IMustBeStrong: 6 years Lexapro, Cold Turkey Withdrawal, and Updates

July 27, 2023

Greetings,

A brief history about me, I am currently 26.5 YO:

- Early 2018 - 10mg of Lexapro for GAD and Depression

- Early-Mid 2019 - 5mg

- Early 2021 - Start to take 5mg every second day in hope to taper (Very dumb yes)

- March 2023 - Cold Turkey

Life was good on 5mg Lexapro, I felt strong, I felt fine, and everything was good. I got overconfident and decided to quit CT which I am currently regretting very much.

From March to June I experienced all kind of symptoms, mainly sleep issue, feeling dazed, unfocused and a Lot of vivid dreams. Mentally I felt fine then.

June starts to get used to the symptoms and starting to feel a little bit better.

Late June I start to develop right side Tinnitus which caused me all kind anxiety and stress, and my brother was also happened to be severely sick in the same time frame.

25th of July starting to get used to the Tinnitus but starting to experience some mental problems like:

- Feeling of strong regrets, missing those bygone days, missing the life I have had before all of this.

- Very emotional, and cry quite easily (Thankfully my mom is still with me).

- Mentally easily disturbed, negative thoughts tend to be sticky (Meditation is helping with this).

- Moderate to high Anxiety about the fact that I CT this without tapering (After I discovered this forum ~2-3 days ago).

- Having a bit of sleep issue again, mainly waking up during the night and in-between sleep (Feel like I was half awake).

The reason for my extremely late response to all of this is because during the early days of my symptoms I have asked multiple GPs (at least 4), and every single one of them has told me Lexapro withdrawal should only last about 3-5 days because that is when the drug finally leave one's system. They all thought that it was something else, one even prescribed me with Mirtazapine (which I didn't take, thankfully).

One did refer me to a psychiatrist but the appointment was 4 months away (2nd August).

I have only found this forum around 2 days ago and I am wondering is it worth to reinstate now or is it too late and I should wait it out?

My biggest concern for reinstatement would be the potential of worsening Tinnitus and I am traveling overseas for 11 days soon (4th - 15th August).

I sincerely hope I did not mess up my life after due to this CT.

Thank you kindly!!

Edited July 31, 2023 by manymoretodays
Title changed(mmt), NewAccidentially hit submit while still editing the post.

July 28, 2023

Welcome, @IMustBeStrong

5 hours ago, IMustBeStrong said:

From March to June I experienced all kind of symptoms, mainly sleep issue, feeling dazed, unfocused and a Lot of vivid dreams. Mentally I felt fine then.

June starts to get used to the symptoms and starting to feel a little bit better.

It appears you had withdrawal symptoms from March to June 2023, then started to feel better. This is the pattern of natural recovery from withdrawal syndrome, and it was a good sign you saw improvement so soon in the process.

The acute phase is a period of waves and windows of symptoms, in the post-acute or protracted phase, the symptoms are not quite so choppy or severe. Recovery continues at a very gradual, frustrating pace.

However, in this phase, your nervous system is still fragile from the neurological upset. It sounds like you might be experiencing what we call neuro-emotions.

What is withdrawal syndrome?

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

Neuro-emotions

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

Deep emotional pain and crying spells, spontaneous weeping

The tinnitus might be a withdrawal symptom, but it might be from something else. Did you get covid or another kind of bug? Taken antibiotics or other drugs, drunk alcohol?

Early in withdrawal, did you have sound sensitivity?

5 hours ago, IMustBeStrong said:

- Having a bit of sleep issue again, mainly waking up during the night and in-between sleep (Feel like I was half awake).

Please explain how your sleep pattern changed from after you quit escitalopram in March to the present.

July 28, 2023

Greetings @IMustBeStrong

We are in the same "neck of the woods". Welcome to the community.

6 hours ago, IMustBeStrong said:

I have only found this forum around 2 days ago

What a blessing you have found this site. Especially before your appointment next week with the psychiatrist. I'd be spending many hours here reading various posts and success stories of others on Lexapro. Based on my past experience with Lexapro and the Australian psychiatrist approach, they'll likely give you a prescription for something else, and that may not be the best outcome. You've only got to reflect on the 4 GPs telling you WD lasts 3-5 days to know that perhaps you might be better off seeking advice elsewhere, like listening to the moderators on this site.

6 hours ago, IMustBeStrong said:

on 5mg Lexapro, I felt strong, I felt fine, and everything was good. I got overconfident and decided to quit CT which I am currently regretting very much.

Yep, I still recall feeling bulletproof on Lexapro, going CT, and regretting it later. All the symptoms you list sound like typical WD.

6 hours ago, IMustBeStrong said:

My biggest concern for reinstatement would be the potential of worsening Tinnitus

When I reinstated Lexapro years ago, I immediately developed tinnitus. As a result, I switched to my current AD. I still have tinnitus, but it is not as bad as it was (originally, it was like a swarm of Cicada's in the middle of summer!)

Take your time to read over the links Alto gave you before your Dr appointment next week, and sing out with questions.

How's your alcohol, caffeine and chocolate consumption? Many of us find those things unhelpful.

6 hours ago, IMustBeStrong said:

I sincerely hope I did not mess up my life after due to this CT

We all have this fear, but you will recover. Be patient.

Take care.

July 28, 2023

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

The tinnitus might be a withdrawal symptom, but it might be from something else. Did you get covid or another kind of bug? Taken antibiotics or other drugs, drunk alcohol?

Early in withdrawal, did you have sound sensitivity?

No not really. I have checked with 2 ENTs and they have all said it could be allergy related. If that is the case it would have been strange because I have never had this kind of issues before.

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Please explain how your sleep pattern changed from after you quit escitalopram in March to the present.

From March until May, almost every night was filled with vivid dreams. I always woke up as if I hadn't slept at all. Most of the time, I was unfocused and dazed due to the lack of sleep.

June came, and it got a little bit better, but I still woke up dazed and unfocused, but slightly better (or I just got used to it). At the end of June, I started developing tinnitus out of nowhere, and that caused A LOT of stress, and my brother happened to be severely sick as well.

By the end of July, I am somewhat used to it, and I hope it does not get worse.

Sleep during this time was on and off due to how stressed I was over it.

Around the 20th of July, my sleep got better (still vivid dreams, but not as intense, and I forgot most of them after waking up), and I felt 70% normal during the day.

However, after discovering this forum and reading about how wrong and bad my CT was, I started to feel stressed again.

The sleep has become quite light, and I tend to wake up a couple times a night.

July 28, 2023

I must be honest here: prior to discovering this forum, I was relatively chill mentally; most of the time, I was only worried about my ear.

I am not sure whether I should keep reading the forum or not.

That said, lately I have been feeling a bit more anxious, and I feel like my mental health has become a bit more volatile, so I have to be careful. I have also been quite emotional, and easy to cry.

Half of the time, I feel like I could handle this, and there is no need to reinstate. The other half of the time, I am quite worried about the protracted withdrawal syndromes that might happen later on, and if I don't reinstate now, it might be too late (or maybe it already is, but let's hope not). I have read about instances of people quitting CT and getting WD symptoms for awhile or developing worse symptoms after 6 months.

So my rationale is that I should get back and wean off properly this time around, and I pray that I will recover better.

On the other hand, I have already been through so much, and I finally feel somewhat better. All those efforts and suffering would have been for naught if I went back to the drug now.

TLDR:

Essentially, My biggest concerns now would be:

- I took the 5mg of Lexapro every other day since 2021 (That was so dumb man).

- I have gone CT for 5 months (also so dumb).

- What are the chances of me reinstating and do it properly this time or has the brain become too unstable for it now?

If it is possible Would I experience all of these symptoms again once I started tapering?

- Is it worth waiting this out and risk protracted WD after 6 months or a year or even more?

Please advise!

Also Thank you kindly Altostrata for your hardwork!!!

July 28, 2023

5 hours ago, Emonda said:

Based on my past experience with Lexapro and the Australian psychiatrist approach, they'll likely give you a prescription for something else, and that may not be the best outcome. You've only got to reflect on the 4 GPs telling you WD lasts 3-5 days to know that perhaps you might be better off seeking advice elsewhere, like listening to the moderators on this site.

Yea... that is what I am afraid of as well. The doctors not fully understanding the effects of the drugs they give to people. How careless of them!!! But alas rage, and regret will not solve my situation now.

5 hours ago, Emonda said:

How's your alcohol, caffeine and chocolate consumption? Many of us find those things unhelpful.

Yes I have found that out as well and I rarely consume them and if I do, only in small amount.

July 29, 2023

@IMustBeStrong withdrawal symptoms tend to very gradually go away, so you might reassure yourself about this and be patient.

Everybody makes mistakes, try not to be harsh with yourself for this.

15 hours ago, IMustBeStrong said:

Around the 20th of July, my sleep got better (still vivid dreams, but not as intense, and I forgot most of them after waking up), and I felt 70% normal during the day.

Sleep is important for recovery. Please stop worrying and work on strengthening your sleep. See

What is the sleep cycle?

Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing the morning cortisol spike

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

White noise devices for sleep

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime

Light boxes/light therapy for depression and sleep disorders

July 30, 2023

On 7/28/2023 at 10:07 PM, IMustBeStrong said:

I am not sure whether I should keep reading the forum or not

I, too, wondered if it was helpful or otherwise 18 months ago when I first found this site. I quickly concluded that it was better to be forewarned / well-informed by those that have gone through this, especially given our mutual experience with GPs telling us WD only last 3-5 days.

I continue to be so encouraged when I read some of the success stories...people on ADs for 30 years describe precisely what I have felt, but I could never put it into words. They've succeeded and given me confidence that I can too. For example, as Alto said above, withdrawal symptoms tend to very gradually go away, so you might reassure yourself about this and be patient.

It is a very supportive bunch of people here that may be able to encourage you on your journey.

Wishing you well.

July 30, 2023

Hi all,

Just an update.

Last night I didn't sleep too well, keep waking up, and going back to sleep.

The 'what ifs', and concern about protracted WDs weighted heavily on my mind these days.

I think I will reinstate at 0.5 - 1mg, increase it to 2.5mg, and taper it off gradually this time. The risk of protracted WD is too daunting and scary for me.

I am meeting with both Psychologist, and Psychiatrist in 2 days, hopefully they know what they are doing (Doubt).

I greatly regret the time I spent CT, for that time could have been spent tapering properly. I still cannot believe 5GPs have told me that my symptoms cannot be Lexapro related, and one even prescribed me another antidepressant (That was so dangerous and reckless!).

It has been 5 months CT, and I sincerely pray that the reinstatement is the right choice, and I will have no adverse reaction.

July 31, 2023

What is your sleep pattern?

2 hours ago, IMustBeStrong said:

I think I will reinstate at 0.5 - 1mg, increase it to 2.5mg, and taper it off gradually this time.

Suggest you start with 0.5mg and see what happens. More is not necessarily better. You might substitute 0.5mg citalopram, Lexapro's milder sibling.

You will not be able to drink at all for quite a while, or it will set back your recovery.

July 31, 2023

Greetings,

The last thread title was a bad one so I am remaking it.

A brief history:

I am currently 26.5 YO:
~6 years on Lexapro
Early 2018 - 10mg of Lexapro for GAD and Depression
Early-Mid 2019 - 5mg
April 20th - April 27th CT 5mg and quickly got back due to WDs
Early 2021 - Start to take 5mg every second day in hope to taper (Very dumb yes)
March 2023 - Now (July 31st) Cold Turkey
Discovered Forum July 27th 2023: Finally releasing that Lexapro was the cause of all of my symptoms after 5GPs telling me it was not.

Life was good on 5mg Lexapro, I felt strong, I felt fine, and everything was good. I got overconfident and decided to quit CT which I am currently regretting it very much.

March to June Symptoms:

From March to June I experienced all kind of symptoms, mainly sleep issue, feeling dazed, unfocused and a Lot of vivid dreams. Mentally I felt fine then.

From March until May, almost every night was filled with vivid dreams. I always woke up as if I hadn't slept at all. Most of the time, I was unfocused and dazed due to the lack of sleep.

June came, and it got a little bit better, but I still woke up dazed and unfocused, but slightly better (or I just got used to it).

Late June I start to develop right side Tinnitus which caused me all kind anxiety and stress. I have checked with 2 ENTs and they have all said it could be allergy related. If that is the case it would have been strange because I have never had this kind of issues before. I suspect it is part of the withdrawals.

By the end of July, I am somewhat used to it, and I hope it does not get worse.

Around the 20th of July, my sleep got better (still vivid dreams, but not as intense, and I forgot most of them after waking up), and I felt 70% normal during the day.

However, after discovering this forum and reading about how wrong and bad my CT was, I started to feel stressed again.
The sleep has become quite light, and I tend to wake up a couple times a night.

25th of July starting to get used to the Tinnitus but starting to experience some mental problems like:

- Feeling of strong regrets, missing those bygone days, missing the life I have had before all of this.

- Very emotional, and cry quite easily (Thankfully my mom is still with me).

- Mentally easily disturbed, negative thoughts tend to be sticky (Meditation is helping with this).

- Moderate to high Anxiety about the fact that I CT this without tapering (After I discovered this forum ~3-5 days ago).

- Having a bit of sleep issue again, mainly waking up during the night and in-between sleep (Feel like I was half awake).

Sleep pattern as of 31st July 2023:

Sleepy and go to bed at around 11-12
Sometimes able to sleep right away
Sometimes lay in bed up to 1:30AM
Sleep for a bit then wake up 2-3 hours later
Takes 1 hour to fall back to sleep
Wake up around 7-8AM not able to go back to sleep

Why the late response to these symptoms?

The reason for my extremely late response to all of this is because during the early days of my symptoms I have asked multiple GPs (~5), and every single one of them has told me Lexapro withdrawal should only last about 3-5 days because that is when the drug finally leave one's system. They all thought that it was something else, one even prescribed me with Mirtazapine (which I didn't take, thankfully).

One did refer me to a psychiatrist but the appointment was 4 months away (2nd August).

Current Dilemma and thoughts (29th July 2023):

Half of the time, I feel like I could handle this, and there is no need to reinstate. The other half of the time, I am quite worried about the protracted withdrawal syndromes that might happen later on, and if I don't reinstate now, it might be too late (or maybe it already is, but let's hope not). I have read about instances of people quitting CT and getting WD symptoms for awhile or developing worse symptoms after 6 months.

That said, lately I have been feeling a bit more anxious, and I feel like my mental health has become a bit more volatile, so I have to be careful. I have also been quite emotional, and easy to cry.

Potential worsening Tinnitus after reinstatement is the biggest concern right now. I have read that Lexapro/Citalopram (escitalopram) contains ototoxic which can cause/worsen tinnitus.

Thinking about reinstatement (31st July 2023):

Last night I didn't sleep too well, keep waking up, and going back to sleep.

The 'what ifs', and concern about protracted WDs weighted heavily on my mind these days.

The anxiety makes coping with the current tinnitus harder as well.

I think I will reinstate at 0.5 - 1mg, increase it to 2.5mg, and taper it off gradually this time. The risk of protracted WD is too daunting and scary for me.

I am meeting with both Psychologist, and Psychiatrist in 2 days, hopefully they know what they are doing (Doubt).

I greatly regret the time I spent CT, for that time could have been spent tapering properly. I still cannot believe 5GPs have told me that my symptoms cannot be Lexapro related, and one even prescribed me another antidepressant (That was so dangerous and reckless!).

It has been 5 months CT, and I sincerely pray that the reinstatement is the right choice, and I will have no adverse reaction.

Please Advise,

Thank you kindly!!

July 31, 2023

Hi,

Thank you for the reply.

9 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

What is your sleep pattern?

Sleep pattern as of 31st July 2023:

Sleepy and go to bed at around 11-12
Sometimes able to sleep right away
Sometimes lay in bed up to 1:30AM
Sleep for a bit then wake up 2-3 hours later
Takes 1 hour to fall back to sleep
Wake up around 7-8AM not able to go back to sleep

10 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Suggest you start with 0.5mg and see what happens. More is not necessarily better. You might substitute 0.5mg citalopram, Lexapro's milder sibling.

My biggest concern would be it might worsen my current tinnitus due to ototoxic.

Not drinking is quite ok with me.

Thank you kindly!

July 31, 2023

Getting about 5 hours of sleep is not bad for withdrawal syndrome.

July 31, 2023

Hi IMustBeStrong, and welcome. I just merged your new Introduction post back here. Just one Intro topic per member is the rule. It's okay....you are new. You'll see it above. Just reply in this topic for now. I changed the title to what you requested. Love, peace, healing, and growth. manymoretodays(mmt)

Edited July 31, 2023 by manymoretodays

August 1, 2023

General Update 1/8/2023

Start to notice I have issue with DP/DR and it is worrying me.

Sleep has been choppy.

Bed at 11
Sleep at 130
Wake up at 430
Sleep at 5
Final waking up at 6

I am meeting up with a Psychiatrist tomorrow. I think I will have to reinstate using liquid lexapro to get a smaller dose.

I just hope and pray that nothing bad will happen.

There is a strong feeling of regrets and missing the old days where everything was fine. However, that is a very unhealthy thing to do and I must stop, for regret adds nothing. I need to focus on the now and how to fix my problem.

Half of me wonder if it is worth riding this out or not since it has already been 5 months. The other half is all about reinstating, stabilising and do it properly (If possible).

To all the Lexapro users reading this, how long did your Withdrawal symptoms last and if you reinstated how was your reinstatement and did you manage to get off?

August 1, 2023

Your sleep is not great but not terrible for withdrawal syndrome. With time, it probably gradually will get better.

As it's possible more drugs will worsen your tinnitus, suggest you focus on non-drug methods to improve your sleep:

On 7/28/2023 at 8:31 PM, Altostrata said:

Sleep is important for recovery. Please stop worrying and work on strengthening your sleep. See

What is the sleep cycle?

Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing the morning cortisol spike

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

White noise devices for sleep

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime

Light boxes/light therapy for depression and sleep disorders

August 1, 2023

I have problem with escitalpram too. I am still thinking like it was before VI 2022 when started AD. Now life has changed, but such thinking is unhelpful. My problem are with stomach. now. Reinstalled 0,5mg 7 days ago, Sleep is as it was before, some slleping, awake, sleep, colorful dreems, write to me messages if you like. How is Your stomach?

August 2, 2023

8 hours ago, modelarz71 said:

How is Your stomach?

Hi Modelarz71,

My stomach is fine. Physically I am still quite healthy.

Please be extremely careful with jumping around with dosage! Please ask your psychiatrist before (NOT GP OR PSYCHOGLOGIST) increasing/decreasing dosage.

August 2, 2023

Update 2/8

Psychiatrist told me to not get back on the drug and wait this one out.

I have also met with a psychologist and it was so eye opening how much things I’ve swept under the rug all these years.

The more I talked to more the tears flowed. All my life I have had no one to share this with and I have been holding it all in for so long.

I hope and pray all will be well.

Thank you all for the supports!

August 2, 2023

Thanks for the update @IMustBeStrong. I was going to follow you up, but you beat me to it.

That's good that the Psychiatrist didn't throw a new prescription at you.

The psychologist's appointment sounds positive. I was dismissive of psychology for years....until recently. I, too, found it beneficial and wish I tried it earlier. I had previously swallowed the 'chemical imbalance' theory and figured psychology would therefore be a waste of time, effort and money. That was a mistake. I hope you can keep that up. It's good that the cost can be party discounted with the referral of your GP.

Keep fighting. One foot in front of the other, repeat.

August 3, 2023

On 8/1/2023 at 6:36 PM, IMustBeStrong said:

Please ask your psychiatrist before (NOT GP OR PSYCHOGLOGIST) increasing/decreasing dosage.

What has your psychiatrist told you about tapering and withdrawal?

August 25, 2023

How are you doing @IMustBeStrong?

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IMustBeStrong: 6 years Lexapro, Cold Turkey Withdrawal, and Updates

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