dango: SSRI missed dose am I going Crazy??

[dango]

First post and feel like I've got nowhere to turn. I'm here because I've become aware recently of SSRI withdrawal from you tube videos.
41 years old, drink quite a bit and on 100mg Sertraline. I was put on sertraline for Generalized Anxiety Disorder and depression after my dad died in 2015. I suppose Anxiety and Depression was always there even as a child but nursing my dad for 6 month before he passed away from a brain tumour sent me over the edge. To save my marriage as i was just horrible, angry and snappy i went on SSRI's. This worked, it levelled me out and life was great but roll onto 2021 onwards cracks are showing. 
If I miss a dose or i'm 12 hours late on a dose lets say, my wife will say a couple or few days later "you've missed a dose you have!. I can tell because of the way your being".

At this point im blown away with her accuracy for one thing because she's always right as in "ive missed a dose" but, i cannot agree with her telling me that its my behaviour because i don't see it. She must be right and logic would say she's making the connection to my pills being missed and my behaviour so she must be right. but why can i not see the behaviour she's talking about ? 
She will tell me "your being snappy" or "your being moody" or "you've looked so angry all day i've avoided you" or "your being funny with the kids" and I'm completely confused and thinking she's making it up. She can't be because as i say, she knows when i've missed a dose and is always right but i cannot see the behaviour shes talking about as a side affect. As far as im concerned im normal and she's the one with the problem.
I want to come off tablets and so have bought a pill cutter to do it very slowly but I'm scared my marriage wont survive it. I certainly don't need SSRI's anymore as life is good and i feel mentally well but this situation.

does the above sound like a familiar story with SSRI withdrawal or are SSRI's covering up a personality disorder i potentially have ? 
That's my thoughts anyway. 

would really appreciate others experiences. 
 

Edited October 13, 2023 by Emonda
Added name to title

[Emonda]

Welcome to S.A. @dango,

 

So the moderators can best help you, please complete your drug signature by following these instructions. Adding a signature ensures your drug history appears at the bottom of every post, making it more efficient for those trying to assist.

 

I'm sorry to hear you've had a rough time of late. You've come to the right place if you want to learn about slowing coming off ADs.

 

8 hours ago, dango said:

I'm here because I've become aware recently of SSRI withdrawal from you tube videos

 

It's good to be forewarned about WD (withdrawal symptoms) before you start tapering from Sertraline. We haven't all been that fortunate and end up learning the hard way not to stop ADs cold turkey (personal experience speaking ). The recommendation is to reduce your AD by 10% per month of the most recent dose. The amount of the reduction gets smaller and smaller every month. I'd suggest you start by reading Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

8 hours ago, dango said:

She will tell me "your being snappy" or "your being moody" or "you've looked so angry all day i've avoided you" or "your being funny with the kids" and I'm completely confused and thinking she's making it up. She can't be because as i say, she knows when i've missed a dose and is always right but i cannot see the behaviour shes talking about as a side affect. 

 

As to missing a dose and it impacting your mood such that others can see it, based on my experience, I believe that to be true (my wife will confirm that too 🙃). Missing a dose would be more noticeable with some ADs rather than others. I have a recurring alarm on my phone so I take it at the same time every day.

 

8 hours ago, dango said:

As far as im concerned im normal and she's the one with the problem.

 

Perhaps the WD from missing one dose impacts us more than we realise, and makes us a little more unpleasant...not consciously...it's just that WD can be hard. Do we have a problem? I wouldn't use that word, I think we are just dealing with the realities of WD from a very strong drug.

 

8 hours ago, dango said:

I want to come off tablets and so have bought a pill cutter to do it very slowly but I'm scared my marriage wont survive it.

 

Do it slowly. Rushing just takes longer, as the increased WD symptoms will set you back. You need to be very accurate with your cuts. Either use a scale such as the Gemini-20, or use liquid sertraline (read up on changing from tablet to liquid prior), or make your own liquid and use syringes to make the small monthly reductions. 

 

I'm no marriage counsellor, but have a few decades of experience under my belt...keep the lines of communication open about the decision to taper, and the possible WD symptoms. Maybe your wife could have a read of this site, or you could show her the WD symptom checklist by Dr Glenmullen: WD symptom checklist.

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but two that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. Add one at a time and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

Avoid alcohol. You mention you drink quite a bit. It's not going to help you taper off the ADs. 

 

Please post any updates here in your thread. It is helpful to keep everything related to your journey in one spot. You are very welcome to jump onto someone else's page and interact with them. The encouragement members give each other on this site is wonderful to see.

 

Sing out with any questions. 

 

Once again, welcome to S.A.

 

Emonda.

[Emonda]

9 hours ago, dango said:

does the above sound like a familiar story with SSRI withdrawal

 

Sorry, I forgot to answer this. Your story sounds all too familiar for SSRI withdrawals. If you have a read of other members introductions, you'll see many similar stories. You're not "going crazy"...it's the pills.