R2D2: Introducing Myself - R2D2

[R2D2]

Firstly, I'd like to thank the site creators, moderators, and everyone who has posted here. I can guarantee that I would have been back on citalopram within the first few months of quitting without the reassurance that things can get better!

Quick Background

I'm now 45, and I started suffering from anxiety in my mid-teens. I managed OK between panic attacks until 2010 (I was 30-ish) when I felt I could no longer cope. I started taking citalopram and quickly settled at 20mg. I was able to function much better after a few weeks and remained on citalopram until 2017, when I clumsily reduced my dose over too short a period. That led me into the worst period of my life, with brain zaps, prickling skin, confusion, exhaustion, and total sensory overload. I don't need to tell you all how hideous that time was, as I know you've all been through the same or worse, but for me, it was as much as I could handle. After two months, I went back to the doctor, shaking, and was put back on citalopram.

I tried again to taper, with more success, and in 2022 I came off it (more detail in my sig). I hadn’t found this site until after I’d completed my taper, so I now realise it wasn’t ideal. However, I have been free of citalopram since May 2022.

Symptoms

I’ve experienced a range of symptoms that I never had before stopping citalopram. In the early days, I had electric shock sensations, heavy brain fog, anxiety, and a severe sense of unreality or being in a dream, but I was able to manage through them. Now, my persisting symptoms are anxiety (mostly manageable), face prickling, and more recently, a sense of being off-balance when walking, along with a sense of tightness.

Off-balance

Feeling off-balance is the newest symptom (around 12 months), and it has me wondering if it’s not a withdrawal symptom at all. I don’t actually lose my balance; the best I can describe it is a sense that I’m walking on the deck of a ship that occasionally sways very gently. I don’t stumble or fall, but it’s very unsettling and feels like if it got a fraction worse, I might start to stagger. It’s not vertigo, as there is no spinning sensation, and it improves if I stand still and close my eyes.

It’s usually at its worst when I’m on a walk or going around shops. I don’t tend to feel anxious when it happens, and it’s often accompanied by a kind of pressure in my head, like when you’re tired and trying to solve a complex problem that you just can’t manage.

I’ll stop there! There’s a lot I’ve left out to try and keep this short, but I’d love to know if anyone can relate to the off-balance issue I’ve described. I have an appointment with a neurologist on Saturday, and I’m quite nervous about being messed with!

 

 

[LotusRising]

Welcome to SA @R2D2,

 

Feeling off-balance is certainly not uncommon in WD. Have you been getting new symptoms ever since discontinuing?

 

Have you had any recent stressors?

 

It wasn't a main symptom for me, but I do get this sensation from time to time. 

 

We have a couple of threads with related symptoms. Perhaps you'll find something that resonates:

 

 

Please don't hesitate to reach out!

 

LotusRising

[R2D2]

@LotusRising Thanks for the reply!

 

I haven't been experiencing new symptoms since discontinuing, but it feels like some symptoms come to the forefront for a few months, then fade into the background. If that makes sense? I feel like the off-balance sensation is an extension of my unreality/dissociation feeling – it’s as if it worsened to the point of making me feel off-balance. But it’s so hard to describe, especially to doctors!

 

I suspect it may be vision-related, as the closest match to how I’m feeling comes from websites about binocular vision disorder (BVD) in the USA. I don’t see double, but apparently, even a slight misalignment of the eyes can cause symptoms similar to what I’m experiencing. Unfortunately, in the UK, it’s not considered 'a thing'. I went to an ophthalmologist, and he just smirked at me, saying, 'Balance issues are almost never related to the eyes.' After a brief examination, he declared that I have a 'slight squint', but that’s normal for 40% of the population and wouldn’t be causing my problem – sigh.