Seraphim: Introduction

[seraphim]

Hi everyone. I'm 22, queer, and graduating college in a few months. I actually discovered this website fairly late (much to my chagrin). Wish I knew about this sooner. Anyway, I knew I wasn't mentally stable since before the pandemic. I had a feeling it was because of my childhood. I thought it was normal but when you compare your childhood with your friends it definitely wasn't normal. I thought being verbally and physically abused by your mother was normal. Until I started feeling the side effects of depression in college. I was irritatable, often felt sad for no reason, and I didn't have the motivation to do anything. I even had a hard time completing my assignments for class. 
 

Then the pandemic came, and it was even harder for me because I was stuck in the same house as my abuser (In asian households we dont move out). I started talking to my college guidance counselor and she really helped. But it wasn't enough, she directed me to a psychiatrist. And in 2020, thats when I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder (I mean, I already had a feeling I just didn't want to diagnose myself). My psychiatrist prescribed me sertraline (50 mg). It was gradually building up to it, so I took half a pill first for every other days then after a few months I took the whole pill. Been taking the whole pill for nearly 3 years. It was only until last year my psych started slowly tapering me off over the months. Taking a pill every other day and then half a pill eventually. 
 

I was doing so well, I never experienced any side effects from the tapering. March 28, 2023 came and my psych said  I'm ready to stop my antidepressants. So I did, and I didnt feel any withdrawal symptoms until after a month. April 23 I started feeling dizzy on some days, it was never consistent. I asked my psych about it but she said it was "impossible" because its "been a month." I didnt believe her. I looked for communities that could help me and I found the r/antidepressant in reddit. They validated my symptoms and pointed out it was delayed withdrawals or a discontinuation syndrome. Over the months until now I started noticing my withdrawal symptoms. It was a russian roulette of feeling dizzy, lethargic, not wanting to socialize, not wanting to eat, not wanting to do anything, wanting to cry for no reason, heart palpitations, or feeling sad for no reason. These symptoms are never consistent it lasts for a few hours then I'm fine again. I just wish it would go away soon, I want to feel normal again. 
 

 

Edited June 21, 2023 by manymoretodays
Forgot to add something, moved name in title

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @seraphim

 

If it is withdrawal syndrome, a low-dose reinstatement of sertraline, perhaps 5mg, probably would alleviate those symptoms. If so, you could stabilize on that for some months and taper by tiny amounts later.

 

A liquid form of Zoloft probably would be the best way to do this, explained here Tips for tapering off sertraline (Zoloft)

What is withdrawal syndrome? 
 
About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms 
 
The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

[seraphim]

Update: Talked to my psych about my symptoms, she says its possible that it's withdrawal because its not consistent. She'll have to closely monitor me for a month and decide if I still need maintenance medication or if I can completely go off it. I mentioned that I didnt want to socialize/interact with people or didnt want to eat a lot and she said she'll have to closely watch how it pans out over the next few weeks. 

[Altostrata]

If you find your withdrawal reaction is getting worse, suggest low-dose reinstatement, then stabilization and tapering later.

 

If you believe you need continuing maintenance treatment, please see your doctor.