Kerid

[kerid]

May 2024 be a year of healing! At the end of April 2023 I had a total knee replacement.  10 weeks later out of the blue came adrenaline surges.  I did not understand what was happening to me.  My stomach shut down and I couldn't sleep from all the surges. When I reflect I think I was in a very sensitive state from being on an antibiotic and aspirin and nsaids for 10 weeks.  I have always had a difficult time with meds. I went to my doctor and she put me on Zoloft to increase my serotonin.  I was reluctant but trusted the doctor.  After 13 days I was lying on my couch a human zombie.  I didn't want to die but if I did I was ok with it.  I had so many side effects.  My doctor wanted me to push through but I said no.  I did not know anything about tapering so in 5 more days I was in WD.  Though I didn't know it.  I had some ok days then the adrenaline surges and insomnia and intrusive thoughts hit me. 

 

I ended up in a facility because I was scared and thought I needed a new med.  They put me on effexor.  Then I descended into the darkest pit.  After 19 days I got out and my new doctor had me do a quick 8 day taper.  During the taper/ CT I found myself in the worst mental state of my life.  I was scared of everything but knew I would not go on another med.  I found SA and the success stories have been a life line.  I knew nothing about this only that a friend had been through something similar and made it through.  I cannot believe what my body and mind have endured the last 4 months. 

 

I came here because I need some peer support.  My husband has been a rock telling me I will heal everytime the depression crashes over me and I have a hard time believing this is my life.  Which is almost every day.  I have had a few days where who I am is stronger than the symptoms and I can feel a little hope.  Usually in the evenings there is a break.  Only had a few minutes/ hours where I felt almost myself.  I'm looking for positive support where we can commiserate but ultimately there is a building up of each other.  I am trying to accept this healing and would like to make a friend or two that gets it.  I still have some very debilitating days.  My belief in God and my husband have held me when I wanted to let go.  I will add a signature but I need to go through my journals which triggers.  Wishing and wanting for everyone peace and love and healing!

[kerid]

23 minutes ago, kerid said:

May 2024 be a year of healing! At the end of April 2023 I had a total knee replacement.  10 weeks later out of the blue came adrenaline surges.  I did not understand what was happening to me.  My stomach shut down and I couldn't sleep from all the surges. When I reflect I think I was in a very sensitive state from being on an antibiotic and aspirin and nsaids for 10 weeks.  I have always had a difficult time with meds. I went to my doctor and she put me on Zoloft to increase my serotonin.  I was reluctant but trusted the doctor.  After 13 days I was lying on my couch a human zombie.  I didn't want to die but if I did I was ok with it.  I had so many side effects.  My doctor wanted me to push through but I said no.  I did not know anything about tapering so in 5 more days I was in WD.  Though I didn't know it.  I had some ok days then the adrenaline surges and insomnia and intrusive thoughts hit me. 

 

I ended up in a facility because I was scared and thought I needed a new med.  They put me on effexor.  Then I descended into the darkest pit.  After 19 days I got out and my new doctor had me do a quick 8 day taper.  During the taper/ CT I found myself in the worst mental state of my life.  I was scared of everything but knew I would not go on another med.  I found SA and the success stories have been a life line.  I knew nothing about this only that a friend had been through something similar and made it through.  I cannot believe what my body and mind have endured the last 4 months. 

 

I came here because I need some peer support.  My husband has been a rock telling me I will heal everytime the depression crashes over me and I have a hard time believing this is my life.  Which is almost every day.  I have had a few days where who I am is stronger than the symptoms and I can feel a little hope.  Usually in the evenings there is a break.  Only had a few minutes/ hours where I felt almost myself.  I'm looking for positive support where we can commiserate but ultimately there is a building up of each other.  I am trying to accept this healing and would like to make a friend or two that gets it.  I still have some very debilitating days.  My belief in God and my husband have held me when I wanted to let go.  I will add a signature but I need to go through my journals which triggers.  Wishing and wanting for everyone peace and love and healing!

There is some good in this world and it is worth fighting for.  J.R.R. Tolkien 

[KenA]

Welcome to SurvivingAntidepressants Kerid. As someone who went through a CT, I can relate to what you are going through. Let me assure you that it does get better. It takes time, but given enough of it, you will make it through this. Here is some information for you to read through.

 

CREATING A SIGNATURE

 

Summarize your drug history in your signature

 

Have I done permanent damage to my brain?

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

"Is it always going to be like this?"

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

What is happening in your brain?

 

 

 

I only took a few doses. How can I have withdrawal symptoms??

 

Immediate adverse reactions to ADs after only a few doses

 

SUPPLEMENTS

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium (glycinate is a good form) and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

This is your introduction topic -- the place for you to ask questions, record symptoms, share your progress, and connect with other members of the SA community.  I hope you’ll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation.  I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but I am glad that you found us.

[Rhernan]

Hi, how have you been getting along? I too ended up on a benzo and AD after a knee surgery that left me unable go sleep because of surges as well.  This was approx 8 years ago.  During these 8 years I have tapered off the benzo and now AD, but I am completely incapacitated with withdrawals.  I wouldn’t mind chatting.

[kerid]

Hey Rhernon, I'm so sorry this happened to you.  I hate that they threw meds at us instead of realizing it was the surgery and anesthesia.  Have you been incapacitated for the last 8 years? Or just since your last taper.  I have had every symptom imaginable and have had some very dark days.  Last night I had a rough time.  I thought my brain was going crazy.  Can't even explain it.  If you want to message me I'm good with that.  I'm not sure how to tag you in this post to make sure you get notified.  I try not to wander too much around the forum.   I'm not sure what your beliefs are but I will keep you in my prayers.  Feel free to ask me anything. 

[Rhernan]

34 minutes ago, kerid said:

Hey Rhernon, I'm so sorry this happened to you.  I hate that they threw meds at us instead of realizing it was the surgery and anesthesia.  Have you been incapacitated for the last 8 years? Or just since your last taper.  I have had every symptom imaginable and have had some very dark days.  Last night I had a rough time.  I thought my brain was going crazy.  Can't even explain it.  If you want to message me I'm good with that.  I'm not sure how to tag you in this post to make sure you get notified.  I try not to wander too much around the forum.   I'm not sure what your beliefs are but I will keep you in my prayers.  Feel free to ask me anything. 

Hi!  You and me sound exactly alike with our symptoms!  A lot of head stuff along with the normal WD things.  
 

I haven’t been living this badly for 8 years, but it’s been a struggle for sure.  Things didn’t get this bad though until the last 4 months and it’s unfortunately progressively gotten worse.

 

how are your nights, mine are full of toxic sleep and panic and terror…it’s very weird.  The only thing that helps is Tylenol which is weird.

 

I’d love to chat, you can message me through here or email.  I don’t know if I’m allowed to share it, but it’s rhernandez17@att.net.  Maybe then we can reach out to each other by phone/zoom if your able to do that.

[kerid]

Rhernan I emailed you so if they delete it no worries.  

[KenA]

33 minutes ago, Rhernan said:

 I don’t know if I’m allowed to share it, but it’s rhernandez17@att.net

You are allowed to share if you wish to do so

[Dutchsarah]

Hi @kerid

 

You symptoms and journey sound similar to mine. I was on Zoloft for a total of 6 weeks and I have been dealing with withdrawals symptom for many months now. I'm definitely improving but man, it's a long and horrible journey with so much doubt along the way. I'm from the Nether and my English is not perfect but I would love to chat. 

Wishing you lots of healing. 

 

[kerid]

When I first came to SA I was desperate for information because I knew nothing about anything regarding these meds and withdrawal.  I came away afraid my journey was going to be years long.  When I went to 0 off of the effexor I hit the ground with debilitating mental and physical symptoms. I thought I was in hell.   There was no lag time from 0 to symptoms and no time between when the mental and physical symptoms activated.  I was surviving one minute at a time.  

 

This last month I found, Baylissa, the lovely grind, and Angie Peacock.  While all three experienced protracted withdrawal they made it very clear that this was the exception.  That most people heal in 6 to 18 months.  Everyone is different and no two journeys are the same.  This was like water to my parched tongue.  I needed the hope that yes I might not heal this month but the possibility I could.

 

I read Ken's thread from SA over and over again.  He had a way of being completely honest with the brutality of the symptoms yet still remained positive.  This let me know my symptoms were withdrawal but that things will get better.  

 

I am beginning my 6 month off meds.  Last month was different.  Most days the symptoms were less intense but I still cycled through all of them with a few days being worse.   I have not felt joy or happiness since I was prescribed these meds last July.  I am not sure if I have windows but even then I have learned from Baylissa's book that everything could just leave in a couple weeks.  

 

For me I found I need the positive.  I need the hope.  I am thankful I found a friend or two where we can check in on each other and pray for one another.  Spread the good news.  I wish there were more success stories with all time frames.  

 

Peace and love and healing one minute at a time.