Venna: Tapering from Celexa - terrible anxiety

[Venna]

Hi all,

 

I have a longer story, but for now I have been on 30mg of Celexa largely for anxiety since 2012 and during the pandemic I started to have much worse anxiety (I was very, very isolated), and after consulting a psych APRN who told me Celexa “could be activating”, I decided to taper down. My goal was to get to zero. I started the taper on July 4, 2022 and managed a fair amount of it pretty well: dizziness, stomach, fear, doom, weird pain, shaking….I had a .5 Ativan prescription I rarely used, but was there if needed. I did start to have panic attacks, and for a few months I had nightly nocturnal attacks, which were awful. I called 911 on New Year’s Eve because I thought I was dying, but I managed to realize it was panic over the next few months.

 

But in July I went to do a two-week housesit and I was isolated, away from my supports and now at 11mg. I didn’t feel super safe in the house (it was very isolated and one door didn’t lock), and the air seemed bad (mold?). I really lost it. Possibly the worst anxiety and panic of my life. I took bits of Ativan and my psychiatrist (a new one, wholistic and supportive of the taper), told me to take more to get out the cycle. It was terrifying: external and internal shaking, insomnia, inability to concentrate on anything other than anxiety, etc. My mom had to come out and stay with me for a few days. My stomach went really off and I have had difficulty eating since.

 

The psychiatrist advised me to go up to 12mg, then 13, then 14mg of Celexa. He thought it was because I was away from all my supports and due to the withdrawal. Also, my work had ended for the summer and I had nothing to do - so everything I had been covering up with work really shone through.

 

I recovered a bit, but when into a bad place again recently and am SO ANXIOUS. I am avoiding taking Ativan because I am terrified of being addicted, but I have taken bits here and there. Yesterday I had a huge panic attack and at the urging of a friend, took .5mg. 

 

I am now at 15mg of Celexa for one week and while occasionally I will have a few hours of feeling “normal” (last night I had a respite), I feel profoundly anxious and frightened this will never go away. I really need my life back. Work starts again this coming Tuesday. 

 

I AM trying showers, cold packs, long walks, acupuncture (helpful), zero caffeine (for years), but I had really having difficulty concentrating on anything but THIS. I tried DNRS, and it seemed so promising, but now it seems my limbic system wants to kill me by not letting me eat, sleep well or have non-anxious times. Has anyone experienced anxiety like this? Is this withdrawal? Is this because I took some Ativan and now it is “rebound anxiety”? My family tells me to stop reading forums like this, it is just upsetting to me, but I could use some help / advice from people who have gone through this.

[Onmyway]

Hi @Venna, 

this does sound like withdrawal. It seems like the updosing has helped somewhat. Would you agree with that? You say you have had no caffeine but what about alcohol? 

 

The only solution is to wait it out without making any more changes right now. I suspect that starting work will help with not focusing on this entirely. 

 

Are you using any techniques to help with the anxiety? Have you done anything else other than medication in terms of managing anxiety? Any therapy? What kind? CBT?

 

Lots of our members find Claire Weekes' methods very helpful. 

We also recommend magnesium which helps calm things down. 

 

How is your sleep? 
OMW

 

 

[Venna]

Hi O M W,

 

Thank you so much for your reply, I appreciate it.

 

1) no alcohol since early July

 

2) I mis-wrote, I am at 14mg and I THINK the updosing helped, but it’s really not clear

 

3) I took bits of Ativan for almost two weeks (some days nothing), but today I switched to Lavendar Oil pills - Lavela, because I am terrified of having to do a benzo withdrawal. Do you think I need to do any type of tapering from the Ativan if I used it for two weeks semi-consistently (but at different doses)? The Lavela really helped today.

 

4) I have been using a CBT Panic Attack workbook and went over the breathing exercises again today (will keep doing that). I do lots of walks, EFT tapping, writing and listing gratitudes and “wins” for each day. I also meditate a few times per week when I am calm enough.

 

5) My sleep has been the worst it’s ever been. But I read a NYTimes article about CBT-Insomnia and bought the program. It’s a five week course for helping with sleep and I have already learned some helpful things. On the experiential side, if I don’t sleep, I PANIC and it’s wretched.

 

6) I have heard of Claire Weekes’ method and write it down for myself every-so-often, but I haven’t really gotten a hang of it. The anxiety is worst when I am trying to FIGHT it.  The anxiety and panic is worst in the mornings, there is that feeling of internal restlessness that nothing will calm.

 

This has put so much pressure on my romantic relationship. He has no inkling of issues like this and just doesn’t get it. But today was a better day and I will take that and value that deeply. Again, thank you for writing and checking up on me. 

[Venna]

Today is so much worse. The panic and anxiety is unending. Could two weeks of some ativan (at different doses) have caused this?

 

I have been tapering since July 2022, when does this get better? I am so down and frightened.

[Onmyway]

Hi @Venna

Could you please update your signature with the correct dose and as exact dates as possible of each cut/updose in the last 24 months rather than just the year?

 

The most likely culprit  causing this latest  upset in July is likely the alcohol but irregular dosing of ativan can contribute as well.  If you can refrain from taking any, it might help.  

 

This will get better.  If may take a while but your nervous system will recalibrate itself.  Until then you need to just endure it.  It sounds impossible to endure but I know you can get through it. Don't fight the panic and anxiety. Just allow them to get through your body. Don't fear them,  your body is perfectly capable of enduring this.  The anxiety/ fear/ panic are not dangerous,  they're just unpleasant.  Think of them as simply sensations.  Your goal is not to avoid them (you can't) but to get through them.  Ride the wave of whichever emotion arises.

 

If you find yourself ruminating,  distract. Try to get out for at least some time every day,  a 15-30 min walk. 

 

So listen to Claire Weekes videos on YouTube.  They really work.  Might not fix everything but will help. 

 

Omw

 

Re: sleep, pls have a look at the morning cortisol thread in the symptoms forum.  You can search for it, I'm on a mobile and don't have the link handy. 

Edited September 5, 2023 by Onmyway

[Ma205]

Hey how are you doing?