dogsarelifegirl: dogsarelifegirldogsarelifegirldogsarelifegirlIntroducing myself

[dogsarelifegirl]

Hello all,

 

My name is Isabella and this is my first time here. I’m 25 from the south of England and I was first prescribed pills when I was 13 for OCD and anxiety. I was put on many different types until we settled on Venlafaxine. Since then I have tried to come off them myriad times but haven’t able to break myself from their grasp. I am currently on three different medications, Venlafaxine, Olanzapine and Lamotrigine, and at some point in the future I would like to have children in the not too distant future but obviously would prefer to be on much lower doses, if not completely on them by that time to reduce any risk to a baby.

I cry often, sometimes daily, at the fact I have been treated by the medical system and am now completely dependent on drugs of which I don’t know the long-term side affects. I have side affects from my pills and that is another reason why I would like to reduce my dose. I am looking into diet and exercise, and I want to give my body the best chance to get off them as I can but of course there is so much varying information out there on things like diet, exercise, nervous system work, therapy, vitamins, exercise ect. that it can be overwhelming to know which is the best course to take. I have talked many times to doctors who have advised me to reduce my dose relatively quickly and this has only made my withdrawal symptoms blow up to the point where I just end up going back on the pills. I cannot express my anger at the medical system and the horrors it puts vulnerable people through but that is a topic for another day.

I am here because I would like to find a community who understands what it is actually like to go through the hell that is psychiatric medication withdrawal. I don’t know of anyone who has had this experience and I feel tremendously alone and isolated, because no-one can relate or understand what it is actually like and how mind-bending, earth-shattering, and horrifying it can be. I am very keen to learn about what has helped others and to make connections with those who just get it. I try my best to keep hold of hope, but sometimes it does feel futile and feel like I am up against the biggest enemy of my life. Even coming on this website and comprehending the journey I have ahead makes my heart sink a little as I am so scared at what will come. But I know I have to make a change and I pray everyday that it will be possible. I would like a family in my future and I do my best to keep hope that this will be possible. Last year I attempted to lower my Olanzapine and ended up in very hot water and I have been recovering and trying to rebuild up my life ever since. I am so saddened that I am on these drugs and I need to find a light at the end of the long dark tunnel I am in.

 

So that’s my introduction and I hope to hear back from anyone who understands and could give me any hope/ tips/ support. Thank you and here is to a better future with less pills!

[Catwoman73]

Hi @dogsarelifegirl, and welcome to SA!  We are a community of volunteers providing peer support in the tapering of psychiatric medications, and their associated withdrawal syndromes.  So you've come to the right place!  There's not a soul here who doesn't understand what you are experiencing. 

 

I know you have been sent a warning by Emonda to complete your drug signature- we would greatly appreciate it if you could do that for us.  This ensures that your drug history is available to us on each post you create, allowing us to advise you appropriately.  To complete your signature, please click the following link, fill in the box with your history, to the best of your recollection, and click save.  That's it!  Your signature can be updated as you proceed to reflect current dosages, etc.  You can check mine out at the bottom of this post to see the general format. 

 

Your Drug Signature

 

I'm so sorry for all you've been through.  We are happy to help you get going on tapering.  Since you are on multiple medications, I want to provide you a link on deciding which medication to taper first.  We don't recommend tapering multiple drugs at once, because it can be very difficult to figure out which med is causing problems if you are tapering many at once.  Generally, we recommend starting with the most stimulating medications.  Read more here:

 

Taking Multiple Psych Drugs?  Which Drug to Taper First?

 

You may wish to also consider which medication is most dangerous in the context of pregnancy, if you wish to have children sooner rather than later.  Safe tapering can take quite a long time. When you do start to taper, we recommend tapering by no more than 10% of the current month's dose, no more often than every four weeks.  Tapering this way is designed to release the drug receptors in the body from the medication slowly, and helps to mitigate withdrawal symptoms.  So as an example, tapering from 10mg of a drug, you would go to 9mg, then 8.1mg, then 7.3mg, then 6.8mg.  This is called hyperbolic tapering.  You can read more about why tapering this way is so important and so effective here:

 

Why Taper?  SERT Transporter Occupancy Studies Show Importance of Hyperbolic tapering

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

It is normal, as you are tapering, to have good days/weeks and bad days/weeks.  This is what we refer to as the windows and waves pattern of stabilization.  When you are experiencing this, it is a good sign that healing is occurring.  In order to understand your own patterns best, it's a great idea to keep a symptom journal.  I keep track of symptoms, dosages, supplements, activities and foods in my journal.  This has helped me identify a few triggers of waves.  You can read more about typical withdrawal symptoms, and windows and waves below:

 

Windows and waves pattern of stabilization

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

There are a few things you can do to help make your tapering journey more smooth- you can eat a healthy, whole foods diet, stay hydrated, get gentle exercise, avoid neurologically active substances like caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, recreational drugs.  We also strongly recommend against using other psychiatric drugs to deal with the withdrawal effects of psychiatric medications.  This can not only backfire and make things worse, but creates a situation where you need to taper something else down the road.  And after all you've been through, I'm sure you don't want that!  We only recommend two supplements here at SA- magnesium and omega-3 fatty acids.  A word of caution though- it is very common to become hypersensitive to all sorts of things while tapering- medications, supplements and even foods.  When introducing anything- even the supplements that we recommend- start with a low dose, and see how you fare.  Increase slowly over time if you tolerate them. 

 

Tolerating withdrawal symptoms can be very difficult, even when tapering hyperbolically.  We have a whole bunch of threads on non-drug coping mechanisms.  I will link these below, though you may find some of your own, too!  I find swimming to be very therapeutic and calming.  Mindfulness and meditation though, are the cornerstone of my ability to move through my days with a sense of calm, so I would strongly recommend practicing these every day!

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

"Change the channel" - dealing with cognitive symptoms

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Most of all, don't give up hope!  It is possible to get off these darned meds, even for those of us with a long history of using them.  We do have a full forum of success stories here at SA- I read these regularly on the difficult days.  

 

I know this is a lot of information- take some time to absorb it.  We are here to support you 100% of the way!  Hang in there!

 

This is your introduction topic- each member gets one intro topic.  Please post updates, questions and concerns here, but don't hesitate to explore the rest of the forum- there is tons of good information here.  If you feel up to it, engaging with other members is a great way to feel less alone.  Read their stories, drop a comment or word of support.  The peer support aspect of this site is great- everyone is kind and supportive here.  So you really aren't alone!  There's a huge community here who will be here to cheer you on! ❤️‍🩹