clownlover: New here, withdrawal hell

[clownlover]

Good morning! I’m Sophia. I’m here because my withdrawal has been… actual hell. It doesn’t help that a bunch of financial issues fell in my lap at the worst of it, but this is really severe. I started at 200mg of Zoloft when I was 14 after a suicidal episode. I took that for around ten years before finally realizing how much the drug was holding me back and finding a psychiatrist that took my insurance. I started my taper in February of this year, going down 50mg each time, taking a bit more than a month and a half between each dose, switching to 25mg in the final leg of the taper. I finished in late July and am no longer taking any Zoloft (I still take Busipirone for anxiety). 

 

For half a week, I felt normal. Then, for around a week and a half, maybe, I was tired and cranky. Now (past five days) I feel totally unhinged. I’m having panic attacks every day, intense urges to self harm, so many sobbing spells, and I can’t think logically. I’m supposed to start my period, but my cycle is late (probably because of this), so I’m PMSing on top of that. I’m taking the day off work today (using up PTO, god knows I can’t afford unpaid right now). I’m supposed to move into a new apartment at the end of this month and I’m terrified I’ll still be like this by then. 

 

I’m really scared. I won’t do anything to myself, I have friends keeping an eye on me, but if this is a relapse and not withdrawal, I can’t live like this long-term. I can barely handle it when it’s been five days. On the drug though, I couldn’t feel ******* anything. The depression was usually manageable but it was also the most notable thing I felt at all. I want my life to be more than that. 

 

Sorry to be dramatic in that last bit. Thank you if you read all this, and I’m glad to be here. 

[Emonda]

Welcome @clownlover

 

Sorry to read of your experience.

 

So the moderators can best help you, please complete your drug signature by following these instructions. Adding a signature ensures your drug history appears at the bottom of every post, making it more efficient for those trying to assist. This link should go directly to your own signature: Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 

Please add specific dates and doses for each reduction all the way to 0mg.

 

 

On 8/2/2024 at 9:55 PM, clownlover said:

I started my taper in February of this year, going down 50mg each time, taking a bit more than a month and a half between each dose, switching to 25mg in the final leg of the taper. I finished in late July and am no longer taking any Zoloft

 

This is way too fast and would lead to WD symptoms.

Why taper by 10% of my dosage? The reductions should get smaller and smaller each month, for example: 10mg, 9mg, 8.1mg, 7.3mg etc. This process involves a degree of trial and error, as there is no way of predicting how an individual will respond. Importantly, if you develop unpleasant side effects from tapering, halt the taper, give yourself time to settle, and once stable, taper more slowly and by smaller amounts moving forward. The experience of others suggests that the lower you go in dose, the slower you need to go with tapering.

 

On 8/2/2024 at 9:55 PM, clownlover said:

was tired and cranky. Now (past five days) I feel totally unhinged. I’m having panic attacks every day, intense urges to self harm, so many sobbing spells, and I can’t think logically.

Those that taper too quickly often develop very unpleasant withdrawal symptoms. This Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) is a helpful summary of what many experience. Can you relate to the items on this list? What you describe sound like WD symptoms to me.

I suggest you have a read of these two links:

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

Kindling

Once you add the specific dates/doses, someone will be able to comment further about possible reinstatement of a small dose of your AD.

Recovery from ADs and tapering is not linear. There are good days and not-so-good days/weeks/months. This is referred to as the Windows and waves pattern of stabilization.

The following general links are worth reading:

Emotional Spirals

Non-drug coping strategies

Melatonin for sleep

We don't suggest many supplements, but two that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. Add one at a time and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium and Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

Avoid alcohol. 

Don't change the manufacturer of your AD, if you choose to reinstate.

Once again, welcome to S.A.

Emonda