Raspberrysugars: Rapid Lexapro Taper...desperate for any insight

[Raspberrysugars]

Hello! I am new here and very grateful that I found this site. I'd like to thank the Admins and Altostrata for creating this site and being advocates for people on this journey. A journey that is so difficult and frankly terrifying to navigate.

Any help, knowledge, or advice on this would be greatly appreciated..i am desperate.

I was on Lexapro for the past 6 years of my life. I had attempted to quit CT on a couple occasions throughout the years and never made it past a month and always went back on my original dose of 5 mg.

After experiencing sexual side effects that I could no longer tolerate, I made the decision to really quit this drug and do it "correctly"(or what I thought at the time was correct).

In January of this year I tapered my dose to 2.5 mg (by splitting pills) for 4 weeks before quitting completely. So February 1st was my last dose of 2.5 mg.

I felt completely fine for the first 1-2 months. Since then, every month has gotten worse.

Now, going on 5 months (approximately 19 weeks) without Lexapro and I am experiencing the worst depression I have ever felt in my life. I feel overwhelmed with sadness, hopelessness, no motivation to live or do simple tasks. I cry or sleep for most of my days. I don't have any desire to leave my apartment. I'm struggling to see a point in living or trying.

I was originally confused about why my withdrawal symptoms were presenting themselves so many weeks after quitting, as my psychiatrist told me that withdrawal symptoms only last the first few weeks. Hah.

I was told by countless people that my symptoms are just my true depression returning that that I am just one of the unlucky people that need to be on SSRIs for life.

I now know this is not the case. 

Here is my question, 

After reading all info on reinstatement and correct tapering, I am still struggling to determine if reinstatement would be best for me NOW, almost 6 months since my last dose of 2.5 mg. 

If i do reinstate at a small dose, i understand it could help alleviate symptoms, however, could reinstating help to stabilize my nervous system? I am trying to determine if the benefits of reinstating are ONLY for comfort OR if reinstatement can help to repair damage caused my incorrect tapering or CT?

Also, in reference to that damage, do we know how long, on average, it takes the brain to repopulate down-regulated serotonin receptors? And what can aid in this process?

Side Note: I have been taking 100 mg 5-HTP per day since quitting Lexapro in hopes that it would restore serotonin balance... I now see that this could also be damaging..do I now have to taper off 5-HTP? Any thoughts on that would be helpful. 

Thank you SO MUCH for any insight, help, or advice. I am so grateful. 

 

 

 

Edited June 21, 2023 by manymoretodays
name to topic title

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Raspberrysugars

 

After your last dose of 2.5mg, did you have any odd symptoms?

 

On 6/20/2023 at 6:24 PM, Raspberrysugars said:

Now, going on 5 months (approximately 19 weeks) without Lexapro and I am experiencing the worst depression I have ever felt in my life. I feel overwhelmed with sadness, hopelessness, no motivation to live or do simple tasks. I cry or sleep for most of my days.

 

When did this feeling start? Is it better or worse at any times of day? How's your sleep?

[Raspberrysugars]

Hi Altostrata, thanks so much for your reply! 

My last dose of 2.5 mg was on Feb. 1st. For the first 4-6 weeks after my last dose I felt perfectly fine. No symptoms except for VERY MINOR brain zaps. My overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, lack of any motivation, sadness, constant crying, and extreme anxiety…etc. all started to gradually increase as the weeks went by after the 6 week mark after my last dose. It was a very gradual increase so it wasn’t noticeable until I would say about the 12 week mark (after last dose). Since then it has just gotten worse until the point I am at now and described (approximately 5 1/2 months/ 22 weeks since last dose). 
 

I would not say it’s better or worse at specific times more so that is comes in waves. It will get unbearable and then subside throughout different points in the day. 
 

My sleep is the worse it’s ever been mainly due to anxiety. I will constantly wake in a startle with my heart pounding and feelings of confusion. That is a very odd symptom that I’ve never had before. However, I still manage to get at least 8 hours every night or so I try. 

[Altostrata]

It's typical of withdrawal syndrome to come in waves.

 

The brain zaps indicate that withdrawal syndrome was brewing.

 

On 7/3/2023 at 7:00 AM, Raspberrysugars said:

My sleep is the worse it’s ever been mainly due to anxiety.

 

When did your sleep get worse. What do you mean by "anxiety'?

 

On 7/3/2023 at 7:00 AM, Raspberrysugars said:

I will constantly wake in a startle with my heart pounding and feelings of confusion.

 

When did this start?

 

Many people find these to be helpful:

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

You might try a low dose of one at a time to see what it does for you.

[Raspberrysugars]

Yes I have been taking both. 
Would you recommend any 5-HTP to help increase serotonin levels or would this do more harm than good? 

[Altostrata]

We have not seen consistently good results from 5-HTP.

 

When did your sleep get worse? What do you mean by "anxiety'?

 

When did waking with a startle start?

[Raspberrysugars]

I apologize for not answering your questions in my last reply! 
Increased anxiety (constant worry, fear, overthinking) , trouble sleeping (due to worry), and frequently waking in the middle of the night in a startle all started around the 2 month mark after my last dose of 2.5mg Lexapro. So this was about 4 months ago. All of these symptoms gradually got worse month by month after the 2 month mark off Lexapro. And again to clarify, I felt perfectly fine for the first 4-8 weeks off Lexapro. These symptoms fist appeared around the 2 month mark and gradually have gotten worse.

 

Of all these symptoms, the waking in the middle of the night is the one that is most bothersome. I will wake up out of a deep sleep gasping for air, confused, and scared for no apparent reason. I do not frequently  dream and this has never before been an issue in my life.