fortheantihero coping one month off sertraline after taking it for five years.

[fortheantihero]

hi everyone. i’m an 18 y/o (they/them) from england, and i’m currently off my antidepressants.

 

i first took antidepressants when i was 12, that being fluoxetine. that winter, i was extremely suicidal and my mental state was only getting worse — so, i went off shortly after. soon after, i was placed on sertraline (aka zoloft), which i’ve been taking 100mg of for the past 5+ years with very few breaks.

 

when i first was offered sertraline, the leaflet said that people usually took it for 1-2 years, or even 6 months. i have tried to come off 3 times, this being my 3rd. each and every time, i quickly developed terrible withdrawal symptoms. they would look like me breaking down out of nowhere, having spontaneous crying fits and my regular depressed feelings turning from just dullness to almost feeling violent. so, i was put back on pretty quickly every time i’d try to come off.

 

this time, i want to come off them for good. there are a few reasons, but i think you’ll understand. i don’t like the way i’ve become reliant on them, when all they do is numb my emotions. they don’t make me happy, they just make the depressed feelings less “violent”. i’ve been prescribed medication and given therapy all these years, and no one has properly addressed my trauma inflicted by my toxic family, just writing my feelings off as “just” depression and anxiety “disorder”.

 

right now, my withdrawal symptoms look like:

• crying at anything and everything, over very little things
• becoming very angry very quickly, unable to keep my temper
• sleeping at 2am and waking up at 1pm almost every day
• wanting to isolate myself to hide these emotions / reactions
• (nothing physical as far as i can tell, thankfully)

 

i’m hoping here, i can find support and advice for treating my emotional distress without necessarily taking medication. i’ve started taking 5-htp, which i hope will help. while i’m not in therapy at the moment, i should be by ~october at the soonest (either privately or through uni). i’m also trying to improve my lifestyle in general (sleep, diet, exercise, etc) and keep my distance from my parents. it’s nice to meet you, this is exactly the kind of space that i need at the moment.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @fortheantihero

 

When was your last dose of sertraline? You describe recognizable withdrawal symptoms in a common pattern. 

 

What effect do you feel from the 5-HTP?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[fortheantihero]

2 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Welcome, @fortheantihero

 

When was your last dose of sertraline? You describe recognizable withdrawal symptoms in a common pattern. 

 

What effect do you feel from the 5-HTP?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

it was 12th july, iirc. so just over a month ago. i slowly reduced my dose from 75mg —> 0mg over 3 weeks.

honestly? i think i didn’t choose a very reputable seller.. i got nauseous so i stopped taking the 5-htp.

 

i’m hoping to call to try to access therapy today, wish me luck. and yep, i’ve added my history in my signature.

(thing is, i can’t remember every time that i went off sertraline? i might just put “gone off 3 times” instead.)

[Altostrata]

How has your symptom pattern changed since July 12, excluding the 5-HTP experiment?

[fortheantihero]

On 8/19/2023 at 2:02 AM, Altostrata said:

How has your symptom pattern changed since July 12, excluding the 5-HTP experiment?

 

pretty much as i described in the first post. i think i’ve calmed down slightly, but i’m still very irritable over things. i was at a restaurant my family chose to go to, and there was nothing i liked on the menu, and i genuinely went to the bathroom and cried. again, small things.

 

i’ve noticed recently that my appetite has vanished. i’m not sure if i even have a drive to eat anymore. as a child, i was always skinny. i became very hungry on anti-depressants and became a little chubby. nowadays, my family have outright said that i “eat nothing”.

 

but i can’t say this is because i’m not on my meds. there are also other reasons why i might not be hungry — i seem to have some kind of digestive issue (maybe an intolerance?) and also i just got back from holiday, where there was much less food i could eat than usual.

 

[Altostrata]

6 hours ago, fortheantihero said:

i think i’ve calmed down slightly, but i’m still very irritable over things.

 

How have you calmed down slightly? What is your sleep pattern?

 

Emotional anesthesia after taking psychiatric drugs is very common. See 

 

 

Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness, emotional anesthesia 

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

"Is it always going to be like this?"