Jaxy59: Need help with current reinstate taper

[Jaxy59]

I was on Zoloft successfully for 24 years until I finally decided I want to live life without chemicals. I have a wonderful life and family and should not have been on this medication for that long. I originally went on for a brief depression episode when I was 17. Plus I was having memory issues and really just didn’t feel it was working all the much so I thought if that’s the case, I can do on my own.  My Dr thought it was a good idea and understood and tapered me off within 4/5 weeks. 2 weeks after stopping, I felt extremely emotional so instead of going back to Zoloft, she put me on Wellbutrin which I was on for 4 months but with side effects. Tapered me off and put me on 5mg lexapro for a couple of months but because it was a low dose, and I was informed it wasnt really sufficient and wasn’t  really doing much, so tapered me off. I was then put on a low dose of buspar but only took for 2 weeks because it caused awful panic attacks. Come November of 2023, I was hit with the scariest, worst depression feeling I never thought was possible. I by no means am suicidal but though it was the only way. I had my partner take me to hospital but they didn’t not keep me because I was only having thoughts and wasn’t going to actually follow through. They then put me on 25mg pristiq but only last a month because of terrible side effects. I then started to feel like an inner restlessness feeling. They tapered me off and put me back on 5mg lexapro to which was raised to 7.5, 10 and 12.5 then tapered back down within 6 months time. During this time, I was getting what I now believe is an akathesia type feeling. Extreme burning anxiety in my chest, SI, inner restlessness to where I’m beyond uncomfortable. The dr just thought I was sensitive to meds and having bad anxiety. I am now on 6.2mg (I weigh the pill) viibryd because 10mg and 7.5mg were way too activating. I’m now on this low dose and very uncomfortable. I know I need to stabilize but now here I am on this medication and I don’t think it’s very good for me. Since being on for 7 weeks (dr has been out of country), I’ve had daily palpitations, shortness of breath after a few steps and just not feeling right. I’m so lost and scared as to what I need to do next because I don’t want to keep changing especially with akathesia (I do not want it getting worse) but I know I need a low dose of something to stabilize before slooowly tapering again. Please help me. I see my dr tomorrow and I know she’s going to want to change. What do I do. I feel like I’m a loss cause and I’ll never get better. 

Edited September 2 by Emonda
Name to title

[Jaxy59]

Good morning. I’m really scared as to what my next step should be. Especially with now having akathesia. I wish I knew then what I know now. I just want my life back. To get back to my family. I’m so uncomfortable and confused of what I’m feeling is withdrawal, new anxiety or this med. I’m scared I am messed up for good. Please, any advice would be beyond appreciated. Also, I want to thank those on this website. Finding it and being able to relate to other is very helpful in trying to heal. 

[Jaxy59]

I’m really struggling and feeling extremely down. This viibryd is only holding a few withdrawal symptoms away like dizziness but I’m afraid this depression is coming back and because of Akathesia, I won’t be able to get on anything else for fear of making it worse. Does anyone think trying Zoloft again could possibly be the answer? Since it’s been so long since I’ve been on? I’m limited to what I can be on because I am a poor metabolizer of the main enzyme that antidepressants are metabolized by. I’m extreme scared and don’t know what to do or where to turn. 

[Catwoman73]

Hi @Jaxy59- welcome to SA!  We are a community of volunteers providing peer support in the tapering of psychiatric medications and their associated withdrawal syndromes.  

 

Thank you for completing your drug signature!  I apologize for the slow response- somehow your initial post got approved, but we mods missed replying to it.  It happens- many of us are dealing with our own withdrawal issues, so our brains aren't always working 100%. 

 

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  It looks like you've been on what I affectionately refer to as the drug merry-go-round.  This is when one drug stops working or side effects start to make it impossible to stay on it, and psychiatry decides to try to fix the problem with other drugs.  And each subsequent drug just makes things worse.  Unfortunately we've seen it many times before here. 

 

Your nervous system has been through a lot over the last few months.  What you are experiencing is NOT new anxiety or mental illness of any sort.  What you are experiencing is the effects of having a severely destabilized nervous system from having so many drug changes in such a short period of time.  Further medication changes are not going to help, and will likely make you worse.  What you probably need right now is a long hold- likely many weeks to months- in order to let your symptoms calm down, and adapt to your current medication.  

 

The reason you are experiencing this is due to repeated rapid tapers/cold turkey stops of previous meds.  Psychiatry seems to prefer to believe pharmaceutical companies, who state that withdrawal is 'mild and short lived' rather than patients, who are clearly telling them otherwise, so they continue to advise very rapid tapering and drug cycling.  Here at SA, we recommend tapering at a rate of no more than 10% of the current month's dose, no more often than every four weeks (so for your Zoloft, this would have been 100mg, 90mg, 81mg, 73mg and so on).  This is known as hyperbolic tapering, and is designed to release the receptors in the brain very slowly from the medication, moving even slower at low doses, where these drugs have the greatest effect.  You can read more about hyperbolic tapering here:

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

As you hold, your nervous system will very slowly start to stabilize.  As you do, you will experience periods where you feel like things are better, and periods where you feel worse.  This is actually a very good sign that you are healing.  We call it the windows and waves pattern of stabilization.  You can read more about this here:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

It is a good idea to start a symptom journal while going through this.  Track your symptoms day by day, rating them on a scale of 1-10 for severity.  This makes it much easier to identify your windows and waves.  You can use this list of typical withdrawal symptoms as a template for a journal, if you wish.

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

In terms of what you can do to help yourself stabilize, there are a few things, though many are quite common sense.  You need to take very good care of yourself by eating a balanced, whole foods diet, stay well hydrated, get enough rest/sleep, get gentle exercise, and avoid all neurologically active substances, such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and recreational drugs.  We do not recommend taking other psychiatric medications to deal with the withdrawal effects of psychiatric medications, as the results are unpredictable, and can actually make you worse rather than better.  Not to mention, you would be creating a situation where you will have to taper from something else in the future, prolonging your withdrawal journey and your suffering.  We only recommend two supplements here at SA- magnesium and omega-3 fatty acids.  Do be mindful though, it is quite common for those with unstable nervous systems to develop sensitivities to all sorts of things, including previously tolerated medications, supplements and even foods!  So if you start a supplement, even those recommended here, start with a very low dose, and see how you fare.  You can increase slowly over time if you tolerate it well.  It can be handy to track your foods and supplements in your symptom journal as well, to help you identify any potential triggers. 

 

I know that the emotional symptoms can be extremely difficult to deal with while holding to stabilize and while tapering.  We have many threads here on SA regarding non-drug methods of coping with your emotional symptoms- I will link a few of them below.  What is important is finding something that works for you.  Personally, I have to practice mindfulness all day every day, and do meditations/yoga Nidra at night.  I find swimming to be very calming- I almost feel normal in the water.  And I really find working on artistic things to be a helpful distraction.  It doesn't have to be anything fancy- I do paint by numbers!  But it takes some practice and experimentation to find a routine that helps you manage your symptoms without drugs- be patient with your self, and use this as an opportunity to explore some new things!

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

"Change the channel" - dealing with cognitive symptoms

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

In summary, I think a long hold is likely what would help you the most at this point in time.  You can taper hyperbolically once your symptoms have gotten under better control, and I'm happy to help you do this when the time comes.  Start a symptom journal, and take really good care of yourself.  The most important work you can do right now is to work hard on developing some non-drug coping mechanisms, and making these daily habits.  This will not only help you through this journey, but will help you cope with all the ups and downs of life once this period of your life is in the rearview mirror.  I can't tell you how long it will take to fully stabilize, but we're here to help along the way. 

 

This is your introduction topic- each member gets one intro topic.  Please post updates and questions here, on this thread.  That being said, do check out the rest of the forum- there's lots of good information here!  And if you feel up to it, feel free to read the intro threads of others, and drop a word of support in the comments.  This journey is much easier when you have a community of like-minded people who fully understand your pain.  You can create that community here by engaging with other members. 

 

Sending you healing vibes, and I look forward to following your journey! 

 

 

 

[Jaxy59]

Thank you so very much for your response. I’m feeling extremely depressed and having a hard time keeping my thoughts calm. I use techniques to try and quiet and calm my brain but it doesn’t work. I feel terrible and I pray so hard to get back my life. I never in a million years would have thought my life would be at this point at 42. I feel I’ve taken so much away from my family and it’s killing me. I’m so scared that I’m permanently broken and I’ll never feel good again. I used to be ver my outgoing and happy go lucky and now I’m a shell. Get anxious to go out which is def not like me. How do I work on mindfulness when my body and brain won’t let me. And now with the akathesia (no pacing just anxiety form) I’m limited to what I can eat so I’m dropping weight quickly. I of course wish I could rewind and would e slowly been tapered after 24 years but I can’t change it yet my brain always goes there. I’m worried that fall and winter are coming and feeling this down is concerning. I love life and to feel this way is scary. How do you know if it’s just withdrawal or I really am depressed and anxious? I don’t know my baseline because I was on Zoloft majority of my life. I feel I’ve destroyed myself and I will never get me back. I don’t take anything else, not even Tylenol because I’m too afraid. I just pray to God for healing so I can get back to the beautiful life he gave me. 

[Jaxy59]

Plus I don’t think this Viibryd is a very good medication so with that, I’m also afraid I won’t be able to stabilize on it. Is that still possible that I will stabilize even though it offers no help other than holding off dizziness from withdrawal? It gives me palpitations and sometimes shortness of breath but I can’t come off of it so my question is, can my brain/body find homeostasis on this med even if it’s not the best for me? 

[Catwoman73]

You'll have to trust me on this- because of the timing, this is most definitely withdrawal/ destabilized nervous system.  All of this started with the drug merry-go-round, so from a timing perspective, you can pretty much rule out that this is just 'you.'  This is not you, this is only the drugs.  In fact, that has become my mantra- I repeat it over and over (and over) again on the bad days.  You will heal, but you didn't get to this point overnight, so it's not going to heal over night either.  Time and patience are absolutely the key. 

 

You haven't ruined your life and you're not broken.  This is just a speed bump in your story, and someday it will be behind you.  In fact, I'm a ridiculously optimistic person, and I have to believe that every person on this site is going to come out of this better than ever.  More patient, more resilient, more mindful, more impactful, more aware of what we want and don't want out of our lives.  Less willing to take $hit from anyone.  You WILL get there.

 

Don't beat yourself up, and don't look backwards.  We all make the best decisions we can at the time we are making them.  We all trust our doctors to know what they're doing.  Your family loves you and will stand by you- just keep those lines of communication open.  Share how you are feeling, and ask for what you need- be it space, a hug, or a shoulder to cry on. 

 

Everyone is afraid they won't stabilize.  But given the appropriate amount of time, you absolutely will.  My only concern in your case is that your symptom pattern may represent a bit of hypersensitivity having developed with all the changes you've made.  This can make finding stability a bit of a longer and more challenging journey.  You can read more about hypersensitivity and it's more severe cousin, kindling, here:

 

Hypersensitivity and Kindling

 

It would be pretty unusual for us to recommend tapering while in an unstable state, like you are now.  If you read this link and feel that you might have had a kindling reaction, and if you wanted to test the waters, and decrease your dose slightly to see if it helps with symptoms, you could certainly try- I would stick with less than a 5% cut, and only after you have tracked your symptoms in a journal for at least a week (preferably two) on your current dose.  It's really important to not count on remembering how you felt two weeks ago when experimenting, as the days blend into one another, and when you feel like crap, we can't count on our memories to be accurate.  I use a spreadsheet on my computer to track my symptoms, but you can do it on paper, or whatever works best for you.  The key here is moving very slowly, and carefully observing changes as you proceed.  

 

Keep it Simple, Keep it Slow, Keep it Stable 

 

One thing I know for sure- I can say with certainty that changing meds again is not going to help.  Repeatedly changing meds is what got you here in the first place.  Now is the time to give your body the stillness it needs to find homeostasis.

 

As for mindfulness, meditation, etc... I know how hard it is when you have terrible anxiety.  My best word of advice is to just keep trying!  This is how we reprogram our brains to respond to physical and emotional stressors differently.  By having faith and persisting, even when you feel it isn't doing anything.   If being still and mindful is difficult, try a walking meditation, focussing on what you can see, hear, smell while going for a short walk.  If your mind wanders and starts to ruminate, it's ok!  Just acknowledge the thoughts and bring your mind back to focussing on the present, and what your senses are telling you.  You may have to do this 100 times, but that's ok- it's how our brains learn.  You can do the same with any and all activities- when doing dishes, for example, focus on how the warm water feels on your hands, the weight and texture of each dish.  Yup, your mind will wander.  It's ok- just acknowledge and bring it back.  This is how we get started.  Eventually, with patience and practice, it will become automatic.  It worked for me, and it can work for you too!

 

I never imagined I'd be here at age 51, either.  In withdrawal, suffering from long covid, and in perimenopause lol... I'm a mess!  But I have chosen to firmly believe that all the suffering will be for a reason, and that my life will be so much better for it in the future.  I think yours will be too.  Just hang in there, and keep fighting.  It'll be worth it. ❤️‍🩹

[Jaxy59]

I am everyone grateful to you and for an answering all my questions and concerns. So with the hypersensitivity, does that mean stability will be even harder and long term? Will I ever be able to eventually get off this or am I in for several years of torture? I’m so sorry, I’m just really scared. My family loves me but doesn’t understand and it’s really hard to explain when I can’t really explain myself. Now with this hypersensitive/kindling, I’m even more scared. It’s been the longest 18 months. That’s when I stopped Zoloft but it’s been 10 months since I fell into the darkest hole ever which I’m assuming in protracted withdrawal. Do I go by stopping the Zoloft or when paws started? 

[Jaxy59]

Now I weigh my viibryd so my concern too is am I getting the sane amount of medication each time? I weigh it and it’s always the same but what about medicine distribution in the pill itself. I don’t want to switch to liquid because I heard that may mess stabilizing up as well. I’ve talked to others that weigh their viibryd as well so I’m hoping it’s ok. Also, for tapering when it’s time. Is it possible to taper just .1 or so every couple weeks to minimize withdrawal?

[Jaxy59]

Sorry. I keep thinking of things after I hit save. So most days, I start feeling a little better about 2-3 hours before my next pill. Do you think that is because the medicine is wearing off or something else?

[Jaxy59]

I think maybe I am kindling? I think I was back on lexapro as well.  Now I’m petrified. Will it get better? Am I ruined? What happens now? If I stay on my current 6.2, will it eventually subside? Am I stuck on this for good as far tapering? I’m very new to all of this and wish I would’ve found this site a long time ago. Mr dr kept going up on the lexapro and now I see I was probably kindling so will I not be able to stabilize? I’m panicking. 

[Jaxy59]

Ok so I’m a nervous wreck right now because I’m afraid that even though I’m weighing my pill, what if the scale is off by .1 or 2 is that going to mess me up even more as far as stabilizing? I’m so anxious right now. 

[Jaxy59]

So in regard to kindling, will I eventually stabilize on this dose or do I need to lower? I’m just so lost with all of this. 

[Jaxy59]

I really need help. I am currently suffering kindling and I’m literally being tortured every day. I’m losing hope. The SI and feelings of being incredibly down and hopeless are taking over. I pray for a miracle. I want to get back to my life, my baby girl. I’m so exhausted and don’t know what to do. I absolutely do not want to leave this earth but feeling like this is awful. Is there anywhere I can go that acknowledges ssri withdrawal that can help me with withdrawal and kindling? I really don’t know what to do. Please any advice or help. I pray to God! 

[Catwoman73]

If you're feeling that terrible, I would try making a small cut, and see how you feel.  If you're on 6.2, maybe do 5%, so go to 5.9, then hold for a couple of weeks, making observations about your symptoms.  If that small cut makes you feel even slightly better, then you may be best to taper right now.  But the key is not to make rapid and rash decisions.  Tapering slowly is necessary even when kindled, so as not to create even more symptoms from a rapid taper.  If the 5% drop makes you feel even worse, then go back up to the 6.2, and you'll have your answer.  In that case, you likely need a long hold right where you are to stabilize.  

 

On 9/4/2024 at 2:55 PM, Jaxy59 said:

Now I weigh my viibryd so my concern too is am I getting the sane amount of medication each time? I weigh it and it’s always the same but what about medicine distribution in the pill itself. I don’t want to switch to liquid because I heard that may mess stabilizing up as well. I’ve talked to others that weigh their viibryd as well so I’m hoping it’s ok. Also, for tapering when it’s time. Is it possible to taper just .1 or so every couple weeks to minimize withdrawal?

 

Medications are evenly distributed throughout the pills, so you are fine to continue with cutting and weighing.  If you are interested in micro-tapering methods (that's what I'm doing), have a look at the following thread.  This method has served me very well so far!

 

The Brassmonkey Slide Method of Microtapering

 

19 hours ago, Jaxy59 said:

Ok so I’m a nervous wreck right now because I’m afraid that even though I’m weighing my pill, what if the scale is off by .1 or 2 is that going to mess me up even more as far as stabilizing? I’m so anxious right now. 

 

What scale are you using?  We recommend the Gemini 2 scale- it goes to 3 decimal places.  There are challenges with every method of tapering, including liquid tapering- you can't allow yourself to worry too much about minor variations like that.  Just be consistent with your own method, and it will all work out. 

 

7 hours ago, Jaxy59 said:

So in regard to kindling, will I eventually stabilize on this dose or do I need to lower? I’m just so lost with all of this. 

 

You will eventually stabilize, no matter what dose you are on.  But given your description of feeling better in the 2-3 hours before taking your pill, I do think it's worth trying a small cut right now to see if you feel any improvements.  How do you feel in the hours after you take it?  

 

No matter what, you do have a long journey ahead of you.  Unfortunately, the only way out is through- there are no short cuts.  Work hard to establish some solid non-drug coping mechanisms right now.  Even if you feel like they aren't doing much at this point, they will eventually start to make a difference if you are consistent. Being in a panic all the time is not very conducive to healing, so slowly learning to accept your symptoms is an absolutely necessary part of the process. I know it's really hard, but if you're strong enough to survive what you have so far, you can take that extra step, and start training your brain.  

 

Hugs, and healing vibes! ❤️‍🩹

[Jaxy59]

Thank you for your response. I’m feeling extremely terrible burning anxiety in my chest and constant SI. I don’t know how to survive much longer. This is excruciating. Is kindling permanent? 

[Jaxy59]

Plus I’m struggling to even eat because certain things aggravate the chest anxiety and I feel worse. Last night I didn’t sleep at all. 

[Catwoman73]

12 minutes ago, Jaxy59 said:

Thank you for your response. I’m feeling extremely terrible burning anxiety in my chest and constant SI. I don’t know how to survive much longer. This is excruciating. Is kindling permanent? 

 

No- we all stabilize eventually.  It takes time.  Relax, close your eyes, and just keep repeating to yourself that this is just withdrawal, and it is not permanent.  Mantras like that are helpful for calming the nervous system. 

 

13 minutes ago, Jaxy59 said:

I don’t know how to survive much longer. 

 

Try to avoid this type of thinking.  The reality is, we are much more resilient than we tend to give ourselves credit for, particularly when anxiety is so intense.  You will can and will survive this.  Patience, and learning to manage your thoughts and feelings will help. 

 

7 minutes ago, Jaxy59 said:

Plus I’m struggling to even eat because certain things aggravate the chest anxiety and I feel worse. 

 

Then eat what you can, when you can!  Eating something is better than nothing.  Fed is better than not fed.  Once you have a better grip on your symptoms, you can try to balance your diet more.  

 

9 minutes ago, Jaxy59 said:

Last night I didn’t sleep at all. 

 

If you can't sleep, then rest, and breathe.  If you can't rest, then distract yourself by doing something other than lying there freaking out about not sleeping.  Insomnia is a VERY common problem around here- one I struggle with on a regular basis.  The good news is that while it's uncomfortable, it's not going to hurt you. You may want to try a low dose of magnesium- it helps many people around here.  My personal secret weapon with insomnia is Yoga Nidra recordings on YouTube.  Throwing my headphones on with one of those playing is incredibly helpful.  Here's some stuff on insomnia:

 

Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

 Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 Melatonin for sleep

 Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

[Jaxy59]

Hi everyone! 
I am curious to see if anyone has ever heard of or used NAD treatments to help with withdrawal? I was blessed to talk with a woman at a med center in Arizona and she told me about about one of thier treatments called NAD therapy. It’s most often used through IV therapy but you can now get thermal patches. They’re quite expensive but I’ve seen some reviews of individuals that utilized these patches and it helped a lot with withdrawal. One woman had her husband drive from Canada to purchase as she was suffering from severe Akathesia. It almost eliminated most of her symptoms. It’s known to:

Detox from addictions without the agony of intense withdrawal

• Reduce or eliminate the incessant cravings that are the primary cause of relapse

• Reverse the damage that chronic or acute stress has done to your brain 

• Restore clarity and a sense of wellbeing

• Replenish and rebalance your brain to restore cognitive function
just curious if anyone ever heard of? 

[Catwoman73]

Hi @Jaxy59- how are you feeling today?  Did you make a decision about whether or not to try a small dose reduction?  And did you see your doctor?  What did she say?

 

I'm going to answer your PM questions here, so other members can benefit from the information as well.  Akathesia is actually an extreme symptom of kindling- so they are not the same thing.  

 

Hypersensitivity and Kindling

 

Akathisia vs Restlessness/ Anxiety/ Agitation

 

If you haven't been experiencing an intense desire to move, you don't likely have akathisia.  My suspicion is that you are experiencing severe withdrawal from the Zoloft stop, and this has been exacerbated by the revolving door of drugs you've been on since then.  You may be hypersensitive as well, which is why I suggested you try a small dosage drop, to see if it makes any difference.  

 

As for knowing when you have stabilized- it's a tough question to answer.  I can say with certainty that it does not necessarily mean being completely without symptoms.  I consider myself to be extremely stable, despite suffering from a myriad of symptoms from day to day.  The thing is, I can manage my symptoms relatively well, even when in a wave.  That's what makes me feel stable- the symptoms are there, but they are manageable.  

[Jaxy59]

Today I am having a pretty good day. Is that a good sign that I’m stabilizing? Very little chest anxiety and. O negative thoughts. 

[Jaxy59]

I am down to 6.1mg but I’m concerned going any lower. Still having palpitations but not as bad. It’s worse and noticeable when I stand up from sitting or lying. I feel my heart beat in my body and my hr goes up. I’m wondering if this is a developed POTS situation?. I’ve had a really rough few days full of terrible anxiety and SI but today is such a big relief and even last night was too. I’m praying this is a strong sign my body is becoming stable. So as for hypersensitivity, is that the same as kindling? I can’t tell if I have one or the other. I don’t have seizures or anything so does that rule out kindling?  They both seem so similar. 

[Jaxy59]

I also am confused as to whether when I do have bad days, is it withdrawal or hypersensitivity? I ask because when I watch what I eat, I feel good. 

[Jaxy59]

If kindling does happen, is it permanent or would I be damaged for good? I am definitely hypersensitive but can’t tell if it’s that or I am kindled. Or if my CNS is so dysregulated that my anxiety is exacerbated by it. This is all so confusing and I’m grateful for your knowledge and your time. 

[Jaxy59]

@Catwoman73 I also wanted to inquire about acid reflux? I’ve been feeling a lump type feeling my throat when I swallow and I sometimes wonder if the burning anxiety in my chest is acid reflux related or it’s all just anxiety? I’m asking because of me having hypersensitivity, I’m afraid to take an acid reducer for fear of a reaction. I took a few tums last week but can’t say if I reacted badly because I was already having some bad days. Plus tums don’t help much. 

[Catwoman73]

It sounds like you're having a nice window- enjoy it!  

 

Since you dropped to 6.1, I would hold there for at least a week, up to two weeks before making any further decisions. Take note of how you're feeling as the one to two weeks progresses.  You will continue to have windows and waves- that's totally normal, so don't freak out if you feel crappy again.  This is a sign that you are starting to heal, and that's exactly the goal.  

 

Hypersensitivity is a precursor to kindling.  I think you may have some hypersensitivity, especially if you feel better after making that small drop in your dose.   As long as you are keeping yourself relatively stable- not increasing and decreasing your dose all over the place, or adding other meds, you won't progress to a kindling state.  If you offer your body what it needs- stability- things will continue to improve (with ongoing windows and waves of course). Kindling is not permanent.  Everybody heals when the body and brain is given the right conditions to do so.  It takes time and a lot of patience, but you will get there.  

 

4 hours ago, Jaxy59 said:

I also am confused as to whether when I do have bad days, is it withdrawal or hypersensitivity? I ask because when I watch what I eat, I feel good. 

 

I suspect your bad days are more related to the withdrawal from the original Zoloft, exacerbated by the instability/hypersensitivity created by your subsequent revolving door of drugs. So it's probably a combination of things going on.  In either case, taking things very, very slow with your taper is the absolute key.  Moving too quickly could send you into very severe withdrawal.  If you like the idea of making tiny cuts, you should try tapering by the Brassmonkey slide method.  I'm using it right now, and it's practically magic, compared to all my previous 'tapers.'  I use the term loosely, because my tapers were all essentially cold turkeys in the past lol. 

 

The Brassmonkey Slide Method of Microtapering

 

As for feeling good when you watch what you eat, that tells me that you may have sensitivities right now to various foods, food additives, etc.  This is where a symptom and food diary comes in very handy- you can track everything you eat, and how you feel each day.  Using my symptom diary, I was able to identify hypersensitivities to coffee (even decaf), tea, chamomile (of all things!), and magnesium supplements.  

 

3 hours ago, Jaxy59 said:

@Catwoman73 I also wanted to inquire about acid reflux? I’ve been feeling a lump type feeling my throat when I swallow and I sometimes wonder if the burning anxiety in my chest is acid reflux related or it’s all just anxiety? I’m asking because of me having hypersensitivity, I’m afraid to take an acid reducer for fear of a reaction. I took a few tums last week but can’t say if I reacted badly because I was already having some bad days. Plus tums don’t help much. 

 

Serotonin is made in the gut, so lots of people around here (myself included) have GI symptoms while in withdrawal.  Just like the brain, it takes time for the gut to heal from the damage these drugs do over time.  So you may continue to have issues with your gut throughout your taper and beyond.  As for taking acid reducers, be very, very cautious.  PPI's are dangerous business, and require tapering themselves to prevent rebound reflux when coming off of them.  I've never found tums useful either, but a clean diet has been the biggest help for my GI symptoms.  A shot of apple cider vinegar can help as well. Read more about PPIs here:

 

Tips for Tapering off Stomach Acid Blockers, or PPIs

[Jaxy59]

@Catwoman73 hope you had a great weekend. I wanted to reach out and ask if being hypersensitive, that pertains to food as well right? I’ve noticed when I eat certain things, I can feel the burning anxiety build up in my chest which then makes my thoughts go haywire. Could that be hypersensitivity or would that lean more towards Akathesia? I’m really struggling to find what I can eat. I’m losing weight that I can’t afford to lose and it’s scaring me. 

[Catwoman73]

51 minutes ago, Jaxy59 said:

@Catwoman73 hope you had a great weekend. I wanted to reach out and ask if being hypersensitive, that pertains to food as well right? I’ve noticed when I eat certain things, I can feel the burning anxiety build up in my chest which then makes my thoughts go haywire. Could that be hypersensitivity or would that lean more towards Akathesia? I’m really struggling to find what I can eat. I’m losing weight that I can’t afford to lose and it’s scaring me. 

 

Lots of people have food hypersensitivities while in withdrawal.  In some cases, this is because of histamine sensitivity.  Read this thread, and the links contained within the first post.

 

Food Sensitivities

 

Keep a journal, and keep track of not only your symptoms, but the foods you eat as well. You may be able to identify your triggers, and eliminate them so they can no longer trigger symptoms.  Personally, I can't drink coffee (even decaf- so it's not the caffeine) and chamomile.  I am on a strict whole foods plant based diet, so I probably have other triggers as well, but my diet is super healthy, so I'm less likely to be exposed to very many typically triggering foods.  Many are sensitive to packaged foods with additives and preservatives- it's best to avoid those whether in withdrawal or not!

[Jaxy59]

Thank you for this. So I ate a chicken ceasar salad with dressing and a few bites of a banana today and I’m having burning chest anxiety. I have every morning but it’s increased a lot this afternoon. Is there a list of histamine foods on that page? Does it go away? 

[Catwoman73]

6 minutes ago, Jaxy59 said:

Thank you for this. So I ate a chicken ceasar salad with dressing and a few bites of a banana today and I’m having burning chest anxiety. I have every morning but it’s increased a lot this afternoon. Is there a list of histamine foods on that page? Does it go away? 

 

Like everything else, you will heal from this.  We just can't say how long it will take.  If you google high histamine foods, you should find many lists out there of things that could be triggering.  

 

I make my own plant based caesar dressing, if you like caesar- I can PM you the recipe if you're interested.  

[Jaxy59]

That would be wonderful. Yes please. I enjoy my ceasar salads. So eating these foods could also be increasing the burning, anxiety which triggers negative thoughts? So when it’s “that time of the month”, I’ve noticed the burning anxiety and all is torturous. Could this be histamine related? God bless you! You are truly helping me so much and I’m beyond grateful. 

[Jaxy59]

Also, if it is the goods triggering it, would it be an immediate reaction or next day kind of thing? 

[Catwoman73]

For me, the reactions would be within a few hours.  For example, I would have a decaf coffee at 11am, and by 2pm, my stomach would be cramping like mad, I'd be weepy and anxious. 

 

Hormonal shifts can definitely increase symptoms, so that's why your period triggers symptoms.  Sometimes being a woman really sucks lol!

 

Here's the recipe- there's a few odd ingredients, but they're not too hard to find.  Do be mindful that the nitrates in bacon (if you have bacon on your caesar salads) can be very triggering, even in people not in withdrawal!  I toast some pepitas in a frying pan with a tsp of olive oil, and add some salt once finished instead of bacon. 

 

1/2 cup plain hummus

1 tsp dijon mustard (find one that does not contain red wine)

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp nutritioinal yeast (natural source of B12- can find it in most health food stores/organic sections of the grocery store/ bulk food stores)

1/2 tsp himalayan salt (or other salt)

1/2 tsp pure maple syrup

1 tsp apple cider vinegar

1/2 tsp of black pepper

 

Wish together in a bowl.  If it's too thick, add 1 Tbsp of water at a time until it is the desired consistency.  

[Jaxy59]

Thank you so much!! I will certainly try!! 

[Jaxy59]

So I have a concern with weighing my medicine. I know that you had mentioned that it’s typically distributed evenly in the pill but what if my scale is off even by .1? Will I not stabilize and keep being made worse if it’s not exactly the same every day? If I put the pill directly in the center, it’s the 6.1 but if it moves even the slightest, it says 6.0 or 6.2. It’s worrying me that I’m permanently in a destabilized state bc the dose may be off by .1

[Catwoman73]

Just be consistent in your method.  If you put the pill directly in the centre one day, don't put it off centre the next day.  Many here zero their scales with a small container of sorts on it, and put the pill in the container to weigh it.  That ensures it's in the same spot all the time.  Alternatively, a small dot with a sharpie on the weighing platform could mark where you place the pill each day.  Consistency matters most when weighing pills!