felinegaze: Hello, need some hope please

[felinegaze]

Hey,

I'm a cat-loving 50 yr old nurse in the South West UK looking for advice and support please.

I'm here after yet another attempt to wean off Venlafaxine/Effexor ended in disaster. Unbearable agitation and suicidal thinking plus inability to function or manage work has driven me back on to 150mg for now. Starting to stabilise in mental state after two weeks back on, and have somehow managed to drag myself back to work today.

I definitely did from 75mg downwards too quickly. I'm looking for a reduction method that has honestly worked.

I think I need to accept this is going to take several years.

I have been on the drug (and off and on and off and on) for 25 years, mostly at 150mg or 225mg. 

I have had a go at the 'bead method' previously and it drove me nuts. I'm poor at maths.

Would liquid form be better?

Looking for some sort of chart or guidance to follow once I start to reduce again.

Sorry if I'm going over ground that is covered elsewhere.

 

Edited July 7, 2023 by manymoretodays
name to topic title

[Onmyway]

Hi @felinegaze

Welcome to SA. Can you please fill in your drug signature? Instructions are in the email you received when you created your account here.  We can help you better with that information.

[felinegaze]

Hello,

I have had another dreadful day with dread, agitation and panic only just starting to reduce at 5pm.

I went for a long, hilly bike ride, did a gym session, saw some friends, watered allotment.

Nothing helped to stop the constant fight or flight, the churning stomach, pounding heart and feeling so desperate and isolated. I have not known what to do with myself today. 

As you can see in my signature I reinstated Effexor 17 days ago at 75mg and increased to 150mg 10 days ago.

This feels like the worst and most hopeless episode yet.

The usual themes are present- I can manage doing most things, I have even been back at work for 2 days and somehow managed it. I get now sense of achievement or joy from anything, and I am so restless that I find it very difficult to concentrate on a book or film.

I have felt so mentally unwell that I have thought of going to a hospital, even though I know this would not help and would just be an embarrassment.

I am just trying to plan in some activity for the weekend, as it is looking like a long and frightening stretch of time.

Thank you for reading.

[Altostrata]

Hello, @felinegaze

 

5 hours ago, felinegaze said:

As you can see in my signature I reinstated Effexor 17 days ago at 75mg and increased to 150mg 10 days ago.

 

Why did you increase to 150mg? How has your symptom pattern changed since you started 150mg?

 

Please note that given their half-lives, it takes about a week for an antidepressant change to reach steady-state.

[felinegaze]

Hello Altostrata, and thank you for taking the time and energy to read and respond to me.

That is a good question you ask.

I think I have gone up to 150 because that has historically been my 'settled dose' over the years. So this time, in desperation at agitation and poor functioning I increased to this after a week at 75mg. It is impatience on my part, and also desperation to stop the bad feelings.

How have the symptoms changed since going to 150mg? They have got worse in terms of panic. Yesterday was a hideous day. I have slept ok and today I am wobbling on the edge of agitation but haven't fallen into fight or flight. I have my rationality and decision making, whereas yesterday I barely did at all.

What are your thoughts on staying on the 150mg currently? Or, given that my eventual plan is to come off in the fullness of time, would it be a good idea to go to 75mg or 112.5mg?

I appreciate this is not medical advice but I'd be grateful for your ideas.

Many thanks again,

F

[Altostrata]

If you went from 75mg to 150mg about 2 weeks ago and feel worse, I would go back to 75mg.

 

Please let us know how you're doing. 

[felinegaze]

Hello again.

Thank you for the advice.

I'm feeling reasonable again today with agitation levels bearable.

I can also concentrate to read and have managed meditation too.

I'm back in the fight.

From today I am on Effexor 75mg daily.

I forgot to mention that I have been taking Magnesium and a b vitamin complex, vit d, vit c and vit k since January this year.

I'm presuming I'll need to stay at this Effexor dose for six months at least before attempting another taper below 'therapeutic' dose levels?

This time of going into the awful agitated state I wasn't entirely off the drug- I was on 12.5mg. But I had massively rushed reductions from 75mg and, if I'm honest, I could feel things going wrong months ago. I have been having almost like ADHD symptoms, with it being extremely had to keep focus on one thing at a time. Mood was very unstable and irritability through the roof. 

Yet another factor, which I'll edit into my signature, is that I am also going through the menopause. I am not taking any medication for this currently. My trust in medication is understandably broken. I'm having a lot of symptoms such as hot flashes.

Thanks again. I appreciate this more than I can say.

F.

[Addax]

Hi Felinegaze.

Sorry you have found yourself needing support here, but glad you found SA.  I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling so badly.  
 

A moderator will likely come around, but I thought I’d “stop by.”  You mentioned looking for guidance or a chart to use. First and foremost, you’ll want to hold at the dose you settled on for a good, longtime. “Longtime” is relative… basically, until your nervous system has gained some stability, you are felling better/ stable, and your symptoms have subsided. This can sometimes take awhile, so don’t lose hope if it’s not happening as fast you you’’d like or think it should. It’s 100% worth it. 
 

as for guidance and charts, the rule of thumb is reductions of no more than 10% of the last dose every 4-6 weeks, but start with these threads for more detailed guidance: Why taper at 10% and Tapering Effexor.

 

By “going through menopause “ do you mean you’re in perimenopause? I am in perimenopause. It can sometimes be hard for me to know if the way I’m feeling is due to perimenopause symptoms, withdrawal symptoms, or an interaction of the two.  If you still get your period, PMS can also muck things up. If you read other threads, you’ll find many that talk about worsening symptoms during PMS. I have found that to be true, but of course, not everyone experiences that. 
 

Lastly, the moderators and administrators have a great deal of experience and wisdom. Heed their advice. 
 

45 minutes ago, felinegaze said:

I'm back in the fight.

Great!

[felinegaze]

Addax- hello! Thank you for stopping by.

I see that your journey has been even longer than mine. Thank you for sharing it here.

I'm hopeful I can stabilise on the 75mg Effexor for a while. I don't mind if that's a year or longer. I'm done with trying and failing due to my impatience.

I am nearly 50 and I seemed to go into the symptoms of menopause following having the (now much regretted) Covid jabs, which I was strong armed into at work.

Technically it is still perimenopause as I have not stopped menstruating for a whole year at a time yet. The main physical symptom is the hot flashes at night. Because I have been tapering Effexor from 225mg since March 2022, it is hard to know whether my irritability is made worse by that, by the hormones (or lack of), or whether I am just an irritable cow (also true at times!)

I suppose there must be many factors in the mix for every single person going through this journey.

I just bought some Omega 3 and will begin that in addition to the other vitamins.

Many thanks again!

F

[Altostrata]

8 hours ago, felinegaze said:

I'm presuming I'll need to stay at this Effexor dose for six months at least before attempting another taper below 'therapeutic' dose levels?

 

Not necessarily. We need to see that you're stabilized before making another reduction.

[FindRest]

Felinegaze, I’m sorry you are going through all of this. After reading your thread, I just want to make sure you’re still taking Effexor XR and not a generic tablet or capsule filled with a small number of mini-tabs.  Are you on name-brand Effexor? Is the inside of the capsule filled with many tiny beads or just a few mini+tabs?
 

Note that tapering below 37.5 is the most difficult part of the journey. It doesn’t get easier the lower we go. It gets harder. This is why it’s recommended to never taper more than 10% (off your last dose) every 4 weeks.

 

Hang in there as your body begins to stabilize on 75mg. It may be rocky at first, but time and patience will help things get better and better. Please don’t make any dose adjustments before running it by a mod or admin first. It’s so easy to react out of desperation and/or anxiety and change our dosages thinking it might help. 

 

Also, B vitamins can cause increased agitation and anxiety, especially if our cns is destabilized by withdrawal. I had to stop all vitamins when I was in a similar state as you.

 

 

Edited July 11, 2023 by FindRest

[Catina7]

Hello @felinegaze!  Your story reminds me so much of my own.  I too got down to a lower dose of Effexor XR and experienced a horrible crash with severe panic and insomnia.  I up-dosed to 37.5 mg and have been holding here for over a year and a half.  I plan on tapering again the beginning of next year.  Plus, I'm a cat lover too!  My husband and I have six rescue kitties.

 

Maybe we can encourage each other as we try to get off this horrible drug?  I would love that!

 

Catina ❤️

[felinegaze]

7 hours ago, FindRest said:

Felinegaze, I’m sorry you are going through all of this. After reading your thread, I just want to make sure you’re still taking Effexor XR and not a generic tablet or capsule filled with a small number of mini-tabs.  Are you on name-brand Effexor? Is the inside of the capsule filled with many tiny beads or just a few mini+tabs?
 

Note that tapering below 37.5 is the most difficult part of the journey. It doesn’t get easier the lower we go. It gets harder. This is why it’s recommended to never taper more than 10% (off your last dose) every 4 weeks.

 

Hang in there as your body begins to stabilize on 75mg. It may be rocky at first, but time and patience will help things get better and better. Please don’t make any dose adjustments before running it by a mod or admin first. It’s so easy to react out of desperation and/or anxiety and change our dosages thinking it might help. 

 

Also, B vitamins can cause increased agitation and anxiety, especially if our cns is destabilized by withdrawal. I had to stop all vitamins when I was in a similar state as you.

 

 

Hello! Thanks for your reply.

As I keep saying, I'm really touched and encouraged to have such thoughtful and kind replies and advice here.

Currently I am taking brand name Effexor XL at 75mg. Prior to reinstating in June I was taking a generic called Vensir, which is indeed the mini tablets. I got down to two tablets when the agitation I could not ignore began. As I mentioned, it was a terrible row with my mum that was the final tipping point, but that is all sorted and the agitation continues.

Thanks for the reminder and advice about sticking at one dose for now. I do still feel very rocky in mental state, and am having some terrible days where the anxiety does not let up until the late evening. Obviously this affects my wish to eat too. Today is not a good day, despite walking with a friend, making jam, doing lots of allotment work etc. Tomorrow I am at my job, I am hoping I will do ok. I will stick to 75mg.

Ok, that is really interesting about the B vitamins. I will stop them for the time being.

Thanks again,

F

[felinegaze]

4 hours ago, Catina7 said:

Hello @felinegaze!  Your story reminds me so much of my own.  I too got down to a lower dose of Effexor XR and experienced a horrible crash with severe panic and insomnia.  I up-dosed to 37.5 mg and have been holding here for over a year and a half.  I plan on tapering again the beginning of next year.  Plus, I'm a cat lover too!  My husband and I have six rescue kitties.

 

Maybe we can encourage each other as we try to get off this horrible drug?  I would love that!

 

Catina ❤️

Hello Catina!

Thank you for replying here. It sounds like yours is a busy household with all those felines! I have two, but also look after a cat outside our flats whose owner is in jail. They're such a comfort, and it's lovely to see them enjoying life on the allotments, which are adjacent to my flat.

Definitely- feel free to private message me any time.

My Venlafaxine journey has rumbled on since 1998 and I curse the day I began it.

What's hard to remember is how bad my mental state was prior to beginning it. Who knows? I was young, not finding life easy, I was feeling low and lost as far as I remember. I had also had a history of anxiety and panic as a child, particularly around getting to sleep- lots of magical thinking and what turned into OCD rituals from a very young age.

I'd love to know how I would have managed if I had never gone down a medication route (wouldn't we all!). I think life would have been tough but that I would have strengthened with age and managed things.  One of my deepest fears is that I somehow AM 'wired differently', deficient in some way, will not ever function without meds, that I am wasting more of my life by not just accepting I 'need to be on 225mg for life', never mind that I don't feel emotions properly and can't orgasm properly either.

I've internalised an awful lot of 'medical model' advice from psychs and GPs over the years. I know I am the only one that can find this out for myself, and that it will take time, time of feeling pretty crappy as well.

So yes, feeling quite lost and tired at the moment. Not enjoying much at all and finding the constant feeling of anxiety and dread very draining.

Nevertheless I am managing to do things, see people, work etc.

Onwards and upwards.

F

x

[Catina7]

1 hour ago, felinegaze said:

I curse the day I began it.

 

I do too.  It was the worst decision of my life.  I feel your pain!

[felinegaze]

Just a daily update. 

Woke up at 6am after poor sleep, waking every hour.

Feeling dread and agitation, but manageable at this stage.

Went to work and managed the day. Guess what I do? Yes, I'm a psych nurse, working in a community team..feels like such an irony at the moment.

I say I 'managed' the day. What is missing is any self confidence, any joy, any genuine humour, any real faith in my decisions. It is very hard work.

I got out of work at half three and agitation was building horribly.

I was feeling desperate and like I was being punished or tortured for being a bad person in some way. Wanted to cry and shout for help but also know that nobody can help and that it would just cause alarm. Fight or flight state is a tunnel-visioned state where I cannot see a way ahead, cannot envision a future except more hell.

I managed to get out on my bike and out to quietish lanes. I was able to sob and even shout, also ride fast and up some hills. 

2 hours later I am out of fight or flight and back home, more able to think and also to eat something.

Not sure how many days like this I can tolerate, to be honest, it's so hard.

[Catina7]

Hello there!  Even though you're having a hard time, be proud of the fact that you did your best to get through your work day.  You are also going through hormonal changes with going through menopause.  That time right before menopause is no joke!  I know you want to be done with this drug as quickly as possible, but just take your time and don't rush your taper.  You've been on Effexor for a very long time and that's what your brain has been used to.  Keep using non-drug coping skills things like your biking that will help you through the rough times.  Hug yourself and realize that you're doing your best.  

[felinegaze]

Aww, thank you!

All of that is true. I do feel pleased that the bike ride 'worked' to get me out of the fight or flight.

I also have a genuinely scary situation here at home with a disruptive neighbour that is causing issues and bullying/trying to intimidate me because I have been forced to make a complaint about all the noise and dog mess. He banged on my door and tried to intimidate earlier- honestly, the last thing I need! But silly of him because I have asked for the complaint to be escalated. All very unpleasant at the moment. I really worry about my cats and hope they are not at risk from him.

Many thanks again. How are you doing today?

F

x

[Catina7]

I'm sorry you're having to deal with an extra stressor on top of everything else you're dealing with!  I hope things can get resolved soon with your neighbor.

 

I'm doing okay, thank you for asking!  My husband and I are hoping to walk this evening when it cools down a bit.  We walk up and down our street, which is two miles from start to finish.  Exercise is really one of the best things we can do for ourselves!

 

I hope you have a better day tomorrow...

 

Catina 

[Cheeky]

Hi @felinegaze, 

welcome to our community. Just  wanted to come past and give you support . This is a very difficult road we’re on and we need support from each other .  Keeping busy to

distract ourselves is the best way of surviving this . When I’m feeling really anxious and agitated, I go for a walk or do some type of exercise . Being at your job could be a good thing , it makes the day goes by . You’re going to get better days and hard days , keep going . I’m sorry your you’ve found yourself here but your also lucky because the moderators know more about these drugs then any doctor. 
 

Cheeky🌸

[felinegaze]

5 hours ago, Cheeky said:

Hi @felinegaze, 

welcome to our community. Just  wanted to come past and give you support . This is a very difficult road we’re on and we need support from each other .  Keeping busy to

distract ourselves is the best way of surviving this . When I’m feeling really anxious and agitated, I go for a walk or do some type of exercise . Being at your job could be a good thing , it makes the day goes by . You’re going to get better days and hard days , keep going . I’m sorry your you’ve found yourself here but your also lucky because the moderators know more about these drugs then any doctor. 
 

Cheeky🌸

Thanks Cheeky!

Oddly it's been a better day today without any fight or flight so far.

I'm hugely grateful to get a break! 

I've been at work and managed a good job and some humour with colleagues etc.

Sleep is quite rubbish, particularly the first part of the night. My thoughts are just running too fast to settle. I don't mind as long as I'm not also feeling the fear.

My last caffeine today was 1pm.

The neighbour situation is a great source of stress. I feel like moving out and I worry he might do something to my cats (although this is me thinking the worst case scenario, so I'm really trying not to go there). At the same time I do not want to have to move right now. This is a good area for me and the cats.

Fingers crossed that this reprieve from agitation continues. Even if it doesn't, I know that it can happen!

F x

[QueenElisabeth]

@felinegaze

my dear, I welcome you here as well. Thanks for finding my journey. 
 

From your signature I could see you have been making some jumps around. 

Holding at 75mg seems the wise step for now. I hope you stabilize on it. It can take some time though

How are your symptoms at the moment? 
 

Wish you well!! 
gr. X

[Altostrata]

21 hours ago, felinegaze said:

My last caffeine today was 1pm.

 

You may wish to gradually reduce your daily caffeine intake, this can cause sleep problems.

[felinegaze]

Not feeling the best, it's got to be said.

I'm realising that menopause symptoms are likely to be a massive part of this. I'm sweating up so much, mainly at night.

My sleep is horrendous. I'm waking up every single hour, often more than once. Took Diazepam for the first time in a week last night to help sleep- yes, it helped a bit but then I'm hungover all day, so it's not a solution unless I'm really desperate. 

Perhaps I am going to have to consider HRT, although I am terrified of bloating etc that any sort of contraceptive pill has always given me.

I'm still anxious with poor concentration, but slightly less agitated than I was.

I am having less caffeine. Sticking to 3 teas in the mornings. Will attempt to reduce further over time. I've always been a complete fiend for tea, so only 3 teas is good!

F

[Addax]

On 7/11/2023 at 1:12 PM, felinegaze said:

One of my deepest fears is that I somehow AM 'wired differently', deficient in some way, will not ever function without meds,

This is a fear so many people here have… or that the meds or withdrawing has caused irreparable harm. I’ve had them as well, especially since I started the med so young.  So far, my experience has indicated that while I have been on Fluoxetine for 35 years, and a couple horrific withdrawal experiences, no permanent damage is evident. And if there are permanent effects, they aren’t anything I can identify. Also, Research hasn’t shown permanent damage caused by these meds, nor is there evidence that withdrawal itself causes any kind of permanent damage.  It just feels like something has broken because sometimes the symptoms and how badly we feel can make it hard to see or even believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 
 

Sleep difficulties can be caused by both perimenopause and withdrawal.  Sensitivity to light and or sound can interfere further. I use a sleep mask. It keeps any light from hitting my eyelids, especially morning light- which has a tendency to cause me waking anxiety/panic.  It helps a great deal.  I started HRT a few years ago, prior to this current taper and with no withdrawal symptoms going on. I found it to be helpful and the symptoms I took it to treat have not returned during withdrawal. I’m still taking it and plan to for as long as I can. That’s just my experience. Other people may have different experiences with taking HRT during withdrawal. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

[felinegaze]

Thanks Addax.

I've been weighing up pros and cons of HRT this week and have decided against it at the moment.

I really, really don't want to gain weight etc, and most friends who are on it definitely have done.

I've got a bit of a sleep hack going with a sheet and a cooling pillow- sleep has been better the last couple of nights.

 

[felinegaze]

I'm feeling so very low now.

Not anything like so agitated, just low and pointless, feel really worthless and flat.

Nothing feels worth doing. I feel burned out and crap at work, can't think of anything new to try to help feel better because I've done it all.

Been back on 75mg Venlafaxine since 20th June. 

Not sure what to do. Every single other time I've come off and failed I have only felt ok again by going back to at least 150mg.

Then again, there's a chance things will pick up in time, I guess.

It's just- it's now been over  5 weeks of feeling utterly grim in one way or another and I am running out of energy and hope.

Sorry to be miserable.

F

[Catina7]

1 hour ago, felinegaze said:

sleep has been better the last couple of nights

 

That's good to hear.  I'm glad you found something that helps you.  We need all the help we can get sometimes!

 

It looks like from your signature that between June 20th and July 9th you have made various dosage changes.  I am not an expert, but maybe you just need to allow yourself enough time to stabilize at the 75 mg dose.  It can unfortunately take longer than we would like.

 

It's okay to "vent" here, we understand.  I hope things level out for you soon.  Sending hugs ❤️.

 

 

[Altostrata]

3 hours ago, felinegaze said:

I have only felt ok again by going back to at least 150mg.

 

In what ways do you not feel okay taking 75mg?

[felinegaze]

7 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

In what ways do you not feel okay taking 75mg?

Hello,

My mood is very low. I am getting scared by the hopeless thoughts I'm having now. I've been through this so many times previously. Already the whole summer has been taken by being mentally poorly. I feel I've got nowhere I can go with this stuff apart from occasional posts here. It's so long term over the years with me that my family don't even ask me if I'm coping. Even though I was well for 2 years on the first stages of this reduction from 225mg. I don't feel strong, I'm exhausted with the poor sleep and constantly either agitated or very low, or both for nearly 6 weeks.

Also, OCD and ritualistic thinking (which I've pretty much always had) has worsened. My thinking feels like a robot mind, in a way that's really hard to describe.

What I can't bear is the endlessness. I need an end to feeling like this.

Previously I have gone up to the full dose again and eventually I have stabilised- usually in a couple of months I have been fully functional again.

This time I am not feeling any better. I am seriously wondering about putting the dose up in order to stabilise.

Many thanks,

F

[Cheeky]

Hi @felinegaze,

I know too well how much you want to feel good again and stop this misery situation, it’s torturous and we all shouldn’t have to feel Like that . You do what’s best for you and we will support you 100% . 

Sending Hugs 🫂 

[felinegaze]

4 hours ago, Cheeky said:

Hi @felinegaze,

I know too well how much you want to feel good again and stop this misery situation, it’s torturous and we all shouldn’t have to feel Like that . You do what’s best for you and we will support you 100% . 

Sending Hugs 🫂 

Thanks so much Cheeky. That's exactly what I need to hear today.

I've gone up to 150mg today because of the higher dose seeming to be needed to get stable previously.

It feels like my mind is trying to kill me at the moment, and I need to do what I can to stay safe and alive.

I've just got to accept that this reduction attempt has spectacularly failed and that I need to get properly stable and then eventually think about tapering more sensibly in future.

Hoping things are ok with you?

F

[Halsyon]

Hi @felinegaze, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've been there in terms of not wanting to admit my tapering wasn't going to plan, and having to up the dose again and remain on it for a while. It did indeed feel like my brain was "trying to kill me" as well, and I think of it that way still sometimes, although recently I've felt like that is a really negative interpretation and isn't true. Our brains' main function is to keep us alive, which is the opposite of trying to kill us. We have to care for it, and when troublesome substances are introduced and throw it out of whack, it's not our brains' "fault" for reacting that way. It may sound silly, but I have come to be.... kinder toward my brain and how I think of it. It can only operate in certain ways, it isn't out to harm me. 

 

Not sure if any of that helps or sounds like a load of crap, haha. But it has helped me. Sending good thoughts

[felinegaze]

2 hours ago, Halsyon said:

Hi @felinegaze, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've been there in terms of not wanting to admit my tapering wasn't going to plan, and having to up the dose again and remain on it for a while. It did indeed feel like my brain was "trying to kill me" as well, and I think of it that way still sometimes, although recently I've felt like that is a really negative interpretation and isn't true. Our brains' main function is to keep us alive, which is the opposite of trying to kill us. We have to care for it, and when troublesome substances are introduced and throw it out of whack, it's not our brains' "fault" for reacting that way. It may sound silly, but I have come to be.... kinder toward my brain and how I think of it. It can only operate in certain ways, it isn't out to harm me. 

 

Not sure if any of that helps or sounds like a load of crap, haha. But it has helped me. Sending good thoughts

Hey, thank you! Doesn't sound crap at all. I know it's not really my brain in its true state. Also that the negative thinking can be out of control sometimes at the moment.  Luckily I do have resources of inner strength that have so far seen me through these desperate periods.  

You're right though, it would be good if I practice being kinder to my brain, and to myself generally. That's such a tough one when in this space.

Thanks for reaching out

F 

x

[Altostrata]

With your history of failed attempts to go off, we would never have suggested an initial reduction of 50% of your dosage.

 

Strongly recommend you stop setting yourself up for failure and then blaming yourself for failure, as well as the rest of your self-harming habits of mind.

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Please allow time to stabilize on 150mg and consider a gradual bead-counting taper. See Tips for tapering off venlafaxine (Effexor)

[Cheeky]

Hey lovely, 

Don’t be so hard on yourself, we’ve all done the same . I’ve crashed so many times trying to go fast , unfortunately there isn’t a quicker way to get off these drugs then to go slow . 
I think going up to 150mg is a good choice for you . Once you get stable then you can start this journal again . Give your brain at least 6 months to a year to recover from this. 
You do not have to do this alone we’re  with you . 
Stay strong 💪