Monkey: Lexapro tapering or reinstatement advice please?

[Monkey]

Hello, newbie here although I've been reading a lot before joining. Looking for some advice about tapering/reinstating AND hear some personal stories if anyone is or has gone through the emotional upheaval and negative self talk I am currently experiencing. (different forum topic entry)

 

I've been off and on (mostly on) a variety of medications since I was about 7 years old.  I was able to stop quite quickly without many problems several times until my mid 20's when I was forced to taper off Ativan VERY slowly due to WD symptoms.  After the Ativan taper I did pretty well without it and no symptoms worthy to recall.  Then at some point was put on Xanax for which I successfully tapered off  3 years ago.  

 

More recently, I started trying to taper off Lexapro starting in September. I wanted off because of side effects, especially daily fatigue and lack of motivation.  I also quit cigarettes during this time (2.5 months free from them now).  This probably didn't help my serotonin levels.  Also cut out sugar/sweets for a time as well which also probably didn’t help my serotonin levels. 

 

The first drop went quite well except for a big increase in OCD and anxiety…but seemed manageable so I dropped the dose down again. And then dropped it down again. Basically going from 13.25 mg (previously compounded dose since I was so sensitive to changes) to 11.5 in a few weeks.  After reading on these forums I realize that might now have been the wisest thing to do. Anxiety and OCD became worse.

 

So I've tried to taper back UP.  Bought a scale to help.  

 

Currently at 12.75 mg for a few weeks and nothing was getting worse or better PHYSICALLY so dropped it down to 12.70 (pretty small drop I thought) but symptoms worsened especially mentally/emotionally which hadn't been doing well to begin with....so kicked it back up to 12.75 for the last week or so. I've not really stabilized symptoms - wise, since hitting 11.5 last month . I have also had a TON of stressors (starting a business despite social anxiety). Then even more stressors on top of that more recently. I had anxiety so bad last week, I wound up taking a 1/4 of a Xanax.  Didn't want to ... but it did seem to calm my BODY down. 

But emotionally/mentally... I don't seem to be able to bounce back from the stressors of the last couple months on top of the taper. 

 

 While I am wanting to know if I should just reinstate the 13.25 and stabilize or continue the upwards taper until I see some improvement?  Go to a different antidepressant?  Stay at the present dose?  If the advice is for increasing it back up bit by bit…. how long to wait between each increase if no improvement is seen?  Or stay at what I'm at til….???    I don't know if I can stay where I am at because the current mental/emotional component is really upsetting as well as some physical symptoms (which I am putting in a different entry)

 

 

Thank you,

Monkey

Edited December 3, 2022 by manymoretodays
name to title

[Monkey]

Titled: Emotional and physical roller coaster

 

I just posted another topic regarding needing advice on my taper (which I pretty much screwed up) but decided to post a different topic on the physical and emotional aspects of my taper.   

 

Feeling quite alone in this taper.  I would really like to hear some personal stories if anyone is or has gone through the emotional upheaval and negative self talk I am currently experiencing.

 

Right now I am in a pretty dark place. Lots of muscle tension and physical pains.  If one thing doesn't hurt, its another.  And oddly, I am experiencing easily fatigued muscles.  Especially in the forearms and shoulders.  It's like I'm lifting weights type of fatigue and sometimes even with the muscle "burn" but getting it from just petting the dog or neck muscles fatiguing while chewing ( but no actual weakness...already ruled out by a neurologist).   Has anyone else experienced feelings of  muscle fatigue on their taper? 

 

Also, feeling hopeless, like a failure, very depressed. A LOT of negative self talk. Lack of motivation.   Has anyone else experienced such a negative outlook about oneself while on a taper? Feeling like this is just me and it's going to last forever.   

 

Thank you

Monkey

 

Edited December 3, 2022 by manymoretodays
added title, merged topics

[manymoretodays]

We'll get to you soon Monkey.  ASAP.  Thanks for your patience and for getting your signature done too. 

[Onmyway]

Hi @Monkey

welcome to SA. 

 

I am so sorry you have been drugged from such a young age without your consent and with so many drugs. Thank you for writing your signature. 

 

I have dealt with a lot of the fatigue that you describe - for me it comes and goes in the windows and waves fashion but when it comes it is as if I have been run by a truck. Like you I don't have actual weakness (though have had it at different times) but the feeling of weakness - even small movements seem overwhelmingly effortful. During those days I work from bed as much as I can and rest. 

 

The best way to see if someone else has dealt with similar symptoms is to go to the Symptoms forum and do a site search for the symptom. You will for sure find someone else with your constellation of symptoms. You can then chat with them by posting on their thread or on the specific symptoms thread. That latter forum also has lots of advice on how to deal with emotional negativity. 

 

Regarding your question about updosing - it seems like your system is hypersensitive from withdrawal. Multiple withdrawals over time will create kindling (pls look up the thread on hypersensitivity and kindling) what that means is that any introduction or increase in dosage of a psych drug (or other psychoactive substances like drug or alcohol or even caffeine sometimes) will likely be making you worse. You already seem to be observing this. As such (and on principle) SA will never recommend psych drugs except in an effort to reduce withdrawal effects - we do not believe these drugs are better than placebo based on the scientific evidence.  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4172306/ 

 

We do not recommend 'the right' drug to take or the right cocktail - we are strictly a place to advise on coming off of drugs in the least detrimental way. 

 

I would recommend that you don't make any more changes to your doses for now - that increases hypersensitivity of the nervous system in our experience and makes things harder. Do not lower or increase doses for a good 4 weeks, possibly more, until you stabilize a bit. 

In the meantime, you can use non drug techniques to manage your symptoms - lots of members find Claire Weekes methods useful to deal with anxiety - look up her videos on youtube or her book. There is a thread on this site as well. 

 

Good news is things will get better as long as you keep things stable and do not change things. Bad news is that it may take a while - it took me about 4-5 months to get to withdrawal normal where my symptoms were more bearable after I stopped messing with new drugs [I attempted xanax, hydroxyzine, klonopin to help with the symptoms] and stopped tapering citalopram. I did see gradual improvements during that period but at 4-5 months things were substantially different. For the muscle tension you may want to  try magnesium sulfate baths (epsom salts). Magnesium pills (I like mag citrate as they don't hurt the tummy) can also be very helpful esp when your nervous system is activated. 

 

Hope you start feeling better soon, 

OMW 

Edited December 3, 2022 by Onmyway

[Monkey]

Thank you Manymoretodays and Onmyway.  

It helps to know at least someone else is experiencing the weak but not weak feelings. It had be running to a neurologist. 

I've also watch a couple of the Weekes videos.  

Monkey

[manymoretodays]

Hi Monkey,

How's it going?

Can you get some of the dose and date details in your signature for the Lexapro?

Easy access:  AccountSettings/updates/edits  Then make sure and hit SAVE at the bottom there when done.

I'm reading your tapering details in the narratives, but it's just not clear in your signature.

Starting dose, taper doses and dates, even current dose with date.

 

Thanks.  That will be helpful.

Oh my, long history of these drugs, since you were 7 years old.  Woah.  I'm glad you joined us here, and glad you are seeking more tapering advice and support too.  I think it will pay off.  You sound to be doing fairly well, unless I'm reading wrong.

I'm going to just give you some basics here now, around harm reduction tapering, and WD(withdrawal). 

And.....I'm glad OMW could relate to your symptoms.  They sure do sound like WD symptoms. 

 

Oh, and glad you found your way to some non-drug coping too.  Claire Weekes stuff can be real helpful.

 

Here at Surviving Antidepressants, it is recommended that a person taper by no more than 10% of their current dose with at least a four week hold in-between decreases.  The 10% taper recommendation is a harm reduction approach to going off psychiatric drugs.

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Tips for tapering off Lexapro

 

A little about what happens when we take the drug(s) and then when we try to get off.  Also WD:

Brain Remodelling

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Dr.Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made.  The CNS likes stability. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur. And sleep is really important during withdrawal. 

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system.  

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

And as you had done a bit of updosing, here is our topic on reinstatement, and it does apply to updosing as well:

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

And I agree  with OMW, you may do best just holding steady right now, and for at least another month.  At which time you could resume your taper.  Good to plan in advance too, so hopefully some of this ^ will help you to do that.

 

Welcome again.  Don't be shy. This is your introduction/journal page where you have now introduced yourself to the community, you can ask questions here regarding your tapering, give updates, and just keep a record of your journey.

 

Hope this finds you well enough,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt