Greet: Pssd and anhedonia after many different meds

[Greet]

My horrific story started with cymbalta that killed my emotions overnight. I wasndepressed but in burn-out.  After 2 pills I stopped it, but the damage was done. I got terrible akathisia.  I recovered my ability to cry after 2 months but I felt suicidal.  So then I went on and off all sorts of meds (sertraline,  trintellix,  agomelatine, venlafaxine, parnate, mirtazapine...), I even had ect's and tms. They all made me more apathetic, caused severe side-effects,physically and mentally.. and damaged me more. 10 months ago I stopped my last med. Even after a low dose,  I don't stabilise. I get more depressed and I am exhausted of insomnia and restlessness. I don't recover my emotions either. I feel disconnected to the world.  No hug or nice words can comfort me. I have no dopalin response on alcohol (the few times I drank something. I became a hermit, lost my job and my friends. I can't feel love or connection to my husband,  daughters, parents..  I have severe health problems and developed autoimmune antibodies which make me sick and hold me from healing. I have no motivation or focus to do anything. I live like a ghost and feel disconnected.  No joy in more than 3,5 years, only suffering. 

I wonder if reinstating a microdose (1mg) of Trintellix (only med I could bare physically) can stabilise my cns so that my emotions can return or will I just make my numbness worse? I need to do something because I can't go on anymore like this. I need some relief.

[Erimus]

Hello, and welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. We are a peer support forum to assist in tapering off psychiatric drugs safely, or recovering from psychiatric drug withdrawal.

 

Your first task is to create a drug signature, with the following:

 

• All current medication you take, the dose you take, when you started the drug, and when you made dose changes
• All current supplements you take
• An accurate history of recent drugs, taken in the last 12-24 months
• Dates for recent should be written as 7 Oct 2023, or Oct 7 2023, or early Oct 2023, or mid Oct 2023
• A history of drugs taken 24 months ago and beyond - if applicable
• Dates for historical drugs can simply be listed as start and stop years
• Please do not use 07/10/23 // 10/07/23 as this is intepreted differently around the world

 

• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. See my signature for example of clear and concise information.

 

• Click this link to edit your signature: Edit your signature here.

 

I wouldn't advise going back on any drug at this point. You are many months out from your last dose, and have tried so many that it is unlikely you were ever stable on one. The brain will heal but it needs immense patience, and avoidance of any chemicals that may impair it. Steer clear of all psychaitric drugs, common substances like alcohol, and any other psychotropics.

[Greet]

I am really in a bad place. I can't go on like this. I still take 1,5 mg mianserin to sleep and my sleep is already awful. Is reinstating a microdose never helpfull to regain emotions? 

[Erimus]

41 minutes ago, Greet said:

I am really in a bad place. I can't go on like this. I still take 1,5 mg mianserin to sleep and my sleep is already awful. Is reinstating a microdose never helpfull to regain emotions? 

Could you add that to your signature, along with the date you started it. So, you are still taking 1.5mg of an antidepressant?

 

It is unlikely you will find a drug to fix the damage caused by other drugs.

44 minutes ago, Greet said:

Is reinstating a microdose never helpfull to regain emotions? 

A micro dose of what?

[Greet]

3 hours ago, Erimus said:

Hello, and welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. We are a peer support forum to assist in tapering off psychiatric drugs safely, or recovering from psychiatric drug withdrawal.

 

Your first task is to create a drug signature, with the following:

 

• All current medication you take, the dose you take, when you started the drug, and when you made dose changes
• All current supplements you take
• An accurate history of recent drugs, taken in the last 12-24 months
• Dates for recent should be written as 7 Oct 2023, or Oct 7 2023, or early Oct 2023, or mid Oct 2023
• A history of drugs taken 24 months ago and beyond - if applicable
• Dates for historical drugs can simply be listed as start and stop years
• Please do not use 07/10/23 // 10/07/23 as this is intepreted differently around the world

 

• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. See my signature for example of clear and concise information.

 

• Click this link to edit your signature: Edit your signature here.

 

I wouldn't advise going back on any drug at this point. You are many months out from your last dose, and have tried so many that it is unlikely you were ever stable on one. The brain will heal but it needs immense patience, and avoidance of any chemicals that may impair it. Steer clear of all psychaitric drugs, common substances like alcohol, and any other psychotropics.

 

2 hours ago, Erimus said:

Could you add that to your signature, along with the date you started it. So, you are still taking 1.5mg of an antidepressant?

 

It is unlikely you will find a drug to fix the damage caused by other drugs.

A micro dose of what?

I take 1,5 mg of mianserin (to sleep), very low dose bc I am so sensitive (normal dose is 10 mg). I don't know how to add it on my signature. 

 

I think of 1 mg of vortioxetine (only med that did'nt give me side-effects), just to calm me. My doc tells me my emotions still could come back on this low dose but I doubt it too. But I can't go on like this longtime either,  too depressed and suffering of pssd. I desperately want to live and feel again. But I don't think I can heal after so long, I can't sleep and relax enough. 

[Erimus]

11 minutes ago, Greet said:

 

I take 1,5 mg of mianserin (to sleep), very low dose bc I am so sensitive (normal dose is 10 mg). I don't know how to add it on my signature. 

 

I think of 1 mg of vortioxetine (only med that did'nt give me side-effects), just to calm me. My doc tells me my emotions still could come back on this low dose but I doubt it too. But I can't go on like this longtime either,  too depressed and suffering of pssd. I desperately want to live and feel again. But I don't think I can heal after so long, I can't sleep and relax enough. 

We can't tell you what to do, ultimately that choice comes down to you. We are here to provide support and information regarding best practices to taper from psychiatric drugs, and tips to help recover from withdrawal syndrome.