Juls: Tapering Zoloft

[Juls]

When I was 19 I had a terrible break down. Abusive boyfriend, fear of parents, fear of life. I ended up in the hospital. Just a regular hospital under the care of my gyno for what appeared to be anorexia nervousa (however it's spelled). That doctor was smart. He said i was too young for pych meds and had me to start taking b complex. I slowly began to return to normal. If I had ever been normal that is. I had always had a low depression i felt like. I turned to drinking and smoking for social validation and this carried me through college and through my 20's. When I was 28 I left my job to stay home with my baby. My husband and I had just bought a house  but thought is was too important to keep our child close. After some depression surrounding a miscarriage, we had a second beautiful son. The isolation was not good. I remember watching Oprah and she was talking about lead in window blinds and how bad the was for our children. I looked over at the blinds in my bedroom with the teeth prints in them from my son standing there waving goodbye to his dad in the mornings. That's when the hot flash of anxiety hit and did not leave. I was testing everything for lead and yes it was everywhere. Then the asbestos. Then on the news, ecoli in the apple juice and meat then worst of all was the women who caused harm to their own children though pychosis. Was I that crazy? Could I be the danger to my babies??  I was sooo terrified!!

 

A doctor put me on xanax and I was told to take it when I needed it. Of course I needed it constantly. For around 2 months I lived in a stupor.  Then one day I said forget this and stopped it ct.  I was then put on Effexor. Never great but not as anxious. So a different doctor(because the one prescribing me xanax was in a drug treatment facility) added a few things when I mentioned my fears. He added wellbutrin, resperdal because I must be bipolar, which I only took one of thank Heavens, then zyprexa. My world turned upside down again. It was a horrific spiral for several months before I was admitted to a Behavioural Health center. I stayed there for 3 weeks  while they ct me off all meds then put me back on zoloft and klonopin. When I left I have to say I was feeling better. It only improved over the following weeks. I even called my klonopin my Hakuna Matata pill. 

 

For 17 years all was well, I thought. My mother passed and I had to take care of my dad who had dementia during lockdown. My dad then passed and I got sick after his funeral. The doctor told me if I didn't take the med Levaquin for my pnuemonia I developed after the virus, then she would just have to give it to me intravenously when I was admitted to the hospital. So I took it and it chemically ct me off klonopin. I was a mad woman. Terrified and holding the grief from losing my parents and fearing going down that rabbit hole again 17 years earlier. I started to even out a few months later and decided to come off meds. I found Benzo buddies and Benzo warriors on fb and started my klonopin taper. That had only taken a year since I had only ever been on .5mg.  That was two years ago.

 

In March I began my Zoloft taper. 100 mg. will take a whole lot longer. I'm down to 53mg now and the bottom has fallen out. My therapist and sister asked me to go back up to 75 but they don't understand. And now I can't understand. I'm pretty frightened that my life is just  circling back to those terrors except this time it's all new fears. I hope I didn't share too much but I wanted to let you know my history. Have I got a chance? Sometimes I think I should just stay on it. I'm 57 and would be tapering maybe 8 more years.

 

I could really use some friends. I feel so alone in this. Although my family is great none of them have any idea what it's like.

 

Thank you,

 

Edited November 4 by Emonda
As requested by member

[LotusRising]

Hi @Juls and welcome to SA,

 

It sounds like you've been through a lot over the years. Please don't feel like you're alone - there's a whole community here feeling the same way. Could you help us out by creating a signature How to Create a Signature.

 

What has been the speed of your taper? Here at SA, we recommend reducing no more than 10% of your previous dose each month.

 

Please see these links:

 

Why taper by 10%

 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Keep it simple, slow and stable

 

2 hours ago, Juls said:

I'm down to 53mg now and the bottom has fallen out

 

What's happening right now? If you're experiencing symptoms, it's likely a good idea to hold.

[Juls]

Hi LotusRising and thank you.

I've been microtapering 100mg. zoloft since March. I've been doing 10% cut every month but I'm afraid that may be too much of a cut.

I had some dental work done 3 weeks ago and they gave me epinephrine, which I told them not to. Then I took amoxicillin, only 4 doses, and I had to stop. I was afraid that had triggered something. 

I've been feeling very out of my head. Filled with terror. My muscles are sore and weak from inner tremors. I don't feel safe, comfortable or relaxed in my own skin. I don't know what to do. I'm always coming up with something else to scare me in my mind. I don't know what to do.

I've been holding for 3 weeks. I was thinking of going up in dose just a little.

[LotusRising]

Thanks so much for updating your signature.

 

That's great that you've already been doing the 10%.

 

Have you considered reducing your cuts to 5% to see if that's more manageable?

 

1 hour ago, Juls said:

I've been feeling very out of my head. Filled with terror. My muscles are sore and weak from inner tremors.

 

When did these symptoms start? Did they coincide with the dental work? Any stress could definitely set your symptoms off. I would definitely hold until symptoms settle. 

[Juls]

 I can't have epinephrine because of the anxiety reaction. I start shaking and it's difficult to calm down. The dental surgeon said he didn't have anything without it as he proceeded to give me the shot. A week later the pain was hard to manage and my dentist determined it was dry socket so he packed my socket and it was so painful I was coming out of the chair and crying. That night my dog got so sick I was up with her a lot. The next day we spent at the vet's office only to find out she may have caught something from my chickens. I had to do a lot of cleaning and I was catastrophying the whole time. The next day I started the amoxicillin. That's when the real anxiety and panic started. The invisible tiger fear.   4 doses and I had horrible panic. Not sure it was that or if it was already brewing from all the stress. But i had a reaction to the same  med earlier in the year. But the intensity of the anxiety has increased day by day.

 

I tried to get out last Saturday with friends. We played badmitten and I felt so worked up. The next day, the fatigue was unbearable, I started to believe I had a brain infection from the extraction. Ugh... 

Yes I think I will be trying the 5% instead. 

[LotusRising]

@Juls

 

Sorry, that sounds like a lot of stressors all at one time! It's no surprise that you've had an uptick in symptoms. I think holding until symptoms pass is a good idea and then see how you do with the 5%.

 

I hope your dog is doing better  

[Juls]

Just spoke with my psy doc and she wants me back at 100. I told her no. She then said 75 and buspar. But I'm afraid of the combo. and I don't want to be kindled. I'm thinking of just going back to 60 to see if that helps. Do you think that's too much?

 

[LotusRising]

I wouldn't add in any other drugs if you can help it. It's confusing to your CNS and could destabilize you further. You would also have no idea what symptom was WD related, or a side effect of the new drug.

 

Personally, I had a terrible reaction to buspar and it's what landed me in the situation I'm in.  

 

When did you make the reduction from 60mg - 54mg? Looks like in August some time? Your body will have already adapted to the lower dose, so if you decide to updose, you might want to try a smaller amount, maybe even as little as 2mg. But, ultimately, only you can decide what your body needs right now. 

 

Have you taken a look at any of the non-drug coping resources?

 

 

[Juls]

Oh no I just took the 61. Is that bad? I tried to figure it out in my head and miscalculated. I weighed my dosage at .19 and took it. ugh

[Juls]

1 hour ago, LotusRising said:

When did you make the reduction from 60mg - 54mg? Looks like in August some time? Your body will have already adapted to the lower dose, so if you decide to updose, you might want to try a smaller amount, maybe even as little as 2mg. But, ultimately, only you can decide what your body needs right now. 

I'm sorry I need to change my signature. I was going back over my notes and I held in there. It's been 45 days since I was at 60

[LotusRising]

Since you've already taken it, I would try not to stress about it  

 

How did you feel after taking it?

 

 

 

[Juls]

I'm a bit jittery, very tired, no scary thoughts though. Kinda feel like a hangover.

[LotusRising]

Are these new feelings since taking the increased dose?

 

It's possible that dose might be too strong for you since your CNS will have adapted to the lower dose.

Edited October 26, 2023 by LotusRising

[Juls]

These meds are crazy. Wonder if I should just go down to 57 tomorrow or stay here?

[LotusRising]

Yes they're certainly a lot stronger than we think too!

 

That might be a good idea. I would hold there for a couple weeks if that's what you decide.

[Juls]

I'm still holding at 60 and it's no better yet. Wednesday will be 2 weeks. I added in 100mg of mag glicenate 

[LotusRising]

What symptoms are you still experiencing? 

 

You updosed to 60mg 2 weeks ago? I'm just rereading your thread and I'm confused - what dose did you increase from? Could you please update your signature with the changes?

 

 

[Juls]

 

Still jittery, mind is all over the place. I'm sorry, I checked in but didn't see your reply until today. I don't know why it didn't show up in notifications. 

I increased to 60 mg from 54 mg. I was really hoping this would be better than my klonopin taper.. I'm wondering if I'll be on this forever. I'm pretty scared atm.

[LotusRising]

As I mentioned previously, it may be that your dose is too high since your body will have already adjusted to that lower dose.

 

Are your symptoms better or worse since going up to 60mg?

[Juls]

Not much different. 

[Juls]

It's been almost 3 weeks since going back up to 60 mg. I'm feeling very discouraged. The OCD has me feeling really bad every morning, every day it's a new fear. I'm just wondering if I even need to get off this. It has me doubting my resolve every morning. I'm starting to feel closed off from others and that really scares me. I don't know what to do. What will help.

[Catina7]

Hi @Juls, I just wanted to stop by and say hello to you.  I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time.  Make sure you're cutting out caffeine and sugar as both of those things can trigger anxiety.  Have you ever tried CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) for your scary thoughts and fears?  It can be so beneficial.  Most everything we fear will never happen!

 

Don't give up or lose heart about being able to get off the Zoloft.  This journey is a marathon, not a sprint, and we are all here to support you!  You may need to hold for a long time in order to stabilize.  I've been holding at my current dose for two entire years in order to stabilize.

 

You can do this!  Trust the process and in the end you'll be glad you did.  Healing will happen if you remain patient and listen to your body.  Sending you much love and healing thoughts!

 

Catina ❤️

[Juls]

Catina, thank you so much for your response. You are very encouraging. I really appreciate it. I really needed it for sure. My GP gave me a prescription for Hydoxyzine for emergencies. I'm a bit worried to add in anything else. I guess it's good to have if it gets really bad though

[Catina7]

6 minutes ago, Juls said:

Catina, thank you so much for your response. You are very encouraging. I really appreciate it. I really needed it for sure. My GP gave me a prescription for Hydoxyzine for emergencies. I'm a bit worried to add in anything else. I guess it's good to have if it gets really bad though

 

You're more than welcome!  We're all in this together.  Be careful with adding in extra drugs.  I took Hydroxyzine for awhile and it made the withdrawal symptoms worse, but everyone is different.  When I need extra help sleeping I'm able to tolerate a Benadryl, but I just take it every once in a great while.  

 

The safest thing to do is to find non-drug ways to manage your anxiety.  There are soooo many tips and tricks.  Do some research on the site and find some things that you can implement.  

[Juls]

It has now been 3 1/2 weeks since i updosed to 60mg. from 54mg. I'm worried that this is my original symptoms returned. Thinking back I did notice over the past few months my thinking was changing. I was getting concerned over things I normally could ignore. Was this change in thinking my old stuff coming back to bite me after 19 years? It's very scary.

[Juls]

Developed a bad UTI, was strange, no pain but lots of pressure and blood. Got a Rocephin shot and a script for Bactrim. Feeling better today but woozy. Haven't started the Bactrim yet. Just a bit nervous about it. I did take it in June so it might be okay. Just nervous about all of it these days. Still holding at 60. Was feeling much better until this. Hope it doesn't set me back.

[Juls]

Started the Bactrim for UTI. I pray that any side effects will leave once I finish the antibiotic. Anyone had experience with this? 

[littlebird]

Antibiotics throw me off, in the past I've taken probiotics specially made for use with antibiotics to keep my system balanced. It helped! 

[Catina7]

12 hours ago, Juls said:

Started the Bactrim for UTI. I pray that any side effects will leave once I finish the antibiotic. Anyone had experience with this? 

 

I took Macrobid and then Amoxicillin recently for a UTI and had no issues whatsoever.  

[Juls]

That's great Cat. Amoxicillin kinda revved up my anxiety I thought. Tried it twice this year but maybe it was just the anxiety.  I do feel more anxious with the Bactrim but just going to go with it I guess. Maybe it will calm down once it's stopped. I normally take Epsom salt baths at night but read you shouldn't if you have a uti. I had the leg and shoulder jerks pretty bad last night so thought I might risk the bath tonight. 

[Juls]

Been a minute since was here. After going back up to 60 mg. last October 25, I restarted my taper very, very slowly. I'm now at 51mg and hit another wall. Not sure why. It seems my brain doesn't want me at 50 mg. Now I'm questioning why I'm doing this. Very depressed and anxious.  Friends have told me I'm in tolerance and this confuses me. I thought if we held when we developed symptoms, it would give our brain time to heal a bit before we continue. Can anyone explain this to me? TIA

[Juls]

I've been tapering zoloft since the beginning of last year. This time last year I had reached 54mg. down from 100 and hit a wall. I up dosed to 60mg. Took 3 months but I finally stabilized and resumed my taper in January going very slowly. I'm now at 51 mg and have hit another wall. I've been on this dose for a month now and am frustrated that it has not let up. I am trying to just hang in there but it is so frustrating. Any advice or encouragement would be helpful. Also I would add I was not having problems taking the med. I had just been on for 20 years and after a benzo taper decided to come off this one too. TIA

[getofflex]

I understand how frustrating it can be to hit a wall in tapering!  It sounds like your brain just needs a break from tapering for a while.  Some of us have to go slower than others.  When I was tapering I did a 5 month hold, and it was a really great thing for me.  I would suggest that you stick with the 51 mg dose for several months.  If you give yourself a nice long break, your brain will have a chance to catch up to all the dose reductions you have done, and will be ready to taper when you resume tapering.  The best way to go is to hold, and wait until you are stable.  Then, still hold for a minimum  of 2 more weeks, or even longer, to allow your brain to fully and completely adjust to your dose of 51 mg.  

 

Please be sure to completely avoid alcohol and any other mid altering substances!  Have you had any major changes, stressors, illnesses, etc?  This can also cause problems.  

 

Congratulations for getting off of the Klonopin!  This is a big accomplishment!  

 

By the way, we each get only 1 thread to record our tapering and recovery journey.  This prevents confusion and duplication of efforts, and keeps your complete history all in one place.  If you fail to get an answer to your questions, you can always click the 3 dots in the upper right, and click report to bring your question to the attention of the staff.  

Edited November 4 by getofflex

[Juls]

Thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate it.