jessica96: Psych drugs have completely ruined my life, please help me

[jessica96]

For almost 10 years I have been on psychiatric drugs and c/t because of my ignorance. Psychiatric drugs and doctors have ruined my whole life, I am sure psychiatric drugs numbed me emotionally after I took my first dose of olanzapine and some other drugs last year (I feel nothing! I feel no joy, love, peace, happiness, nothing! lost all sexual function). My brain is severely damaged in sleep (insomnia all day and night for a month, can't close my eyes, brain is constantly active and hallucinating while sleeping, anxiety, panic, shallow breathing) when I try to reduce the dose of current drugs
Grandaxin 50mg (tofisopam), mirzaten 30mg (mirtazapine), lunesta 2mg (eszopiclone)

Please someone help me, I have no help from my area, my family and psychiatrist want to put me in hospital, no one believes me.  I can't feel any joy around me now, I just stay home all day crying and looking for help online, I can't live another day like this, please help me, can my brain recover after so many CT, will all my emotions come back, I read a lot of cases where they were devastated and lived without emotions forever, I'm so panicked

[jessica96]

For almost 10 years I have been on psychiatric drugs and c/t because of my ignorance. Psychiatric drugs and doctors have ruined my whole life, I am sure psychiatric drugs numbed me emotionally after I took my first dose of olanzapine and some other drugs last year (I feel nothing! I feel no joy, love, peace, happiness, nothing! lost all sexual function). My brain is severely damaged in sleep (insomnia all day and night for a month, can't close my eyes, brain is constantly active and hallucinating while sleeping, anxiety, panic, shallow breathing) when I try to reduce the dose of current drugs
Grandaxin 50mg (tofisopam), mirzaten 30mg (mirtazapine), lunesta 2mg (eszopiclone)

Please someone help me, I have no help from my area, my family and psychiatrist want to put me in hospital, no one believes me.  I can't feel any joy around me now, I just stay home all day crying and looking for help online, but I can't live another day like this, please help me, can my brain recover after so many CT, will all my emotions come back, I read a lot of cases where they were devastated and lived without emotions forever, I'm so panicked

[jessica96]

I am currently taking tofisopam 50mg, mirtazapine 30mg, lunesta 2mg (eszopiclone) and it is causing total paralysis of my emotions.( i feel nothing! I feel no joy, love , peace, happiness,  nothing!, loss of libido) .I need someone to schedule a tapering for me because I am not getting any support from my psychiatrist, there is no support in my area. I tried to taper off a very small dose of lumines first but experienced severe WD ( always have a weird feeling in my brain when I close my eyes, can't close my eyes to sleep even though I'm very sleepy, brain is always active all day, can't sleep all day and night for many days, my body is completely exhausted)

My life is hell, will i live without emotions forever?, my brain is completely damaged, is there any way to recover?  please someone help me. I have made many stupid c/t before due to ignorance, maybe that is why I have brain damage, I am so regretful and desperate

[FireflyFyte]

Hi jessica96,

 

Welcome to SA. Can you please update your signature so that it is in English and follows the guidelines at How to Summarize Your Drug History in Your Signature.

 

4 hours ago, jessica96 said:

My life is hell, will i live without emotions forever?, my brain is completely damaged, is there any way to recover?

 

Recovery is possible but it might take some time as there are sadly no quick fixes. You may want to check out the following resources -

• Is it always going to be like this?
• Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

Once you have updated your signature, we can try and assist further.

 

Thanks,

 

Firefly

[Willy]

@jessica96 I’m sorry this happened to you. It is very cruel and unfair. I also have been poly drugged and I’m struggling to survive everyday. My only job right now is to make it to tomorrow. The only choice we have is to taper off slowly according to the guidelines on this forum and only taper one drug at a time. I just started my taper and have to accept that it’s going to take a long time but it’s the only way out. Know that many people are in the same position as us and survived. Please hang in there!!

[Farm24]

If you can afford it I recommend an apt with Angie Peacock

[jessica96]

7 hours ago, Willy said:

@jessica96 Tôi xin lỗi vì điều này đã xảy ra với bạn. Thật là tàn nhẫn và bất công. Tôi cũng đã từng bị cho dùng nhiều loại thuốc và tôi đang phải vật lộn để sống sót mỗi ngày. Công việc duy nhất của tôi hiện tại là phải sống sót cho đến ngày mai. Lựa chọn duy nhất chúng ta có là giảm dần dần theo hướng dẫn trên diễn đàn này và chỉ giảm dần từng loại thuốc một. Tôi vừa mới bắt đầu giảm dần và phải chấp nhận rằng sẽ mất nhiều thời gian nhưng đó là cách duy nhất để thoát khỏi tình trạng này. Hãy biết rằng có nhiều người cũng ở trong tình trạng tương tự như chúng ta và đã sống sót. Hãy cố gắng lên!!

i was on too many medications and my brain was completely broken, there was no equipment for my tapering, i even stayed home for a year and had no income. english is not my mother tongue and i had to use google to translate. no medication = cant sleep. taking medication = emotional paralysis, i was afraid to open my eyes every morning, afraid to face all this paralysis forever, i didnt know which medication to taper off first, my condition was so bad, i had no money and motivation to live.

[jessica96]

please someone tell me my brain will recover after coming off the meds, it takes years and months to come off each med, which means I will have to live without emotions like this for many more years, my brain is not sure if it will recover, I have not felt any joy around me for 7 months now, I cannot feel any love from people around me anymore, I can only cry, and be angry, I am newly married and I want to love my husband, I want children and love for them, I cannot imagine living like this forever, I cannot laugh and feel everything around me, shopping, tv, listening to music, all my hobbies are gone, what is the point of living anymore, I have been off work for 7 months now, please someone tell me my brain will recover, I know it is the meds and have tried to reduce it but I have had insomnia for months and have had to take it again, I have taken and stopped so many meds, the psychiatrist  what a disgusting thing god is, so hopeless, no one is by my side, i know my husband loves me very much but maybe he can't take it anymore, all the activities i'm doing are just pretending to be normal, please someone tell me how to get off this drugs and how to do it, i've been out of work for over a year and have no income, english is not my mother tongue, someone save me, i've been lying there crying and not doing anything for almost a year now, no one can support me anymore, i really want to live, please...

[jessica96]

i am completely paralyzed by this pile of psychiatric drugs, i still have to take 3 types and can't reduce it because my brain has strange phenomena (severe insomnia without medication , can't close my eyes, brain is constantly active and hallucinations during sleep, heart palpitations, panic attacks, shallow breathing), i really can't take it anymore, my parents want to put me in a mental hospital because they only trust psychiatric drugs and doctors, is there any way to save me...., i have been wandering around the house for months now, i need to feel something, i don't even feel pain when i cry....it's hell, i have a whole future ahead of me, i'm only 28 years old, i really don't want to live like this, my family and friends don't believe what i say and they tell me to take that disgusting medicine and it will be fine,...

[jessica96]

i am completely paralyzed by this pile of psychiatric drugs, i still have to take 3 types and can't reduce it because my brain has strange phenomena (severe insomnia without medication , can't close my eyes, brain is constantly active and hallucinations during sleep, heart palpitations, panic attacks, shallow breathing), i really can't take it anymore, my parents want to put me in a mental hospital because they only trust psychiatric drugs and doctors, is there any way to save me...., i have been wandering around the house for months now, i need to feel something, i don't even feel pain when i cry....it's hell, i have a whole future ahead of me, i'm only 28 years old, i really don't want to live like this, my family and friends don't believe what i say and they tell me to take that disgusting medicine and it will be fine,

[Emonda]

Hello Jessica96,

Thanks for adding your signature. To confirm, you are currently taking

 

On 8/15/2024 at 11:32 PM, jessica96 said:

Grandaxin 50mg (tofisopam), mirzaten 30mg (mirtazapine), lunesta 2mg (eszopiclone)

 

Have you changed the doses recently?

 

Have you change the brand?

 

Please read the two links Fireflyfyte provided in her first post.

 

WIth time, things will definitely improve

[Kat66]

3 hours ago, jessica96 said:

 i really want to live

@jessica96 reading this, despite everything you’re going through, is a good sign. I too can’t feel joy or love. It is a horrible state to be in. You’re not alone and there is a lot of support on here! Please hang in there!

[jessica96]

2 hours ago, Emonda said:

Xin chào Jessica96,

Cảm ơn bạn đã thêm chữ ký của bạn. Để xác nhận, hiện tại bạn đang tham gia

 

 

Gần đây bạn có thay đổi liều dùng không?

 

Bạn đã đổi thương hiệu chưa?

 

Vui lòng đọc hai liên kết mà Fireflyfyte cung cấp trong bài đăng đầu tiên của cô ấy.

 

Theo thời gian, mọi thứ chắc chắn sẽ được cải thiện

yes, i am currently taking the above 3 medications. i have just been on 2mg of eszopiclone a day for 7 nights after stopping 100mg clozapyl prescribed by a doctor.On the 5th and 6th day of taking it i tried breaking off a small piece of the pill but i couldnt sleep and had to go back to the original dose, but the condition did not improve and still could not close my eyes. i am completely exhausted and hopeless, i am in vietnam and the psychiatrist keeps switching from one psychiatric drug to another, my brain is completely destroyed and no one believes me, please help me get off all these horrible drugs, i want my emotions back and to be able to sleep
I have read about how to taper off but I am so confused because I am on so many medications, and the way to taper off is so long and complicated.

[jessica96]

I'm currently taking 3 medications at the same time.

mirtazapine 30mg (AD drug), tofisopam 50mg (it seems to be in the benzos group too, I'm not sure, does anyone know anything about that drug?) and eszopiclone 2mg.

my doctor gave me those 3 meds just for sleep, but i am sure only eszopiclone helps me sleep, so should i taper off the other 2 first and taper off eszopiclone last? i was told benzos should only be taken for no more than 14 days or they will become addictive, so if i taper off very slowly over several months following the water taper will i become more dependent on the drugs?

[Schmeg82]

On 8/15/2024 at 9:02 PM, jessica96 said:

For almost 10 years I have been on psychiatric drugs and c/t because of my ignorance. Psychiatric drugs and doctors have ruined my whole life, I am sure psychiatric drugs numbed me emotionally after I took my first dose of olanzapine and some other drugs last year (I feel nothing! I feel no joy, love, peace, happiness, nothing! lost all sexual function). My brain is severely damaged in sleep (insomnia all day and night for a month, can't close my eyes, brain is constantly active and hallucinating while sleeping, anxiety, panic, shallow breathing) when I try to reduce the dose of current drugs
Grandaxin 50mg (tofisopam), mirzaten 30mg (mirtazapine), lunesta 2mg (eszopiclone)

Please someone help me, I have no help from my area, my family and psychiatrist want to put me in hospital, no one believes me.  I can't feel any joy around me now, I just stay home all day crying and looking for help online, but I can't live another day like this, please help me, can my brain recover after so many CT, will all my emotions come back, I read a lot of cases where they were devastated and lived without emotions forever, I'm so panicked

Don’t read the horror stories!  You never know what each persons real story is and what other factors they’re dealing with in their lives.  All of your emotions will come back! Mine did and are, and now I’m a bit to emotional but slowly getting better.  I’m still tapering and in protracted withdrawals but I’m feeling things very deeply again.  We are all here for you and understand what you’re going through!  My family doesn’t get it either and just wants me on more drugs, you have to have a plan and stick to it no matter how hard it is or feels - at the end of the road is a beautiful rainbow!  We are all here for you 💕