HughesEddie: I was on mirtazapine/remeron for 8 months (including taper), tapered too quickly. Looking for people who were only on for a short period to get an idea of possible recovery time.

[HughesEddie]

Hello.

 

I am a 32 year old man, who was on mirtazapine for about 8 months all in all. I am hoping there are people on here who have shared a similar experience to myself on this awful AD that I can hopefully compare the WD recovery time to get an idea of how long it will take to feel myself again, so here goes. (Please forgive me as I can’t remember the exact dates of when I changed doses).

 

I started taking 15mg of mirtazapine in late October 2021. After a little while (I think about a month or 2) I found I still felt terrible, so I upped my dosage to 30mg, 2 15mg tablets of mirtazapine. After a bit of being on 30mg, I grew suspicious that it was the AD that was making me feel not quite myself. So I decided I was going to start reducing the dosage and eventually stop taking them. Throughout all of this, I had absolutely no idea about anti depressants, and exactly how much they affect you mentally, and exactly how difficult it was to get off of them. But, before finding this fantastic website and community of truly inspirationally and amazingly strong people, I had no idea that tapering needed to be done far slower than what I’d done. Before mirtazapine, I was never the kind of person to

need any kind of medication to help with mental struggles. But after a few tough periods in my life, I regrettably decided to give them a try. But, as forementioned, after a while I decided I wanted to stop them. I now know that I’d tapered too quickly. Once i had decided I wanted to stop, I went down from 30 mg, to 22.5mg (1 and a half 15mg tablets) for about 2 weeks. Then from there back down to my original dose of 15mg. While on this dosage, I decided to stay on 15mg for a month. Then after a month, I went down to 7.5mg (one half of a 15mg tablet). I again stayed on this dosage for a month, before I decided to stop completely. After a month - 5 weeks, I began to feel absolutely terrible, and ended up going back on to 7.5mg for about 3 weeks, before I decided to give it another go to stop completely. I’m pretty sure from starting AD, to tapering, to stopping, to returning back on to 7.5mg, to stopping again completely, altogether took about 8 months. From late October 2021, to June 22 2022 (which is one date I do remember). And I have not taken mirtazapine, or any other kind of psychiatric medicine since. After the first 2 months of stopping completely, I felt I was doing quite well. And then around the end of month 2, I started getting hit by many of the symptoms that I read about on here. It is the 1st of December at the time of writing this post, so I have been completely AD free for about 5 months, and a week or so. 
 

As I stated at the start of this post, I hadn’t been on the AD very long by the standards of what I read on here, but since becoming a member of this amazing website, I do now understand that I tapered very, very quickly. It has crossed my mind to go back onto mirtazapine, and try to taper properly, but, having made it across the 5 month mark, I don’t want to give up all of the hard work I have already done to get this far. As although it has been an absolutely horrendous struggle, I vowed to myself that I am just going through withdrawal (which I now understand since becoming a member), and would not take any AD ever again, and to just keep cracking on. But again, as mentioned at the start of this post, I am looking for anybody that might have been on mirtazapine for a similar time period to myself, and wether recovery is a little quicker due to not being on it for very long. Although I did taper very quickly.

 

I have a loving girlfriend, and 2 beautiful children, of 12 and 9 years old, and I just want to feel myself again so I can enjoy watching them grow properly and be there for them. It has been a huge struggle these last few months of living in what I feel is now a strange world compared to how I used to feel before taking mirtazapine, and just want to feel back to my old self. I feel like I now come across as weird to my friends as I have kind of, completely changed as a person. What must seem like to them like almost overnight. I don’t do any of the things I used to, and even struggle to go out of the house and live the old life I used to. (Although my friends have not mentioned anything of the kind, that is just the way I feel myself).

 

I understand I haven’t even been in WD as long as what I was on the AD for, but surely as I wasn’t on them for very long compared to some of the people I read about on here, the WD may not last as long? It is by far the biggest regret of my life ever taking mirtazapine, and I really hope soon I can become my old self again, which I have even had thoughts may never happen. So if there is anybody on this website that was on mirtazapine for a short period like myself, and can shed any light on how long this horrible ordeal lasts for, I would be immeasurably grateful for any feedback. As I now feel like I am an anxious mess in all honesty. I have blurred vision, light sensitivity, and just feel like the world isn’t really real anymore. I also don’t enjoy things like I used to and just feel like a numb zombie. I keep telling myself it is just WD, but wow, this is so hard and in all honesty I just want it to be over and be back to my old self again. I don’t want to dread having to try to seem normal while socialising, or sometimes make up a story as to why I can’t make it so I don’t have to even go at all.

 

Many apologies for what must seem like the ramblings of a madman 😂 but i am just trying to get all of the info in there somehow. And also, well done to absolutely everybody on this website for making it this far. Like I see many other saying on here, and what I am trying to keep telling myself, KEEP FIGHTING, WE WILL GET BETTER!!

 

Thank you for reading, and I look forward to any possible feedback.

 

Thanks.

[Santino]

Hi HughesEddie

I believe you will be ok my friend. Taking a decision for the best of your life makes a lot of sense.

Me myself was a short time user of benzo and mirtazapine around 2-3 months but i took around 2 years to properly taper and today i am having a totally normal life. I have been there where you are and i have come back. So can you my friend.

Below you will find my two topics in the group. The first is my intro and the second link is my success story. Read them as an intro to your journey my friend. You will get your life back for sure.
 

 

 

[HughesEddie]

Hi Santino,

 

Thanks so much for the reassuring reply, and support. It means so much.

 

I had absolutely no idea that taking and coming off of AD’s had quite this much of an effect on people mentally. I just hope I get back to normal ASAP, because as you obviously know, this is not nice at all!.

 

Again, thanks so much for taking the time to reply.

[HughesEddie]

Hello all,

 

I would like to start by thanking everybody for their posts, which have given me a lot of info on mirtazapine that I didn’t know.

 

But wow, after reading this I have realised that I tapered FAR TOO FAST, due to not knowing the nature of what anti depressants can actually do to you.

 

I started 15mg mirtazapine late October 2021. It helped at first, but after a while found that I started feeling really bad mentally, far worse than I felt before trying mirt. This is the only AD that I have ever taken. So I decided to move my dosage up to 30mg (two 15mg tablets) around what I think was December 2021 time (I can’t fully remember). And again, after a while I again, started feeling terrible mentally. After some time I believe I worked out that it was the mirtazapine itself that was making me feel so bad, and not like myself anymore. So stupidly, I decided to start reducing my dose, without knowing the ramifications of how detrimental this can be when not done properly (this was before I found this brilliant website, and knew absolutely nothing about AD’s). So here goes.

 

About mid February 2022, I reduced my dose down to 22.5mg (one and a half 15mg tablets). Then after 2 weeks, I again reduced down to one 15mg tablet (which is what I originally started on) at the start of March 2022. I felt quite bad after reducing again so this time I decided to stay on a dose for a month as opposed to 2 weeks. Then at the beginning of April 2022 I reduced again down to 7.5mg. Then at the beginning of May 2022, after another month on 7.5mg, I stopped taking them completely. After a month I started to feel horrendous, so I reinstated the 7.5mg dose. Then after another 3 weeks, I decided to give stopping completely another go, on June 22nd 2022. That is the last time I took mirtazapine. Now with a very strong resolve and determination, I promised myself that no matter how badly it got, I WOULD NOT reinstate. And for the first 2 months or so everything was going okay, I still felt pretty bad, but hadn’t gotten worse. Then since finding this site, I now know what must have been with withdrawals hit me. And I have been up and down ever since. I am now coming up to 6 months since last taking mirtazapine. I have some really bad days, and some good days. I’m pretty sure I am suffering from de-realisation and de-personalisation, as well as bouts of panic and anxiety, especially when I go out of the house. And my brain feels super slow to what it used to and I am quite forgetful, along with quite a few other symptoms I have seen while reading on here. I feel completely dis-functional compared to how I used to. I am doing my best to be there for my family and friends when they need me, but don’t feel like I am doing a very good job of it, as I get very stressed and panicked very easily now.

 

I have considered reinstating and trying a proper taper at times. But after battling through what sometimes has been absolute hell for the past 6 months, I am very hesitant to do so. It would feel like a huge step back in progress after all the hard work throughout the past 6 months I feel I have put in. And after fighting through the last 6 months, would it even be any quicker? I am unsure as I don’t feel educated enough on the AD subject altogether. And just don’t want to feel like the past 6 months of suffering and battling to feel like a complete waste, because as pathetic as it sounds, I am actually quite proud of myself for hanging in there, and also don’t want to be jumping on and off, after stopping, reinstating, then stopping again after the 3 weeks in June. And of course, such a quick taper.
 

I just wish I would have been aware of this fantastic website before actually starting my taper and stopping the mirt. But as I have now realised I tapered far far too quickly, and am unsure of how long this will last for, and how severe it may get. I am not entirely sure if I have gotten better or worse over the past 6 months, as I have good and bad days as previously stated, what I now know to be called the waves and windows syndrome. But due to having a bit of both, it’s quite balanced to quite hard to determine wether I have gotten better or worse. In myself I feel like I’ve made progress, but wether I am correct or not is another thing.

 

Thank you so much to anybody that has read this, and any feedback would be hugely, and gratefully appreciated.

 

But if there is one thing that I have learnt since being on this website, is to hang in there, and WE WILL GET BETTER. So anybody struggling that may be reading this right now, please, know you are not alone, and we are all with you, we can do this 💪😎

[Altostrata]

Hello, @HughesEddie, how are you doing?