SarahE: Wellbutrin cold turkey withdrawal

[SarahE]

Wellbutrin withdrawal cold turkey. Hello I’m new here and wanted some Insight on my story and what to do. I am suffering badly. My dpdr is what’s bothering me the most.

 

I will try to be as clear and chronological in the timeline of my story. It’s a lot to read so thank you for reading it. I am desperate but can’t be overwhelmed. I need help, advice, opinions, words of encouragement. I am a single mom of two children 8 and 10. I want to figure out how I got depersonalization/derealization, so I can fix it. Was it being over medicated, withdrawals CT, or my desperate attempt to find something wrong from the trauma that through me into a spiral of being scared of my body, heart rate, breathing, everything. Before this I went to my general check ups once a year. Never over and over to the doctors or emergency room or calling 911. 

 

My dpdr symptoms were pretty classic. Surroundings unfamiliar, family and friends unfamiliar, blurry visual snow, didn’t recognize my own bedroom or kitchen, watching myself from a distance, feeling everything was faraway and I felt set back, memories distorted, not remembering anything. 

 

Here’s the story…

Starting in 2020-2021 I tried Zoloft, prozac, and Wellbutrin for depression and anxiety. I stayed on Wellbutrin for a year. This was from my general practitioner. 
 
January 2022 I reached out to a psych nurse practitioner who had a practice that was for woman. My reasoning I made an appointment was because I was having really bad PMDD, it was very debilitating and the suicidal ideation was bad once a month but then would go away. She diagnosed me with high functioning anxiety and depression. I went to see her and she wanted me to taper off Wellbutrin and start Zoloft and Seroquel for sleep and mood stabilization. I was very reluctant to start Seroquel. After a few days I mustered up the courage. 

 

Five days into my regiment of three medications I started to feel off, very blank in the mind, and no thoughts. Just very flat like nothing bothered me. Later that day while driving I felt like I was going to pass out, my heart rate was 175, shaking, sweating, and high blood pressure. I called 911. I thought I was having a heart attack but instantly knew it was the medicine. 

 

I called my psychiatrist from the hospital and she said you had a panic attack, I can give you Ativan for that. Deep down I knew this was possibly an induced panic attack, solely from the medicine. This never would have happened if it wasn’t for the medicine. Never heard of a panic attack in my life. Something was very wrong that day. I sat in the waiting room for 7 hours and my body would heat up and when it would heat up my heart rate would go up. And for the next day my heart rate stayed above 100. I was an avid runner and know my normal heart rate was in the 50’s. 

 

I had blood work done prior to seeing the psych nurse practitioner. Just a basic panel for vitamins and iron. So they also did routine blood work that day in the emergency room. So I had something compare it to later on. All my blood work was elevated pointing towards neuroleptic malignant syndrome. That was my theory but everyone wrote me off and said no. 

 

She wanted me to do an out patient program and learn about panic attacks. So I took FMLA from work and do this program. While in this program no one would listen to me. I believed I was having severe withdrawals from cold turkey 309mg of Wellbutrin. I was shivering, sweating, now having severe panic attacks, anxiety attacks, couldn’t eat, and lost 30lbs. They kept saying I have anxiety and wanted me to take luvox. I said I was scared to take anything but I’ll take the Zoloft for something so I don’t withdraw. And they wouldn’t give it to me, neither would my psychiatrist. I was just a ticking bomb little did I know. I was getting terrible nerve pain/ electrical shocks down my body from head to toe. I eventually lost my sensation of thirst and sensation to go pee. I was continuing to be told I have anxiety.

 

I began googling, searching, visiting every doctor I could to find out what was wrong with me and what happened. I was scared to sleep, scared to take the medicine, scared to live. I thought my heart was going to stop. I made myself stay awake every day for 8 weeks. This manifested into being scared to leave the house, depersonalization/ derealization, agoraphobia, scared to drive, scared to cook, scared to leave my room, cried all day under my covers, scared to shop, scared to eat certain foods incase I had a reaction like the medicine, scared to sleep. Suicidal ideation was so bad. I am surprises I am here and still have my job. I wanted to die so badly. But I had my kids and knew a life without me for them would be worse. I could barley take care of them. I had this internal restlessness that wouldn’t go away. But again it was anxiety: I believe I was having akathisia. I was confused for simple stuff like getting ready for work, cooking, grocery shopping. I could t piece together what to do first. I wasn’t recognizing my own childrens faces. They said they can give me Adderall because I probably have ADHD. 

 

I had Brian MRIs, visited a cardiologist, and had so much blood work. The only thing that stands out in my blood work is low cortisol, and low iron. Which my iron was low before this. The cardiologist was the only doctor to help me through this. She reassured me my heart was fine and did lots of test to help my peace of mind and said to stay off the psych meds. I was able to call her for anything. She even gave me a referral to a urologist for the sensation being gone to use the bathroom. 

 

Through this my psychiatrist had me on Zoloft again, prozac, Luvox, Rexulti, Abilify, Seroquel again, Ativan, all only for a week or two. I would stop them on my own. Lamictal was the last one and it helped. Very strangely Zoloft gave me like an adrenaline rush that was very uncomfortable. Not hyper like a bi polar reaction. Almost like I was on ecstasy. I was reacting so differently to things I never did before. The one medicine I took for 5 weeks that worked was Lamictal. Which leads me to believe my glutamate in my brain was high. It helped my DPDR start going away and I feel better than I did. I am just scared it will come back. 

 

I used to be a very functional mother. I mourn my old life by looking at old pictures, old grocery pick ups, memories everywhere of what it used to be. I loved my iced coffees and being spontaneous with my children. I worked full time. I was the kook-aid mom everyone said. Ballet, soccer, kids parties, avid runner, 

Loved working, loved grocery shopping, gardening, decorating for the holidays. I was a year from my bachelors degree and accepted into a masters program. I was truly enjoying my life. I do t get the dopamine feeling from cleaning and listening to music. Everything is. Blank blur. It’s so weird and frightening. 

 

Now I just lay on the couch or bed staring at the blank ceiling or wall. I have nothing in my brain. It feels like my dopamine is gone. I get absolutely nothing no feelings from anything! The dopamine one gets from cooking, eating, listening to music, running. It’s gone. I don’t even have a runners high which was my favorite. I could run for miles with my music turned up and the best play list. Now no music gets me going. I’m just a blank slate and feel damaged. 

 

I  have so many unanswered questions to so many doctors who kept putting me off. It makes me so mad that I kept being wrote prescription and continuing to be diagnosed with new things…panic disorder, OCD, somatic anxiety and so many other things. Of course we all have anxiety and depression but I believe that day something happens to me that caused this. I do agree that it gave me PTSD. I was very traumatized by the event and all the stuff that has happened in the last 10 months to me. 

 

What happens to me? Did I get anxiety from this situation? Did I burn out my nerves if I lost sensations? Will they come back. Did I accidentally rewire my brain a certain way. What should I do? So many times I almost checked myself into the hospital. But this is not me at all. Those meds or cold turkey Wellbutrin did something to me. I never went to the doctor before this. But it became a regular thing. 

 

I am now taking b12, fish oil, extra b1 250mg. I know I can benefit from something else. Especially adrenal support. I can’t gain any weight after I quickly lost 30lbs. Which is very not like me. I’m very lost and confused. I want my life back. I want to be the mom I was. I loved my life before this and realize I took it for granted. I had no clue my life would change so much. My kids are paying the price. Im scared to leave the house and drive. I do work but that’s about all I can do. I have to. We don’t do things like I used to. It kills me inside. My brain is different. My personality is different. Please help. With Christmas coming it’s harder because I have no desire for anything happening around me. Not excited for decorating, presents, baking. It’s a very strange feeling. I am very grateful for being alive after what I’ve been through. I want to be around for my kids but I want to be back to my old self. I’ve called a naturopath and had a great conversation. It’s just to expensive. Maybe soon in March I can. For now, it’s just me helping myself. 

 

I strongly believe yes this stemmed from anxiety but it was caused from the medicine trauma and also believe I am deficient somewhere and it can be an easy fix. I believe my adrenals are burnt out from releasing so much cortisol constantly, that’s why it was low in the morning. But not Addison’s disease. Am I stuck this way forever and my cognitive function gone forever? 

 

Thanks for reading this. I know it was very long and confusing. Never in my life did I think I would be in this situation.

 

Edited November 19, 2022 by ChessieCat
added topic title and spacing

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @SarahE

 

What drugs are you taking now, at what times o'clock and dosages?

 

This may help you answer whether any of your symptoms might have been adverse effects of your drugs or combinations: Interactions Checker

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

 

[SarahE]

Just trazodone occasionally for sleep

[Altostrata]

Still need this, thanks. Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Dragoon909]

Hi there, Sarah

 

I'm in somewhat the same predicament with the derealization. It just came all of a sudden when I got up one morning. 

I've been off all meds for 10 years now, and obviously had a setback from a supplement or nicotine gum.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to chime in, and let you know you're not alone with the derealization.  The way you described it is like mine...exactly. I'm having time distortions as well. 

 

So discouraged and tired. 

 

I didn't mean to intrude on your conversation,  but had to sympathize. 

 

I hope you feel better soon. 💗 

 

D. 

[SarahE]

Thank you! It’s terrifying. How long have you had derealization?

[Dragoon909]

33 minutes ago, SarahE said:

Thank you! It’s terrifying. How long have you had derealization?

Since the beginning of November. 

 

Yes it is terrific. 

 

I wish it would go. Can't feel much emotion for weeks. 

 

It's like someone pushed me into a cave.