PONYPALM: Withdrawing from Lexapro and looking for support

[PONYPALM]

Hi all, I am new here and need some advice. 6 years ago, I had problems with anxiety. My GP suggested I

start taking Lexapro 10 mg. I didn't k now what I was getting into. From the very beginning, I started having 

problems.  Severe insomnia, very bad anxiety. Then my GP told me that he has a very good experience with

Trazodone and this will help me with insomnia.  By that time, I educated myself a little bit about these "wonderful" drugs, and how difficult to get off them. So, I asked him if this will be a problem.  His answer was

not at all. You can quit anytime you want. First of all, it didn't help at all. So, at his advice I was experimenting

with different doses. Going up, going down. It didn't work. So, I ended up taking 2 medications and having same problems. I asked the doctor to take me off of both medications.  But of course, it was too late. I tried many times with Trazodone and Lexapro.  Could do neither. Was getting terrible anxiety and insomnia.

Searching for answers I found this Website. So, I started tapering Lexapro beginning in December of 2022.

10% a month. Everything was working beautifully, and I thought that finally I will be able to get rid of this curse. Until after going from 1.5 mg of Lexapro to 1.35 mg, everything got really bad.  Insomnia, anxiety.

I panicked and went back to 1.5 mg for 5 days. Anxiety and insomnia continued.  After this:

1.6 mg for 11 days.  No improvement; 1.8 mg for 65 days. No improvement; 1.9 mg -still on this dose for more

than 3 months. Anxiety nonstop. Insomnia is absolutely unbearable. I practically don't sleep at all. Crying all

the time. I know now that I made a mistake going back and force so fast. But now I am completely confused.

I think I am getting worse every day. I am exhausted mentally and physically. Everybody around me tells me to go and see a doctor. But since I don't want ever to go on medications again, I don't see any sense of doing it. 

Is it possible that being on the same dosage for over 3 months there is still no stabilization?  I don't know what to do. Should I continue staying on the same dose, increase or decrease the dose.

I don't know how much longer I can take it. I am feeling hopeless and desperate.

[Catwoman73]

Hi @PONYPALM, and welcome to SA!  We are a community of volunteers providing peer support in the tapering of psychiatric medications, and their associated withdrawal syndromes.  

 

Thank you for completing your drug signature.  And I'm so very sorry for your struggles. 

 

Since you've already discovered the benefits of hyperbolic tapering, I don't need to rehash its importance here.  I want to congratulate you on a successful taper up to this point.  Celebrate the wins- and getting to where you are today is a win!

 

To answer your question specifically, it is absolutely possible to hold for three months and not find stability.  Many here have had to hold for six months, some longer, to find some degree of stability.  I know it feels like an eternity, but when you get to these really low doses, things sometimes have to slow down quite a lot.  Looking at your timeline, I don't think you gave the updose of 1.5mg long enough to bring you back to your baseline.

 

Question- have you been tapering your trazodone at the same time as your lexapro?  We only recommend tapering one medication at a time here at SA- tapering two or more at once can increase the degree of instability you experience, and make it confusing as to which drug is causing the problems for you as you taper.  You can read more about deciding which drug to taper first in the following link.  In your case, starting with the lexapro and holding your dose of trazodone until your lex taper was 100% complete would have likely been your best option. 

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

In any case, what's done is done, and the question is, what to do next?  At this point, I would absolutely continue to hold your dose of both medications.  You are going to need a very long hold to re-stabilize.  You say in your signature that your anxiety seems better at times- this is a very good sign.  As we stabilize, it is absolutely normal to go through periods where you feel better, and periods where you feel worse.  This is what we call the windows and waves pattern of stabilization, and it is an excellent sign that healing is occurring.  No one can say how long it will take to find more stability, but windows and waves are a sign that you are on the right track.  You can read more about windows and waves here:

 

Windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

I know you feel like you are a slave to your anxiety, but you are not.  Now is the time to take your power back, give your body what it needs to continue to heal, and work hard on non-drug coping mechanisms to help you through this very difficult time.  I would start by keeping a symptom journal.  Rate each of your symptoms on a scale of 1-10 for severity each day.  This will help you see your windows and waves a bit more clearly.  Without written evidence that they are occurring, it's very easy to become overwhelmed by the waves when they come.  If you have evidence that you feel better at times, that can be enough to hold you during the rough periods.  You can use the following list of typical withdrawal symptoms as a template for a journal, if you wish:

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

While working towards stabilization, there are a few things you can do to help your body heal.  Most are rather intuitive.  Eat a balanced, whole foods diet, stay well hydrated, get gentle exercise/movement and rest as much as you can and need to.  Avoid all neurologically active substances, such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and recreational drugs- these things are like pouring gasoline on a fire.  They will only make your symptoms worse.  And do not add any other psychiatric drugs into the mix.  When in withdrawal, the effects of these drugs are not predictable, and can make things worse rather than better.  

 

We recommend two supplements here at SA- magnesium and omega-3 fatty acids. Do be mindful though- it is very common for those in withdrawal to develop hypersensitivities to all sorts of things.  Medications, supplements, even foods!  So if you choose to try a supplement of any sort, including those we recommend here, start with a very low dose, and see how you tolerate it.  You can increase slowly over time if all goes well.  I am a prime example of this- magnesium is supposed to be calming (so it might be a good choice for you), but when I tried it, I developed brain zaps and insomnia.  Fortunately, because I started on a super low dose, I was able to stop it right away with no ill effects.  Slow is the way with all things in withdrawal!

 

You may benefit from using your journal to also track your food intake and activities.  Most of us have symptom triggers- things that make us worse that are totally unrelated to the drugs themselves.  Through journaling, I've been able to identify that I am sensitive to coffee (even decaf), chamomile, refined sugar, and intense exercise.  Once you start to identify your triggers, the journey becomes a bit less bumpy, as you know what to avoid. 

 

In terms of dealing with emotional and cognitive symptoms, it is really, really important to work HARD on developing some non-drug coping mechanisms.  This will not only help you through withdrawal, but will help you for the rest of your life when you encounter difficult situations.  We have many threads on non-drug coping mechanisms here- I'll link some below.  Speaking from personal experience, I have found that cultivating a mindfulness practice has been the most useful thing I have done to help deal with anxiety and depression.  I use guided meditations/yoga Nidra/ nature sound recordings to help with anxiety and sleep.  I use CBT techniques to deal with anxiety and cognitive issues (box breathing, identifying/challenging/replacing negative thoughts, etc).  I spend time outdoors, in nature.  And I engage in a handful of distractions- things that bring me joy.  Swimming (I feel normal in the water!), cooking, dancing and artistic projects are among my many distractions.  It's really important to work at figuring out what helps you calm YOUR nervous system down to get through this journey.  Here's some links to get you started:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

"Change the channel" - dealing with cognitive symptoms

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

Symptoms and self-care

Getting Started with Mindfulness

The importance of recognizing you're feeling good

 

Insomnia is something almost all of us struggle with from time to time.  Here are a few more links on this topic, specifically:

 

Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

 Melatonin for sleep (Please note the VERY low effective doses- more is NOT better!)

 

In summary, I think a MUCH longer hold is going to be necessary for you. You are already seeing some windows, which is a good sign.  Give it time.  While you wait, start that journal, and work on taking very good care of yourself, both mentally and physically, as described above. This is the most important work you'll ever do, and I have faith that you can get through this! ❤️‍🩹

 

This is your introduction topic.  Each member gets one intro topic.  Please post questions and updates here.  But do explore the rest of the forum- there's tons of good info here!

 

On a final note, you would almost certainly benefit from reading and commenting on the intro threads of other active members here.  This can be a very lonely journey, and by engaging with other members, you create a community of people who will support you, understand you, and carry you through the rough times.  And community is something that we can all benefit from! 

 

I look forward to following your journey, and helping out in any way I can!

[PONYPALM]

On 10/2/2024 at 11:21 AM, Catwoman73 said:

Thank you, Catwoman  for your detailed reply to my questions. I am so glad that I could finally speak with someone who has the same problems and can understand what I am going through. I practically don't have any Windows. My biggest problem is not being able to sleep. I think that I developed some kind of a phobia. Even if my day is bearable, when the evening comes, I get this dreadful sensation of anxiety.  And no matter what I am trying to do, it does not leave me. Then 

I don't sleep all night. I try all kind of breathing techniques, meditation. I take Magnesium, Melatonin, try different doses. All kind of Homeopathic stuff. So far, I could not find anything to help me.  I think, if I could only solve this problem, I will make a good progress. Otherwise, I don't see how I can survive. 3 nights ago, I had a decent night sleep. Probably because I didn't sleep 2 previous nights and just couldn't physically take it another night. The next day I was feeling like 

an absolutely normal person. Like I never had any problems. And of course, the same evening the dread and anxiety came back.  And I didn't sleep at all for 2 nights again. This is why I think

that if I could find a way to help my sleep problems, I will be much better. But for now, I am a total rack. Nonstop anxiety, crying all the time. As far as Trazodone, I am staying on 3 mg and not touching it. Do you think I went to 1.9 mg of Lexapro too high and too fast? 

Thank you and everybody for listening to me and for your help.

Best wishes and best of luck.

 

 

[Catwoman73]

If you had a decent sleep a couple of nights ago, that's great- that's a window.  Which means your brain is working on stabilizing.  This is a good thing.  I do recommend you check out the Path to Better Sleep link that I provided above.  There are some good suggestions there. 

 

I'm curious what time of day you are taking your dose of lexapro?  It's an interesting pattern when you say that you feel the anxiety creep up in the evenings.  That can have something to do with dosage timing, but it could also be psychological, knowing that you may have another sleepless night ahead of you.  

 

Are you engaging in good sleep hygiene practices?  Avoiding screens after sundown, no caffeine or refined sugar after 2pm, engaging in calming, relaxing activities in the evening, using your bed only for sleep?  These things do make a big difference. 

 

I know it's very hard not to get freaked out by insomnia, but it's much better for your body and brain if you can handle it with some degree of calm and acceptance.  I've had plenty of sleepless nights, and things have gotten much easier for me since I just learned to shrug my shoulders, and go relax on the sofa, and maybe catch up on my Netflix viewing lol.  The good news is that the brain will take micro naps, and you won't lose your mind over lack of sleep.  I know it's tough to get to that place of acceptance though- it has taken one heck of a lot of mindfulness practice and yoga Nidra for me to get to that place. Just keep working away at it, and keep believing that things will get better, because they absolutely will!