preturndays: New Here. Several weeks tapering off Lexapro/Escitalopram from 10 to 5 mg, 5 to 5 mg, 5 to 2.5 mg, and 2.5. Now 3rd week on 2.5/2.5 mg. Also, back pain ?

[preturndays]

Hello everyone,

 

I really should be thrilled since I'm close to the finish line.

However, my withdrawal symptoms are a pain today.

I have been wrenching this whole time on 2.5 mg and eventually I vomited today.

Usually, wreching happens in the mornings and then it subsides but today it has been rough.

I'm curious as to know if any of you went through the same thing?

I can't seem to get my stomach to not be upset with me and I'm just miserable right now.

 

Any suggestions on how to stop or lessen the nausea and vomiting ?

I've taken Ginger Chews and Ondansetron (it lasts for several hours), but if there is something else let me know how you decompress from this mimic gastroenteritis.

 

or maybe I should go back to 5 mg/2.5.  I think after I wrote down my history I get why I'm vomiting.

Perhaps, I tapered off too soon from my 5 & 2.5 mg.

If symptoms still occur, especially the vomiting then I will go back. (Nice to know I'm the dumb ass here that tapered too soon from the dosage lol)

 

 

Also, another thing:  I know that aches and pain can be one of the withdrawal symptoms, but have any of you survivors gone through lower/upper body back pain through this???

I thought it was just me getting old, but apparently my spine is good.  Got an X-Ray/MRI done and the space between them has nothing grinding against the other (thankful for that) and none of the nerves are, either.

So no surgery or anything.  I'm going through rehabilitation, which seems to lessen the pain and I use a heating pad and take Epsom salt baths but the pain still persists.  It's pretty weird.

I was active in Pilates Fusion routines and ran (I stopped running about two years ago.), but now I changed to Yoga (not advanced Yoga. Just beginner's) and use a Elliptical.  

Anyways, just want to know if any of you have/are suffering from back pain from your withdrawal symptoms.

 

 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My history with Escitalopram 10 mg :

First time:  Went cold turkey.  I was naive and just went into it.  Not recommended.  Started September 2022-October 2022.

 

Found this sight and started to taper off Escitalopram.  

 

October 2022-January 23, 2022:  10 mg every day

January 24 2023-April 10, 2023: 10 mg & 5 mg every other day

April 11, 2023- July 1, 2023 : 5 mg everyday

July 2, 2023- August 4, 2023:  5 & 2.5 mg every other day

August 5, 2023- present: 2.5 mg everyday

Edited August 18 by Emonda
Name to title

[Emonda]

Welcome to S.A. @preturndays,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been knocked around with WD symptoms recently.

 

So the moderators can best help you, please complete your drug signature by following these instructions: I could be wrong, but it looks like your current drug signature has just been typed at the bottom of your post. Adding a signature ensures your drug history appears at the bottom of each and every post, making it more efficient for those trying to assist.

 

If I understand your post correctly, you’ve previously been alternating doses? 5mg one day, 2.5mg the next, then 5mg etc? If so, that’s not the recommendation on this site, and I can imagine it would be quite destabilising to your taper and recovery. You mentioned you are experiencing nausea/vomiting, and this is a known WD symptom.

 

For the past 3-4 weeks, you’ve been holding at 2.5mg every day? I would not taper again for some months for your body to settle down and the WD to subside. Another moderator may drop past and suggest stabilising at a slightly higher dose, but I’ll leave that to their wisdom.

 

Personally, I dropped too fast myself 18 months ago (before finding this site) and decided to revert from 5mg back to 7.5mg of a different AD (the point I last felt okay) to stabilise for close to 6 months before tapering again.

 

Once stable, the recommendation is to reduce by 10% per month of the most recent dose. So, if you decide to stabilise at 2.5mg for some months, eventually, you will drop to: 90% * 2.5mg = 2.25mg. You’d hold there for another month before dropping again: 90% * 2.25mg = 2.025mg. The monthly reduction gets smaller and smaller.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Emonda

[preturndays]

Hello,

 

Thank-you for responding. 

I felt so alone and yeah, if the WD symptoms still persists I'm going back to the previous dosage.

 

Also, I bought some syringes online that when I start to taper off to a new dosage I can go on the 2.25 mg. 

Thank-you for telling me about the 10% reduction.   

I would have never known and I should have used this website and signed up much sooner, but I was talking to my primary doctor and she seemed to agree with me about halving the medication dosage.  I'm not mad at her.  I think she DOES NOT know about the 10% tapering off method, but I think I will inform her about this site and tapering off so if a patient wants to taper off they do not suffer like me.

 

But yes, I thought by halving my dosage and slowly taking it that I would be alright.  Not really.  This method was paved in a long road to hell and I can't describe how much I have suffered and how the withdrawal symptoms are so very bad.

 

I am glad and relieved from your input.  That there is another way of reducing the dosage and I hope the withdrawal symptoms will be much less a pain.  I even found and bought syringes that will be accustomed to the 10% reduction method, but I won't be using them yet until I feel I have adapted to the 2.5 mg.

 

Can I also ask something ?  Since you are a moderator (and can you get in touch with other moderators, also ?) do you/they know any people on this forum that when halving like me...did they ever go through really bad body pain and aches  ?

 

I can't thank-you enough,

preturndays <3  <3  

[Emonda]

Thanks for updating your signature, @preturndays,

 

10 hours ago, preturndays said:

I felt so alone and yeah

 

There are heaps of us in the same boat at S.A., so you're not alone anymore.

 

10 hours ago, preturndays said:

I'm not mad at her.  I think she DOES NOT know about the 10% tapering off method

 

Yep, we just have to accept the past and move forward. I didn't know about the 10% either, nor did my doctor. A random Google search landed me here.

 

10 hours ago, preturndays said:

any people on this forum that when halving like me...did they ever go through really bad body pain and aches  ?

 

Plenty of members on S.A have experienced exactly what you are. From time to time, I find it reassuring to read that what I may be experiencing is a typical WD symptom. Have a read of the  WD symptom checklist.

 

Lastly, that's great you've purchased small syringes to help with tapering, but put them in the bottom draw for a few months. Hold where you are for several months until the WD is manageable, then consider tapering.

 

Take care.

 

Emonda

[preturndays]

Dear Emonda or Admin,

 

I was wondering, I am on 2.0 mg, now.  And I need to know what my next taper dosage is or how to calculate 10% off on my calculator when it comes to a new dosage ?  I thought I knew how to but apparently I'm having trouble with that so if anyone can help I will be very thankful.  

 

My new dosage makes me feel like I need to vomit/nausea every morning and I feel nervous, even though I have a stable job and there's no stress in my life.

My nervousness effects my gut/stomach, so that's why I have this constant effect of feeling sick to my stomach.

I know this is part of my withdrawal symptoms, but I actually got worried and saw my gastro doctor.  We did an EGD and found that there was no stomach cancer and my biopsy came back negative but I still have a follow-up appointment with my gastro doctor this month.  I'm relieved that it wasn't cancer, although these withdrawal symptoms make me think I have something else.  And yes, my doctors know I am tapering off my Lexapro and they have read about withdrawal symptoms.  HOWEVER, I don't think they completely understand the scope of the withdrawal symptoms or how painful/humiliating tapering off SSRI's.

 

Thank-you and I hope your holidays are awesome,

Megumi

[Emonda]

Given you are not feeling great, I would hold your dose until you feel stable.

 

Once you feel stable, give yourself a little longer to recover.

 

Eventually, the next dose would be no less than 2mg * 90% = 1.8mg. But you don't have to drop that much. It could be 1.9mg or even 1.95mg.

 

It's not a race.

 

Hope that helps.

[preturndays]

Dear Emonda,

 

Thank-you for your reply.  

 

It does help and thank-you for reminding me that tapering off is not a race and I appreciate and value your words.

 

I need to feel stable before moving onto the next dosage and I am not going to do that anytime soon since I don't feel like I have recovered just yet and it has only been my second week on the new dosage.  I think my next one will be 1.9 rather 1.8.  I read somewhere on this forum that when someone is tapering off almost to their end, the more someone might feel their withdrawal symptoms since SSRI's come from really powerful drugs.  Maybe I'm in that realm so it'll probably be 1.9 than 1.8.

 

Thank-you for helping me,

Preturndays

[preturndays]

Dear Community,

 

Started my new dosage, 1.19 ml, last week.

Last week's symptoms went pretty well.  The withdrawal symptoms weren't even that bad. I feel like I'm starting to be much more clearer.

 

This is my second week on 1.19 ml and I'm....a little more cranky, but it is only the 8th day of my new dosage.

I feel like today I am halved and those two halves are trying to connect/reconnect but there is a slight bit of friction where they are not coming together.

Hopefully, it will resolve itself.

 

I also have my period to look forward to so maybe that's why I'm a little bit more lively.  These withdrawal symptoms get really bad during my period, also.

 

I am thankful that somewhere in the 2.20 or 2.00 ml of withdrawal symptoms that the UNGODLY amount of lower back pain isn't as much as were in the past.  I REALLY hated the back pain.  I even went to physical therapy twice because the pain hit me badly and going through therapy helped me alleviate it.

I still get a low grade fever in the morning due to having the mimic flu but usually this abates by an hour or two.

My gastroenteritis symptoms are much more calmer.  My nausea isn't as bad or it isn't as nearly there when I wake up early.  I still retch a couple times in a few hours, but nothing like how it was going.  The new symptoms like stomach bloating and stomach cramps are minimum, but it's there for most of the hours I'm awake.  I still have diarrhea but not like I used to and it was pretty bad.  I couldn't go out without having to know where the restrooms were at.

I still have uncontrollable mouth twitches when I talk.

I still have abnormal smells and my appetite is alright.  I still haven't regained it all yet (my happiness or will to enjoy eating) but at least I'm eating and my weight isn't under or over.

I still wake up early no matter how many hours of sleep I get and I don't always feel rested. 

I still get to the point where I have low energy and fall asleep.

My anxious, nervous, and tense are still around and a feeling of restlessness comes around when I do feel mimic anxiety disorders. They do come in waves and I try to read or do something to not let it bother me, even though it does.  I have nothing to be nervous about.  Will try soothing music. 

I do get irritable, but I try to not show it even though my partner tells me I am. lol.  So I fail at hiding it. 

I can FEEL more, which sometimes makes me cry but I'm GRATEFUL for that.  I don't know what Lexapro did to me but I'm glad I'm reconnecting to myself, again.

[preturndays]

Dear Community,

 

I didn't reply for a while because during February I got COVID for 19 days so when I was on 1.18 ml I couldn't really tell you if my withdrawal symptoms were present since I was dealing with COVID.  Since it was the three week mark, I changed down to 1.17.  

 

The new dose has made me vomit (old but coming back symptom), retch, have flu-like ache and pains, dizziness (new symptom), uncontrollable mouth twitches, low energy, change in appetite, abnormal smells.  Sometimes I get nervous or feel my heart racing, but this also passes.

These withdrawal symptoms are nothing new, except for the slight dizziness.  It came in a wave in the morning today but I don't feel it anymore.

Usually my vomiting and retching are a morning thing, also.  If it gets bad I have some medicine I can take to help it relieve my symptoms.

So I'm not worried about any of these withdrawal symptoms.  All of these are something I go through on a daily basis and it isn't dire.

I can say that the nausea I experience has left, so that is a good thing.  Usually when I vomit/retch the nausea will appear but it hasn't.  I'm pretty surprised.  I thought nausea would stick to my side forever on this journey.  Let's hope it never comes back

 

Since it is the first week on 1.17 ml I can say that I'm surviving it.  I hope all of you on your journey are as well.

 

-Preturndays

[preturndays]

Dear Community,

 

I am writing to you and I am really lazy with my updates, even though I'm online and it just takes a finger snap to get here, you know?

 

So, it is April 11, 2024 and my first dose on 1.15.  Nothing to write about on the first day, you know.

 

When I was on my 1.16 ml I didn't suffer from a whole lot of mimic gastroenteritis.  I didn't have nausea, retching, or vomiting.

I would have soft stools but no diarrhea on a morning basis that I got previously.  There are a few times I would have soft stools until the late afternoon, too, but no diarrhea would occur.

 

However, after COVID I noticed my stool was very dark-brown, but not wholly black and I would have very light stomach pains and cramps and bloating.  I discussed this with my primary care doctor and she placed me on omeprazole and it has been okay.  I don't have stomach cramps, but light stomach bloating.

 

With the psychiatric symptoms I had Low Energy, Change in appetite, Irritability, Aggressiveness, Worsened Mood, Confusion, and Forgetfulness (which I did recall why I forgot or why I was confused). 

 

With Medical Symptoms I had Flu-like Pain and aches, Abnormal Smells (lessened and now I no longer have, I think), and Uncontrollable Mouth Twitches (this still plagues me everyday).  Just a few times I have had headaches, but because it is spring and we get HEAVY pollen that it could be from that and not my medication.  Also, on very rare days I will have dizziness, too, but this has not been a real problem.

 

I still have stomach bloat and two weeks later I'm scheduled to go to the doctor and get my blood drawn and have a follow up this month so she can see if I'm alright.

 

So, far I can manage my symptoms but there are days where my mood is worsened and I can tell I'm a different person.  I really dislike that because I know I wasn't like that or could manage it without Lexapro and I have to chill out.

 

I think that is all for updates.  I hope I get better appearing here but I can't give you my word.

 

I hope all of you are doing better or have found something that makes it less uncomfortable and painful and you look forward to that positive everyday on this journey.

 

I give you a lot of love and faith,

Preturndays 

[preturndays]

 

I started this journey at 10 mg and now I'm at .7 ml.

And I confess at one point I was taking Lexapro at 20 mg and I think they let me take 40 mg at one point!  But like I said I started this journey at 10 mg and its been over a year.  I even accidentally messed up my Signature and had to correct it because my mind was compromised at the time.  I was placing in 1.19 ml, 1.18 ml, etc when it should have been 1.9 ml, 1.8 ml.  It's funny that my mind didn't make this correction until I REALLY noticed the syringe dosage and looked at my Daily Checklist and then found the mistake.  The dosage I was giving myself was correct but on paper and on the Signature website it was wrong.  I have corrected the mistake but it took until July 2024 to find it ! I'm shocked at how my brain just compensated for this wild mistake.  I was both horrified, shocked and somewhat exasperated.  I could only laugh after the shock wore off 

 

 

The withdrawal symptoms are still a pain for me.  I find that my thoughts will go to accuse people I know and love.  It's like a witch hunt and I have to calm down by questioning it, prayer, or exercise.  I talk to my husband whose really a good counselor to me and keeps me in check.  Communication is what he wants from me and I try.  At first I wasn't even talking but when he talked about his pain and what I was like I realized I failed him and I didn't want that.  It's not 100% but we are overall good together.  I just need to explain what's happening so when he's in the know then he can try to help me or soothe me.

 

I also go to a psychiatrist also and I'm making progress with that.  I have Dissociation and I would "leave" his room.  The Dissociation Place I'm in has nothing in it and is a black back ground but I can see myself in first or third person.  There is no smell, there is no cold or warmth in this place in my head.  But now when I Dissociate I am both in the Dissociation Room and in his therapy room.  It is a bit weird, I know.  I can feel coolness of the therapy room and smell the fragrance of the therapy room and see the light, the glass stained window, bookcase, plants, but also a split image of the Dissociation Room where there is nothing and I feel no sense of nothing.  It's only been several months but little by little I am getting better, but I know I need more work done.

 

My psychiatric symptoms are:  Crying Spells, Worsened Mood, Low Energy like fatigue & lethargy, change in appetite, I often just get 5-6 of sleep but I feel like I haven't rested, Nervous, cognitive difficulty and memory problems or forgetfulness.  I do have Aggression but not physical.  It's Mental Aggression I have for myself. Sometimes feeling detached.

 

My Medical Symptoms are: Back pain and aches but they are slight now, Retch but no Vomit, Diarrhea or soft stools, sometimes morning Nausea, mouth twitches, Abnormal Smells or Tastes, Headaches.

 

These symptoms are less from a year ago.  I know it looks bad and it might read to you bad, but it was a WHOLE LOT WORSE (especially the Mimic Flu, Mimic Gastroenteritis, and Dizziness) having all of these withdrawal symptoms, especially when my period happens.  Ugh.  Just thinking about it makes me not want to go through with it but I'm here and I am still going to try to taper down to 0. 

 

I usually would get scared and think I was crazy when I was at 1.9 ml.....but now those thoughts don't come to me.  I don't feel insane as I taper down.  Has that happened to you?  You think you are crazy or maybe just maybe that this is your personality before you were given a prescription but once you taper down those thoughts of losing control/insane are less and you feel more stable ? It's amazing the self-doubt I felt back then.  If you are in doubt mode like I was, then you will one day come out of it.

 

So, that's about it for now.  I will try to make an effort to write more but I can't promise you.

 

See you later,

Preturndays

[preturndays]

Good morning,

 

It has been a while since my last update.

I thought I would feel more sane, but to tell you the truth I went through fretting thoughts from roughly August-Sept.  There was no need to be.  I work from home, now, and nothing has changed but these fretting thoughts put a lot on my mind which made my menstruations go haywire.  My spouse has been supporting me and I calmed down.  He is going cold turkey also but he seems more put together.

 

Today is my last day on .4 ml.  How has that gone?

 

The psychiatric symptoms:  I have low energy but I have been fighting off napping.  I am experimenting with energy drinks, but I do not drink all of it.  It seems to help, but I do not want to become addictive to this stuff because it does effect the outcome of my sleep I've noticed.  I actually do not feel a strong intensity to anxiety, nervous, or being tense all day long.  There seems to be normal periods where I don't feel this, which is good because Aug-Sept were hard months to get through with fretting thoughts.  I still get irritable, but there's nothing I can do but accept this mood and move on.  I still have cognitive problems and forgetfulness.  Sometimes, the forgetfulness will make me feel like I'm flighty and I feel really irresponsible when my forgetfulness hits and I think I'm insane.  I know "insane" is a strong word to insult myself with and I shouldn't be so derogatory about this, because there are real people who suffer from insanity and they probably can't do normal things I take for granted.  The good thing about my forgetfulness is that I can recall or remember what I needed to finish.  That's pretty fair especially when I need to turn the stove off after I've made breakfast.

 

The medical symptoms:  I still have lower back pain/aches, but the pain goes away.  My nausea and diarrhea are mostly gone.  I'm really happy about that.  If nausea does come around it is really vague and in the morning times.  When I do have diarrhea it isn't a whole week I suffer from, thankfully.  I used to have that.  I remember when I couldn't just walk into a place.  I had to find the restroom once I got to the store and sometimes I would have to go again.  When I do have diarrhea it might be a few hours or several hours, it depends, but after my system flushes it out I feel better and I want to do things.  Rather than stay in bed all the time and feel hurt.  I can actually feel trust being reestablished with my body.  I'm not saying it is perfect.  There have been days where I wore a pad just to feel secure that my bowels wouldn't betray me when I went somewhere but that's better than when I first began this tapering.  The light dizziness I always felt is now really vague or gone.  That's a positive.  I don't get motion sickness or feel lightheadedness or swaying.  I'm always surprised how much of my medical symptoms are leaving me.  The only one that's been resistant is my mouth twitches.  Whenever I hold a conversation and the subject can be light or an intense topic I feel the corner of my mouth twitch uncontrollably.  It is always the left side that does it and I have to tell friends and family about it so they don't freak out about it.

 

My period is effected by this.  I've had to wait more on my period or I get a second irregular period after my initial one.  I thought it was because I was fretting too much during my Aug-Sept but now that I am not I think there's is something wrong with my body, again.  I went to see my doctor, got some blood work done, but the Labcorp labs are not done.  I know my estradiol and FSH look to be in good range but right now I have to wait.  I don't know if there's another female suffering from this or if it isn't part of the withdrawal process, but a real medical symptom I suffer from.  So the jury is out.  I'm just waiting to see what I have or don't.

 

I know I have written about how my period effects the withdrawal symptoms.  They are exaggerated more, which makes me suffer a whole lot more but as I taper down to .4 ml I don't feel like I have a host of problems.  It's the second day of my menstrual cycle and I should have had some soft stools or diarrhea by now but I don't.  I should be retching or feeling more dizziness and nausea but I am not.  This is a good thing because my medical symptoms were really bad on my period.  Well, even my psychiatric symptoms were also exacerbated by my period but I don't think I feel overwhelmed, now. I guess I'll have to touch base after my cycle ends and let you know.