letthisbeover23: Drowning...

[letthisbeover23]

Hi, I'm new here. I don't know where to start...I feel so hopeless and desperate. I've been on and off lexapro for 5 plus years after being diagnosed with panic disorder.

 

Recently have come to realize that I've never given myself the chance to push through withdrawal because my GP had always assumed it was relapse. As I result she would put me back on meds, lexapro. So it's been this sort of cycle for sometime.

 

I typically don't experience withdrawal, "relapse", symptoms till months later, 3 months or so. This time I wanna push through, but I am struggling hard. Recently divorced with two children, so the timing isn't great but when is it really?

 

I'm here for support. I'm falling apart. I have a lot of anxiety, depression, and panic. Heart palpitations, trouble breathing, dizziness, can't sleep past 4 am, and I've lost a lot of weight. 

 

Dr. Gave me a prescription for lexapro again, 10 MG, and believes I should get back on it and try tapering later at a "better time". I fear doing this because chances are, I'm going to be back where I started, again and again. 

 

But I feel like I'm drowning...trying to cope and manage my symptoms while living a new life a single working mom. I feel like I'm constantly failing. Please help 🙏 

Edited August 26, 2023 by manymoretodays
name to topic title

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs. I'm very sorry you are going through these difficulties, especially with your life circumstances.  It must be very hard.  I just want to start by reassuring you that there is a way out of this without having to resort to going back on a full dose of the Lexapro.  We can help you with techniques on how to manage and cope with the anxiety and depression.  The symptoms you describe are typical symptoms of withdrawal from SSRI drugs.  Rest assured that eventually, your nervous system will sort itself out, and these symptoms will go away slowly and gradually.  

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs and supplements you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  We only need drug names, dosages, and dates, as best you can remember, especially for your recent taper.  Please include info for each time you made a reduction.  Please read the link below for instructions.  

 

How to List Your Drug History in Your Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications.

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

When we see more information about your drugs, especially dates, we may be able to give you more specific suggestions.  Please know you are not alone in this.  Many of us have been through this, and have or are coming out on the other side.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  

Edited August 26, 2023 by getofflex

[letthisbeover23]

Hello, and thank you for your response. I want to be as forthcoming as possible. I've been struggling with panic disorder since my teens, though I didn't know what it was at the time. It became more apparent when I was pregnant with my first child and was diagnosed with anxiety. I was put on zoloft, 25mg. I took it for about a year after my my son was born. This was back in 2008.

 

The rest is kind of fuzzy. I'm gonna try my best to give dates as accurately as possible. I believe my first experience with lexapro, 10mg, was when I had a miscarriage in 2012. I don't recall staying on it for too long or struggling with any withdrawal symptoms. 

 

It's been over the past 7 years that I've been trying to get off Lexapro. I started taking it again when I was pregnant with my second child back in 2016. 

 

My first attempt to stop lexapro was in 2019. I went cold turkey. It was needless to say a bad idea. I had suicidal ideation and I was put back on it quickly. This time 20mg.

 

The second time was in December 2020. Tapered slowly, probably in too short of a time, but thought I had succeeded. I was doing well till about three months after. Symptoms of panic, anxiety, ocd and agoraphobia surfaced. They were intense, extreme, and at the time I was convinced it was my condition worsening. Or as my doctor would say, relapse. I saw a psychiatrist to help me manage my medication. I was put back on Lexapro 20mg and xanax .25mg, as needed, in March 2021.

 

Which brings me to my recent attempt. I tapered slowly and stopped in May 2023. Three months later, here I am. I've seen my doctor and she agreed, after some convincing, that this could be withdrawal rather than relapse  She gave me the whole if this were diabetes speech and wrote me a prescription to keep handy. 

 

I'm off lexapro but take xanax as needed, maybe twice a week. My symptoms are debilitating. Doing meditation, breathing, mindfulness. I started taking melatonin and magnesium but haven't seen much improvement yet. 

 

Read about windows and waves. It's been mostly waves...no windows yet. This time around, I'm more aware of the potential that this is the medicine leaving my body and my brain needing to readjust. So I'm not as consumed by the thought of, it's me. I really want to push through but at times I consider maybe taking the Lexapro again, 5mg, and tapering over a longer period of time?? I worry for my kids. I'm working hard to keep it together.

 

Here's a summary of my meds. 

 

Zoloft 25mg, 2006 - 2008

Lexapro 10mg, 2012 - 2013?

Lexapro 10mg, 2016 - 2019

Lexapro 20mg, 2019 - 2020

Lexapro 20mg/10mg, 2021 - 2023

Xanax .25mg *as needed, 2021 - present

 

[getofflex]

If you wanted to, you could try a 0.25 mg reinstatement of your Lexapro to help lessen your symptoms.  I would suggest you get the commercial liquid Lexapro.  When I was still tapering, the commercial liquid Lexapro in the USA contained 1 mg of Lexapro for every 1 ml of the liquid.  You want to check with your pharmacist to see how many mg of the drug are in 1 ml (milliliter) of the liquid.  Be sure you take exactly 0.5 mg each and every day at the same time.  Give it at least a week or two.  It takes about a week for it to fully get into your system and register with your brain.  Once you stabilize on the reinstatement, you would eventually taper off this very slowly and carefully.  There is some risk to a reinstatement.  Please read this link carefully, and let us know whether or not you decide to reinstate.  If you do reinstate, do it sooner rather than later, as the longer you go, the less likely it is to work.  If you feel significantly worse after the reinstatement, stop it right away.  If the reinstatement helps but only a little, after a couple of weeks we can slowly and carefully increase the dose.

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

Edited August 27, 2023 by getofflex

[letthisbeover23]

Do I need to get a prescription for liquid lexapro from my doctor? I have a prescription for pill form 10 mg. I filled it but haven't used it. And did you mean .25mg or .5mg? Could I can cut the 10 mg pill in half. Thanks again 🙏

[getofflex]

1) I meant 0.25, not 0.5 mg.  

 

2) you can make your own liquid from your tablets, or you could ask your doctor for a liquid prescription.  Personally, the commercial liquid would be the easiest and least error prone.  Please read this link for more info and detailed explanations of how to make liquids.  

 

Tips for Dosing and Tapering Lexapro/Escitalopram

 

 

Keep in mind, this is 0.25 mg, not 2.5 mg.  This is not a half or quarter of a tablet, it is a tiny fraction of a tablet.  That is why I suggest the liquid - it is easy to measure non standard and tiny doses with a syringe.  

 

Edited August 28, 2023 by getofflex

[letthisbeover23]

I'm feeling desperate. Bad night. I don't trust myself to make my own liquid version. What is commercial liquid? Is that something the doctor would need to prescribe? What if my insurance doesn't cover it. I'm on medicaid. I had a panic attack on Saturday. I think I should get back on 5mg...I'd like guidance on how taper. I see it took you years...I did mine in months. Probably why I'm here.

[Catina7]

Hello @letthisbeover23,

 

Yes, I believe that's what she meant by "commercial liquid" - something prescribed by your doctor.  You can always check with your insurance to see if they would cover it.

 

I'm sorry you had a bad night, but hang in there.  We're all here for you to support you and help you through this rough time.

 

Catina ❤️

[letthisbeover23]

Thank you. I sent a message to my doctor about getting the liquid form. I gotta be right for my kids...I'm falling apart. I look and feel sick, and pretending is exhausting. I fear I'm gonna be on these meds for the rest of my life. I tried. I did. Diet, meditation, breathing, mindfulness, etc. Haven't had decent sleep in two weeks and I'm down to 99 pounds. I'm gonna take the 5mg right now. Take it from there. I gotta do this for them. It's not fair to them.

[Catina7]

We hear you @letthisbeover23.  I would l suggest re-reading what was mentioned to you about reinstatement, just to have the guidelines fresh in your mind.  Please continue to let us know how you're doing as we all care about you and want you to feel your best! 

 

P.S.  Remember...it's OK to NOT be OK....and that's OKAY!  Show yourself some compassion and treat yourself with gentleness and great care today...and always!  

 

Warmly,

Catina ❤️

 

14 hours ago, getofflex said:

If you wanted to, you could try a 0.25 mg reinstatement of your Lexapro to help lessen your symptoms.  I would suggest you get the commercial liquid Lexapro.  When I was still tapering, the commercial liquid Lexapro in the USA contained 1 mg of Lexapro for every 1 ml of the liquid.  You want to check with your pharmacist to see how many mg of the drug are in 1 ml (milliliter) of the liquid.  Be sure you take exactly 0.5 mg each and every day at the same time.  Give it at least a week or two.  It takes about a week for it to fully get into your system and register with your brain.  Once you stabilize on the reinstatement, you would eventually taper off this very slowly and carefully.  There is some risk to a reinstatement.  Please read this link carefully, and let us know whether or not you decide to reinstate.  If you do reinstate, do it sooner rather than later, as the longer you go, the less likely it is to work.  If you feel significantly worse after the reinstatement, stop it right away.  If the reinstatement helps but only a little, after a couple of weeks we can slowly and carefully increase the dose.

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Edited August 28, 2023 by Catina7

[getofflex]

3 hours ago, letthisbeover23 said:

What is commercial liquid? Is that something the doctor would need to prescribe?

It is just Lexapro in a liquid form manufactured by a drug company.  Your doctor prescribes it, and you get it from a pharmacy. 

 

3 hours ago, letthisbeover23 said:

I think I should get back on 5mg.

We don't recommend that.  The reason is, it puts you at risk for kindling, which would make you much worse.  Did you read the first post of the reinstatement link I gave you above? Please, I implore you to read the first post of this thoroughly and carefully before reinstating. If you kindle, it could take a very long time to recover from it.  The thing to do, is start out at a very small dose, and gradually titrate upward, as I described in my previous post.  Lexapro is an extremely powerful drug, and even a tiny amount has a big effect on your nervous system. 

 

What I'm hearing in your posts is panic, and a desperate urge to try and find a fix to your withdrawal right away.  This is only natural, and most of us have been where you are.  Unfortunately, any decisions made in this mode are likely to be wrong ones, and make your situation worse.  It's unfortunate, but the only way out of this is extreme patience, and time.  

 

Here is the link on kindling.  

 

Hypersensitivity and Kindling

 

 

Edited August 28, 2023 by getofflex

[letthisbeover23]

I took it. What should I do next? Wait for my doctor to send the liquid prescription? And go down to .25mg? I took 5mg of pill form. You're right. I'm desperate. Worried about losing my job. My kids.

[getofflex]

1 hour ago, letthisbeover23 said:

I took it. What should I do next? Wait for my doctor to send the liquid prescription? And go down to .25mg?

If it were me, I would stop the 5 mg reinstatement right away.  Wait to get the liquid Lexapro, and then start on a 0.25 mg reinstatement.  

 

Right now, please try to use some of the techniques to calm yourself down and reduce and cope with your anxiety.  I know this is really really hard!  I've been through it myself, and so have most people here.  I totally understand your concern about losing your job and kids.  But, I believe there is a chance a reinstatement can help you significantly.  The trick is, we have to do this with forethought and patience, not impulsively and in a desperate way.   Working on non drug techniques to reduce your anxiety is something you can do right now, and I can help, a lot!  the adrenaline and cortisol that anxiety produces will tend to make your withdrawal symptoms worse, and create a spiral. 

 

Here are some, and they are simple and easy to learn.  

 

video: Claire Weekes on Anxiety and Panic

 

Emotional Spirals

 

Acknowledge Accept Float

 

Music to Calm Anxiety

 

Breathing Technique for Anxiety

 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

15 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Female voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Male voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

Meditation

 

 

1 hour ago, letthisbeover23 said:

I'm desperate. Worried about losing my job. My kids.

Is there any way you can get help with your kids?  It is hard enough being a single parent. The father of these kids, can he help out?  Do you have family members or friends that can help?  I don't mean to get personal, just trying to help.  

Edited August 28, 2023 by getofflex

[getofflex]

Here is a wonderful post, and I really hope you will read it.  It could help you to feel significantly calmer about this situation, and better. 

 

Techniques for Managing Withdrawal

[letthisbeover23]

Thank you for your support. I'm having a hard time getting my doctor to call me back. I fear they may not be able to fill the prescription today. If that's the case, can I cut the 5mg in half? And take that dose tomorrow. Going forward if insurance does not approve the liquid form, is it really as simple as mixing the 5mg with 5ml water? Did I understand that correctly? I'm having trouble focusing. Thanks. 

[Catina7]

31 minutes ago, letthisbeover23 said:

can I cut the 5mg in half?

 

No.  Remember, it's not 2.5 mg but 0.25 mg, that's why @getofflex suggested the liquid since it's easier to measure tiny doses with a syringe.  

 

Don't panic, we'll all help you get through this, okay?  Everything is going to be alright.  I deal with anxiety too!

Edited August 28, 2023 by Catina7

[getofflex]

21 minutes ago, letthisbeover23 said:

I fear they may not be able to fill the prescription today. If that's the case, can I cut the 5mg in half?

Instead of doing that, I would suggest making your own homemade liquid for now, and just go to the 0.25 mg reinstatement right away.  The more we vary the dose of our drug, the riskier that is, and it can further upset an already destabilized nervous system.  It's not hard to make your own liquid.  What I would do, is I would take several Lexapro tablets, and some distilled water.  Crush them very well into a fine powder.  Then, just gently mix this with your distilled water.  Since 5 ml is a tiny amount of water, (about a teaspoon), I would do this: 

 

50 ml of distilled water 

5 tablets of Lexapro @ 10 mg each 

 

Crush these tablets finely.  Mix them with the water in a clean container.  Store it in a bottle in the refrigerator.  Gently mix the liquid right before you measure your dose, as it is sparingly soluble in water, to get the Lexapro particles evenly dispersed in the water.  Use a small 1 ml syringe to measure your dose.  You would fill this syringe 1/4 full, to get your 0.25 mg.  Please carefully read the small lines on the syringe.  Ask your pharmacist if you can have or buy an amber medicine bottle and a small syringe.  They should have 1 ml syringes that diabetics use for insulin.  This link will contain further instructions:  

 

 How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

 

As per the link, you can also make it with salt, but I think you will be OK just making it with water, but if you want to use salt, go to the bottom on this link: 

 

Tips for Dosing and Tapering Lexapro/Escitalopram

 

[letthisbeover23]

So it's way less. Ok. I took the 5mg already. So don't take it again? And @getofflex mentioned, the sooner I reinstate the better the outcome. I need a better explanation on how to make my own liquid form. I'm terrified of screwing that up and doing more damage.

 

Dissolve a pill, mine are 10mg, in how much water? And take how many ml daily for how long? Is it 0.25 ml? Thank you so much. 

[getofflex]

1 minute ago, letthisbeover23 said:

Ok. I took the 5mg already. So don't take it again?

No, don't.  I was writing a post just as you posted, that will answer your questions.  Please see above.  

[getofflex]

1 minute ago, letthisbeover23 said:

And take how many ml daily for how long? Is it 0.25 ml?

Only take 0.25 ml of the liquid, if you make the liquid as I described above.  Use a 1 ml syringe, and fill it 1/4 full.  Take it every day at the same time of day for at leas week.  It takes that long for it to get into your system.  We will take it from there.  If you make a liquid where 1 ml contains 1 mg Lexapro, it will be easy, because 0.25 ml of the liquid contains 0.25 mg of Lexapro.  This is what you will take. 

[letthisbeover23]

Got it. So mix 50 ml distilled wafer with 5 10 mg crushed lexapro pills. 

 

Take dose using 1 ml syringe, measure to 0.25

 

Starting tomorrow. 

[letthisbeover23]

I thank you so much. You have no idea how much this support means to me right now. On second thought, you probably do 🙏

[letthisbeover23]

Insurance won't approve liquid form. I must mix it myself. I'll start with 50 ml water mixed with the 5 10mg crushed pills. How should I store this and should I worry about it going bad? If that makes any sense. 

[getofflex]

Store it in the fridge with a cap on it.  It will be good for about 5 days.  After that, throw it out and make a new batch. 

[getofflex]

I hope you are finding the tips on anxiety helpful.  If nothing else click on the audio and video links and just listen to those over and over.  This one is especially good, and it's short. 

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Female voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

You will make it through this.  Many thousands of people have been through what you are going through now, and they have made it, and have healed from withdrawal.  Try reading some of the success stories.  

 

Success Stories

Edited August 28, 2023 by getofflex

[letthisbeover23]

Thank you. How many pills should I crush for a 5 day supply? Of 0.25 ml once daily. Sorry having trouble doing the math...

[Happy2Heal]

11 hours ago, letthisbeover23 said:

I'm feeling desperate. Bad night. I don't trust myself to make my own liquid version. What is commercial liquid? Is that something the doctor would need to prescribe? What if my insurance doesn't cover it. I'm on medicaid. I had a panic attack on Saturday. I think I should get back on 5mg...I'd like guidance on how taper. I see it took you years...I did mine in months. Probably why I'm here.

 

 

hI I am so sorry you are going thru this. 
I took Lexapro too and it is a very hard drug to get off of, very strong!

 

when you said you did your taper in months, do you recall how many months it was?

 

and when you got to zero, how long was it before you felt really bad? was it 3 mos?

 

I have gone on and off lexapro many times myself. More times than you did, plus  I was on very high doses too (as much as 40 mgs)

 

I finally got  off it and am doing great now. 

 

I am on medicaid too  but in NH, but still, if you ask in the right way, there's a chance you can get the liquid even if they have to do a special request

This is what I did- you can do whatever you're comfortable with, but I told the drs that I had been on and off this drug many times as well as many many other psych drugs and was terrified that I had kindled.

They should know that term. If they don't, well, you can maybe print something off to show them

I told them that maybe I was being silly wanting to be so careful but that I was very scared that with the lack of sleep and other symptoms of withdrawal that I had, that I might become suicidal. I stressed that I did NOT want to die, but that the withdrawal was brutal

I told them that I had gone back on at a higher dose and it just made things worse. I explained that I had made a solution with crushed pills and had found a dose that was working for me (it was a very small dose) and while they did roll their eyes, what could they say?

were they going to call me a liar? were they going to insist that I do something that I felt jeopardized my very life?

they'd really look like assholes if they did

 

everything I told them was true, but I had to be careful how I worded it.

 

you can do this with a liquid made from the pills but it does taste kind of disgusting. but if you have to do it this way, it will be ok. 

I'd still try to get them to Rx the liquid, you have to be pushy sometimes. Or even try a different dr. if that's possible.

I didn't get the liquid til I went to the MH clinic for mostly medicaid pts. They were  a bit more accommodating there. PCPs were not as kind.

 

I think if you have only been off lexapro fully for 3 mos now, you will likely do very well with a reinstatement,

 

starting at a VERY low dose is the safest way to go,

 

but from MY experience only and also because you have kids and far more stress than I did when I went off this drug, I think there's a good chance you'll do  better settling out at a dose closer to 2.5mgs. Don't just jump to 2.5 mgs though!! this may be too much for you! I'm just saying it might be where you end up for the most symptom relief. Or not, everyone is different

 

That said, From all of the threads I've read here of folks who got off this same drug, going below 2.5mgs is where most ppl have the hardest time and have to go very slow. So anything under 2.5 puts you in the same category, you are going to need to go very very slowly. it's ok, you'll have far less symptoms going slow!! 

 

now if you've been off lexapro for a lot longer than 3 mos, your brain may have adjusted quickly enough that a higher dose would be too much

This is why you are being urged to not go back to a higher dose

 

You start very very very low and wait about a week to see how you do

 

you can always very slowly titrate up, but overshooting the right dose and then having to go back down, that is not good, ok? you''ll be yo-yo'ing your poor brain 

and it doesn't like that lol

 

if you don't see a significant change in your symptoms, you may wish to go up a bit more, again very small amounts

 

You have to weigh how much discomfort you can handle balanced with all your real life responsibilities Only you are going to know what you can handle

 

 

Lexapro is so strong that  your body/brain doesn't seem to even know that you've stopped taking it for 3 mos but then that's when the sh* t hits the fan and you get slammed with acute withdrawal 🤪

 

 

 

You can turn this around and you are going to be ok

 

You can go back up to a dose that makes the symptoms more manageable and then stay there for as long as you need to, to get stable and taper off very slowly from there, when you are ready and strong enough to get thru it

 

 

you are going to be ok ❤️ 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 28, 2023 by Happy2Heal

[letthisbeover23]

Hi, and thank you for your response. Another sleepless night. Did I mention I'm a preschool teacher? I'm exhausted. 

 

I'm also perimenopausal. I've struggled with hormonal imbalances for most of my adulthood. In fact, every time I've been pregnant I was medicated. There's a strong connection between that and my mental health. 

 

I don't trust myself to make my own liquid version right now. Since medicaid denied my prescription, I'm going to ask my doctor to make a special request like you mentioned. 

 

I don't recall how long it took me to taper down but I was off the meds by Easter. Severe symptoms started about a month ago, mid July.

 

I'm considering just taking the 5mg,  going forward and try tapering when I'm in a better spot. I've never had any issues starting the pills back again. 

 

Took one yesterday morning, no side effects.

 

I've tried all the things. I need sleep. I gotta be whole for my kids.

 

I feel like a prisoner to these pills and wish I never had to take them again. 

 

Maybe I'm doomed till my youngest goes off to college. So another 12 years. Because I can't seem to think of a better spot at the moment. 

[getofflex]

17 hours ago, getofflex said:

Instead of doing that, I would suggest making your own homemade liquid for now, and just go to the 0.25 mg reinstatement right away.  The more we vary the dose of our drug, the riskier that is, and it can further upset an already destabilized nervous system.  It's not hard to make your own liquid.  What I would do, is I would take several Lexapro tablets, and some distilled water.  Crush them very well into a fine powder.  Then, just gently mix this with your distilled water.  Since 5 ml is a tiny amount of water, (about a teaspoon), I would do this: 

 

50 ml of distilled water 

5 tablets of Lexapro @ 10 mg each 

 

Crush these tablets finely.  Mix them with the water in a clean container.  Store it in a bottle in the refrigerator.  Gently mix the liquid right before you measure your dose, as it is sparingly soluble in water, to get the Lexapro particles evenly dispersed in the water.  Use a small 1 ml syringe to measure your dose.  You would fill this syringe 1/4 full, to get your 0.25 mg.  Please carefully read the small lines on the syringe.  Ask your pharmacist if you can have or buy an amber medicine bottle and a small syringe.  They should have 1 ml syringes that diabetics use for insulin.  This link will contain further instructions:  

 

 How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

 

As per the link, you can also make it with salt, but I think you will be OK just making it with water, but if you want to use salt, go to the bottom on this link: 

 

Tips for Dosing and Tapering Lexapro/Escitalopram

 

The above, as I posted previously. 

 

You will end up wasting some, but to only make a 5 day supply would be very difficult, as it would be such a small amount.  If you really wanted to do that, you would have to somehow figure out how to cut 1.25 mg off a 10 mg pill, which wouldn't work.  

 

Lexapro is a really strong drug, and you may find some relief from WD (withdrawal) symptoms at a very low dose.  Like Happy 2 Heal said, we start at a really low dose, and slowly and carefully titrate up. 

Edited August 29, 2023 by getofflex

[getofflex]

43 minutes ago, letthisbeover23 said:

I don't trust myself to make my own liquid version right now. Since medicaid denied my prescription, I'm going to ask my doctor to make a special request like you mentioned. 

Yes, it would be ideal if you could convince a doctor to prescribe a commercial liquid.  Here is a link on how to talk to doctors about withdrawal, and there are some resources you can print and take in for the doc to read. 

 

How to Talk to a Doctor About Tapering and Withdrawal

[letthisbeover23]

Should I just keep pushing through? 

[getofflex]

I don't know what you mean by "pushing through".  Please be specific. 

[letthisbeover23]

Stay off the medicine. It feels like I'm going in circles. I don't trust myself to make my own solution. I fear I'm gonna mess up and make things worse. 

[getofflex]

It is totally your decision to make.  I cannot make it for you.  Personally, if it were me, I would reinstate.  I made very simple and easy to follow instructions.  If you follow those, it should be OK.   Please go back and re read the past several posts.  I've pretty much given you all the advice and support I can for now.   I'll follow your thread to see how you do, and help you as you go through your reinstatement, should you decide on that. 

 

 

Techniques for Managing Withdrawal

 

 

Edited August 29, 2023 by getofflex

[Catina7]

@letthisbeover23 You can do this!   Just follow the steps that were outlined to you.  Maybe you're overthinking it.  Start at the beginning and just take it step by step.  If you keep doubting yourself then you won't accomplish anything.  Maybe you can write down the steps on a piece of paper.  Just take things one at a time.  

[Happy2Heal]

1 hour ago, letthisbeover23 said:

Should I just keep pushing through? 

 

this would depend on how quickly you tapered off, it's concerning that you don't seem to recall when you started your taper.

 per your signature it looks like you went down from 20 mgs to 10 mgs in May of 2023, that's a steep drop. To safely get off a dose that high literally takes years, and it seems unlikely that is what you did, or you wouldn't be here

 

 

 

after a similar rapid taper as you did, I was able to go back to 2.5mgs and managed for many months by splitting a 10mg pill into quarters. I was able to sleep quite well and just had a few symptoms that may have been left over from the rapid taper that didn't really bother me much.

 

 

everyone is different, I can only tell you what my experience was. Right now I am somewhat regretting sharing with you my opinion that an eventual 2.5 mg dose might give you the most relief because I simply don't know, that is what was good for me 

BUT this is your situation and only yours.

 

You may get some good ideas about what things can  make things worse for you though, from our stories.

I think of my own story as a cautionary tale: this is what can happen if you ignore the excellent advice you get here from the mods!!

 

 

 

I would strongly urge you NOT to go all the way back to 5 mgs at this point!! this is a very potent drug, a little bit goes a long long way

 

It would be ideal and much safer if you were able to get the liquid and find your sweet spot for a reinstatement by starting very low and very slowly going up til you can better handle any symptoms you might have

 

please do try to get a dr to do a prior authorization for the liquid. If you can, request a different dr

 

this is your health and your life and they need to listen to you.

 

2 hours ago, letthisbeover23 said:

I've never had any issues starting the pills back again. 

 

Unfortunately, we can only get away with doing this so many times before our brains say no more! and we find that we have kindled

 

we can not predict when this will happen but this is why we say to go SLOW and to try to stay as stable as you can!! 

 

once you have kindled, you just have to ride it out because an increase can cause just as many problems, if not more, than a decrease in dose will. 

we/you do NOT know if you're already at this point

Try very very hard not to make impulsive decisions and go up and down in your dose

 

taking that one 10mg pill shouldn't be a problem but taking another one might! we just do not know

 

once you have kindled, you have no choice really but to ride it out.  

 

frankly I was so much like you, I was afraid of making the liquid doses and messing up, I wanted things to be simple the way they had been in the past

I didn't take the time to do the relatively easy things that the mods and admin here were suggesting that i do, and I sorely regretted it- for at least 3 years.

the first year of being kindled was the worst, I hardly slept at all.

 

I know you are scared and exhausted and so done with this whole thing but please dont' make any drastic big decisions

 

force yourself to ignore the drs saying this is no big deal, THEY do not have to live with the consequences, YOU do

 

the advice you are getting here from the mods is very very valuable advice, please try hard to follow it as best you can

 

I am just a mentor, just a support person, I can tell you what happened for me but this is very much a Your Mileage may vary situation

 

I do know that Lexapro is super strong, and small changes have a HUGE effect so please don't think going from zero to 10mgs is safe, it is not.

 

it is not going to harm you to stay on a low dose for a long time, if that's what it takes for you to stabilize, live your life and raise your kids.

 

you don't have to even think about that now, though

 

 

you just want to get to where your life is manageable

 

a low reinstatement may very well  help you a lot, but taking a lot of the drug all at once is playing with fire, it really truly is.

more is NOT better in this situation!! think small  

I honestly thought I was a "special case" because I had such a long long drug history with so many cold switches from one drug to another, so many cold turkeys off different drugs, I felt invincible. I thought I had some super special nervous system that could handle this all. I was so so wrong!! 

 

 

my nervous system is like anyone else's, it can just take so much before it says ENOUGH and puts its foot down, so to speak, and you find yourself so destabilized that nothing you do will give you that quick fix you got in the past

 

I am not trying to scare you, only to warn you as I was warned that going up and down in the dose like this is a very bad idea! I chose not to heed that advice and I suffered greatly for it

 

I did eventually fully recover, but I was past menopause and had no kids to raise, no other stress in my life, so while it was miserable it didn't have any big negative effects on anyone but myself.  I could have spared myself a lot of distress if I had just listened and believed the advice of ppl who knew a lot more than I did at that time.

 

 

please try to get the liquid from your dr.. I don't know if it's all made by the same company but the liquid I got had a slight pleasant minty taste!

 

 

you're smart, You  do it! 

 

 

 

edited for clarity and typos

Edited August 29, 2023 by Happy2Heal