Varnadam23 Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 Hello all, If you could read my signature and maybe make some suggestions on what I could possibly do (if anything) I am in complete despair right now. I've been so misguided by doctors that I feel almost completely disabled at this point. Can't think. Can't function. Constant anxiety/depression. This site and it's success stories are keeping me going but I'm losing my entire life. Just looking for some advice on what to do. I'm not sure if I tapered the benzo too fast.....which led to the zyprexa prescription....and then I was told I can CT that...which maybe the case bc I was only it for 2 1/2 weeks. Any support and guidance would be appreciated. Peace and love to all. April, '23 Went to the doctor for panic attacks and depression episode April, '23 - .25mg Klonopin 3 1/2 weeks (tapered over 5 days) May, '23 - 150mg XL Wellbutrin for 11 days (Lifted depression but caused extreme anxiety and dissociation - CT'd) Doing okay at this point May, '23 took some CBD and caused DPDR/anxiety. Went to psych who put me back on: June, '23 - .25mg Klonopin for roughly 2 weeks (tapered over the next 3-4 weeks and jumped at .065mg on July 24th) August, '23 - .25mg Zyprexa, 10mg Buspar, 7.5 mg Remron September, '23 - Off Zyprexa, Buspar, Remron September, '23 - Started 2.5 mg Lexapro for 3 days - Direct switched to 12.5mg Zoloft. Unable to Tolerate either. Discontinued. September, '23 - Gabapentin 400mg for 2 days then Remron 7.5mg for 1 week. OFF ALL MEDS Since about September 23rd Current symptoms - DPDR - Extreme anxiety/mood swings/depression/weakness/fatigue/static vision/tinnitus/cognitive impairment/eye pain, electric sensations in head Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 21, 2023 Administrator Share Posted October 21, 2023 Welcome, @Varnadam23 How did you feel after you went off Klonopin in April and before you went on Wellbutrin? How did you feel while taking Klonopin again in June? Please be aware that if you go to the hospital for psychiatric treatment, you will most likely come out taking an assortment of drugs. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Varnadam23 Posted October 21, 2023 Author Share Posted October 21, 2023 Hey Alto, After getting off klonopin I was feeling some mild depression hense the wellbutrin prescription. After getting off Wellbutrin due to severe anxiety side effect I actually had a few days of complete clarity. Which were followed by some moderate anxiety. I attempted to try CBD gummies to take the edge off and they sent me into a dissociative state 'dpdr' I suppose. That led me to a psychiatrist who put me back on klonopin and buspar (<--- which I only took for 4 days). I took the klonopin .25mg for about 2 weeks and I started to get foggy headed and had issues with coordination as well as depression so I weaned myself off over the course of about 3-4 weeks (I'm not sure if this was too fast as maybe I developed a dependence over those 2 weeks of use maybe?). I did also make the mistake of doomscrolling reddit with benzo withdrawal and started to have all kinds of crazy anxiety and side effects when getting off klonopin the 2nd time in june. I couldn't snap out of the fight or fligh. It was nonstop anxiety flip flopping from depressive states into crazy adrenalin surges. I couldn't take it anymore and went to a dual diagnosis rehab (I'm not sure what led me to this decision). In there they put me on Zyprexa 2.5 mg (2 1/2 weeks with a few days of 5mg), Remeron 7.5mg (I stopped taking once I started Zyprexa), Buspar 10mg (stopped taking that as well like my last week there). Idk if my body is still on overdrive from coming off benzos, idk if it's from stopping Zyprexa CT even though it was only 2 weeks of use. I just don't know anymore. I'm in this constant state of feeling like a complete ghost bc my body/mind is probably dissociating from the complete horror it's going through. April, '23 Went to the doctor for panic attacks and depression episode April, '23 - .25mg Klonopin 3 1/2 weeks (tapered over 5 days) May, '23 - 150mg XL Wellbutrin for 11 days (Lifted depression but caused extreme anxiety and dissociation - CT'd) Doing okay at this point May, '23 took some CBD and caused DPDR/anxiety. Went to psych who put me back on: June, '23 - .25mg Klonopin for roughly 2 weeks (tapered over the next 3-4 weeks and jumped at .065mg on July 24th) August, '23 - .25mg Zyprexa, 10mg Buspar, 7.5 mg Remron September, '23 - Off Zyprexa, Buspar, Remron September, '23 - Started 2.5 mg Lexapro for 3 days - Direct switched to 12.5mg Zoloft. Unable to Tolerate either. Discontinued. September, '23 - Gabapentin 400mg for 2 days then Remron 7.5mg for 1 week. OFF ALL MEDS Since about September 23rd Current symptoms - DPDR - Extreme anxiety/mood swings/depression/weakness/fatigue/static vision/tinnitus/cognitive impairment/eye pain, electric sensations in head Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 21, 2023 Administrator Share Posted October 21, 2023 Your having benzo withdrawal seems likely to me. Going on and off drugs many times might have exacerbated the symptoms. If I were you, I'd stop trying to fix myself with psychotropics. They're not miracle drugs -- none of them -- and they cause problems like this. Ordinarily, low-dose reinstatement of the drug, in your case probably clonazepam, resolves withdrawal symptoms. What do you want to do? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Varnadam23 Posted October 21, 2023 Author Share Posted October 21, 2023 I whole heartedly agree Alto. Pych drugs are not the answer and, as with literally every single SA person probably says the same thing, I wish I would have considered/been warned of that when I innocently went to the doctor complaining of a panic attack. Subsequently getting my entire life turned upside down. A lot of my issues lie within. Chronic stress over the last year due to life events and my wife and I butting heads caused a lot of turmoil and added to that the lifestyle I was living led me into a depression. The problem I'm having now is that I can't even bring myself to work on those issues because my mind is either always screaming with adrenaline with torture, or once that settles I fall into this complete anhedonic state where I'm just completely unable to bring myself to do anything. So my only fear with reinstating klonopin is worsening of depression which I don't even know if that's possible given I already feel completely hopeless. I took my last dose July 24th .065 mg. I should also add I was given .25mg Ativan AM & PM for 5 days in Rehab. What a mess. If I were to reinstate...since what dose would you even recommend with that history? April, '23 Went to the doctor for panic attacks and depression episode April, '23 - .25mg Klonopin 3 1/2 weeks (tapered over 5 days) May, '23 - 150mg XL Wellbutrin for 11 days (Lifted depression but caused extreme anxiety and dissociation - CT'd) Doing okay at this point May, '23 took some CBD and caused DPDR/anxiety. Went to psych who put me back on: June, '23 - .25mg Klonopin for roughly 2 weeks (tapered over the next 3-4 weeks and jumped at .065mg on July 24th) August, '23 - .25mg Zyprexa, 10mg Buspar, 7.5 mg Remron September, '23 - Off Zyprexa, Buspar, Remron September, '23 - Started 2.5 mg Lexapro for 3 days - Direct switched to 12.5mg Zoloft. Unable to Tolerate either. Discontinued. September, '23 - Gabapentin 400mg for 2 days then Remron 7.5mg for 1 week. OFF ALL MEDS Since about September 23rd Current symptoms - DPDR - Extreme anxiety/mood swings/depression/weakness/fatigue/static vision/tinnitus/cognitive impairment/eye pain, electric sensations in head Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 21, 2023 Administrator Share Posted October 21, 2023 28 minutes ago, Varnadam23 said: I took my last dose July 24th .065 mg. How often per day were you taking Clonazepam? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Varnadam23 Posted October 21, 2023 Author Share Posted October 21, 2023 Once per day. Was taking it at all random times of the day though which I've learned is not correct. April, '23 Went to the doctor for panic attacks and depression episode April, '23 - .25mg Klonopin 3 1/2 weeks (tapered over 5 days) May, '23 - 150mg XL Wellbutrin for 11 days (Lifted depression but caused extreme anxiety and dissociation - CT'd) Doing okay at this point May, '23 took some CBD and caused DPDR/anxiety. Went to psych who put me back on: June, '23 - .25mg Klonopin for roughly 2 weeks (tapered over the next 3-4 weeks and jumped at .065mg on July 24th) August, '23 - .25mg Zyprexa, 10mg Buspar, 7.5 mg Remron September, '23 - Off Zyprexa, Buspar, Remron September, '23 - Started 2.5 mg Lexapro for 3 days - Direct switched to 12.5mg Zoloft. Unable to Tolerate either. Discontinued. September, '23 - Gabapentin 400mg for 2 days then Remron 7.5mg for 1 week. OFF ALL MEDS Since about September 23rd Current symptoms - DPDR - Extreme anxiety/mood swings/depression/weakness/fatigue/static vision/tinnitus/cognitive impairment/eye pain, electric sensations in head Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 21, 2023 Administrator Share Posted October 21, 2023 My amateur guess is that if you reinstated 0.05mg clonazepam twice a day (12 hours apart), that might diminish your withdrawal symptoms. Please discuss this with your doctor. To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this. Please let us know how you're doing. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Varnadam23 Posted October 21, 2023 Author Share Posted October 21, 2023 Alto, I believe I fixed my signature according to instructions. Now onto the klonopin. I do still have a prescription for .125mg. What is the best way you would suggest achieving such a precise dose? 1/2 of the pills would be .0625. I'm not sure how to go about hitting just below that. April, '23 Went to the doctor for panic attacks and depression episode April, '23 - .25mg Klonopin 3 1/2 weeks (tapered over 5 days) May, '23 - 150mg XL Wellbutrin for 11 days (Lifted depression but caused extreme anxiety and dissociation - CT'd) Doing okay at this point May, '23 took some CBD and caused DPDR/anxiety. Went to psych who put me back on: June, '23 - .25mg Klonopin for roughly 2 weeks (tapered over the next 3-4 weeks and jumped at .065mg on July 24th) August, '23 - .25mg Zyprexa, 10mg Buspar, 7.5 mg Remron September, '23 - Off Zyprexa, Buspar, Remron September, '23 - Started 2.5 mg Lexapro for 3 days - Direct switched to 12.5mg Zoloft. Unable to Tolerate either. Discontinued. September, '23 - Gabapentin 400mg for 2 days then Remron 7.5mg for 1 week. OFF ALL MEDS Since about September 23rd Current symptoms - DPDR - Extreme anxiety/mood swings/depression/weakness/fatigue/static vision/tinnitus/cognitive impairment/eye pain, electric sensations in head Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 22, 2023 Administrator Share Posted October 22, 2023 Are you able to quarter the tablets, for doses of 0.03125mg? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Varnadam23 Posted October 22, 2023 Author Share Posted October 22, 2023 I could yes April, '23 Went to the doctor for panic attacks and depression episode April, '23 - .25mg Klonopin 3 1/2 weeks (tapered over 5 days) May, '23 - 150mg XL Wellbutrin for 11 days (Lifted depression but caused extreme anxiety and dissociation - CT'd) Doing okay at this point May, '23 took some CBD and caused DPDR/anxiety. Went to psych who put me back on: June, '23 - .25mg Klonopin for roughly 2 weeks (tapered over the next 3-4 weeks and jumped at .065mg on July 24th) August, '23 - .25mg Zyprexa, 10mg Buspar, 7.5 mg Remron September, '23 - Off Zyprexa, Buspar, Remron September, '23 - Started 2.5 mg Lexapro for 3 days - Direct switched to 12.5mg Zoloft. Unable to Tolerate either. Discontinued. September, '23 - Gabapentin 400mg for 2 days then Remron 7.5mg for 1 week. OFF ALL MEDS Since about September 23rd Current symptoms - DPDR - Extreme anxiety/mood swings/depression/weakness/fatigue/static vision/tinnitus/cognitive impairment/eye pain, electric sensations in head Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted October 22, 2023 Mentor Share Posted October 22, 2023 Hello @Varnadam23 and welcome to SA. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. You are not the first to experience problems with these drugs. I've been around long enough to have seen a lot, and what I can tell you is that you must have the mindset of never giving up. It takes time and patience to get yourself right again, but chances are in the end you'll be okay. It's going to take longer than you would like, but you're in good hands here with Altostrata and the other staff. They are the best of the best with helping people figure their way out of a psych drug mess. So hang in there. Keep reading the success stories of ones who have been through rough times and they've survived. You will too.... Warmly, Catina ❤️ Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself 2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111): 1/1: -6 | 2/1: -11 | 3/1: -16 | 4/1: -18 | 5/1: -21 | 6/1 -25 | 7/1 HOLD | 8/1 -29 | 9/7 -33 Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Never give up Holding On with Patience & Endurance Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 22, 2023 Administrator Share Posted October 22, 2023 5 hours ago, Altostrata said: Are you able to quarter the tablets, for doses of 0.03125mg? You might start with a crumb from a 0.03125mg quarter, see how that works for you. Please let us know how you're doing. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Varnadam23 Posted October 23, 2023 Author Share Posted October 23, 2023 Wait so you're saying break off a crumb FROM the quarter 0.03125 or take the whole 0.03125? April, '23 Went to the doctor for panic attacks and depression episode April, '23 - .25mg Klonopin 3 1/2 weeks (tapered over 5 days) May, '23 - 150mg XL Wellbutrin for 11 days (Lifted depression but caused extreme anxiety and dissociation - CT'd) Doing okay at this point May, '23 took some CBD and caused DPDR/anxiety. Went to psych who put me back on: June, '23 - .25mg Klonopin for roughly 2 weeks (tapered over the next 3-4 weeks and jumped at .065mg on July 24th) August, '23 - .25mg Zyprexa, 10mg Buspar, 7.5 mg Remron September, '23 - Off Zyprexa, Buspar, Remron September, '23 - Started 2.5 mg Lexapro for 3 days - Direct switched to 12.5mg Zoloft. Unable to Tolerate either. Discontinued. September, '23 - Gabapentin 400mg for 2 days then Remron 7.5mg for 1 week. OFF ALL MEDS Since about September 23rd Current symptoms - DPDR - Extreme anxiety/mood swings/depression/weakness/fatigue/static vision/tinnitus/cognitive impairment/eye pain, electric sensations in head Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 23, 2023 Administrator Share Posted October 23, 2023 1 hour ago, Varnadam23 said: break off a crumb FROM the quarter 0.03125 Do this as a test. Please report back. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
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