LouieR1: What is going on with me? PAWS? Losing my mind

[LouieR1]

I was prescribed 10mg officially for depression in 2019, at the age of 18. It was prescribed for depression but in reality it was more for OCD, I can’t remember exactly but I think I just didn’t want to have to explain my ocd symptoms to my doctor, either way they prescribe the same class of pills for both. Around 2021 maybe earlier, I noticed changes In my vision, my eyes would get blurry when looking at things close up, and they were extremely sensitive to light. It just felt like my eyes always hurt for some reason, as if there was pressure on them and it felt ‘gritty’. This caused lots of problems in itself, I couldn’t do uni work and had to delay uni by 2 years. I was very anxious about everything and it lead me to chronic marijuana use to cope. I went to 3 or 4 eye doctors and even paid for a specialist, an ophthalmologist, who all said my eyes were perfectly fine. I did some research and found people talking about the link between SSRIs and changes in vision. I went cold turkey around November last year could of been December though I can’t fully remember. Anyway, my vision remained unstable for months after but gradually has improved and I can function now. However, I’m left with a different issue which is a constant urge to urinate which seems to have come on a few months after quitting. I constantly need to urinate and it’s driving me crazy. I’ll also wake up sometimes to urinate before going back to sleep. My stream is also a bit weird, sometimes it comes out fine and sometimes I have to strain for just a small amount to come out. My stream is often inconsistent and doesn’t come out as a solid stream but instead is split in two different directions. Also I have noticed when emptying my bowels it stops and starts often, and I don’t get that sense of relief anymore. I’m waiting on blood tests to come back but I doubt they’ll see anything wrong. My hunch is something is off with my nervous system but I’m getting different opinions from people online, some people telling me they doubt it’s to do with coming off SSRIs. I feel very confused and alone because I’m not hearing much about this on this site and other SSRI withdrawal subreddits and forums. 
 

Has anybody experienced anything similar and could this be PAWS?

 

This has really put my life on hold and I’ve ever considered going back on the pills as a last resort if I don’t get any answers. 

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs. I'm glad that your eyes improved, but I'm sorry to hear that you are having these issues with urination and defecation.  Hopefully you are being tested for a possible urinary tract infection.  

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs and supplements you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  Please read the link below for instructions.  

 

How to List Your Drug History in Your Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications.

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

These drugs can cause so many symptoms, and some are more common than others.  Because the nervous system is so intertwined with every system in our body, when we throw off the nervous system by jumping off the drugs abruptly, it can mess with just about anything in our bodies.  It is good you are having the tests done, to make sure nothing else is going on.  If the tests all come back fine, then I would strongly suspect these symptoms are from withdrawal.  It can take many months to years for the symptoms to fully clear up, so patience and time are the keys.  Check out these links to see if anyone else has had similar issues. 

 

Urinary and Bladder Issues

 

Bowel Problems and Constipation

[LouieR1]

I’m wondering whether it might be worth reinstating to help with the bladder issues if they don’t subside. I went cold turkey because it was only 10mg. It was around late November early December I believe, don’t remember for sure as there was a lot of turmoil in my life around then. Is it too late to reinstate?

[getofflex]

You could try a tiny test dose for a reinstatement.  Reinstatement is risky this late after being off the drug 8 to 9 months.  Please read this link carefully about reinstatement: 

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Have you been or are you on any other drugs?  If so, please explain.  If you have been on no other drugs, you could try a test dose of 0.5 mg citalopram.  The easiest way is to get the commercial liquid, and use a syringe to dose it.  Find out from the pharmacist how many mg of citalopram is in one ml of the liquid, and let us know what he says, and we can help you figure out how much to take.  

 

I would not suggest reinstating at a higher dose, because this would put you at risk of kindling.  If you do OK on the test dose of 0.5 mg, then we can gradually and carefully increase the dose.  Give it at least a week, and let us know how it goes.  If you feel significantly worse on the reinstatement, stop it right away. 

 

Kindling

 

Edited July 3, 2023 by getofflex

[LouieR1]

Im just worried that I’ll get sexual dysfunction as well from going back on it. I feel lucky to have avoided that, especially as I’ve interacted with many people around my age on twitter who have developed permanent sexual dysfunction. My symptoms right now are bad, the frequent urination is really messing with me but if I developed PSSD I’d feel suicidal. It just seems weird as the most obvious withdrawal symptom is the bladder issue, im like in this weird limbo where I’m 50% sure it’s a legacy effect of the citalopram but there’s that 50% chance that it’s some other weird rare disease causing it. Is there any stories of people with lasting affects like this who have recovered? 
 

id like to keep citalopram reinstatement as a last resort kind of thing. I don’t like the idea of undoing my progress. 

[getofflex]

16 hours ago, LouieR1 said:

Im just worried that I’ll get sexual dysfunction as well from going back on it. I feel lucky to have avoided that, especially as I’ve interacted with many people around my age on twitter who have developed permanent sexual dysfunction.

It's good that you are aware of the risks of these drugs, and being proactive about it.  Yes we hear that here as well.  

 

16 hours ago, LouieR1 said:

It just seems weird as the most obvious withdrawal symptom is the bladder issue, im like in this weird limbo where I’m 50% sure it’s a legacy effect of the citalopram but there’s that 50% chance that it’s some other weird rare disease causing it. Is there any stories of people with lasting affects like this who have recovered? 

I'm willing to bet that it's from the abrupt cessation of the citalopram, and that eventually this symptom will decrease and go away.  To be frank, it can take months to years for everything to resolve itself.  I'm a year out from a taper of Lexapro, and I still deal with a few lingering symptoms (hot flashes, sleep issues, anxiety) off and on.  

 

The other good thing about avoiding a reinstatement, is that then, you would have to taper off of that in the future.  

 

Try reading some of the success stories on the home page.  It will be very encouraging. 

Edited July 4, 2023 by getofflex

[LouieR1]

Thanks. Other people have mentioned urinary issues, but mine seems to be extreme. And it’s in isolation. I’m not really getting anything else weird going on. The only other thing is like bowel issues as well, like I don’t really have the sensation of emptying my bowels, and instead of it all coming out in one, it’s usually a few times before I’m done. Sorry I know that’s disgusting, just bizarre. 
 

I get that this could very well be issue with coming off antidepressants but the frequent urination is so extreme, I’m distracted constantly. I’m thinking maybe I’ll try to ask for a pill for controlling it. I’m a bit cautious if medication but I’d rather take a pill for overactive bladder rather than antidepressant. It’s just annoying though because I can’t be 100% sure it’s from withdrawal, like it could be some weird Kidney issue or maybe A UTI.

[Doctorsrcrap]

@LouieR1

Have you had your urine tested to check for infection.

I had an urgency to pee all the time and couldn't hold it. Turned out I had e coli 

[LouieR1]

@Doctorsrcrap

 

The only uti test I’ve done was an at home one? Might be worth getting a proper one done. How was yours diagnosed? I’m anxiously awaiting a blood test now. Having to go through the NHS here in the UK, really anxious because it could be a million things and it’s going to take ages to rule everything out. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

@LouieR1

I found out i had e coli from the doctor on the nhs. 

Dropped off a specimen and got the result in a few days. 

Down side. Had to take antibiotics 

[getofflex]

On 7/4/2023 at 2:26 PM, LouieR1 said:

The only uti test I’ve done was an at home one? Might be worth getting a proper one done.

I would definitely get a proper test for UTI if I were you.  Not all antibiotics cause problems with nervous system - I had a UTI in May, and the antibiotics didn't bother me at all - they were cephalexin.  An untreated UTI can cause a kidney infection, and this can be serious.  

[LouieR1]

Just really stuck with whether this is a physical issue or indeed from coming off pills. I’ve heard a lot about pelvic floor dysfunction which has these types of symptoms. However this is extreme amounts of urinating. Genuinely feel very down and suicidal right now. I’m 22 and just want to be healthy and normal 

[LouieR1]

Doing some research and apparently there’s a link between small fiber neuropathy and urinary problems. Could it be that the bladder issues is in fact nerve damage and if so, I can’t see how this is going to resolve on its own. @getofflex, how is it that antidepressants could cause this nerve damage but the damage only presents itself (in terms of the bladder issues) when I come off the medication? 

[getofflex]

51 minutes ago, LouieR1 said:

@getofflex, how is it that antidepressants could cause this nerve damage but the damage only presents itself (in terms of the bladder issues) when I come off the medication? 

I can't answer this question for you.  We are only peer support here, we are not medical professionals.  I wish I had the answer for you.  

 

What we can say, is that coming off the medication causes nervous system destabilization that takes a very long to recover from.  This can cause any variety of different symptoms.  I hope you will get a proper test for a UTI.  If that is what is causing this, it can be quickly fixed with an antibiotic.