Theousa: a year of painful withdrawal

[Theousa]

Hello, I come here to look for some hope because right now I don't have much left.  I took escitalopram for a year and a half following a professional burnout.  Of course I trusted the doctor and I didn't know the repercussions it was going to have on my life.  I was better with the treatment but I felt denatured and I had a lot of side effects, especially my memory and the feeling that everything was going over my head.  It was not me.  So I decided to stop it overnight it was a dose of 10mg.  I had some pretty bad side effects.  It's been a year since I quit cold turkey drugs.
I list the side effects I had that went away:

Insomnia (the first three months I wake up frequently after 2 hours of sleep and cannot go back to sleep).  That's improved I can now sleep 9 hours.

Intolérance au son et à la lumière, maux de tête, vertiges, démangeaisons cutanées surtout au dos, malaise intense, incapacité à fonctionner normalement.

Tous ces symptômes ont disparu, j'étais incapable de travailler et j'ai depuis repris un emploi à temps plein. Certaines choses se sont améliorées comme mon sommeil après quelques mois de sevrage ma mémoire est redevenue normale. Par contre j'ai des effets persistants genre brouillard cérébral même si ça s'améliore j'ai souvent l'impression d'être à l'ouest. J'ai du mal à me concentrer. J'ai aussi des problèmes sexuels qui sont apparus depuis le sevrage et qui m'inquiètent beaucoup car il n'y a pas eu d'évolution depuis.

At now one year of withdrawal, do you think it is too late to reintegrate?  I don't know if I have to persist in this voice because even if I have seen improvements (and fortunately moreover because it was hell the first months), I also have symptoms that don't go away  and time passes.

I feel very anxious just thinking about how much a sencer treatment to help me get better (according to the doctor who prescribed it to me at the time) made me feel worse than I was.  .
I managed to get a full-time job after the first three months of withdrawal where it was impossible for me to work, I've been hanging on to it since, but it's hard on a daily basis.

I wonder if I'm still going to improve sometimes I have the impression that it won't evolve anymore I feel resigned.

Je viens ici chercher des conseils et de l'aide car j'ai lu des success stories et beaucoup de gens bienveillants et surtout je n'ai plus envie de m'occuper du domaine médical.

[Onmyway]

On 11/26/2022 at 12:38 PM, Theousa said:

ntolérance au son et à la lumière, maux de tête, vertiges, démangeaisons cutanées surtout au dos, malaise intense, incapacité à fonctionner normalement.

Tous ces symptômes ont disparu, j'étais incapable de travailler et j'ai depuis repris un emploi à temps plein. Certaines choses se sont améliorées comme mon sommeil après quelques mois de sevrage ma mémoire est redevenue normale. Par contre j'ai des effets persistants genre brouillard cérébral même si ça s'améliore j'ai souvent l'impression d'être à l'ouest. J'ai du mal à me concentrer. J'ai aussi des problèmes sexuels qui sont apparus depuis le sevrage et qui m'inquiètent beaucoup car il n'y a pas eu d'évolution depuis.

At now one year of withdrawal, do you think it is too late to reintegrate?  I don't know if I have to persist in this voice because even if I

Translation of the above: 

intolerance to sound and light, headache, dizziness, itchy skin especially on the back, severe malaise, inability to function normally.

All of these symptoms disappeared, I was unable to work and have since returned to full time employment. Some things have improved like my sleep after a few months of withdrawal my memory is back to normal. On the other hand I have persistent effects like brain fog even if it improves I often have the impression of being in the west. I have trouble concentrating. I also have sexual problems which have appeared since weaning and which worry me a lot because there has been no progress since.

 

Dear @Theousa, 

welcome to SA. I am sorry you have had to deal with these symptoms for over a year and even have to stop working. That is rough. 

After one year we would not advise reinstatement especially as the worst symptoms seem to have improved slowly. The rest of them will improve as well slowly. We advise that you treat your nervous system very gently - no other psychoactive drugs whether they are prescribed or not - esp alcohol, weed, recreational drugs.  Sometimes caffeine, vitamins (D and some Bs), steroids may set people back as well. You may use non drug techniques for managing emotional symptoms. 

Are We There Yet? How Long Is Withdrawal Going To Take? - Tapering - Surviving Antidepressants

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

Can you please fill in your drug signature as well - How to List Drug History in Signature - Introductions and updates - Surviving Antidepressants

 

 

Hope you start feeling much better soon,

OMW

[Theousa]

Hello @Theousa and thank you for your message, my sleep is improving more and more qualitatively and in terms of duration I sleep much longer without waking up and insomnia which is pleasant I am more relaxed at work and rest despite the brain fog still being  present and quite disabling at times.  All of this is slowly getting better for me I hope one day the pressure in my head will go away for good.  Do you think I was right to stop my antidepressant all of a sudden?  Does that give me as much of a chance to heal as someone who tapered slowly.  You are right after so much sacrifice this year I will not take the risk of reinstatement and continue on my way.  What worries me and scares me is sexually because I have very short reports compared to before taking the antidepressant and while I am taking it.  My penis also no longer has the same dimension and that frustrates me. I don't dare meet because I feel that down below I no longer have too much feeling.  I have some morning erection but compared to before my libido is almost nil.  I don't know if I will be able to bear it because all this appeared during withdrawal.  Have you seen people get over it and did it take a long time?  I set goals like getting back to sport I read a topic that mentioned that it would increase serotonin and dopamine levels naturally and help with stress.  I will try a very gradual recovery to see how it affects me.  Regarding supplements I tried marine magnesium only nothing else.  I don't see a big positive or negative difference at the moment I've been taking it in the morning before going to work for two weeks.  Any advice or discussion with members to help each other would be welcome take care of yourself and thank you for creating this site because the medical field does not really help except to say that the poison is no longer present in my body and  so it's mental.  I can see that no so I stopped consulting except to do blood tests soon.  What do you recommend as a diet please?

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Theousa It seems you're doing a bit better. How have your symptoms changed in the last month?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Theousa]

 

On 20/12/2022 at 00:11, Altostrata said:

Bonjour,@Théousa Il semble que tu vas un peu mieux. Comment vos symptômes ont-ils changé au cours du dernier mois ?

 

Pour nous aider, suivez ces instructions . Veuillez résumer votre historique de médicaments et de sevrage dans votre signature. Vous devrez peut-être utiliser un ordinateur pour ce faire.

 

Hello, I come to do a little update on my condition which unfortunately is not better sexually there is no improvement and it scares me.  I am very afraid that it will never return to normal or that it will take many years when it is now that I should enjoy life.  I'm distraught I don't know what to do and the doctors are no help. 

 

My symptoms haven't changed much except that when I exercise I have like hot pressure in my head and mental confusion for two days, then it's back to normal after that.  Surely the fact that serotonin increases during jogging while the ADs have modified my serotonin too.  I don't know anything about it but even if my sleep has improved I already sleep longer without too many nocturnal awakenings but it's not a restful sleep I don't have that feeling anymore.  Like the orgasm I lost while taking antidepressants, I don't think I'll ever get it back.  I am upset today.  And I don't see a positive outcome, yet I tried to tell myself it would be better.  But for 1 year sexually nothing has changed

[Altostrata]

You have reported improvement. No further discussion until you summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

[Theousa]

On 07/01/2023 at 04:15, Theousa said:

.

Hello everyone, I have a question. I am 11 months away from escitalopram and I have a lot of questions about the future and about my life.  My sleep has improved the fatigue a little too but on the other hand I still have a big brain fog, I am disconnected from people.  My emotions are completely blocked.  How long can it take in withdrawal to return to normal?  It's also horrible sexually, no more libido since stopping, premature ejaculation, orgasm without pleasure and shrunken penis.  Some here it is put back?  Premature ejaculation is resolved over the years or practice?  As a last resort I plan to take the antidepressant again if it doesn't work out because it's not a life.  I'm in my thirties and on an antidepressant my sexuality at least looks like something.  I noticed the shrinkage of my sex after stopping the antidepressant.  Do you think if I take it back my penis will return to a normal size?  Or could it be worse.  I see a lot of people saying never take an antidepressant again, it's a poison.  I know it .. but "living" like this for more years I will not accept it I am very depressed at the moment

For my signature I tried from my phone but I can't find it and I don't have a computer

[Altostrata]

Most likely, your penis will be fine.

 

Your other questions cannot be answered until we can see your drug history. Please add your signature at your earliest convenience.

[Fairsome]

@Theousa How is the PSSD at the moment? I also have shrunken and numb penis, it is just sick. I hope that you are doing better