MissCat - start of the end journey

[MissCat09]

Hi all, I'm here at the recommendation of Mark Horowitz's many mentions through out podcasts and youtube videos.  

Duloxetine (12/2020) - 90mg currently after a 30mg drop from 120mg recommended by my psych. prior to finding this community.  (so far, so good)
Wellbutrin XL (8/2023) - 300mg currently (holding)
Buspar (09/2018) - 40mg currently - have tapered down from 60mg 10mg/month (so far, so good)
Trazodone (12/20210 - 25mg currently - tapered down from 100mg 25mg/month (so far, so good)

I'm all set up to start a slower taper off Duloxetine this week.  My psych has no clue I'm doing this.  Just had an appt with her yesterday and asked if tapering by 30mg / month was too much and she "assured" me that I would be "fine" with "minimal effects of tapering the medication" - which I know full well is BS.  I will be tapering based on weight initially until I make my way down to lower dosages then I plan to start counting beads.  I'm here because I, like many of you have experienced many side effects of these medications - but the most concerning being libido decrease as well as "numbing" - I swear, this is the worst.  Rarely are activities enjoyable, most everything seems like a chore and I will be damned if I spend my whole life feeling this way.  Currently, I'm 41yrs old - I started off of this leg of my journey after my daughter was born in 08/2019 when I was "diagnosed" with post-partum depression.  Since her birth, I struggled with experiencing increased depressive episodes, anxiety, brain fog, hot flashes, night sweats and extreme fatigue.  None of these medications seemed to help, I continued to have what my psych would call "break-through depression/anxiety" while new medications were introduced, and increased in dosage in an attempt to feel better.  It wasn't until this year (04/2024) that I connected some dots, most of my symptoms were the primary symptoms of  peri-menopause.  I sought the advice of my OBGYN who agreed that I was in full blown peri-menopause and recommended hormone replacement therapy.  I began HRT 04/2024 and by 05/2024 my fatigue subsided, have had zero instances of depression or anxiety, my brain fog and hot flashes, night sweats - gone.  Furthermore, my sleep has improved 10 fold.  The only symptoms I have now are those of the antidepressants numbing me out, and killing my sexual desire.  So, the taper begins - I know this will be a process but hopefully I can be free of these drugs by the time my daughter turns 10.  That's my goal.  

I'm glad to have found this community.  Stay well, everyone.  Thanks for listening to my story. 

[Catwoman73]

Hello, @MissCat09, and welcome to SA!  We are a community of volunteers providing peer support in the tapering of psychiatric medications, and their associated withdrawal syndromes. 

 

If you could kindly transfer your drug history in your initial post to a drug signature, we would greatly appreciate it.  This allows us to know your history at a glance when visiting your thread, without having to weed through a large number of posts.  Signatures can be updated with each change you make.  Click the following link, put your drug history there, and click save.  That's it!

 

Your Drug Signature

 

I'm so sorry for what you've been through.  It never ceases to amaze me that doctors would rather throw psych meds at us than actually talk to us, and dig for answers about why we are having symptoms.  Hopefully someday, this will all change, and we won't need forums like this one, but for now, I'm very glad you found us!  I, too, have serious sexual side effects from these drugs.  As I slowly taper, I am starting to see some glimmers of hope.  It takes time, but you'll get there!

 

As you are already aware, we recommend tapering medications by no more than 10% of your current dose, no more often than every four weeks.  This is designed to minimize withdrawal symptoms.  Read more in these threads about how these medications affect our brains, and why hyperbolic tapering is so important:

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 What is happening in your brain?

Why Taper by 10% of My Dosage?

 

We do also recommend tapering only one medication at a time.  The reason for this is that it's important to be able to identify what medication is causing problems as you proceed with your taper.  This becomes even more important at the lower dosages, where these drugs have the biggest effects.  You may be ok tapering three at once now, but I'm very concerned it's going to catch up to you.  Have a read of this thread about choosing which drug to taper first.  I know tapering one at a time extends your journey, but as someone who has done 3 at once in the past, and suffered 7 years of protracted withdrawal as a result, you can believe me when I say it's worth it to go slow, and keep yourself stable along the way. 

 

Taking Multiple Psych Drugs?  Which Drug to Taper First?

 

As you proceed with tapering, when withdrawal symptoms do come up, it's important to understand that you will have good days and bad days.  The bad days may feel like you've lost any progress you've made, but I can assure you that you haven't.  This is a normal pattern, known here as the windows and waves pattern of stabilization.  Read more about this here:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

I would also like to suggest starting a journal now, while you are feeling well.  Keep track of how you are feeling day to day, any symptoms that pop up, rating them on a scale of 1-10.  It's also helpful to track any supplements you are taking, foods you eat, and daily activities.  This can be helpful to identify your windows and waves as you proceed, and also identify anything that might be triggering waves, or making them worse.  You can use the following list of typical withdrawal symptoms as a template, if you wish. 

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

There are a few things you can do to help your body and brain with healing.  Eat a whole foods, balanced diet, stay adequately hydrated, prioritize rest/sleep, and avoid all psychoactive substances, such as caffeine, alcohol. nicotine, and recreational drugs.  Avoid taking other psychiatric medications to deal with the effects of withdrawal from your current medications.  

 

The mental game is very important while tapering.  As symptoms pop up, it can feel very discouraging and demoralizing.  While you are feeling well, it is a good time to start practicing some non-drug methods of coping with these emotions, as they can be quite overwhelming in the moment.  Mindfulness and meditation are the cornerstones of my ability to cope with the highs and lows.  These things take some practice, but are well worth the effort.  If you can create some good mental health habits now, while you are feeling well, this will serve you very well for times when symptoms do occur.  Here are some links to threads about non-drug methods of coping.  These are just a few of the ones we have here to get you started.  

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

"Change the channel" - dealing with cognitive symptoms

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Overall, I want to congratulate you on finding the real underlying cause of your mental health issues, and making the decision to taper.  You have a long journey ahead of you, but you sound like you have excellent resolve, and a positive attitude.  That will take you far.  We are here to help you along the way, be it with math, or reassurance, or whatever you need!  

 

This is your introduction topic- each member gets ONE introduction topic.  Please post updates, questions and concerns here, but don't hesitate to explore the rest of the forum, and engage with other members.  This can be a long and lonely journey- it's nice to know you have a whole village of people here who understand, and are ready to cheer you on!  ❤️