FerricIon: Desvenlafaxine

[FerricIon]

Hello, I'm FerricIon

 

My story could be triggering as hell for some people, only read if you know you can handle cruelty.

 

Previous History

I was diagnosed with depression and given various antidepressants like fluoxetine, citalopram, venlafaxine, bupropion, but each one was discontinued after one month of starting treatment due to side-effects being too much for me.

The last medication that I got prescribed was desvenlafaxine, and since it didn't destroy me with side-effects, it was the medication I kept taking.

First 2 months was 50mg desvenlafaxine, then 3 months of 100mg desvenlafaxine.

 

After taking desvenlafaxine for those 5 months, I gradually changed into something I'd now describe as a raging sociopath.

I was previously a very socially anxious person, couldn't talk in front of an audience if you paid me a million dollars, felt bad if I noticed I accidentally stepped on an ant (too much empathy, borderline pathological).

In those 5 months I gradually lost any kind of social inhibition, and felt no emotion from anything (be it enjoyment from hobbies, or boredom/frustration from repetitive tasks), nor any kind of empathy.

The positive side of that was that being an university student, I could study for endless hours without feeling bored, and I could present stuff in class without a problem.

The negative aspects were much worse than expected, I started getting something I can only call "emotional cravings" that would only be satisfied by torturing and eventually killing animals.

The only times I felt anything at all were in those moments, and it created a sort of addictive feedback loop that could even make me wake up at 3 AM shaking with the cravings.

 

At the time, I didn't realize that was aberrant behavior, it seemed normal due to my lack of empathy and emotion.

How I got out of that spiral of craziness is that my girlfriend at the time (now wife) noticed my pets going missing, and also noticed I kept buying new ones for them to also go missing shortly after.

She then talked to me and made me realize that something was very wrong, thanks to that conversation I was able to notice that I literally had changed completely, and went cold turkey off 100mg of desvenlafaxine the same day.

(I stopped taking it not due to feeling like I did anything wrong, like I mentioned, no empathy; but because I didn't like the thought of a drug changing my personality)

It caused no noticeable withdrawal effects, and after 6 months I was back to my normal self only with the added guilt of all I did during that time.

 

For months afterwards I dealt with enormous amounts of guilt daily that I now only feel a few days a month.

The guilt stems from reliving those memories but from my usual empathetic point of view.

 

Current Problem

Years later, I had a complete lack of energy, could barely move out of bed (these were the symptoms that got me my first depression diagnosis, there was never an emotional component) and foolishly decided to go to another psychiatrist.

I told them my history, and after looking at me like I was absolutely crazy (I assume they didn't believe my story) decided to prescribe desvenlafaxine to me again, 100 mg.

Foolishly again, I accepted, believing that they knew what they were doing after listening to my story.

 

This time after one year of taking desvenlafaxine it did absolutely nothing, no effect, positive or negative.

I later decided to lower the dose to 50 mg and wait some more time, another year went by without any change.

Now, due to having some gastric problems, I decided to stop taking desvenlafaxine altogether, and it's when hell began.

I tried to stop taking the pill like before, but this time I got awful withdrawal effects after 3 days, brain zaps, dizziness, borderline panic attacks.

This is when I found out about this site and discovered that the concept of tapering was even a thing.

 

Disclaimer about my reaction to the drug.

I don't get withdrawals until at least 48 hours later, where I start getting a sort of brain fog as the first side effect;

if I don't take a dose that day, the symptoms get exponentially worse with each passing day.

 

Battle Plan

There is no 25mg dose of desvenlafaxine in my country.

 

Due to that I'm currently investigating whether to split, crush and weigh the 50mg desvenlafaxine pill, or switch to venlafaxine (specifically Effexor XR) and weigh the beads instead.

This has been difficult to decide due to how terrible venlafaxine was when I took it in the past.

 

Thank you for reading.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @FerricIon

 

On 2/10/2023 at 2:34 PM, FerricIon said:

First 2 months was 50mg desvenlafaxine, then 3 months of 100mg desvenlafaxine.

 

It sounds like these dosages of the drug were stimulating, maybe causing hypomania or mania. These are known adverse drug effects.

 

On 2/10/2023 at 2:34 PM, FerricIon said:

I don't get withdrawals until at least 48 hours later, where I start getting a sort of brain fog as the first side effect;

if I don't take a dose that day, the symptoms get exponentially worse with each passing day.

 

That is a normal pattern of withdrawal from desvenlafaxine. 

 

Here are our Tips for tapering off desvenlafaxine (Pristiq)

 

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

[FerricIon]

Yeah, thank you.

I've honestly read the content in that link a few dozen times by now, but I'm still undecided on the method I'll use.

I'll keep updating here once I start taking proper steps.

 

I still can't believe this crap is legal.

It may be the case that my reaction to the drug was rather rare, but no one told me it was even a possibility to begin with.

At least the second time I started taking it, I made sure to have someone monitor my behavior like a damn hawk.

Thankfully it didn't matter because for one reason or another, desvenlafaxine has no effect anymore, which I find rather fascinatingly puzzling just from a biochemical point of view.

 

Anyway, curse this pill and whoever said it was fine to sell it without even thinking about giving patients a decent vehicle to stop taking it.

I'll make sure to edit the signature later!

[littlebird]

Just popping in to say hello and welcome! Solidarity in the struggle against Pristiq, it's a helluva drug. There are success stories on here, so it's possible to get off.

[FerricIon]

28 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Just popping in to say hello and welcome! Solidarity in the struggle against Pristiq, it's a helluva drug. There are success stories on here, so it's possible to get off.

 

Thank you! I don't think people in general doubt the possibility of getting off the train, but how bad it feels when you do.

Hopefully by logging my experience with it, someone might get something out of it.