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Jake1950: New here; my story


Jake1590

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Hi everyone,

 

I was first prescribed SSRIs at a very young age—somewhere around 10 years old (around 2005-2008)—due to temper tantrums as a boy. It started with Fluvoxamine.

 

I was on that for at least 10 years, with dose increases at various points, ending at 150mg.


In 2022, I tried to quit cold turkey. Crashed hugely about 3 months in. Headaches, bouts of intense crying/laughing, sweating, feeling “out of it.” My doctor put me on 10mg of Lexapro. I stabilized after maybe a month and took it consistently since then.

 

Now, end of September 2023, wanting to get off the meds, my doctor recommended a 2 week taper at half dose (5mg). After 2 weeks, stop, he said. I felt good during the 2 weeks of 5mg. Then sometime during the 3rd week it hit me; anxiety, cold shivers and chills, nausea, couldn’t get out of bed, complete lack of energy, arms and legs feel heavy, shakiness, poor balance, muscle weakness, confusion, inability to focus, feeling “out of it,” light headed, out of breathe. 
 

Desperate for relief, I got back on the 10mg Lexapro. I’ve been back on for just over 2 weeks now. The worst of the symptoms are gone but I still feel light headed/“out of it” and still have pretty bad anxiety, especially in the morning when it’s borderline debilitating.

 

Has anyone experienced this? Will I find resolve soon? Any advice? 

Edited by Emonda
Name to title

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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  • Emonda changed the title to Jake1950: New here; my story
  • Administrator

Welcome to S.A. @Jake1590,

 

Thanks for including your drug signature.

 

8 hours ago, Jake1590 said:

In 2022, I tried to quit cold turkey. Crashed hugely about 3 months in. Headaches, bouts of intense crying/laughing, sweating, feeling “out of it.”

 

Sorry to hear this was your experience. You've experienced WD symptoms as a result of the CT. They are fairly common WD symptoms, other than laughing...I haven't heard of that one before. Others may have.

 

Have a read of the WD symptom checklist.

 

9 hours ago, Jake1590 said:

My doctor put me on 10mg of Lexapro. I stabilized after maybe a month and took it consistently since then.

 

Good to hear you stabilised. 

 

9 hours ago, Jake1590 said:

Now, end of September 2023, wanting to get off the meds, my doctor recommended a 2 week taper at half dose (5mg). After 2 weeks, stop, he said. I felt good during the 2 weeks of 5mg. Then sometime during the 3rd week it hit me; anxiety, cold shivers and chills, nausea, couldn’t get out of bed, complete lack of energy, arms and legs feel heavy, shakiness, poor balance, muscle weakness, confusion, inability to focus, feeling “out of it,” light headed, out of breathe. 

 

Another very typical response to effectively a CT.

 

9 hours ago, Jake1590 said:

Desperate for relief, I got back on the 10mg Lexapro. I’ve been back on for just over 2 weeks now.

 

You need time to stabilise. Don't make any more changes to your meds. In a month or two, if you are feeling 'stable', then you should consider a very slow taper. This site recommends a maximum of 10% reduction per month of the most recent dose...the reduction gets smaller and smaller every month. Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

9 hours ago, Jake1590 said:

Has anyone experienced this? Will I find resolve soon? Any advice? 

 

If you read the accounts of others here, you'll see that most of us have experienced exactly what you have. With time, stability returns.  The advice is to be patient, let stability return, then refer back to the 10% taper link above. It's worked for me and many others here. Read the success stories of others who were on Lexapro.

 

Throughout your taper, some days you’ll feel good and others not so. Sometimes, the rough patches can last days, weeks, or longer. We refer to this as the  Windows and waves pattern of stabilization. Have a read of these non-drug coping strategies to help you on your journey.

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but two that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. Add one at a time and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 


Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

Avoid alcohol. 

 

Please post any updates here in your thread. It is helpful to keep everything related to your journey in one spot. You are very welcome to jump onto someone else's page and interact with them. The encouragement members give each other on this site is wonderful to see.

 

Sing out with any questions. 

 

Once again, welcome to S.A.

 

Emonda.

Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions.

Start of taper: Jan ’22 Vortioxetine 15mg, 

End year 1: 4.5mg, 

End year 2: 2.38mg, 

Year 3: 8 Feb 2.19mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 2 May 1.83mg, 13 Jun 1.69mg, 25 Jul 1.50mg, 14 Aug 1.46mg, 3 Sep 1.43mg, 10 Sep 1.40mg, 17 Sep 1.37mg, 16 Oct 1.34mg, 23 Oct 1.32mg, 30 Oct 1.29mg

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10/24 Update.

I woke up at 6am feeling somewhat okay. Minor anxiety. Took 10mg Lexapro at about 6:30am, anxiety increase around 7am. Not sure if this is drug reaction or just a pattern of anxiety (mornings have consistently been rough for me ever since stopping and reinstating)

 

Been back on 10mg Lexapro for roughly 2.5 weeks now. As I sit at work I feel disoriented. Sort of like a lightheaded feeling but throughout my whole body. I don’t want to move. Trouble focusing, short attention span. Anxious about personal and work responsibilities. 
 

Waiting — praying — for relief.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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10/28 update

 

anxiety is not as horrible in the morning, but it is still there throughout the day. It does not disable me, but definitely drags me down. 
 

been feeling pretty low—feels like I’m in a depression. It’s been roughly 3 weeks and a couple days since reinstatement of 10mg Lexapro after an effective CT (5mg for 2 weeks, then stop).


my biggest question today is: are these symptoms of anxiety and depression a result of my nervous system trying to find balance back on the meds? Will I level out?

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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10/29/23

 

anxiety is pretty bad again. Mornings are always rough. Feels like I may be dissociating; kind of light headed—out of it. Almost feels like a dream; short term memory is shot.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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  • Administrator
On 10/25/2023 at 4:50 AM, Jake1590 said:

Minor anxiety.

 

On 10/29/2023 at 5:47 AM, Jake1590 said:

anxiety is not as horrible in the morning

 

14 hours ago, Jake1590 said:

anxiety is pretty bad again

 

Two better days followed by a less enjoyable day....windows and waves comes to mind.

 

On 10/29/2023 at 5:47 AM, Jake1590 said:

It’s been roughly 3 weeks and a couple days since reinstatement of 10mg Lexapro after an effective CT (5mg for 2 weeks, then stop).

 

It takes time for the AD to have an impact. I've taken that AD before, and for me, it was 4-6 weeks after reinstatement, but everyone is different.

 

Also, it'll take some time for your body to settle down after the effective CT.

 

On 10/29/2023 at 5:47 AM, Jake1590 said:

are these symptoms of anxiety and depression a result of my nervous system trying to find balance back on the meds? Will I level out?

 

I would expect so. Have a read of the WD symptom checklist again posted above. The symptoms will settle with time.

 

Time and continued patience is required.

 

 

Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions.

Start of taper: Jan ’22 Vortioxetine 15mg, 

End year 1: 4.5mg, 

End year 2: 2.38mg, 

Year 3: 8 Feb 2.19mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 2 May 1.83mg, 13 Jun 1.69mg, 25 Jul 1.50mg, 14 Aug 1.46mg, 3 Sep 1.43mg, 10 Sep 1.40mg, 17 Sep 1.37mg, 16 Oct 1.34mg, 23 Oct 1.32mg, 30 Oct 1.29mg

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9 hours ago, Emonda said:

Time and continued patience is required

Thank you. It may not seem like much but your input helps a lot. Still hanging in there

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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10/30 update 

 

Nearly at the 4 week mark of reinstatement on 10mg Lexapro.
 

Anxiety has essentially gone away today and is replaced by huge depression. Typical symptoms: no motivation, sad, crying.

 

Pushing through.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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11/01/23 update

 

It is pretty crazy how literally overnight my main symptom of nearly debilitating anxiety turned into major depression. Just like with the anxiety, the depression peaks in the mornings; very difficult to get out of bed and get moving. It sounds strange (sounds like an excuse) but it feels like I'm not in control in the mornings--I know getting up is good, a significant part of me wants to get up. Yet I'm pulled back into bed...Just zero motivation and energy.

 

The good news is the depression seems to fade throughout the day quicker than the anxiety, back when that was my main symptom.  By evening, I actually feel sort of "normal."  The one persistent symptom is this dream-like quality of my lived experience. It feels like I'm only 80% here. I don't feel mentally sharp, or witty.  Almost feels like this strange, low-grade high. I think this is what people call "derealization," but I'm not positive. 

 

Anyway, still pushing through. Extremely inconvenient time in my life to be dealing with this, but it is what it is. I hope to be "myself" again by December.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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24 minutes ago, Jake1590 said:

11/01/23 update

 

It is pretty crazy how literally overnight my main symptom of nearly debilitating anxiety turned into major depression. Just like with the anxiety, the depression peaks in the mornings; very difficult to get out of bed and get moving. It sounds strange (sounds like an excuse) but it feels like I'm not in control in the mornings--I know getting up is good, a significant part of me wants to get up. Yet I'm pulled back into bed...Just zero motivation and energy.

 

The good news is the depression seems to fade throughout the day quicker than the anxiety, back when that was my main symptom.  By evening, I actually feel sort of "normal."  The one persistent symptom is this dream-like quality of my lived experience. It feels like I'm only 80% here. I don't feel mentally sharp, or witty.  Almost feels like this strange, low-grade high. I think this is what people call "derealization," but I'm not positive. 

 

Anyway, still pushing through. Extremely inconvenient time in my life to be dealing with this, but it is what it is. I hope to be "myself" again by December.

It was the opposite for me. Depression turned into anxiety. Interesting to know it can go the other way. I hope you are feeling better soon, Jake.

2017 Paxil about 2-3 weeks

2021 Klonopin 3 weeks off and on and started Cymbalta 20 mg in Aug

2022 Percocet and Gabapentin for about 12 weeks after surgery

2023 April CT Cymbalta, was on 50 mg went to 30 mg and 2 months later to 20 mg for 1 week 

2023 October 1  flexeril 5-10 mg 2023 October 12 propanolol 10 mg, then increased to 20 mg. 

2023 October 22 Ativan 0.5 mg 

 

 

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16 hours ago, Serenyd said:

It was the opposite for me

Makes me curious: what was your main symptom that made you get on the drugs in the first place? For me it was depression, I’ve never felt anxiety like that before and yet it appeared first

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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Hi @Jake1590. I'm new to the site, although I have been familiar with it before joining. I have reinstated recently too. It seemed to work well within days and then it got difficult, but then it got so much better towards the end of week three and beginning of 4. I have had some life stressors, so the anxiety has come back at full pelt. Like you the morning has become an issue, whereas before it wasn't always so bad. The later evening is usually the best time. I am sorry that you are feeling so much anxiety and depression right now. I really hope that things level out for you soon. 

 

None of my posts are medical advice, just my own experience. Please see your Doctor for any medical advice.

Venlafaxine can't remember exact dose,normal starting dose(Around 2014/15-2017)
Citalopram 10mg (2018-Present - Attempted to stop taking in Aug 22, but got WD - Thought it was 'relapse') 5 months 22 from Sep to Jan Venlafaxine)

Back to 10mg Citalopram -as thought would be easier to stop than Venlaxine
Fast Taper off Citalopram (didn't know about WD) late June to Mid July 23. CT'd until late Sep 23, Stupidly took 3 Days 10mg fluoxetine on Dr advice, intended to taper as soon a stable. Dr said Fluox easier to taper( akathasia reaction) Stopped fluox about 26/9/23. 29/9/23.Reinstated at 2.5mg Citalopram. Holding until stable to taper off. 14/11/23 Reduced to 2.375mg because felt akathasia. Holding until stable.

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On 28.10.2023 at 20:47, Jake1590 said:

Aktualizacja 28.10

 

niepokój nie jest tak straszny rano, ale nadal występuje przez cały dzień. Nie osłabia mnie to, ale zdecydowanie ciągnie w dół. 
 

czuję się dość przygnębiony – czuję się, jakbym był w depresji. Minęły około 3 tygodnie i kilka dni od przywrócenia 10 mg Lexapro po skutecznej tomografii komputerowej (5 mg przez 2 tygodnie, potem przerwa).


moje najważniejsze pytanie dzisiaj brzmi: czy te objawy lęku i depresji są wynikiem prób mojego układu nerwowego, aby odzyskać równowagę na lekach? Czy się wyrównam?

Hi . I am also a victim of generic lexapro. After 3 months on withdrawal I developed WD without dyskinesias or severe tingling, but high anxiety and depression, insomnia Reinstall for 3 weeks to quit again and then came on like IBS and GERD.  Currently reinstated 0.15 mg and nothing gives . Good to hear that your stomach ok 

 

2022 escitalopram od 25 lipca 2,5 mg, 5 mg, 10 mg sierpień-grudzień- 7,5 mg, 5 mg, (1 miesiąc) 2,5 mg - C/T 
WD
2023 Krótkie przywrócenie z daty WD: 

escitalopram 25 maja – 12 czerwca 5 mg, 2,5 mg plus przerwa

Przywrócenie 24 07,23 0,5mg escitalopram, 18.08.23 0,22 escitalopram, 07.09. 0,28
Teraz 0,30 mg escitalopramu 

W zeszłym roku 6 miesięcy na escitalopramie byłem bardzo pobudzony, hipomaniakalny i nie potrzebowałem snu. 
Od lipca 2023 r. przywrócono i zmniejszono z 0,50 mg do 0,30 mg Lexapro – trudności w zasypianiu i brak snu, ból oczu i IBS. Anhedonia. 

Listopad 2023 - 0mg

Apr 2023 - worst reintroducing 0.25 mg-0.10mg escitalopram for 5 days and dropping it with terrible stomach effects if I had kept it probably wouldn't have happened 

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11/02/23 update

 

While the worst of the physical symptoms of withdrawal have subsided, and the nearly debilitating anxiety has become more tolerable, I am noticing a shift in how I perceive the world and my life.

 

Everything in my life has taken on a different, less colorful, tone. I made a huge career decision before all of this happened that inspired and motivated me. I had drive and passion for it. Now, it feels like a weight that drags me down. I am anxious about the responsibility and reluctant to apply myself.
 

I remind myself that this is likely just a psychological symptom of the reinstatement. I know this is not how I actually feel about my life….

 

What a strange experience; it’s like I am getting fooled by my body and mind, making me feel as if I don’t enjoy these things that I know I do. 
 

I wish I was never put on these drugs.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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11/04 update

 

About 4 weeks into reinstatement.

 

So tired all day long. Depressed. Difficulty handling my responsibilities. No energy or motivation.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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11/07 update

 

Week 5 of reinstatement. Depression is not so bad today, but now I’m dealing with anxiety and disorientation. My responsibilities that I used to be able to handle give me a pit in my stomach and make my legs feel weak.

 

This feeling makes it difficult to focus and think clearly. 
 

Am I almost through with this? When will I be back to normal? I’m exhausted

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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On 11/2/2023 at 11:33 AM, Jake1590 said:

Makes me curious: what was your main symptom that made you get on the drugs in the first place? For me it was depression, I’ve never felt anxiety like that before and yet it appeared first

I started taking it for depression after the loss of my daughter. In retrospect I'm not sure medicating my grief was the right move but I wanted to feel better so I could continue on with my life and be there for my other children. I have had some low level anxiety but it usually works in my favor to keep me on task, nothing that I needed medication for. 

2017 Paxil about 2-3 weeks

2021 Klonopin 3 weeks off and on and started Cymbalta 20 mg in Aug

2022 Percocet and Gabapentin for about 12 weeks after surgery

2023 April CT Cymbalta, was on 50 mg went to 30 mg and 2 months later to 20 mg for 1 week 

2023 October 1  flexeril 5-10 mg 2023 October 12 propanolol 10 mg, then increased to 20 mg. 

2023 October 22 Ativan 0.5 mg 

 

 

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43 minutes ago, Serenyd said:
On 11/2/2023 at 12:33 PM, Jake1590 said:

 

I started taking it for depression after the loss of my daughter. In retrospect I'm not sure medicating my grief was the right move but I wanted to feel better so I could continue on with my life and be there for my other children. I have had some low level anxiety but it usually works in my favor to keep me on task, nothing that I needed medication for.

I am sorry to hear this. I think people are too quick to medicate normal (unpleasant) emotions.


For me it started very young, maybe 12 years old, due to temper tantrums and feelings of overwhelm. My parents took me to a psychiatrist and that was that; been dependent on these drugs for nearly 2 decades now.

 

In a way I am envious of your choice in the matter. I wish I could’ve been given time to make my own decisions.

 

I am glad you seem to be doing okay. Thank you for posting 

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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On 11/7/2023 at 12:46 PM, Jake1590 said:

I am sorry to hear this. I think people are too quick to medicate normal (unpleasant) emotions.


For me it started very young, maybe 12 years old, due to temper tantrums and feelings of overwhelm. My parents took me to a psychiatrist and that was that; been dependent on these drugs for nearly 2 decades now.

 

In a way I am envious of your choice in the matter. I wish I could’ve been given time to make my own decisions.

 

I am glad you seem to be doing okay. Thank you for posting 

I'm very sorry. I really regret putting my son on adhd meds when he was young. He's never been the same since and they didn't help him, in fact they made him nauseated and gave him headaches. 

 

I have another friend who has been on psych medications since she was 15, and she recently found out she's autistic. I tend to be very emotional, and that's led to other people telling me I need medication when I'm really just very upset and need to grieve. It seems it is the people around us who want us medicated to be quiet and complacent. I feel like most of us who fall into this category are neurodivergent. 

2017 Paxil about 2-3 weeks

2021 Klonopin 3 weeks off and on and started Cymbalta 20 mg in Aug

2022 Percocet and Gabapentin for about 12 weeks after surgery

2023 April CT Cymbalta, was on 50 mg went to 30 mg and 2 months later to 20 mg for 1 week 

2023 October 1  flexeril 5-10 mg 2023 October 12 propanolol 10 mg, then increased to 20 mg. 

2023 October 22 Ativan 0.5 mg 

 

 

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On 11/8/2023 at 4:20 PM, Serenyd said:

I tend to be very emotional, and that's led to other people telling me I need medication when I'm really just very upset and need to grieve. It seems it is the people around us who want us medicated to be quiet and complacent

I, unfortunately, agree

 

what medications are you on right now? In what ways do they help? Are there side effects?

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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11/09 update

 

It’s been about 5.5 weeks since reinstatement of Lexapro 10mg.
 

The debilitating symptoms of anxiety and depression have largely passed, now I am dealing with waves of these symptoms. Although they’re more tolerable now, they still make me not quite myself. I want to avoid people. I feel the urge to cry often, yet I have trouble doing so.

 

I am nervous about my future with these drugs. Not sure if I’ll ever get off. I’m not sure if that’s even what’s best. Feeling pretty lost today.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

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2 hours ago, Jake1590 said:

11/09 update

 

It’s been about 5.5 weeks since reinstatement of Lexapro 10mg.
 

The debilitating symptoms of anxiety and depression have largely passed, now I am dealing with waves of these symptoms. Although they’re more tolerable now, they still make me not quite myself. I want to avoid people. I feel the urge to cry often, yet I have trouble doing so.

 

I am nervous about my future with these drugs. Not sure if I’ll ever get off. I’m not sure if that’s even what’s best. Feeling pretty lost today.

You tapered way too fast the first time. If you do it slow once you stabilize you'll be ok. 

2017 Paxil about 2-3 weeks

2021 Klonopin 3 weeks off and on and started Cymbalta 20 mg in Aug

2022 Percocet and Gabapentin for about 12 weeks after surgery

2023 April CT Cymbalta, was on 50 mg went to 30 mg and 2 months later to 20 mg for 1 week 

2023 October 1  flexeril 5-10 mg 2023 October 12 propanolol 10 mg, then increased to 20 mg. 

2023 October 22 Ativan 0.5 mg 

 

 

Link to comment
14 hours ago, Jake1590 said:

I, unfortunately, agree

 

what medications are you on right now? In what ways do they help? Are there side effects?

Propanolol to help with my heart racing, anxiety and restlessness (akithisia). Flexeril for sleep. I was groggy the next day when taking 10 mg, but 5 mg wasn't enough, so I'm taking 7.5 mg now. I'm hoping to wean these drugs in the next 3-6 months. I'm still having some w/d symptoms from CT Cymbalta in April. 

2017 Paxil about 2-3 weeks

2021 Klonopin 3 weeks off and on and started Cymbalta 20 mg in Aug

2022 Percocet and Gabapentin for about 12 weeks after surgery

2023 April CT Cymbalta, was on 50 mg went to 30 mg and 2 months later to 20 mg for 1 week 

2023 October 1  flexeril 5-10 mg 2023 October 12 propanolol 10 mg, then increased to 20 mg. 

2023 October 22 Ativan 0.5 mg 

 

 

Link to comment
On 11/10/2023 at 1:34 PM, Serenyd said:

You tapered way too fast the first time. If you do it slow once you stabilize you'll be ok. 

Thank you for your reassurance. I was told earlier that my doctor’s recommendation of 1/2 does for 2 weeks is essentially CT. 

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

Link to comment

11/11/23 update

 

About 6 weeks since reinstatement.

 

I was feeling very anxious today, and so I lied down to calm down to a meditation track. I dozed off and woke up a few hours later with really bad anxiety. Nothing seems to be helping. Feels like my skin is crawling.
 

I am praying that I will find relief soon. Idk how much more of this I can tolerate.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

Link to comment
On 11/11/2023 at 8:09 PM, Jake1590 said:

11/11/23 update

 

About 6 weeks since reinstatement.

 

I was feeling very anxious today, and so I lied down to calm down to a meditation track. I dozed off and woke up a few hours later with really bad anxiety. Nothing seems to be helping. Feels like my skin is crawling.
 

I am praying that I will find relief soon. Idk how much more of this I can tolerate.

Hey Jake, just wanted to say you’re not alone. I’m also 6 weeks into a reinstatement and was also put on these drugs at a young age. Wish I had more advice for you but I’m still struggling to get by myself right now. Hang in there.

2017 Paxil 20mg, 2019 Paxil 40mg

Jan 2021 weaned off paxil In 3 weeks

June 2021 Zoloft 25mg, July 2021 Zoloft 50mg

September 2021 Emergency taper to Prozac 10mg

June 2022 Prozac increase to 20mg

August 2022 prozac back to 10mg

June 2023 Prozac increase to 20mg

july 1st back down to 10mg due to bad reaction, July 9th off completely, September 27th reinstated 1mg, October 4th upped to 2mg of Prozac, October 13th 3mg, October 30th 4mg, November 13th 5mg, December 26th 7mg, January 10th 8mg, January 29th 10mg.

 

.25mg Xanax PRN .125mg taken 12-19 .25 taken 12/22….. supplements: Methylfolate 1700mcgs from 

11-28 to 12-20. currently taking Vitamin D 400IU daily for deficiency 

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Dw123345 said:

Hey Jake, just wanted to say you’re not alone. I’m also 6 weeks into a reinstatement and was also put on these drugs at a young age. Wish I had more advice for you but I’m still struggling to get by myself right now. Hang in there.

Thank you for your support. I read your posts, and I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been going through.

 

Ive noticed a similar thing with the intensity of emotion. Every time I’ve stopped taking an SSRI the first change that occurs is I become hyper-emotional: songs, tv shows, videos, even books can bring me to tears when this is not normally the case. Despite the heightened emotions, I am still stable and feel okay for some number of weeks. Then, the full withdrawal kicks in: extreme anxiety, chills, headache, loss of balance/coordination…. The list goes on, as I’m sure you know.

 

Reinstatement to my original dose put a stop to the major withdrawal symptoms in maybe 3 weeks or so. Once they resolved, the issue was psychological—intense anxiety like I’ve never felt before, which after a week or so suddenly turned into deep depression. All of this comes along with this strange feeling like I’m in a dream or something. I have trouble concentrating, very low motivation and energy, and generally try to avoid people wherever I can. I still don’t feel like I fully have my coordination back either. It is all very difficult.

 

Compared to where I was 5 weeks ago though, I’m definitely a lot better. Still not myself, by a long shot….. but better. I hope the same is true for you as well. 
 

Keep in touch.

 

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

Link to comment

11/13/23 update:


6 weeks into reinstatement.

 

I am anxious today. Chills have returned and I feel cold. Brain is in a fog and I feel out of it. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist today, hopefully he can help me somehow. Getting very tired of this.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Hi @Jake1590.  It makes me sad that you were put on these drugs at such a young age, but I absolutely know that you CAN live a life free from drugs.  These drugs are very powerful and remodel our brains.  Plus, you were even put on them when your brain wasn't fully developed yet.  That's why it's so imperative to taper slowly and listen to your body, holding when necessary to stabilize.  You can do this!  There have been many people on here that have been on cocktails of drugs for decades that are now drug-free and they feel great and are thriving!  It's going to be a test of your patience, but if you implement all the advice on the site I am confident that in time you will make huge improvements!  Here are some additional links that I hope will help:

 

NeuroEmotions

Brain Fog

 

Please don't convince yourself that consulting with a psychiatrist is the answer.  They are not adequately trained in safe de-prescribing or withdrawal-related issues.  They will want to add in more drugs or increase your dose, and these things could make you worse.  

 

The best thing you can do for yourself is hold where you are so you can stabilize.  I've been holding at my own current dose for two entire years, but I am glad I did it because I tapered too fast before and I had a horrible crash.  Time and patience are going to be your biggest healers.  Hang in there, it does get better!  

 

Edited by Catina7

Disclaimer:  This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only.

1994 - 2017:  Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien

2005-present:  Trazodone 50 mg 

2017:  Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 

2020 (March):  Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg)

2021 (September):  Completely crashed.  Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself

2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111):  1/1:  -6  |  2/1:  -11  |  3/1:  -16  |   4/1:  -18  |   5/1:  -21   |   6/1  -25 |   7/1  HOLD |   8/1  -29  |   9/7  -33 |   10/7  -33

Reasons for starting psych meds:  PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Other medications:  Levothyroxine 75 mcg

Supplements:  Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion   

 

Never give up  Holding On with Patience & Endurance

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Catina7 said:

Hi @Jake1590.  It makes me sad that you were put on these drugs at such a young age, but I absolutely know that you CAN live a life free from drugs.  These drugs are very powerful and remodel our brains.  Plus, you were even put on them when your brain wasn't fully developed yet.  That's why it's so imperative to taper slowly and listen to your body, holding when necessary to stabilize.  You can do this!  There have been many people on here that have been on cocktails of drugs for decades that are now drug-free and they feel great and are thriving!  It's going to be a test of your patience, but if you implement all the advice on the site I am confident that in time you will make huge improvements!  Here are some additional links that I hope will help:

 

NeuroEmotions

Brain Fog

 

Please don't convince yourself that consulting with a psychiatrist is the answer.  They are not adequately trained in safe de-prescribing or withdrawal-related issues.  They will want to add in more drugs or increase your dose, and these things could make you worse.  

 

The best thing you can do for yourself is hold where you are so you can stabilize.  I've been holding at my own current dose for two entire years, but I am glad I did it because I tapered too fast before and I had a horrible crash.  Time and patience are going to be your biggest healers.  Hang in there, it does get better!  

 

Hi Catina, I replied to Jake yesterday as I’m in a very similar situation with being put on these drugs young. Currently waiting to stabilize back on my med so I can slowly taper later on. Have you heard of success stories of people like us who were put on these drugs at a young age for long term and made it out on the other side drug free and living a decent life? I can’t seem to find any one in a similar situation myself other than Jake here and I haven’t been able to find any success stories of someone in a similar position unfortunately.

2017 Paxil 20mg, 2019 Paxil 40mg

Jan 2021 weaned off paxil In 3 weeks

June 2021 Zoloft 25mg, July 2021 Zoloft 50mg

September 2021 Emergency taper to Prozac 10mg

June 2022 Prozac increase to 20mg

August 2022 prozac back to 10mg

June 2023 Prozac increase to 20mg

july 1st back down to 10mg due to bad reaction, July 9th off completely, September 27th reinstated 1mg, October 4th upped to 2mg of Prozac, October 13th 3mg, October 30th 4mg, November 13th 5mg, December 26th 7mg, January 10th 8mg, January 29th 10mg.

 

.25mg Xanax PRN .125mg taken 12-19 .25 taken 12/22….. supplements: Methylfolate 1700mcgs from 

11-28 to 12-20. currently taking Vitamin D 400IU daily for deficiency 

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor
47 minutes ago, Dw123345 said:

Hi Catina, I replied to Jake yesterday as I’m in a very similar situation with being put on these drugs young. Currently waiting to stabilize back on my med so I can slowly taper later on. Have you heard of success stories of people like us who were put on these drugs at a young age for long term and made it out on the other side drug free and living a decent life? I can’t seem to find any one in a similar situation myself other than Jake here and I haven’t been able to find any success stories of someone in a similar position unfortunately.

 

I'm sorry for both of you that you were put on these drugs so young.  These drugs remodel our brains no matter what age we're put on them.  However, if we taper slowly and kind of "sneak" these drugs out of our system, then our brains will slowly get back to normal.    I don't know offhand of specific "success stories" of ones such as yourselves, but I think recovery is possible for everyone, even for those who were put on drugs at a young age.  Our brains instinctively know how to "re-wire" themselves back to a normal state of homeostasis.  

 

The keys to healing and recovery for everyone are time, patience, a positive mindset, and coping skills.  It's a marathon, not a sprint.  

 

Catina  🤗

Disclaimer:  This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only.

1994 - 2017:  Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien

2005-present:  Trazodone 50 mg 

2017:  Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 

2020 (March):  Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg)

2021 (September):  Completely crashed.  Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself

2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111):  1/1:  -6  |  2/1:  -11  |  3/1:  -16  |   4/1:  -18  |   5/1:  -21   |   6/1  -25 |   7/1  HOLD |   8/1  -29  |   9/7  -33 |   10/7  -33

Reasons for starting psych meds:  PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Other medications:  Levothyroxine 75 mcg

Supplements:  Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion   

 

Never give up  Holding On with Patience & Endurance

Link to comment

Hi @Catina7.

 

Thank you for your encouragement. I am torn. I am at a point in my life where my career responsibilities have peaked. I just want to get back to myself so I can move forward with my life. Not so long ago I was taking huge career steps forward, excited and hopeful. Now, I am panicked and drained. The kind of work that used to excite and motivate me now sends me into panic. I am out of it and I can’t focus on my work, which causes more anxiety.

 

This has been as close to Hell as I’ve ever been. And after 6 weeks of this I am desperate. Idk how quick I’ll be to get on another drug—I’d be more receptive to a dose change, but still kind of hesitant. 
 

I just miss me. So much. Somehow, in such a short amount of time, I have completely lost myself. My heart is broken.

2008 — Fluvoxamine. Started at 50mg, over the years increased to 150mg

 

Summer 2021 — quit Fluvoxamine 150mg cold turkey. Huge withdrawal.

 

Summer 2021 — started Escitalopram 10mg. Stabilized in about 1 month. Stayed at this dosage until…. 

 

Late Sept 2023 — tapered Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then stopped.
 

Early Oct 2023 — Huge withdrawal at around 3 weeks after taper began. Reinstated to 10mg and waiting to stabilize.

 

Late November 2023 — Mostly stabilized after 7 weeks since Reinstatement

Link to comment
44 minutes ago, Jake1590 said:

Hi @Catina7.

 

Thank you for your encouragement. I am torn. I am at a point in my life where my career responsibilities have peaked. I just want to get back to myself so I can move forward with my life. Not so long ago I was taking huge career steps forward, excited and hopeful. Now, I am panicked and drained. The kind of work that used to excite and motivate me now sends me into panic. I am out of it and I can’t focus on my work, which causes more anxiety.

 

This has been as close to Hell as I’ve ever been. And after 6 weeks of this I am desperate. Idk how quick I’ll be to get on another drug—I’d be more receptive to a dose change, but still kind of hesitant. 
 

I just miss me. So much. Somehow, in such a short amount of time, I have completely lost myself. My heart is broken.

What you just said is identical to how I feel man. Identical. I’m in almost the exact same position as you and I’m here for you. This is awful and my life is in shambles. I have a good career, a fiancé, I’m supposed to be planning a wedding, working to save for a house, and it’s all been uprooted because of this. Just know you’re not alone.

2017 Paxil 20mg, 2019 Paxil 40mg

Jan 2021 weaned off paxil In 3 weeks

June 2021 Zoloft 25mg, July 2021 Zoloft 50mg

September 2021 Emergency taper to Prozac 10mg

June 2022 Prozac increase to 20mg

August 2022 prozac back to 10mg

June 2023 Prozac increase to 20mg

july 1st back down to 10mg due to bad reaction, July 9th off completely, September 27th reinstated 1mg, October 4th upped to 2mg of Prozac, October 13th 3mg, October 30th 4mg, November 13th 5mg, December 26th 7mg, January 10th 8mg, January 29th 10mg.

 

.25mg Xanax PRN .125mg taken 12-19 .25 taken 12/22….. supplements: Methylfolate 1700mcgs from 

11-28 to 12-20. currently taking Vitamin D 400IU daily for deficiency 

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor
1 hour ago, Jake1590 said:

Hi @Catina7.

 

Thank you for your encouragement. I am torn. I am at a point in my life where my career responsibilities have peaked. I just want to get back to myself so I can move forward with my life. Not so long ago I was taking huge career steps forward, excited and hopeful. Now, I am panicked and drained. The kind of work that used to excite and motivate me now sends me into panic. I am out of it and I can’t focus on my work, which causes more anxiety.

 

This has been as close to Hell as I’ve ever been. And after 6 weeks of this I am desperate. Idk how quick I’ll be to get on another drug—I’d be more receptive to a dose change, but still kind of hesitant. 
 

I just miss me. So much. Somehow, in such a short amount of time, I have completely lost myself. My heart is broken.

 

I agree that this is something no human should have to endure.  But you can endure...and have been already.  We want a quick fix and want all these things to go away right now, I understand.  We kind of need to grow a new mindset - one of strength, endurance, patience, and hope.  Although your life may feel disrupted right now, one day all this suffering will be behind you.  

 

A couple things that might help you are reading some Success Stories and also Techniques for Managing Withdrawal.

 

Remember:  If we think we can't, then we won't........and if we think we can........then we will.

 

The ones who make it through NEVER give up so.....NEVER give up!  

 

Disclaimer:  This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only.

1994 - 2017:  Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien

2005-present:  Trazodone 50 mg 

2017:  Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 

2020 (March):  Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg)

2021 (September):  Completely crashed.  Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself

2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111):  1/1:  -6  |  2/1:  -11  |  3/1:  -16  |   4/1:  -18  |   5/1:  -21   |   6/1  -25 |   7/1  HOLD |   8/1  -29  |   9/7  -33 |   10/7  -33

Reasons for starting psych meds:  PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Other medications:  Levothyroxine 75 mcg

Supplements:  Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion   

 

Never give up  Holding On with Patience & Endurance

Link to comment
  • Mentor
1 hour ago, Dw123345 said:

 

 

Post deleted by me.

 

26 minutes ago, Catina7 said:

 

 

 

 

Edited by Catina7

Disclaimer:  This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only.

1994 - 2017:  Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien

2005-present:  Trazodone 50 mg 

2017:  Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 

2020 (March):  Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg)

2021 (September):  Completely crashed.  Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself

2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111):  1/1:  -6  |  2/1:  -11  |  3/1:  -16  |   4/1:  -18  |   5/1:  -21   |   6/1  -25 |   7/1  HOLD |   8/1  -29  |   9/7  -33 |   10/7  -33

Reasons for starting psych meds:  PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Other medications:  Levothyroxine 75 mcg

Supplements:  Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion   

 

Never give up  Holding On with Patience & Endurance

Link to comment
  • Mentor
1 hour ago, Jake1590 said:

Hi @Catina7.

 

Thank you for your encouragement. I am torn. I am at a point in my life where my career responsibilities have peaked. I just want to get back to myself so I can move forward with my life. Not so long ago I was taking huge career steps forward, excited and hopeful. Now, I am panicked and drained. The kind of work that used to excite and motivate me now sends me into panic. I am out of it and I can’t focus on my work, which causes more anxiety.

 

This has been as close to Hell as I’ve ever been. And after 6 weeks of this I am desperate. Idk how quick I’ll be to get on another drug—I’d be more receptive to a dose change, but still kind of hesitant. 
 

I just miss me. So much. Somehow, in such a short amount of time, I have completely lost myself. My heart is broken.

 

Here is another topic thread that might help:  https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/313-shame-guilt-regret-and-self-criticism/

Disclaimer:  This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only.

1994 - 2017:  Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien

2005-present:  Trazodone 50 mg 

2017:  Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 

2020 (March):  Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg)

2021 (September):  Completely crashed.  Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself

2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111):  1/1:  -6  |  2/1:  -11  |  3/1:  -16  |   4/1:  -18  |   5/1:  -21   |   6/1  -25 |   7/1  HOLD |   8/1  -29  |   9/7  -33 |   10/7  -33

Reasons for starting psych meds:  PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Other medications:  Levothyroxine 75 mcg

Supplements:  Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion   

 

Never give up  Holding On with Patience & Endurance

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