management/mis-management?

 

I mean, on the ^,  if you are unable to work at all.......even at something more sedentary than you'd like.  If your thinking is okay you might be able to do something for pay now.  I might just apply if I were you though, as the system takes time, and more often rejects you for years.......before giving approval(social security). 

 

I also agree with Faure on that Chronic Fatigue diagnosis.  It may well be temporary as well.  I remember reading about it and the commonalities with it and Withdrawal Syndrome here:

https://beyondmeds.com/withdrawal-101/

Well, at BeyondMeds quite awhile ago.  I'm looking for the stuff on Chronic Fatigue, fibromyalgia, and Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome........and how it is all very similar.  Some may not be "chronic" either so maintain hope.  I'm certainly so much better now than ever........with endurance, energy, functioning, ability to do the things I love.  And I expect with your youth you might even fare better than I.

Ah......here is the part in the blog I wanted you to see:

https://beyondmeds.com/2013/07/08/psych-drug-withdrawal-cfs-fibromyalgia/

 

Autonomic nervous system

One theory of antidepressant withdrawal syndrome

And also, mentioned ^,  and at BeyondMeds, but more here:

Dysautonomia(autonomic nervous system dysfunction)

 

And Alto gave some good advice below around your supplements and hormones.

26 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

If they're not helping and the expense is a burden, you might stop them. Please note that you need to taper hormones.

 

Things WILL get brighter Terrie. 

 

Rooting for you and your healing.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Terrie,

Me, I would say just stick with the 0.66 mg of Lexapro now.

I wouldn't opt in for re-medication at all.

 

Although timely......or it will take time.......I think your ultimate healing/recovery might be better without re-medication.........hands down/for sure.  Despite what your sister is saying.  So few get the dangers of long term medication, and harm provoking tapering plans..........even still.........it's so tough.

 

Looking at your signature, I see you've had a 30 year history now of meds/drugs.  Were they started when you were a minor or in childhood?  Just wondering.  We do have other members with the same, if that is the case.

 

Not sure if you've seen this topic, so will include now:

Hypersensitivity and Kindling

 

Look to non-drug coping skills now or practices to help.  You'll be glad you did.  It's been worth it for me anyway........even with all of what could be termed "losses" in the process.  The gains have been huge.

 

Alrighty, best,

2 more posts to you above this,

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Faure]

Hi Terrie, it sounds like you are under a huge amount of stress and I’m really sorry this is happening to you. I’m so sorry things are so bad you’re having to call crisis lines. I have been there, I understand how awful things can get. 
 

Like you say, if only you’d found this website before. But you are here now and this is the place to get informed help, by those who have been through the same experiences and come out the other side. It may be time for you to start relying on yourself to make decisions based on research and advice from this website. Mods here have seen it all before and are best placed to help you. If you’re feeling like stopping HRT is the right decision for you then listen to yourself but, as Alto says, you must taper the hormones, don’t abruptly stop them. 

So I guess my “words of wisdom” are listen to yourself, trust yourself, do your research, take advice from here and then, most difficult of all, stick to the plan whether you feel good or bad. 
 

I really do hope you start getting some relief very soon.  Keep us posted as to how you are. 

[Terrie]

Hi there

I am writing this in hopes that somebody can give me some direction to ease my suffering so I can get my life back.

I went through two years of different medication trials was cold turkey off to drugs by a psychiatrist, reinstated tried to go off again then tried medication after medication. Finally got a little bit stable but the depression was  still severe on Lexapro 10 mg and Wellbutrin 300mg. Lost faith in doctors and psychiatrists.

After much research and the advice from a researcher at the University of Calgary I found a company called True Hope . They coached me to get off my medication and onto their supplements. they they had me offer both medications in a month. The beginning of my ordeal of tapering for a month starting March 7, 2022. After going berserk since my last dose was April 8 they reinstated me at 37.5 mg of Wellbutrin on April 20. I tapered off of that until July 2. Then I was off of everything. The withdrawal was unbearable. I had many biking trips planned over the summer and I had paid for a seasons pass to a bike park for downhill mountain biking. Whenever I would go biking I would be in bed for two weeks after severe severe severe withdrawal and intrusive thoughts.

finally on September 8 I reinstated 1.25 mg of Lexapro. Since then I’ve had it compounded and I’m now at .5 mg after slowly tapering for the last five months.

I cannot work because my emotions are too unpredictable, too unstable. My doctor wants me to track what and how much exercise I can do to keep myself stable( diagnosed with chronic fatigue) 

today I was in a very good mood for a change. I did an hour and 10 minutes of housework, light work like dishes and sweeping. Then I walked my dogs for 40 minutes and did 17 minutes of resistance band exercise as I’m trying to keep myself from atrophying from lack of activity.

well, after this little bit of activity and housework I feel like I want to stab my dog for pacing on the floor. I had continuous meltdowns all evening. I have tremors and feel sick to the stomach. Depression is starting to set the in.

I cannot afford to be off of work. I must get back soon but I can’t even function in my daily life, let alone snowboard and downhill ski and snowshoe the things I love to do in the winter.

there has got to be something I can do to stabilize so that I can get my life back. I’ve taken up a new form of art but I have no desire or creativity. It’s been 11 months and I don’t see any progress unless I do absolutely nothing and lay on the couch all day. That is the only way I can feel somewhat mentally normal. But, I don’t want to ruin my metabolism and lose all my muscle mass which is why I continue to walk and do band exercises. This is pathetically nothing compared to what I used to do. 

I’m not seeking medical advice I am desperate. I reached out to a psychiatrist Dr. James Greenblatt, Who deals with a Antidepressant withdrawal. But he’s not taking any new patients or  doing consuts. Neither is anybody who seems to know anything about this. It seems like there are very few doctors for probably thousands of people in my situation. 
also, I don’t have the money to pay for anybody to help me.

in the last couple of weeks I’ve had a psychologist, a naturopath and my sister suggest I go back on meds. I have the feeling that people think that I did this to myself so I have no support. 
Does anybody have any suggestions as to how to get my life back? I still talk to True Hope weekly but they are defensive when I suggest that they took me off of my medication’s too quickly. They tried to pressure me to finish the lost of my taper the last 0.5mg so that I can start to heal once I’m off the medication hundred percent. I’m not about to do that.

Thank you in advance for any words of wisdom you can give me. Please don’t come down on me for seeking medical advice.