Moppiness - intro

[Moppiness]

Hello all,

First post and I hope I’m doing it correctly. This is just a bit of a more detailed version of my signature:

 

I have a long history of being on ADs, but I’ve never experienced withdrawals until now. Probably not a coincidence, I’ve also never been on ADs for as long as I’ve been on Sertraline - 6 years at 100mg.

 

Last year (2023) I decided for many reasons I wanted to stop taking Sertraline. Tapered from 100mg to 25mg no problem. Then was told by my GP I could just stop 25mg, so I did. At the same time - and not at all predictably - I lost my favourite person in the world, my Granny. I didn’t know whether it was withdrawals or grief I was suffering from, so reinstated 25mg and went through 2 months of hell readjusting to them. I know now it was withdrawals. 

 

In May this year (2024) I started to taper again but hadn’t found this site and even though I thought I went slowly (2 months) it wasn’t nearly slowly enough. I aborted the taper at 6.125mg (ish - a quarter or a tablet) and went back up to 12.5mg, which was another 2 months of hell adjusting (severe akathisia, nausea, insomnia etc) which is the dose I’m at now.

 

Having read some of the topics, I think i’m currently experiencing my first wave. It’s terrifying. I thought I had stabilised on 12.5mg and then WHAM! Morning cortisol spikes have returned, anxiety, awful. 

 

I honestly don’t know if coming off the Sertraline is a good idea, but I know that going up in dose again will be another 2 months of hell that I just don’t have the resilience for. And I don’t feel nearly well enough to reduce the dose either.

 

I’m reassured after reading about windows and waves that this is normal and temporary but it’s hard to hush the fear. So figured I should get posting, keep reading, hang tight and learn from this community.

 

Side note: I discovered this site through reading an interview with Dr. Mark Horowitz, who mentioned it. I have since purchased his deprescribing guidelines for my GP practice as they thought I was nuts for not being able to “just stop”. Not sure if they have even looked at it but feel better knowing I’ve done my bit to educate them. I think it was well-received though.

 

I am so grateful to have found a community who gets it.

 

What I’ve read so far has really helped keep me going through some very dark days. Looking forward to feeling normal again.

 

Cheers,

Moppy

[Emonda]

Welcome @Moppiness

 

Sorry to hear you've had a tough time getting off ADs.

 

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

I have since purchased his deprescribing guidelines for my GP practice as they thought I was nuts for not being able to “just stop”. Not sure if they have even looked at it but feel better knowing I’ve done my bit to educate them. I think it was well-received though.

 

What a fantastic gesture! Hopefully, you have planted some seeds...and who knows what will growth from there.

 

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

Tapered from 100mg to 25mg no problem.

 

Tapering must be done very slowly. I celebrate (I really don't know what the right word / emoji to use is!) my 3rd anniversary of tapering in December this year...it's a slow process!

Why taper by 10% of my dosage? The reductions should get smaller and smaller each month, for example: 10mg, 9mg, 8.1mg, 7.3mg etc. This process involves a degree of trial and error, as there is no way of predicting how an individual will respond. Importantly, if you develop unpleasant side effects from tapering, halt the taper, give yourself time to settle, and once stable, taper more slowly and by smaller amounts moving forward. The experience of others suggests that the lower you go in dose, the slower you need to go with tapering.

Those that taper too quickly often develop very unpleasant withdrawal symptoms. This Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) is a helpful summary of what many experience.

What you describe in your post sound like WD symptoms to me.

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

At the same time - and not at all predictably - I lost my favourite person in the world, my Granny. I didn’t know whether it was withdrawals or grief I was suffering from

 

Grief is a normal response to the loss of a loved one. When you add in the very predictable WD symptoms from a rapid taper, it's not surprising that things got tough.

 

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

so reinstated 25mg and went through 2 months of hell readjusting to them.

 

You need to be very careful reinstating an AD. It would be worth reading these two links for future reference. I wonder if the 2 months of hell, may have been some sort of kindling response?

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

Kindling

 

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

I aborted the taper at 6.125mg (ish - a quarter or a tablet) and went back up to 12.5mg, which was another 2 months of hell adjusting (severe akathisia, nausea, insomnia etc) which is the dose I’m at now.

 

You need to be very accurate and consistent with your dose. A quarter-ish of a tablet is not accurate.

 

Some here use a digital scale (Gemini-20), and for some ADs, you can make a liquid version.

 

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

went back up to 12.5mg, which was another 2 months of hell adjusting (severe akathisia, nausea, insomnia etc) which is the dose I’m at now.

 

When updosing, small steps of <10% are better. Make a small adjustment, then sit back and observe for a reasonable period of time (weeks not days).

 

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

Having read some of the topics, I think i’m currently experiencing my first wave. It’s terrifying. I thought I had stabilised on 12.5mg and then WHAM! Morning cortisol spikes have returned, anxiety, awful. 

 

I'd be sitting tight, recording your symptoms in a diary and allowing your body to adjust to the significant changes you have made. It may take a few month.

 

After being stable for months, then you need to read up on the maximum 10% taper mention above.

 

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

I honestly don’t know if coming off the Sertraline is a good idea

 

I've had these feelings over the past three years. This is a sign you've gone too fast. When I've felt rotten, I've sat back and held my dose, and things have picked up. Then, when I feel confident to start tapering again, I do so by smaller less frequent amounts.

 

I've been taking these things for close to 30 years. Following the recommendations on this site / the wisdom of Dr Horowitz, I have reduced my dose by ~90%. There's nothing special about me. I'm proof that if you go slow enough, you can make progress.

 

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

What I’ve read so far has really helped keep me going through some very dark days.

 

Good to read.

 

17 hours ago, Moppiness said:

Looking forward to feeling normal again.

 

Time + patience. The tortoise beats the hare with tapering.

 

Some general info:

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but two that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. Add one at a time and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

Avoid alcohol.

Don't change the manufacturer of your AD.

Once again, welcome to S.A.

Emonda

[Moppiness]

6 hours ago, Emonda said:

I've had these feelings over the past three years. This is a sign you've gone too fast. When I've felt rotten, I've sat back and held my dose, and things have picked up. Then, when I feel confident to start tapering again, I do so by smaller less frequent amounts.

 

I've been taking these things for close to 30 years. Following the recommendations on this site / the wisdom of Dr Horowitz, I have reduced my dose by ~90%. There's nothing special about me. I'm proof that if you go slow enough, you can make progress.

 

 

Hi Emonda and thanks for the warm welcome. This 👆 gives me a lot of hope. Some of the signatures and "success stories" are a bit harrowing to read to be honest lol. I wish I had found this site sooner as yes, I made plenty of mistakes. Today's another wave day, but it's not as bad as yesterday so already feeling a bit more confident about the process. 

 

The wave has been helpful though. I may have brought it on myself with a combination of too much exercise, and too much caffeine. Not that I'm a gym bunny who drinks 5 cups a day, I'm definitely not. But it's been really eye-opening to realise just how sensitive my body/nervous system is to a lot of things at the moment. And I didn't realise that even exercise could potentially be destabilizing...I read that on a post here somewhere. My wave came on after an especially brutal week where even my feet were swollen from all the walking I did, so it's been good to learn that I need to not push myself so much. 

 

I am going to slowly add/adjust supplements. I currently take one fish oil capsule with dinner, which is 390mg EPA + DHA...a fraction of the dose suggested here, but I don't think it's wise for me to make such a huge jump.

 

But first, I've read in various places vitamin C may help with the morning cortisol spikes so that's this week's experiment. 

 

Slow, slow, even slower...it's my new mantra. It's kind of nice to abandon the idea that this can be over and done with quickly. I'm not in any rush, I just don't want to suffer any more than I already have so will likely stay at 12.5mg until at least next summer, depending on how the waves and windows go. Tracking symptoms and what I'm taking will be useful, good suggestion. 

 

I thought 7 years was a long time on ADs...that you've reduced by so much after being on them so long is incredible. You've really boosted my confidence that I haven't made a colossal mistake...thank you. 

 

🙂

Moppy

 

 

 

 

[Emonda]

12 hours ago, Moppiness said:

This 👆 gives me a lot of hope.

 

Awesome

 

12 hours ago, Moppiness said:

I wish I had found this site sooner as yes, I made plenty of mistakes.

 

I reckon we all say this. I certainly do.

 

12 hours ago, Moppiness said:

I may have brought it on myself with a combination of too much exercise, and too much caffeine.

 

We need to be kind to ourselves. If you overdo it, you pay for it...from personal experience.

 

12 hours ago, Moppiness said:

And I didn't realise that even exercise could potentially be destabilizing

 

Just find what works for you. Start with a walk around the block, if you can manage that, and work from there.

 

 

12 hours ago, Moppiness said:

Slow, slow, even slower...it's my new mantra.

 

As slow as a snail

 

12 hours ago, Moppiness said:

You've really boosted my confidence that I haven't made a colossal mistake...thank you. 

 

Others before me have boosted my confidence...you can do this 👍

[Moppiness]

Update: I had to request more Sertraline tablets ahead of schedule as the ones I currently have are little round things that frequently don’t split in half evenly. (Side note: I have two pill cutters, neither consistently cut even halves. If there is a “gold standard” pill cutter out there, I’d love to know).

 

I know that there is a brand of 25mg tablet that is scoured because I have some left over. I had tried them for a couple of days back in the summer, definitely noticed new symptoms, and wasn’t in a “wave” at that time. I went back to the round ones. 

 

I’m just concerned that, because I’ve requested my medication early (if a pill doesn’t cut in half properly, I discard it so I’ve ran out sooner than expected) I am about to be switched manufacturers without my consent. And I’m still very much in a wave, although it’s easing. 

 

I could be worrying for nothing, but part of me would also really appreciate having scoured tablets that easily split in half. I’m not prepared to reduce my dose anytime soon. Other than those 2 days of having the scoured tablets in the summer, nothing has changed since June 24, 2024. 

 

I guess I’m just bracing myself for something that might not happen, and wondering what the best possible solution to the high rate of unevenly split tablets it. I don’t particularly want to start making my own suspensions if I can avoid it, but maybe that’s the way forward. 

 

I’m also worried about what symptoms I may face if I am switched, and for how long. Just hoping that it’s not something I will have to deal with but I’ll find out soon enough.