Sunstone Posted June 18, 2023 Share Posted June 18, 2023 (edited) Hello! where should I start. I started cipralex in 2013/14 due to a lot of anxiety and an overdose of sleeping pills. used it until I got pregnant in 2015. didn't use anything during pregnancy. I started getting a lot of anxiety and ocd at the end of my pregnancy, and after I had the baby it got even worse. I had such severe ocd that I couldn't take care of my child alone. I started taking zoloft in 2016 when my child was 3 months old. it was very nice to let go of all bad thoughts and i lived a very happy life. it worked fine until 2019. suddenly i lost all feelings. had a lot of anger and no patience. still no anxiety or ocd. I was like a zombie, completely flat. not scared, happy, sad or anything. felt no love. didn't care about my job or family. I was on medical leave from work for about a year. I didn't realize it was the meds that were the cause, I thought I had become depressed. I started wellbutrin in 2020/21 but it didn't improve. the same year I switched to trintellix 10mg. it didn't get much better, but has been on them until now (2023). the side effects have gotten much worse in recent years, more anger and less good feelings. I have no motherly feelings, and that is the worst of it. I cant "feel my words" when i say i love you for intance. I can't laugh and not cry. has gone to a private psychologist and has even tried to stop taking other medications for another illness. have googled symptoms of a psychopath. after reading in here and a lot on reddit i have realized how harmful antidepressants can be so i decided to stop. I started tapering in April/May. first from 10mg to 5mg. and then 2.5 and 1.5 mg. I was completely done two weeks ago. it feels much better, I'm not so angry anymore, I have a few days with a little more emotion and I can laugh again. I miss feeling love for my child, but I expect that will eventually come too. but the problem that has suddenly appeared is now anxiety. a lot of anxiety. I can't eat or concentrate. and it's not anxiety about anything in particular, I don't know what I'm anxious about. but I notice I'm generally unstable, so I hope it's just the nervous system that needs to get used to a life without medication. Edited June 18, 2023 by manymoretodays spacing for readability 2014-2015: Escitalopram 2016-2019: Zoloft 200mg 2019-2019: Wellbutrin 150mg 2019-2023(May): Brintellix 10mg Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 19, 2023 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2023 It seems like you're describing withdrawal anxiety/ activation. You should go back on 1.5 and taper slowly after a period of holding up stabilise. Taper by no more than 10% of your current dosage every for weeks. Pls make sure to measure your dosage precisely and take your medicine at the same time every day. This will get better, reinstating that small dose may make it much easier. Omw "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Sunstone Posted June 19, 2023 Author Share Posted June 19, 2023 5 hours ago, Onmyway said: It seems like you're describing withdrawal anxiety/ activation. You should go back on 1.5 and taper slowly after a period of holding up stabilise. Taper by no more than 10% of your current dosage every for weeks. Pls make sure to measure your dosage precisely and take your medicine at the same time every day. This will get better, reinstating that small dose may make it much easier. Omw You think that i need to taper 1,5 mg? Its so small, i cant cut it any smaller than 1,5 mg. I used 1,5 mg for 2 weeks. It gives me pain inside to Even think about swallowing those pills again. Finally i am not so angry, but if i have to take them my whole personality changes again... Thats why i did the fast taper, i couldn't take them a day longer. 2014-2015: Escitalopram 2016-2019: Zoloft 200mg 2019-2019: Wellbutrin 150mg 2019-2023(May): Brintellix 10mg Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 19, 2023 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2023 To prevent worse withdrawal we recommend reinstating a small dose. It's up to you if you want to do that or not. But that's the only 'treatment'. Reinstatement works best within a month of getting to 0. "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 20, 2023 Moderator Share Posted June 20, 2023 The tapering forum has pinned topics on how to get small doses for various drugs. People usually get liquid formulations (if available for that drug), use scales, count beads or dissolve a tablet in water. "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Sunstone Posted August 27, 2023 Author Share Posted August 27, 2023 Hello! Now i have been 3 months without any antidepressants in my body. I have some good days and some bad. Its so weird. Some days are totaly fine, like normal. And then, the next day i can have ocd (sexual intrusive thoughts), and the day after that anxiety and depression. I've had ocd and some anxiety before starting antidepressants. The reason i was starting them in the first place was due to the ocd. Im wondering if this is mental illness returning or if i am still in withdrawal? Its not as severe as before and now i can recongnize my thoughts as ocd and not real thoughts. But of course i am afraid it will be as before. 2014-2015: Escitalopram 2016-2019: Zoloft 200mg 2019-2019: Wellbutrin 150mg 2019-2023(May): Brintellix 10mg Link to comment
Sunstone Posted September 9, 2023 Author Share Posted September 9, 2023 Anyone?😊 2014-2015: Escitalopram 2016-2019: Zoloft 200mg 2019-2019: Wellbutrin 150mg 2019-2023(May): Brintellix 10mg Link to comment
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