KathrynM Should I reinstate?

[KathrynM]

Hello. I stopped citalopram on 9/5/23 at 1.98mg into my taper of 3+ years. I just wanted to be done. I’m now having EXTREME anxiety and I don’t know what to do. It is effecting everything and I’m really struggling. I was ok the first couple of weeks but this week I feel like I’m going to panic and have a nervous breakdown. Is it too late for me to reinstate?

also my dr just gave me some Buspar yesterday. But I’m too scared to take it. Should I take this?

[KathrynM]

10 hours ago, KathrynM said:

Hello. I stopped citalopram on 9/5/23 at 1.98mg into my taper of 3+ years. I just wanted to be done. I’m now having EXTREME anxiety and I don’t know what to do. It is effecting everything and I’m really struggling. I was ok the first couple of weeks but this week I feel like I’m going to panic and have a nervous breakdown. Is it too late for me to reinstate?

I am going to reinstate now. I need to do something. I’m about to lose my mind. I was hoping for some confirmation this is the right thing to do even after more than 3 weeks of being off. I will try going back to 1.98 mg. Thank you.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @KathrynM

 

Did you go back to 1.98mg? How are you doing?

[KathrynM]

On 10/9/2023 at 7:44 PM, Altostrata said:

Welcome, @KathrynM

 

Did you go back to 1.98mg? How are you doing?

Yes I did. It seemed like the best thing to do. I’m doing a little better but I’m still struggling a bit w anxiety. It’s hard to tell how bad it really is because yesterday I had to fly from NY to tje west coast and I get such bad anxiety when I fly. I did end up getting some Xanax from the dr for the flight and that helped although it barely takes the edge off of my anxiety. I will be here for a week and then have to fly back again and I’m still having pretty bad anxiety. If it had been 4 weeks since I quit the 1.98 mg. How long do you think it normally takes to kind of level you back out? I’m worried I’m going to have to go on a higher dose of my anxiety remains at this level. 

[Altostrata]

While you were tapering citalopram, did you get withdrawal symptoms? What was your tapering method?

[KathrynM]

I tapered every 3-4weeks as long as I felt stable by 5%. I started in June 2020 so I went very slowly. I weighed the tablet w a scale recommended by the FB group Citalopram should be illegal. And I’ve followed that to a tee u til last month when I stopped. 

[Altostrata]

How did you calculate 5%? Did you get withdrawal symptoms while you were tapering?

[KathrynM]

I used a chart from the citalopram should be illegal Facebook group and followed the method outlined By Ann Blake Tracey. I used a calculator to determine the next drop and subtracted 5% from which ever dose I was at. I did get withdrawals not horrible but a little bit and noticeable each time I tapered for about one to two weeks u til I leveled out and then I’d wait about two weeks before tapering again. In May I began to be a little anxious and started taking some cbd to try to offset and it was working ok. Well enough that I would say I was feeling great enough to decide I wanted to just be done. Which was clearly NOT the right thing to do. I found some old Xanax in a drawer and I also got some for my recent flight so I’ve been taking them here and there because I literally have. It been able to function.

[Altostrata]

We advise people not to continue tapering while they have withdrawal symptoms. How much citalopram were you taking in May 2023?

[KathrynM]

Ok. I will have to check. I am in Oregon and my log is in Ny but I can have my husband look it up for me. Should I reinstate to where I was in May?

[Altostrata]

It's possible 1.98mg is not quite enough, but you can bump it up without knowing where you were in May. Can you estimate the May dose?

[KathrynM]

Actually I asked my husband to text me a photo of my log and I was at 2.94mg towards then end of April. Thank you so much for just replying. It means so much to me. Especially in this time when I am struggling so much. 

[Altostrata]

You may wish to try 2.25mg. Please let us know how you're doing. 

[KathrynM]

I will try this. Thank you so much. Be well.

[KathrynM]

When I woke up this morning I actually felt some relief from going back to the 2.25 as you suggested and for the first half of the day I have been OK like 75% better. I even had an appetite for a bit but as the day goes on I’m becoming increasingly anxious and feel panic like a pit in my stomach and I keep having to take deep breaths. Should I anticipate a certain number of days/weeks until it fully kicks back in?

[Altostrata]

Yes, it will take about a week for full effect. You may still have waves and windows of withdrawal symptoms while you stabilize on a reinstatement.

[KathrynM]

Thank you!

[edgewater9]

Kathryn,

    I am going through a very similar experience with citalopram.  After reinstating with .5mg a month ago after 3 weeks fully off meds and experiencing a horrible crash, I began to have extreme full body anxiety and internal/external shaking out of nowhere.

I started a very small updose two days ago and have already noticed significant improvement. Although I'm still anxious it's much better and not incapacitating, hang in there and know you are not alone:)

[edgewater9]

Oh and by the way, my doctor also gave me Buspar when I continued to have severe withdrawal symptoms after originally reinstating...it was a disaster and I had severe akathasia until I had to stop the Buspar immediately with no tapering...I would not recommend it.

[KathrynM]

Dear @edgewater9 thank you so much. It makes me feel a little better to know I’m not alone. It’s just so hard and I just want to feel better. You are only taking half a milligram? I haven’t tried the Buspar I’m too scared. I had to fly to Oregon on Tuesday and my anxiety was unreal. My dr gave me a few Xanax and I found a few also back in a drawer at my house that were from like 2015 so if I absolutely can’t take it anymore I’ve been taking them. I’m almost out though but I have to fly home Tuesday so I’ve got to just make it back.

[edgewater9]

Now I am on .6mg and even that small amount made a big difference.  I was having a full break down, the moderators advised me not to start the Buspar while my nervous system was so unstable but I listened to my doctor. It was the first time in my life I had seriously bad ideations and it felt like bugs were underneath my skin after 6 days of taking it. I posted and the moderators told me to stop taking it immediately, I listened and in 24 hrs the symptoms were about 20% of what they were. By the second day of stopping I felt a million times better. Unfortunately It halted my progress stabilizing and pushed me backwards severely.

[KathrynM]

I feel like I am also have a nervous breakdown. I am wondering if I should reinstate at a higher dose but I am going to follow the suggestion I was given here to go to 2.25. It feels awful to just be in a constant state of anxiety. I’m definitely doing better than I was but I’m still really struggling and my stomach feels so tight. It’s like a super tight ball right in the middle of my chest/top of my stomach. I just wish my body could relax.

[edgewater9]

A moderator would have to weigh in but my personal advice would be to give your system at least a week to adjust to the 2.25 before changing anything, it should settle in by then. I know it's really difficult but kind of the only way to see how the dose really works for you. If super bad anxiety continues you could always do a very small updose after that week, another .25mg might be appropriate. Just remember you can always continue your taper at a later date, i plan on holding at the .6mg or even do another small updose myself if severe symptoms come up again, I'm only on the fourth day myself.

[KathrynM]

Thanks so much. I appreciate you taking the time to share. Best of luck to you too.  I hope you feel better soon.

[edgewater9]

Thank you, and please remember you should not have to suffer through severe withdrawal symptoms like that type of anxiety.  I've tried hard for almost 2 years and still have not been able to come off citalopram, and I almost had a legitimate breakdown with 2 small children and a great job.  I've decided that wherever I'm comfortable and functioning well as far as dose is where I'm going to stay, if I need to keep updosing to do that it's a no brainer for me at this point. I hope you the best and please write if you need help. I was alone through most of this and this site probably saved my life.

[KathrynM]

Thank you. I have been tapering for over three years and if I had to fully gonna k on forever to get this feeling to go away right now I would. That is how bad it is. I’ve got three kids although they are bigger now but I also have a good job I’m worried I’m going to screw up because I’m having a nervous breakdown. My only saving Grace right now is that I work from home. 

[edgewater9]

I know the feeling, I would just say go slow with the updosing. I tried to updose too much too quickly when I reinstated and had a bad reaction. The small dosage increase and giving it at least a week to settle will hopefully save you some pain, that's why the mods correctly recommend it.

[Altostrata]

@KathrynM how has your symptom pattern changed since Thursday?

[KathrynM]

I have definitely been a little less  anxious but ask still having bouts of extreme anxiety. It is hard to tell because I know I have to fly in a couple of days and also I am visiting family which is also anxiety inducing for me. I will have a much better sense of how I feel once I arrive back in NY late Tuesday evening. 

[Altostrata]

You might want to increase to 2.50mg when you get home.

[KathrynM]

Should I increase now or would it be best to wait u til I get home? 

[Altostrata]

Best to make a drug change when circumstances are stable.

[KathrynM]

Thank you! 

[KathrynM]

Help @Altostrata I have reinstated at 2.53 (just because that was closest in my log) I’m having severe anxiety and panic. I don’t know what to do.

[Altostrata]

Do you feel better or worse after the increase?

[KathrynM]

I am feeing a lot better today than I was yesterday although I’m still having some anxiety. My stomach has also be bothering me. It feels like it’s just clenched and I can’t relax. Everything I eat is bothering it. Overall I def feel better since I increased the dose.