Anna04: Going back on antidepressants because of severe mental illness/bipolar?

[Anna04]

Hi all

 

Thanks for membership. I'm sorry, this is a heavy post with suicidal thoughts etc., so please don't read if it's too much!

 

So, when I was 18 I started getting bad symptoms from my nervous system (was not on any medication, so we don't know why), like pain etc., and I was put on Venlafaxine/Effexor. I had some crazy "start up" symptoms for a year before I got used to the drug. Then I had 8 relatively good years on the drug, only thing was some side effects and a bit of emotional blunting. When I stopped Venlafaxine I got very severe akathisia and was in living hell for a few years. 

 

Thing is, now I'm doing better, no akathisia - but I get it again just by taking an antihistamine. But my problem now is, I have started having very severe mental pain and suicidal thoughts every day. My uncle on my mum's side had bipolar and comitted suicide, so I know severe mental illness runs in the family. I'm sure I have something extremely severe, and I have put off contacting my doctor because the drugs they will put me on will probably give me akathisia again, and then I want to kill myself just for another reason. 

 

So my question is, have any of you tried - or known someone who tried - getting on antidepressants again? Stabilizing and then just staying on them for the rest of your/their lives? 

 

And also, medicine for epilepsy is also used for bipolar - is that as toxic to withdraw from as antidepressants? 

 

Kind regards,

Anna

Edited March 3, 2023 by manymoretodays
name to title only

[Carmie]

Hi Anna, 

 

Welcome to SA. This is actually a peer support group for getting off meds. You will have to seek medical advice if you want to go on medications again, we don’t do that here. I’m sorry you had Akathisia when coming off the meds. I’ve had it too, it’s the most horrific thing I’ve ever experienced, and it definitely makes you feel suicidal. I understand how you feel about not wanting to do anything that could cause it again. I’m glad it’s settled. Like you, different things could still set mine off again too, mainly if I taper too quickly. I’m tapering extremely slowly so hopefully I won’t get it again. 
 

Once we have been on and off psych meds a lot our brains become destabilised and they can react to all sorts of things. My brain has become extremely hypersensitive.

 

If you’re feeling suicidal please stay safe and find some help. I’m wondering if what you have and what you are feeling isn’t “mental illness” but maybe still be the effects of coming off the Venlafaxine as you tapered it so quickly. It can still affect you many years down the track. You also changed the doses up and down of the Amitriptyline a number of times, that would have affected your brain too. 
 

Are you still on Amitriptyline? The last entry in your signature says you’re on 10mg. Is that correct? 
 

Sending hugs🤗

[Anna04]

Hi Carmie

 

Thank you so much for your answer ❤️ 

 

Yeah, I'm scared that it could be a bad wave still, after 5 years. But it would be weird as that would be the most severe wave I've gotten in maybe 4 years, almost as bad as in the beginning.

 

Yes, I'm on 10 mg of Amitriptyline and haven't tried any tapering from that in 3 years. I want to be as stable as possible. I did have mental stressors that could have set the wave off maybe?

 

I did take one pill of antihistamine, Allegra, and I do wonder if it made the symptoms worse.

 

Regards, 

Lisette

[Carmie]

You’re welcome Anna, 

 

Yes, you can get waves years out from going off these meds. A lot of people on this site have been in protracted withdrawals for years after being cold turkeyed off meds or by tapering too quickly. Alto, who started this site, had it for about a decade or so. That’s why she started this forum, so that she could help others to taper slower. 
 

Anything can set off a wave too. Everyone is different though, and what causes a wave for one person may not affect another person at all. Mental stressors are definitely a big one for most people. You are very wise not tapering the Amitriptyline before your body settles. 
 

You’re in the right place here if you want to have an interchange of encouragement with others💛

[Anna04]

Oh wow, I didn't know you could have it for so long and still get better!

 

It would make sense with the huge emotional stress I have been under then, the worst since I tapered. 

 

Thank you so much for your support! ❤️ 

[Carmie]

@Anna04.  You’re very welcome, if you want more support from others too just say hi on different threads and interact on here. Some people are more chatty than others😁. You’ll find ones that you can relate you. 
 

Check out the video on YouTube entitled: “ Altostrata: Founder of SurvivingAntidepressants.org “ by Medicating Normal and you will get her story of how she was in protracted withdrawal for a long time. 

Wishing you the best on your road to recovery💛

[Anna04]

Hi again  

I have a friend who is taking amitriptyline and has been for 10 years. She has been feeling fine on them except for being tired. When she up- and downdozes with 25 mg (full dose is 100-150 mg) she gets bad withdrawal reactions but they stabilize after 2 weeks, and she's fine again. Now she's planning to come off because she feels better with her depression, so I was wondering if she can completely avoid withdrawal - and the severe akathisia that I had after tapering Effexor super fast - if she uses the 10 % reducion method? Seems like if she is not having symptoms while on the drug, and if she only gets withdrawal symptoms for 2 weeks and then stabilizes she should also not have many withdrawal symptoms if she tapers very slow? She once came off 10 mg of imipramine and felt fine afterwards.