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willieverheal: Polydrugging and setbacks - trying to heal


willieverheal

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Hi! I decided to post here even though my story is complicated. 

 

My timeline:

April 2020 - floxed by Cipro

Until Feb 2021 - polydrugged with many psych meds - ADs (trintellix, escitalopram, cymbalta to which I had a horrible reaction, trazodone) pregabalin, opioids - all because I was told I had anxiety and not Cipro side effects

Jul 2022 - consider myself 95% healed 

Aug 2022 - SETBACK from clomiphene, I get pregnant, symptoms get worse but aren’t as bad as now

Nov 2022 - another SETBACK from Fosfomycin, I get terrible immediately but even worse within a few weeks, still getting worse slowly week by week with some windows in between

Feb-1st half of April 2023 - horrible wave, don’t think I will ever come out of it

2nd half of April-end of June - symptoms start lifting, I have my baby, feel like so am healing even though I was heavily medicated in labour, I start living again, fully functional - did I get better because pregnancy hormones made me so?

July 2023 - slowly symptoms start getting worse without a trigger or maybe the trigger was the meds in labour or just the loss of pregnancy hormones? 

end of July-2nd half of Aug 2023 - symptoms explode, I feel so bad I can barely handle it 

end of Aug-first 11 days of Sept 2023 - started getting better again, not great but definitely improvement and I start living again, I am fully functional

Starting Sept 12, 2023 - a horrible wave again, even more severe symptoms, symptoms getting worse every week, still in it 

 

My symptoms were not as bad as now after Cipro and psych meds, I mean they were bad but now that I have the comparison - not so much. It seems it was the clomiphene that ruined me but I am sure it wouldn’t have happened had I not been polydrugged before. I am over a year into a setback that made things 1000x worse and I haven’t seen ANY improvement. I am only worse if anything. I am barely hanging on. My baby needs me and I am a complete mess. My symptoms come and go, change, usually last for a few hours or a day and change. I stopped having full windows, I just have breaks from some of the symptoms. Evenings are usually better, most symptoms get worse or come on 30-60 minutes after getting up.

 

My whole range of symptoms:

- some form of akathisia but not the severe kind, the sensations below are what I experience with it but I don’t get terror or adrenaline surges (this I get but not often), pounding heart, etc., it feels very physical to me

- pressure, tension in body, it’s terrible, affects different parts, sometimes neck and back of head, sometimes back, sometimes legs, it feels like I am pumped with air and about to have a one kind of a jolt or a seizure but the don’t come, I am tense most of the time 

- internal burning, soul on fire, caustic sensations inside that paralyse me; this sensation is so odd, I don’t know if anyone has ever experienced that, it’s not my skin, it feels like heartburn but all over, it’s in the background, in my brain, stomach, neck, legs, arms, when it hits I can barely move as moving triggers the sensation and pain builds up, it also feels kind of electric, it terrifies me because most people only talk about skin burning 

- electricity inside, jolts from brain down and smaller shocks deep in the body, I have waves of a feeling that I can feel all these tiny nerve connections all over, it’s hard to describe it, it’s sickening, doesn’t hurt but makes me want to lose it because it’s so unnatural, it’s like I can feel nerve cells shaking

- buzzing, vibrating inside (sometimes mild in the background, sometimes deep and intense in my back, stomach, legs), some weird commotion inside me, sometimes it even feels like something moves in me or tugs me 

- weird surges (not very often) in the stomach, head that terrify me

- brain symptoms (buzzing, burning, moving, feels like a balloon is being pumped) - when that this I feel like I am going to go into a seizure

- overstimulation

- restless feelings in different muscles, travelling all over, that’s actually how it began, I was aware of some muscles but it started spreading and now that just feels way worse, like the muscle starts feeling crawly, prickly, tickly, itchy, burns, feels like it’s contracting but it isn’t, almost like they are toxic, not as severe as I have seen aka but I am terrified it will get that bad soon, it can be in any muscles in my legs, back, stomach, arms, upper back

- legs - so like a month ago something got bad in my legs and they started feeling was worse than before even though I did have sensations in them - now some days they hurt and feel like they are spasming, twitching, somethings moving inside them, sometimes it’s the butt, then thighs back or sides or front, backs of knees, calves, then comes this inner tickle or burning, vibrations, electric feeling, it’s like they are a separate being from me but it’s not making me pace, at least not yet… Sometimes they just hurt and I kind of prefer it to the creepy feelings. But it’s all sooo awful in general

- problems with sleep (most days I can sleep but some days it’s terrible), I wake up a lot because of my baby and most awakenings I feel sort of off, sometimes I am buzzing all over, sometimes just feel weird tension in general

- deep muscle/bone toxic and gnawing pain going hand in hand with the tension, burning, feels like the flu or a toothache in body

- all sorts of paresthesias (way less bothersome than the other things as I had it from Cipro and I got used to it and it somehow happens less but when it does it’s a bit intense)

- raw nerve feelings in my nerve endings like I cannot tolerate certain textures, it’s not burning or anything but feels like my nerve endings are exposed. It usually happens in my arms and hands

- as a result of the above horrible fear of my future and crying most days.

 

It’s not all at once, it comes and goes. I haven’t touched any meds since my c-section. I lived through my c-section wound infection with no antibiotics, just silver packings.

 

I just need some hope. I am really scared. Have you seen people heal from polydrugging even if they deteriorated for a longer while? Can I heal from such symptoms?

 

What worries me is that after Cipro it was getting worse for a few months and then symptoms started improving and I could see I was improving. I was so much better that I even considered pregnancy. I tolerated many supplements and even some meds. Back then I had very mild aka and paresthesia mostly. And it was all getting better slowly. I had hope. Really in July 2022 I felt 90-95% healed from the worst symptoms. I only had aka with mild buzzing and muscle sensations in arms every two weeks or so for a few hours. But after the setback in July 2022 I have only seen deterioration. And I started plummeting again this July. Not sure if it’s from all the other drugs I had to take in my c-section but possibly. However, it started getting bad again after 5-6 weeks after having my baby after being in a 2,5-month window in which I felt 60-90% better depending on a day and I was very bad between Feb and April. But I am afraid something just f’d me up so bad that it’s never going to start improving. I have seen others get bad, hit rock bottom and start improving but for me it’s like I haven’t hit rock bottom yet and I am just free falling. It’s the scariest time of my life constantly since the setback. For me it’s like instead of hitting me acutely everything just explodes after a while and symptoms build up and up ☹️ I need some support. Nobody in my real life gets it.

Edited by manymoretodays
name to topic title

April 2020 - floxed by Cipro

Pregabalin on and off for the remainder of 2020

May - Nov 2020 trazodone 

Sept-Oct 2020 - trials of different antidepressants that backfire (escitalopram for 3 weeks, trintellix for 3 weeks, adverse reaction to Cymbalta)

Feb 2021 - I quit pregabalin and never touch any psych meds ever again

July 2022 - almost healed, living my life

Aug 2022 - clomiphene makes me worse than ever, I get pregnant 

Nov 2022 - fosfomycin makes me even worse

May 2022 - medicated c-section, after a 2,5-month long window, 5-6 weeks after the c-section slowly thrown into worst hell ever, still getting worse

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  • manymoretodays changed the title to willieverheal: Polydrugging and setbacks - trying to heal
  • Administrator

Welcome, @willieverheal

 

What drugs are you taking now, what times o'clock do you take your doses, with their dosages? 

 

On 10/24/2023 at 12:17 AM, willieverheal said:

end of July-2nd half of Aug 2023 - symptoms explode, I feel so bad I can barely handle it 

end of Aug-first 11 days of Sept 2023 - started getting better again, not great but definitely improvement and I start living again, I am fully functional

Starting Sept 12, 2023 - a horrible wave again, even more severe symptoms, symptoms getting worse every week, still in it 

 

Towards the end of July, did you drink any alcohol, take antibiotics or other drugs, have covid? Did any of these happen in early September?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi! I am not on anything. Last psych meds in Feb 2021 because they made me sick. But I was recovering from that. Zero meds at this point. I did not take anything in July. No alcohol. No illness. The last meds ever were in May during and after labour. I was wondering if it is because my hormones dropped. But it’s just getting worse and worse still. Like now, in October, I am worse than in August.

April 2020 - floxed by Cipro

Pregabalin on and off for the remainder of 2020

May - Nov 2020 trazodone 

Sept-Oct 2020 - trials of different antidepressants that backfire (escitalopram for 3 weeks, trintellix for 3 weeks, adverse reaction to Cymbalta)

Feb 2021 - I quit pregabalin and never touch any psych meds ever again

July 2022 - almost healed, living my life

Aug 2022 - clomiphene makes me worse than ever, I get pregnant 

Nov 2022 - fosfomycin makes me even worse

May 2022 - medicated c-section, after a 2,5-month long window, 5-6 weeks after the c-section slowly thrown into worst hell ever, still getting worse

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  • Administrator

It could be that you had a dramatic adverse reaction to clomiphene and fosfomycin and perhaps some drugs you were given for your c-section. But none of these are psychiatric drugs, it does not appear you have withdrawal syndrome, and we can't tell you how to fix this.

 

It may also be that you have some hormonal irregularity that's causing these anxiety surges. You might look at @Ma205's Intro topic.

 

Or you could have a vitamin deficiency or thyroid problem.

 

Among those with these odd neurological symptoms, many find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Please let us know how you’re doing.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks. Yeah I know it’s not psych meds now but it seems I have original aka from psych drugs because it came on after them but now it got retriggered more severely by unrelated meds. Unfortunately I react to synthetic supplements, magnesium gives me horrible issues and ramps up aka. I am very sensitized.

April 2020 - floxed by Cipro

Pregabalin on and off for the remainder of 2020

May - Nov 2020 trazodone 

Sept-Oct 2020 - trials of different antidepressants that backfire (escitalopram for 3 weeks, trintellix for 3 weeks, adverse reaction to Cymbalta)

Feb 2021 - I quit pregabalin and never touch any psych meds ever again

July 2022 - almost healed, living my life

Aug 2022 - clomiphene makes me worse than ever, I get pregnant 

Nov 2022 - fosfomycin makes me even worse

May 2022 - medicated c-section, after a 2,5-month long window, 5-6 weeks after the c-section slowly thrown into worst hell ever, still getting worse

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  • Administrator

I'm sorry, we provide peer support for tapering psychiatric drugs and withdrawal syndrome, not for adverse effects of every drug there is, even akathisia from those drugs. Maybe you want to contact the Akathisia Alliance.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I see, sorry if I don’t fit here. I am just looking for similar stories to mine and have found some already. I obviously know about the alliance and the fb group but that’s the most triggering place on the internet there is, so I avoid it. 
Thank you for your time anyway and sorry for the trouble. 

April 2020 - floxed by Cipro

Pregabalin on and off for the remainder of 2020

May - Nov 2020 trazodone 

Sept-Oct 2020 - trials of different antidepressants that backfire (escitalopram for 3 weeks, trintellix for 3 weeks, adverse reaction to Cymbalta)

Feb 2021 - I quit pregabalin and never touch any psych meds ever again

July 2022 - almost healed, living my life

Aug 2022 - clomiphene makes me worse than ever, I get pregnant 

Nov 2022 - fosfomycin makes me even worse

May 2022 - medicated c-section, after a 2,5-month long window, 5-6 weeks after the c-section slowly thrown into worst hell ever, still getting worse

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Very sorry, we cannot offer general medical care or peer support for all drug-related conditions.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 2 weeks later...

@willieverheal Hi. You are welcome to read my thread to see how I dealt with akathisia.  I used heat.  Some people take cold showers, but heat always worked for me.  Hot baths, hot showers, a heated shoulder wrap that I put in the microwave, and putting my feet in hot water.  
 

With a baby, you can’t be in the bath all the time, of course.  (Those baby bouncers — be careful — there have been a lot of news articles about them.). So, what to do? The microwaveable shoulder wrap helps some, but putting my feet in hot water helped, too, at the same time.  There are electric foot spas.   I didn’t have one, so I don’t know how hot they get, but you could use an electric kettle to pour extra hot water in the foot spa.  Also, there are some stick-on patches that heat up when they are taken out of the package.  These are sold for muscle aches and menstruation cramps.  
 

So, if heat helps you, I would get a foot spa, an electric kettle, and a large, microwaveable shoulder wrap.  


That feeling of aka that does not involve pacing — that’s what I had, and it is torture.  
 

I’m wondering if there is something you are being exposed to that is causing you to “get worse.”  I had a hard time with magnesium, too, but I tried it at the dose recommended on the bottle, and it was way too much.  What else might be affecting you?  Have you been tested for diabetes?  Is something fermenting in your stomach, perhaps? Try to think of what you eat and drink, and consider that you could be sensitive to something  unexpected.

 

Feel free to ask questions or write on my thread.  I don’t check back very often, but I try to more often.  Being sick while having a 5 month old, I’ve been there.
 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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3 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

@willieverheal Hi. You are welcome to read my thread to see how I dealt with akathisia.  I used heat.  Some people take cold showers, but heat always worked for me.  Hot baths, hot showers, a heated shoulder wrap that I put in the microwave, and putting my feet in hot water.  
 

With a baby, you can’t be in the bath all the time, of course.  (Those baby bouncers — be careful — there have been a lot of news articles about them.). So, what to do? The microwaveable shoulder wrap helps some, but putting my feet in hot water helped, too, at the same time.  There are electric foot spas.   I didn’t have one, so I don’t know how hot they get, but you could use an electric kettle to pour extra hot water in the foot spa.  Also, there are some stick-on patches that heat up when they are taken out of the package.  These are sold for muscle aches and menstruation cramps.  
 

So, if heat helps you, I would get a foot spa, an electric kettle, and a large, microwaveable shoulder wrap.  


That feeling of aka that does not involve pacing — that’s what I had, and it is torture.  
 

I’m wondering if there is something you are being exposed to that is causing you to “get worse.”  I had a hard time with magnesium, too, but I tried it at the dose recommended on the bottle, and it was way too much.  What else might be affecting you?  Have you been tested for diabetes?  Is something fermenting in your stomach, perhaps? Try to think of what you eat and drink, and consider that you could be sensitive to something  unexpected.

 

Feel free to ask questions or write on my thread.  I don’t check back very often, but I try to more often.  Being sick while having a 5 month old, I’ve been there.
 

Rosetta


Thanks for your tips! I don’t have any diagnosed health conditions. I don’t take any supplements. I have no idea about my diet. I eat normally I would say, just avoid MSG and other high suspicious preservatives, aspartame, caffeine. 
I go in and out of waves, I mean it’s mostly a wave but symptoms change and for example last week I had a random 60-90% window for 5 days. It was such a bliss! 

April 2020 - floxed by Cipro

Pregabalin on and off for the remainder of 2020

May - Nov 2020 trazodone 

Sept-Oct 2020 - trials of different antidepressants that backfire (escitalopram for 3 weeks, trintellix for 3 weeks, adverse reaction to Cymbalta)

Feb 2021 - I quit pregabalin and never touch any psych meds ever again

July 2022 - almost healed, living my life

Aug 2022 - clomiphene makes me worse than ever, I get pregnant 

Nov 2022 - fosfomycin makes me even worse

May 2022 - medicated c-section, after a 2,5-month long window, 5-6 weeks after the c-section slowly thrown into worst hell ever, still getting worse

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi @willieverheal, I’m really sorry to hear that you get Akathisia. I’ve had it too, and if I taper too quickly it will come back again. It’s good to see that you’re getting windows, that shows that our brains have an amazing capacity to heal. They are always trying hard to get back to some kind of equilibrium. 
 

I hope you get many more windows soon, sending hugs🤗
 

 

Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg. 2020➡️5.60 to 4.80. 2021➡️4.60 to 4.0.  2022➡️3.95 to 3.55. 2023➡️ From 3.50 to 3.25.  2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️May1=3.0✔️ June7=3mg✔️ July 15= 2.95✔️ This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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  • 8 months later...

How are you feeling now?

May 2019 started lexapro 2.5 mg; 2020 went to every other day; 2021 beginning of Mar, tried to stop but had insomnia; Mar 30, 2021 reinstated 1.25 ev other day, WD symptoms, not enough

April 19, 2021 started liquid, .85 mg/day; May 1, 2021 .8 mg, May 6 .75 mg; June 6 .7 mg, June 20 .65mg, June 30  .6mg, Jul 24 .55 mg, Oct 17 .5 mg, Dec 5- .45 mg; Jan 26, 2022- 4mg,  April 18- .375 ; April 24- .35; April 29- .3; Jun 12- .25 mg; Jun 28- .2 lex; Sept- .15 mg, Nov .1- long hold, never got better

June ‘23- PPPD started 🙁, Jun- .09, Jul- .08, Oct- .07, Dec- .06, Jan ‘24- .05! 
Played around with my dose since Feb & became very unstable w/ extreme acute WD symptoms. Holding @ .06 since May 13.

Taking Magnesium, melatonin, & electrolytes 

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