AndroBot: Introduction (my 2nd adverse event)

[AndroBot]

Hi everyone,

 

So just wanted to do a brief introduction. My history is complicated. While I have had exposure to antidepressants and drugs in the past, my symptoms now seem to be a result of chronic stress and dopamine and other neurotransmitter depletion from medical drugs like Fentanyl, Hydrocodone, Hydroxyzine, and possibly some effects resulting from me trying to repair the damages with neurosteroids. I’ll write a history summary:

 

 In 2008, I had a nervous breakdown following taking OTC stimulants and long term usage of energy drinks. The resulting panic disorder sent me to the doctor where they prescribed Ativan and thereafter I went back in explaining my mood was low they promptly prescribed Prozac. Immediately after the first dose, something snapped even worse than the symptoms I already had. I tried to continue as they told me it takes time to adjust but by the second or third dose I knew something wasn’t right. I spent the next 3 years with intense akathisia, DP/DR, anhedonia, anxiety/panic, obsessive and ruminating and dark thoughts. I couldn’t handle much other than reading for the first 1.5 years. I did not know if I would recover but after 2 years there were slow changes and after 3 years only left with very little residual anxiety. I don’t know if we ever fully recover but I became functional and again was able to feel normal for most the time to where I felt recovered. 
 

Fast forward and I had some medical procedures where they used cocktails of opiates and benzodiazepines, and possibly antiemetic exposure to Reglan (unsure). I came out of that with chronic tinnitus and felt more anxious and prone to anger and mood disturbances. I continued on and still able to enjoy things until one night in December 2022 I got a really bad headache and took a small dose of hydrocodone. I woke up in panic, excessive thirst, dry mouth, palpitations, etc. Since that time, I have not been the same. 
 

When I went to the hospital they told me my Testosterone was low so I thought maybe that was causing the mental depression, anxiety, DP/DR that I had at the time. I tried boosting that using pregnenolone and experienced a lessening of certain symptoms for the next 6 months until I decided to try to stop it.
 

For some reason even though the dose was very small my body became dependent on it. I’m not sure how others can go on and off with no problem but apparently my body is not producing enough of these neurotransmitters on its own. In any case that was 9 months ago and have been dealing with akathisia restlessness, chronic panic, ruminations, DP/DR, anhedonia and some strange mental fatigue that I don’t fully understand. I tried some other stuff like progesterone cream which was supposed to be calming and seemed to but now realize it creates its own withdrawal like a benzo so I’m trying to just start fresh and let my body do it naturally.

 

It’s been about 1 month since I touched the progesterone cream. As of today, my worst symptom is anhedonia and DPDR with episodes of anxiety and ruminating thoughts and all day music running through my head. I had some akathisia restlessness but it seems to be mostly diminished into just mental restlessness now as my mind is unable to experience any enjoyment. 
 

Anyways, that’s the best summary I can give although there are more details, that’s where I’m struggling with and even though I’ve been poly drugged before, I don’t really know what happened to re-trigger everything. I will probably never know and am just trying to have faith that some others have recovered from multiple events so hopefully my body is not beyond repair from the first time. The anhedonia is very difficult and dark.
 

I am interested to hear from other members who have anhedonia and those who have been healed before but re-triggered by other drugs or exposures. 

Edited July 24 by Emonda
Name to title

[Erimus]

Hello, and welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. We are a peer support forum to assist in tapering off psychiatric drugs safely, or recovering from psychiatric drug withdrawal.

 

This topic is for anything relating to you, and any questions you have. Please do not start another topic.

 

We recommend tapering by no more than 10% of your CURRENT dose each month, to limit withdrawal symptoms. E.g. 10mg --> 9mg --> 8.1mg --> 7.29mg

 

All the answers you are looking for regarding tapering and antidepressant withdrawal are on this site. Please search around and continue to read as much as you can manage. Use the site search function to search for specific words or phrases, such as drugs or symptoms.

 

 

Once you have experienced an adverse reaction to this category of medication you are forever sensitised to it. We cannot use medication like other people can, and must be proactive in researching any pharmaceutical product we ingest from this point onwards. You will recover with time, like you have done in the past, but upmost care is needed going forwards when undertaking any procedures or courses of medication.

 

 

Here are a few of the most useful links:

 

--------Important topics in the Tapering forum and FAQ--------

 

Micro tapering

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

Using a scale to weigh and measure doses

 

--------From the Symptoms and Self-Care Forums--------
 
What is withdrawal syndrome?
 
About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms
 
The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Hypersensitivity and Kindling

 

We only recommend two supplements. Omega 3 Fish Oil and Magnesium. Both should be introduced separately and increased slowly.

 

Regards

Erimus

[AndroBot]

So right now I’m pretty much left with just 3 major symptoms which are anxiety/panic, anhedonia and nonstop earworms (parts of music repeating in head all day). There might also be some obsessive thoughts but I don’t know if that’s just my disposition naturally.

 

Anyways…last time I had adverse drug effects/damage my symptoms seemed to be different as i had anxiety surges and depression stuff in the beginning but later mostly was just akathisia. I also did not have earworms so its a bit concerning to me. 
 

So my question to others I really want to know is if you have or had anxiety that was constant for the most part of the day. I’m wondering if the anxiety/anhedonia are linked. Has anyone had either symptom separately? Did one go away before the other? 
 

Lastly I’m very interested to hear from recovered people on how long their anxiety/panic phase and anhedonia phases lasted and which went away first. Oh and how many of you have or had earworms? Hope to get some responses, thanks 🙏 

[Emonda]

Hi @AndroBot

I've moved your new post back here to your own topic. Please keep posting about yourself here. Each member only had one topic.

 

7 hours ago, AndroBot said:

So my question to others I really want to know is if you have or had anxiety that was constant for the most part of the day. I’m wondering if the anxiety/anhedonia are linked. Has anyone had either symptom separately? Did one go away before the other? 

 

We are all different. Symptoms come and go, then come again, and new ones may make an appearance.

 

I'd have a look at this to get a feel for the various WD symptoms: Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

7 hours ago, AndroBot said:

Lastly I’m very interested to hear from recovered people

 

Jump over to the success story section of the site and see what you can find with the search function. I spend a lot of time and find encouragement from others.

 

Best wishes, Emonda