Jones2000 19 month in WD. Good Windows, but waves are still hitting out of the blues.

[Jones2000]

Hey, i am 22 years old and took Venlafaxin 6 month against pain. While i was on the meds, i felt terrible and wanted to get of them. After 4 month I tapered them for 2 month. 

In July 2022. Now i am almost 19 month out. 

And I am slowly recovering. Had a wounderfull window that lasted a good 12 day's, not perfect but i was sure, that i will recover in the next 12 month. 

 

I wasn't able to watch Netflix or stuff like that for a good 15 month. But now i was more and more calm and could concetrate on something. 

 

Had millions of symptoms, strange toughts fellings, suicidal ideation... and so on. 

Never had that before. 

 

I hope that i can write a sucess story in this forum in the next 12 month. But from now, i have way's to go. When I would feel like all the time like i feel in my windows.. i would say i am almost recovered. 

 

But the waves hitting to strong, to just live with them. And the windows aren't perfect. 

 

So I guess TIME is the ultimate healer. 

 

I tried everthing, but nothing really worked than giving my brain the time it needs. 

 

Jones

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Jones2000

 

Good to hear your symptoms have improved somewhat. It is characteristic of waves that they occur "out of the blue", or after events such as drinking alcohol, taking another drug or antibiotic, staying up too late, over-exercise, or a spike in situational stress.

 

It will take time for your nervous system to settle down more.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Please let us know how you’re doing.

 

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Jones2000]

Thank you very much for the answer. I tried those suplements but they didn't harmed me, but also didn't realy helped me.

I was for a long time just a quite reader. I would say without the forums and stories, I don't know if I had made it that far. 

 

The first 6-7 month my WD got worse over time. Than it settled down, and got much better over the last 10 month! 

I am now in the waves and windows pattern. So I get more and more times where I feel good, but also the times where it's raugh. 

 

Those Bad times are getting easier and shorter in average.. so I guess it's just time and the will to survive. 

I understand, why the name of the Forum is survivingAD's. Because the WD is brutal (in my experience).

 

2022 was the most difficult year of my life. But I made it trough. No Idea how, but I made it. 

The last 12 day's or so, I had the most amazing window ever, and I tought i made it trough it. But It's still the waves and windows.

 

But I try not to fear the waves anymore, just live with them. It's hard and I hate this time of my live. But it's the only way to reach my dreams and goals! 

 

But I guess there are only 3 options:

 

- 1 go trough it.. until it's over

-2 Take some stupid Pills like Haloperidol that make you an alien,

-3 give up. But that's no Option. I love live. And I suffered so long now. Even when it's a good year more to feel good all the time.. I will get this.

 

So I chose option 1.

 

I won't write too much here, because I am just focusing going trough that time until I am healed. 

 

I will let you know, when I am healed and the suffering is over! 

 

I am definitive recovering. I am able to do so many more things than even 6 month ago. 

 

But it's still not enaugh and I need some more time. 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

That's right, hang in there!

 

When you first started venlafaxine, what effects did you feel?

[angela9985]

hello Jones! Thank you for your encouraging words in my thread. I am so sorry that you suffered that long, but from someone post crash three months, you are already a success story!

If you don't mind, is it possible if you could share what withdrawal symptoms you had? Thank you so much!

[Jones2000]

@Altostrata

 @angela9985

I startet venlafaxine in 28.11.2020 and stopped in 07.07.2021. 

I am now 19 month and 10 day's off. 

  

So to asnwer you question angela9985: I had millions of symptoms. Physical and mental ones. 

 

But only the mental ones broght me to the edge of sanity. And I still get bad waves out of the blues. 

 

But all in all it's getting slowly better.

[Altostrata]

What early symptoms have gone away? What are the symptoms you feel in your waves?

[Jones2000]

@Altostrata Deep Depression (never had that before taking those pills. Took them against pain), intrusive toughts, can't eat or do anything.

 

And million other symptoms like fatique, dizzines, electric shock sensetions on my skin, akathisia, extrem muscle stiffnes (to the point where i couldn't walk or take a shower).

 

And that all because of 8 month this drug.

 

I am having now a 3 weeks wave, almost 20 month out. It's the worst since ages.

Lost 15 kg in 3 weeks. And my brain thinks that feelings like: I am gone die.. is normal to have for hours.

 

I know there are many succes stories, but i am at a point where i am losing hope. Never saw anybody that bad after only 4(+ 4 month) month Taper, 20 month out.

[Jakeblack14]

Hey @Jones2000, 

 

Sorry you are going through all the PAWS. (Post anti depressant withdrawal symptoms)

In my own withdrawal journey I have experienced exactly what you are describing. Something I wish someone would have told me earlier that might be helpful to you is to force myself to do the basics. 

 

What I mean is, Eat, drink water, move. 

I know it is SO hard. I can't stress enough how it feels like you have to move the world to do these things. 

From what I have been reading, much of withdrawal is part of inflammation in the brain as it is trying to heal and water is crucial to helping it out. 

When I forced myself to drink water and have just a handful of nuts (less carbs the better) and just walk around the house for 5 min. I would move from being at 10 of withdrawal symptoms to an 8. 

Keep going. Take care of yourself. You're doing great, even though it may not feel like it. 

[DutchMaddy]

PAWS=post acute withdrawal syndrome. Yes it is very hard. We will heal. It’s all waves and windows until our brain is back to homeostasis ( before the pills). Hold on

Take care!🌹

[eileen1111]

Keep going! You’ve come SO far. Hang on to how many improvements you’ve seen. Lots of people say that the 2 year mark is a turning point. You can do this !!

[angela9985]

@Jakeblack14 Hi Jake, hope you are doing well! I am very curious about your inflammation theory, could you point to some references? Thank you so much!

[angela9985]

Jones, hold on there, anyone could give up but not you, because you have seen progress in the last 10 months, and as you asid, you love life. You have your promise to give us a success story, so don't let depression take over you.

[Jakeblack14]

@angela9985
Here are a couple of links that might help with the idea

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5542678/

https://bmcmedicine.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1741-7015-11-200

https://rxisk.org/pssd-withdrawal-small-fiber-neuropathy/

Some talk about that tingling sensation we get in our hands and feet, others point out the idea of inflammation in depression and antidepressant withdrawal.

 

[Altostrata]

@Jones2000 when you first started venlafaxine, what was the effect?

[Jakeblack14]

On 2/19/2023 at 12:30 PM, DutchMaddy said:

PAWS=post acute withdrawal syndrome. Yes it is very hard. We will heal. It’s all waves and windows until our brain is back to homeostasis ( before the pills). Hold on

Take care!🌹

Thank you  Still getting all the acronyms down. 

[angela9985]

@Jakeblack14 I am very interested in this point. I also see someone from r/pssd finding antibody in his cerebrospinal fluid. I don't think Jones thread is a good place to discuss this and I send you a PM. Thank you so much

[Altostrata]

This is @Jones2000's topic. Please take off-topic chat about PSSD to the PSSD topic. Thank you.

 

On 2/20/2023 at 12:31 PM, Altostrata said:

@Jones2000 when you first started venlafaxine, what was the effect?

 

[Jones2000]

@Jakeblack14 Hey thank you for your answer. Yes, I am very active since the beginning of WD because of the akathisia. So i would say i was running trough the world, for a good 16 month, like a tiger was behind me. I had no choice to not be active. That setlled down, luckely and i am able to rest more. 

 

My WD is defenetly change, from feelings that where very very strange and came and go all the time. To a strange "soup" out of symptoms. It takes long, that's all I can say. 

@angela9985 No, I won't give up. Even when it takes 3 years. I will fight until the end.

@Altostrata 8 month I took the pills.

 

 @eileen1111 No, i will fight even when it takes 2 more years!

@DutchMaddy Thank you guys, I will fight like a worrier.

 

Those pills can't beat a professional tennis player! 

 

I will get back to the court. Even when the day's are cruling!

 

[Altostrata]

@Jones2000 please answer this question:

 

On 2/20/2023 at 12:31 PM, Altostrata said:

@Jones2000 when you first started venlafaxine, what was the effect?

 

[Jones2000]

I started it in january 2021. And I had like extrem energy burst's. Could't sit still. And became strange symptoms over the time.

 

[Altostrata]

When someone has immediate adverse reactions to venlafaxine and continues to take it despite adverse effects, it can take a long time to recover. Recovery will be slow and gradual over months.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Please let us know how you’re doing.

[Jones2000]

I am not really a fan of suplements. I try to do just enaugh sport!

 

I had a longer wave than i am used to...

 

But now I feel defenetly better.

 

Idk, but now I am manly suffering anxiety. The neuro emotions and depression is happening less and less often!!! 

 

Is that normal? 

For me the anxiety is much more tolarable, than the deep depression. But it's still "VERY ANOYING" to have anxiety all the time.

 

Jones 

 

[Altostrata]

7 minutes ago, Jones2000 said:

Idk, but now I am manly suffering anxiety. The neuro emotions and depression is happening less and less often!!! 

 

 

Anxiety is a very common feature of post-discontinuation symptoms. See The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

[Jones2000]

Had a very good windows last week! Felt good and was able to watch Netflix and make a nice trip with my dad. 

The only symptom i really had left was anxiety and from time to time some depression. Between the WD fatique.

[Altostrata]

Good to hear! Thanks for checking in.

[Jones2000]

I am doing much better latly. Still not there. But defently better! 

[Jones2000]

20-month update:

Hello guy’s, I am now 20 months out and my symptoms are improving. The mental symptoms are “smoothing” out. So, my feelings and emotions aren’t changing like crazy for the most and it gets definitely easier. I have no ******* Idea how long it will take, until I’m a functional human being again.

But not suffering like crazy every single day is also a very good achievement. I don’t care how long it will take anymore, I just wait until my life don’t tourns anymore around WD and WD is just a small part in the background of my mind.

A half year ago I wouldn’t even be able to write a text because of the “mental akathisia” that made me walk and walk and walk.

It’s just wonderful to sit there and talk with family or make small trips.

I’m definitely NOT healed and still suffering every day. But it’s not pure hell anymore. The days are gliding by faster and I see more and more what’s reality and what’s WD.

And I was never depressed in my life before WD! And after 8 month(even whilst taking it) of the medication I got hit by terrible Depression/ mood swings/ fake-emotions, DR/DP.

And many physical Symptoms. But the mental symptoms where/are the symptoms that brought me to the edge of sanity.

-          having terrible suicidal thoughts…

-          anhedonia (to a point where I sat there and just breathed)

-          emotional pain that is stronger than any physical pain the body can create.   

-          And probably the most terrible combination: akathisia combined with WD fatigue that feels like you can’t even stand up… I don’t recommend that no anyone…

But like I said: I think I am somewhere between WD hell and being normal. So, I know I will heal, it just takes much more time.  

It still hurts a lot. But compared to 6 month I see the light out of this.

Give me some more time, and you can add the “here comes the sun symbol”. And I dreamed about that a LONG time. 3,6,9 month IDK. But it will come in the next 12 month!

Jones

 

 

 

[Jones2000]

And I wasn't able to talk to people for 14 month or longer. Sounds wired, but I felt so depressed (not even the right word). 

 

Like the feeling before you cry and can't open your mouth because the word's won't come out.

 

And the DR is such a strange and bizzare thing. Being in a "parallel world" but beeing there, IDK, it's very hard to discribe.

And i got the DR after only 9 day's of taking the pills. But I had no Idea what the heel was going on. 

 

Those drugs are poisons and i'm pretty sure 95% percent of the people like me don't even know it's the mediaction: 

 

-and the outcome is getting haldol for years and not beeing a human anymore.

- or killing them selfes

 

- and than there are couple of survivours that go trough that hell and come out of the other side. 

 

 

That’s just and idea, but it’s interesting that the amount of school shooters in the US is increasing with the amount of SSRI’s prescription.  

 

psychiatrie is a crime! 

[DutchMaddy]

Good for you! You will get there, and in time you write you’re own successtory which will help many people!🌹🌹

[Altostrata]

@Jones2000 thanks so much for letting the community know how you're doing. This will encourage a lot of people.

[Jones2000]

@DutchMaddy

 @Altostrata

Yes, i am mostly suffering now anxiety, while I was suffering 10 month ago much more Depression, anger. 

Sometimes i am not sure if this an improvment or just a change. 

 

But it feels more normal than the depression i never experienced in my life before...

 

[Jones2000]

Had a very good day today. Probably the best since this bullsh*t stared!

 

[Altostrata]

Great! Thanks for checking in.

[Jones2000]

I guess i will leave this hell in 2023  

Still not good, but okay  

[Jones2000]

But my recovery is very strange. Like I feel good a day or so, than it get's worse anhedionia... until I get a panick attack (or strong anxiety) for 1 -2 hours than it calms down. Get's good and the cycle repeats. 

 

But like 7 month ago I had 10 panik attacks a day...